Polygamy 411

I’m wondering how polygamous husbands cope with wives that have different styles. How does a polygamous husband combine the different styles of his wives into his life?

Let me give you an example: (Remember, Carolinah and I have separate homes.) Alex married Carolinah, as his second wife, just a little less than five years  of he and I being married.  Alex and I are now married just a little over seven years now. Recently, I would say within the last several months, I’ve noticed Alex closes one particular door in our home.  We have always left that door open when no one was in there. I concluded that Carolinah must like that door in her home closed. So, occasionally I had to remind Alex to leave the door open and a couple times I actually yelled at him about it.

I’m assuming Alex has gotten the routine down packed over at Carolinah’s home, as now he’s been closing our door, regularly. The last couple days that Alex has been with me, I’ve been running behind him opening the door when he closes it.  I’ve tried not to argue with him. I’ve tried to keep peace and I’ve tried to overlook.  Today, however, was the last straw. I opened that closed door too many times.

That’s not all. I go into the bathroom and the rug is close to the toilet. I don’t like my rug near the toilet.  I know many people like those wrap around the toilet rugs, but I don’t (No offense to anyone). I confronted Alex. He said his feet were cold. I said, “What, they just got cold now in seven years?” I said, “Stick your feet out farther so they touch the rug or put on slippers.”

Anyhow, a bit later, I’m on my way to the bedroom and the door that I mentioned was closed. Yes! I confronted Alex. I said look, I’m not going to run behind you opening doors that you close. I’m not going to readjust the way I live to suit your lifestyle ”down the road” – that’s what I called Carolinah’s place. I said the last seven years the door stayed open, but now because Carolinah likes her door closed, I have to live that way?  No. It’s not going to happen.

So, the question is how does a husband in a polygamous marriage cope with wives that have conflicting styles?  Must he remember always which of the wives’ home he is in and whether he should leave the door open or close it? Should the one wife conform to the ways of the other wife?  Should I leave the door closed and allow Carolinah to dictate how I live?  Should I leave the door closed to make it easier for Alex to stay in one routine so he doesn’t get chastised by Carolinah? Polygamous husbands – how do they cope?

This is an open house. No need to knock. Just come on in.