Polygamy 411

Sometimes women say they are receptive to polygamy and to being an extra wife.  They haven’t eliminated the option completely (saying no way, no how, is the easy part).   But what happens when a woman actually becomes the other wife and emotions kick in.  What happens when she really begins to know the husband - like turns to love; there’s passion, desire….or maybe the other way around…like, dislike, loathe….?

Once people become intimate, usually, a bond begins to form.  You begin not to like sharing.  Jealousy, envy, rancor and all those base feelings begin to rise, maybe even overpower you.

Those emotions weren’t strong before, as you didn’t know the husband.  You weren’t that involved.  How many people in general take the traditional wedding vows, saying they promise to love each other for the rest of their lives and till death do they part?  It probably feels that way when the persons are making the promise.

I think it is more difficult to be the first wife of a husband in polygamy. The bond of love and intimacy has already been established and negative, base emotions already ignited somewhere, somehow in the marriage.  The extra wife enters the marriage in the “honeymoon stage” and then she gets a quick dose of reality once she starts bonding with the husband.  I wanted Carolinah to get that reality check sooner than later.

I asked Alex when I was going to meet Carolinah.  He responded something like: She don’t want to meet you,  don’t want to see you, don’t want to hear you, don’t want to know you exist.  According to Alex, Carolinah said, “I’m not ready for her yet.”  That infuriated me.  She had audacity to encroach upon my marriage, plan and plot a relationship with my husband behind my back, and basically said I had to like it.  I don’t think so.  So, I decided to make my presence known… and felt.