Polygamy 411

When a husband has more than one wife and is polygamous, which wife does he take with him when he travels (on a journey) for business.

Alex came home as I had expected. I was in a positive state of mind, and had made it my intent to avoid any type of conflict. Alex was pleasant. He was happy, and was in a good mood. We had a confrontational free evening with no mention of his surgery or his failure to communicate with me about the details of it. (See previous post about our Mutual Consultation conflict.)

The next day, late in the afternoon, Alex telephoned me. He asked me to take a journey with him. He wanted me to go with him on a business trip. It was a three days business trip that he scheduled back in January 2009. Including my regularly scheduled days, the journey would give Alex and me five nights together.

Being totally surprised and totally caught off guard by the invite, I hesitated, but then contemplated. Alex said, if I needed time to think about it, I could get back to him with my answer. I thought, well, what is there to think about, hotel, room service, Alex and me. I said, “Yes. I’ll go.” He said, “Well, get packing.”

Yes. I was happy. I was a bit stressed about the rush packing, but most importantly, I was happy. I felt good knowing Alex wanted me with him. I thought-could it be Allah was extending his Bounty and Mercy to me for my recent efforts to work out an amicable schedule, and keep the warring down between Carolinah, Alex and me. Allah knows best! With hardship, there is ease.

I was most pleased that Alex and I had previously worked out the schedule contract (about Alex, Carolina and me), so there would be no question that my three days on the journey with Alex were Alex’s business days. He would not have to make up the days with Carolinah.

Alex had taken me on business trips (journeys) with him before, during our polygamous marriage. The trips always coincided with my scheduled days. However, this was the first time he decided to take me with him on business on days that were not mine, but were solely his.

In polygamous marriages in Islam, a husband can take a wife with him on a journey. A business trip counts as a journey in today’s society.

Don’t worry. I’m not going to try to ruffle Carolinah’s feathers and text her about my journey (mini getaway) with Alex. I know firsthand how boasting and bragging backfires, and causes major chaos. Anyhow, what good is in boosting and bragging anyway?