Another Polygamous Phone Call
by ana on Mar.28, 2009, under my journey
I was getting very agitated. The stress of living polygamy was taking a toll on me. I was really beginning to feel like I didn’t exist-just the way Carolinah wanted me not to exist. I never heard anything from her, hadn’t spoken with her, hadn’t received a message from her…nothing.
So one day, during a weekend, I decided to go with Alex to visit his mother. I was keeping close tabs on Alex. After all, I didn’t want him to sneak off to Carolinah’s house.
I decided to pay Carolinah a phone visit before Alex and I left for his mom’s house. I called Carolinah’s cell phone and left her a voice mail message. The message went like this: “How does it feel to pretend to be a wife? I was just wondering how it feels to pretend to be married. After all, you got married on a weekday. I had the nice wedding reception and two weeks honeymoon. I just wanted to know how it feels.”
Before Alex and I left our house, I called my best friend and told him what I had done. My friend told me to tell Alex. This way Alex could go to Carolinah’s house, and retrieve the message before anyone in Carolinah’s home received it. My friend thought I had left the message on Carolinah’s general home answering machine. I advised him that I left the message on Carolinah’s cell phone. He told me that I should call her and apologize.
Carolinah must have reached Alex by cell phone while he and I were at his mother’s home, as his disposition changed. He was silent and didn’t answer me when I spoke to him. He didn’t speak to me all the way home.
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As Salaamu Alaikum!
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travel 4 less!
April 22nd, 2009 on 9:13 PM
Sista! I don’t get it why u can’t talk with her?, Prophets pbuh wives used to talk and share each other, off course they had fights but it’s normal, everybody get jelous.
All this is strange…plz explain it for me…
April 23rd, 2009 on 12:14 AM
F
Carolinah and I can’t talk to each other, as we do not like each other. We don’t like sharing Alex- especially sharing him sexually (I’m speaking about me. I don’t know whether she minds sharing Alex sexually or not. I’m just assuming she doesn’t like it. I think it’s an accurate assumption).
You said you would “kill” your husband if he thought about taking another wife. You said there is no second wife in your forecast. So you just answered your question to me-why can’t I talk to her? My feelings against polygamy were strong when my husband married Carolinah.
Coolred38 summed it up nicely in her last comment about growing up in a polygamous culture opposed to growing up in a monogamous culture and accepting polygamy. I did not grow up in a society where it is common for a man to have more than one wife. I grew up in the USA. It’s not even acceptable for a man to have more than one girlfriend at a time, in America.
I am living polygamy, but I did not accept polygamy willing. I went with Allah-unwillingly. Now I am trying to stop struggling with Allah, as He drags me along and I’m trying to stand up and start walking….and follow His command.
April 29th, 2009 on 8:07 PM
OOOh now i get it!
I have the same feeling i could satnd the idea of my husband in bed with some other lady, even when i accept it is something Allah made permisible, i didn’t grew up in a society with poligamy either, so…not for me.
But i just saw Jane ‘s post an d i can understand it works for here…Praised be Allah!
May Allah make us trully faithfull muslimas.Amin
July 30th, 2009 on 2:44 AM
Slms ana as difficult as it is u should try n befriend carol for ALLAH SWT sake. Remember like u, she too was destined to be one of your husbands wives. Acceptance n adjustment for the pleasure of ALLAH SWT wil help set u free from your emotions n u will be able to live a happier life enjoying your husband to the fullest
July 30th, 2009 on 2:53 AM
Slms concentrate on been the best wife u can be when its your time with your husband so that he will miss u when he is away from u. Your luv and affection wil remain with him even when he is away from u. Dont waste your precious moments with him focussing on how to annoy carol. That wil only distance him from u
October 29th, 2010 on 4:36 AM
Shireen said … “concentrate on been the best wife u can be when its your time with your husband so that he will miss u when he is away from u. Your luv and affection wil remain with him even when he is away from u.”
I did all i could when he’s with me, but when he’s there with Ms. P he didnt even bother to call me, not even once. He totally forgotten about us.