Polygamy 411

By now, I’m sure you realize just how extremely painful, in the beginning, polygamy was for me.  A woman has to experience polygamy herself to truly know what it is like.  For some sisters-in-faith, just to imagine and discuss polygamy causes intense emotional reactions in them. So, one could visualize what actually living a life that is polygamous is like.

The most important thing that I did, and continue to try my best to do, was turn my attention to Allah SWT.  At times, while living polygamy, remembering Allah SWT was very difficult for me. Undoubtedly, from hearing about my journey, you already realize I  lost remembrance of Allah SWT many times. I could not have remembered Allah SWT, and have been able to say some of the hurtful things that I said to Alex and Carolinah.  I would not have been able to do some of the mean things that I did to them. I’m trying to hold on and  be strong by remembering Allah SWT as much as I can.

I’d get down on my prayer rug and beg and cry. I begged and cried to Allah SWT, asking Him to help and guide me.  I asked Him to forgive me for all the wrong I had done in the past, was doing in the present, and would do in the future.  I asked Allah SWT to remove the pain I felt, and make things better for me and He did.  I repented, begged, and plead to Allah. Furthermore, I continued to read the Quran daily, during the very early morning hours (Fajr time), as well.

Allah SWT answered my prayers.  Things got much, better.  As you can see,  I am now writing about my experience with polygamy-my life- when at one time, I couldn’t talk about it without tears.