Does Polygamy Cause Fatigue?
by ana on Mar.21, 2009, under my journey
I asked one of my friends (Abdul) about his knowledge of men that practiced polygamy and what it was like.
Abdul said the men that he knew that engaged in polygamy were tired all the time, and tired of giving away all their monies. I mentioned that to Alex. He said he was “mentally” tired from living polygamy, but not physically tired.
Would Alex actually admit to a certain type of physical fatigue? I don’t think that would be very macho.
Perhaps, here at polygamy 411, we’ll hear from some of the men that practice polygamy. What’s it like for the husbands?
-
As Salaamu Alaikum!
Welcome to Polygamy 411! Our home is for Muslims and non-Muslims. It is for everyone who wants to talk about polygamy, or anyone who is in a polygamous marriage or is considering entering one. We like having company. Make yourself comfortable and join the discussion by leaving a comment. We look forward to seeing you here again soon and often.
travel 4 less!
April 17th, 2009 on 2:52 PM
Ive read and heard many stories dealing with polygany…but always from a females perspective…never from a mans. Ive often wondered why men are not forthcoming about their feelings and experiences with it…I tend to think its because they know they will be judged harshly as to why they entered it in the first place. Just a thought.
April 17th, 2009 on 6:16 PM
I think another reason men aren’t forthcoming about their feelings and experiences is simply because they are a whole lot different than women.
Most men don’t like to talk about their feelings. Talking about their feelings makes them feel anxious. Men express their love for women through their sexual escapades and prowess. They don’t want to talk about their feelings they want to show women how they feel. They like doing things for women, as it makes them feel needed.
One time I asked my husband Alex why he married Carolinah. He said he guess he just needed to be needed. You see…I used to do everything myself. I never asked my husband for anything until he married Carolinah.
Carolinah was very needy and needed a whole lot. And my husband needed to be needed… There you go. So if you think you’ve got the total package…beauty, professional job, money and all that…sometimes that stuff really doesn’t matter. A man usually wants to help a woman; that makes him feel special because he needs to be needed. That’s it in a nutshell.
You must wonder how I know this. I read a bunch of books about relationships written by John Gray, Ph.D. They were good books. I just have difficulty putting what I read into practice.
Oh, I forgot to say…men usually don’t like a needy woman, but likes the one that needs help. Needy is clingy…tell me you love me. Please don’t ever leave me…that kind of stuff.
April 18th, 2009 on 3:08 AM
You are exactly right!
Masculinity is “hero” mentality. Just as femininity is “princess” mentality.
By the way, “the whole package” is impossible, and even if you were perfect it has absolutely nothing to do with why he entered polygamy.
Men and women are very different in their true love. I think of the word “romance”. Ask ten men what “romance” is, and most will say something to the effect of “foreplay”. Ask ten women and they will say something to the effect of “my value to him”.
And both will use “love” in their answer.
Love, in all reality, is a verb.
April 18th, 2009 on 3:51 AM
Here is a blog from a man living Polygamy:
http://moroni-family.blogspot.com/
He would answer any of your questions.
By the way, I do not think you live polygamy, I think you are living multi-monogamy, which never works! At least you will never be truly happy all the time; until you conquer yourself through loving your (unlovable?) sister.
And may peace be unto you more and more.
April 18th, 2009 on 12:03 PM
Pliggy
Your comments are very profound. I read some of them to my friend. He had a comment or two for you. I suggested he reply himself. He said, no. You and he would go back and forth at it all day and night, he said. Communicating with you would be a project in itself. I’m wondering if you’re some type of ….ologist.
Your comments are intellectually stimulating, which is healthy for the mind. You offer a lot a food there for thought.
I want to comment on a few things you said; however, I’d have to do it later. Alex will be home this weekend. So, I might just be able to check in to moderate comments, and not be able to write much. I don’t want to be influenced in my writings by the thought of Alex knowing I’m talking to others about him, Carolinah, and me.
Alex doesn’t know about this blog. He wouldn’t have a problem with it though, as he suggested I do it six months ago.
I hope you have a very nice weekend.
April 18th, 2009 on 10:18 PM
Hello,
I am only one mere person, I am often mistaken and will always be willing to change my ideas to those that are better. But I have not only seen your experiences in others, I have felt the feelings you have. Although my experience was much different, the pain, and the need to repair my soul was as great (or if possible) greater than yours.
Believe me, when you come to the end of life, there is only one way to say that you have conquered; that you have done what God has sent you here to do. Is to know that you learned to think, and live your life, from His perspective. I need to do better.
I would love to be corrected by your friend, I do not want to say things that are not true. He can email me if he desires, and you can have your kind and learning husband email me too. I am weak myself and am always interested in improvement.
Pligchild@gmail.com is my email.
I am not on the internet always, and at times I am not on for several days in a row. So be patient with this fellow. You do not have to answer any of my questions to me, I just feel that you must answer them completely for yourself. Peace comes from knowledge.
Some say love it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razor
That leaves the soul to bleed
Some say love it is a hunger
an endless, aching, need
I say love, it is a flower
In you, its only seed
When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been to long
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that with the suns love
In the spring becomes the rose
May heaven always hear your heartfelt prayer.