Polygamy 411

The non-Muslim holidays that came soon after Alex married Carolinah were easy for me to take. Alex was with me those days, as scheduled.  I had become used to Alex and me being off work and home together those days, although we didn’t celebrate.

I don’t think Carolinah much cared about Alex not being with her those days, as I gathered from Alex it was customary for her to work non-Muslim “holidays”.  Furthermore, it allowed her to continue to celebrate those days with her non-Muslim family. You need to keep in mind Carolinah had just taken Shahada a couple of months or so before she married Alex and had non-Muslim children (a teenage child and an adult child) living at home.

“Valentine’s Day”, more so than other non-Muslim holidays, is difficult to ignore. You can’t close your eyes to the flowers, candies, cards etc advertised in the stores, TV, and everywhere you go. It is the one special day that many people are with the a very special  person who they love.  

The first Valentine’s Day, two months after Alex married Carolinah, was very difficult for me.  I had already sunk into a mood of deep melancholy.  I was very, very sad.  I didn’t even consider trying to go to work that day. The feeling of sadness was too overwhelming for me. I was unable to do anything.  I stayed in bed all morning. I just laid there.  Thinking about it now, I can only remember my feelings, not my thoughts. I don’t think I had any.

Mid morning, without any notice, without it even occurring to me that it was a possibility, Alex came over.  He said, “I knew you didn’t go to work.”  He seemed sad as well.  He lethargically looked through his closet in the bedroom, as though he had come there to get something.  I asked if he could be with me.  He said, “Yes. You’re my wife, right?”  He stayed a few hours and then had to leave.  It was nice.