Polygamy 411

I’m hopeful polygamy 411 will be an encouragement for us all to check ourselves.  I was living polygamy in agony. I agonized myself. 

Although I know Allah SWT knows, sees and controls all things, I thought I’d keep watch over Alex. When he was home with me, I was almost like his shadow.  If he weren’t in the room with me, my ears tuned in, trying to hear. When he picked up the phone, I wondered who he was calling.  If he was speaking on the phone, I wondered whether he was speaking with Carolinah.  When the phone rang, I wondered if it was her. 

Alex, pretty much, didn’t leave our home without me on my days, other than to go to work.  I went with him to the store, to his mother’s home, everywhere he went, accept work.  I thought if he left to go to his mother’s, or anyplace without me, he just might end up at Carolinah’s home.  I tormented myself. 

I remember the first Saturday that was my day (after Alex married Carolinah and after all the holidays had passed); Alex came home early in the morning from being with Carolinah.  I was happy he had arrived so soon.  The next Saturday or Sunday, whichever day I expected him, he didn’t arrive in the morning. I watched the clock, and the hours pass. Morning came and left without me hearing a word from Alex. 

The early afternoon arrived.  I called Alex’s cell phone, and went directly into voicemail. I called in the early afternoon, all afternoon.  I was furious. Needless to say, I left him mean, hateful and nasty voicemail messages

Eventually, Alex came home. It was like around five o’clock p.m.  I had no conversation with him for several hours.  He was angry with me, as I wouldn’t talk to him.  What I took myself through felt like it was going to drive me crazy.