Polygamy 411

Once and for all we resolved the conflict over our polygamous marriage schedule. So I hope. After a night of intense arguing and sleeping apart from Alex, he emailed me from work the next day. In the email,  he asked me to send him the dates that we had before agreed upon. He said he was putting together a new schedule, and wanted to make sure it was correct.

I telephoned Alex. He said adding days to Carolinah’s vacation was now OK. He stated her 2nd seven days of vacation would be Nov. 30-Dec. 6, 2009. She would keep the two makeup days that she had scheduled before for his and her anniversary in Dec. 2009, as well. He said he and I would schedule our 2nd vacation for this year for Sept. or Oct. 2009.  All the previous makeup days owed Carolinah were now reasonably scheduled. So the agreement that Alex and my wali had previously made was left in tacked.

I advised Alex that I was typing up the contract. I said I was putting it in writing so he, Carolinah and I would have no questions in the future about how the schedule works.

I advised Alex the schedule was simple: Three days with Carolinah and three days with me. She and I would each get fourteen days of vacation with him each year. There would be no makeup days, no days for holidays, anniversaries, birthdays, deaths, births, or anything. We could gift days with no makeups, as gifting days is acceptable in Islam. We each would give up days that couldn’t be used.

I advised Alex to confirm all the above with Carolinah, as I don’t want to discuss it with him again. He agreed to consult with her. He thanked me for encouraging him to consult with her, as well.

The polygamous schedule conflict was over. What a relief. There is no foreseeable way Carolinah or I could manipulate the schedule now. Only Alex could manipulate the schedule when scheduling his work (business trips) into it. Insha Allah, I’m not going to worry about that.

Alex came home that evening with the new, revised, and agreed upon schedule. He had fresh red roses with him for me, as well. It was nice!