الأول, الثانية, الثالثة, أو الزوجة الرابعة ، هل هي مهمة?

من قبل آن على Jan.14, 2010, خلال تعدد الزوجات - في أعقاب, القسم 2

لا يهم ما إذا كانت الزوجة هي أولا, ثان, third, أو الرابع في الترتيب العددي في تعدد الزوجات, على الرغم من أنه لا ينبغي. هناك الكثير من وصمة �ثالثار والدلالات السلبية المرتبطة يجري في الثانية, third, أو زوجة رابعة. هل هناك طريقة للحد من وصمة العار ودلالات سلبية? بعد كل شيء, لم يتم ترقيم وسيلة لتعقب من هو الذي?

أعتقد أن هناك وسيلة للحفاظ على الترتيب في المنظور. والمفتاح هو بالنسبة لنا أن نتذكر دائما أن معظم كرمت في البصر من خالقنا هو الأكثر الصالحين ، وإذا واصلنا هذه الحقيقة في الاعتبار, وأعتقد أننا سوف نسعى جاهدين للبر, وتذكر دائما كم هو عدد ضئيل. فمن الخطأ أن تزن موقف الزوجة من رتبة الشرف وعلى أساس النظام العددي لها في تعدد الزوجات.

ثانية, third, أو الزوجة الرابعة في تعدد الزوجات و, في كثير من الحالات, تلقت سمعة سيئة, التي لديها الكثير لتفعله مع المجتمع ونظرته. في كثير من المجتمعات, ولا سيما في الولايات المتحدة, الأول هو رمزي أفضل ألف الفائز هو الأول دائما في الألعاب الرياضية أو أي نوع من المسابقة, في سطر أو فقط في ترتيب الأشياء. الأول هو الفائز; الأول هو ا�ثالثضل. الثانية, third, أو الرابع هو أن مجرد- شكا عداء إذا جاز التعبير, في السطر التالي, تقريبا بأنها جيدة, لكن ليست جيدة بما فيه الكفاية ، وبالتالي, تتم هذه النظرة السلبية في أكثر من تعدد الزوجات لمدة ثانية والعديد من, third, ورابع زوجات.

الزوجة الثانية ليس فقط للتعامل مع الترتيب العددي, ولكن مع وصمة دعا مخربين المنزل, الدخلاء, العشيقات, محظيات, وغيرها من العناوين بحيث لا المهذب, التمهيد. أجرؤ على القول الزوجة الثانية قد يكون لها أكثر هيبة واحترام تعدد الزوجات في البداية, كما يعتقد ثانية ربما شيئا ما كان خطأ مع زوجات الأولى التي تبرر اتخاذ الأزواج الزوجة الثانية لتبدأ ، وهذا الشعور بالتفوق على الزوجة الثانية ربما حتى يسود عدد ثلاث زوجات يأتي على الساحة. وينبغي إدخال عدد من ثلاثة المعادلة زواج, الزوجة الثانية ربما تبدأ أيضا أن تشعر بأن الشعور بالدونية لبعض الوقت.

مثالي, وينبغي أن لا شيء من هذا المستوى في أن تعدد الزوجات. نيتي أن تبذل جهدا حزما لنتذكر ما هو أهم. ما هو الأكثر أهمية هو عدم المرتبة العددية, ولكن البر. كرمت أكثر في البصر من خالقنا هو الأكثر الصالحين.

استلهم أن أكتب هذا المنصب بعد أن من دواعي سروري ان اجتماع زينب, شقيقتي الصغرى في الايمان. أدعو الله يسر بشكل جيد معها.

هذا هو البيت المفتوح. لا حاجة لضرب. فقط تعال في يوم.

حصة / إنقاذ

14 تعليقات لهذا الدخول:

Nicole
January 14th, 2010 على 10:45 PM
HI I know you follow megans-polyblog and I feel greatly that we have been scammed in a way. I know now she is a blunt liar. She posted a picture up of her so-called ultrasound and I found that same picture on another family’s blog at

http://iflifegivesyoulemons.com/2009/01/07/25-week-ultrasound-december-18-2008/

Plzzzz help me expose this person for who they really are, A LIAR!

UGHHH I was so loving her blog! It sucks that she is fake!

and just in case the little wench does delete it here is the proof of her post and also just in case something does happen to the other persons blog here is the screen shot of them both!

http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/4874/meganslies.jpg

http://img705.imageshack.us/img705/3584/meganslies3.jpg
"زوجة"من
January 15th, 2010 على 9:06 PM
Islam Ana,
I am glad that you posted this “ranking” قضية. Of all people I know all of this too well. Being a #2, I was called everything by everybody that did not understand what we were trying to do. In my mind, being called second was purely based on chronology and not some superior or inferior thing. I think that western ideology lends to this crass over-inflated ranking stigma wherein any wife after the first wife is a lesser wife.
I do think that the mentalities of #1, #2, and so on are influenced to feel inferior and or superior at different times based solely on how the outside world has dictated to judge polygynous marriages and based on our adopting of western standards. These things play on our self esteem when in face feeling a certain way about being first or second or having a second or third come in is in no way an insult to the other anyone. I think that we all need to just re-examine why we practice polygyny and get over the chronology although it will always be there with different wonderings at how it would have been had a wife been a different number.
but who am i to talk…
الصفحة الرئيسية
January 15th, 2010 على 9:27 PM
سلام “زوجة”من,

I totally agree with you that how we feel about being in a polygynous relationship, and what number wife we are has a lot to do with the society’s perspective on polygyny. It unequivocally affects the way we view and feel about ourselves, our self-esteem.

You suggested we all re-examine why we practice polygyny, and get over the chronology. You are so right and I’m glad you’ve mentioned it and worded it as you did. I’ve just very, very recently began trying to change the way I think and feel about #2, 3s and 4. I think I’ve been reacting, as I have out of a sense of arrogance and pride, which we know was Iblis’ (Satan’s-for non-Muslims) downfall.

هذا هو البيت المفتوح. لا حاجة لضرب. فقط تعال في يوم.
جديد # 3
January 16th, 2010 على 5:18 PM
Try being a number 3!! Even folks who accept our situation look at me as though I had 3 heads lol..seriously though, I think each wife has their individual perspective and their own pros and cons list about their so-called number.

I’m really enjoying this blog and

I love Ana’s twitter btw
الصفحة الرئيسية
January 16th, 2010 على 6:11 PM
New#3,

Thank you for commenting and sharing your perspective on what it’s like being number 3. I certainly can imagine the reactions you get from many people when they learn not only that you are in a polygamous marriage, but are number 3 كذلك.

As I’ve previously mentioned, I’m beginning to have an entirely new outlook on the numbering factor of wives in polygamy. I admire you a lot for hanging in there and being strong in your position. It’s wonderful!

I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog and our twitter, كذلك. I appreciate your positive feedback. It means much to me that you share what’s going on with you and polygamy, and to know your thoughts about the blog. All of what I’ve been hearing from you and everyone has helped me to grow and become a better person. Thank you again new#3

هذا هو البيت المفتوح. لا حاجة لضرب. فقط تعال في يوم.
خديجة Z
January 16th, 2010 على 7:13 PM
Asalaam Alaykum, iv been off line for a long time and i had made a few post here but i see they are now gone im a 4th wife in Egypt, an American revert InshaAllah i pray all are doing very well in this and i find you page to be very exceptional to say the least. Keep it up sister
الصفحة الرئيسية
January 16th, 2010 على 9:24 PM
As Salaamu Alaikum Khadijah,

I was able to find another previous comment from you under “Polygamy411 Thank’s Everyone.” You could put the title in the “keyword search” box. I think the “keyword search” box only picks up words from post titles. I have to see what I can do about keyword search for comentators.

ومع ذلك, I’m really happy you’re back with us and still like the blog.

I have to say WOW about you being number 4. It’s amazingly wonderful! I can’t believe I feel that way now. Life is amazing! For the moment I feel I could be a number 4. Don’t hold me to it though; I must be having a good day. I may not feel this way tomorrow

هذا هو البيت المفتوح. لا حاجة لضرب. فقط تعال في يوم.
mena
January 23rd, 2010 على 2:50 PM
salaam alayk ana, how have you been? I want to say what many would not like in here and it is that, I have a problem with people who have a problem with wife numbering. As far as I’m concerned, a first wife IS a first wife, and a second, third or fourth is exactly that. whoever wants to marry my hb better not come with the “there is nothing like first wife” attitude. If you so don’t want to be referred to as a second wife, how about you marry a brother who does not have a wife. Its as simple as that.

ضريبة, I just updated my blog, please check it out.
الصفحة الرئيسية
January 23rd, 2010 على 5:01 PM
Mena, وعليكم السلام وا! مرحبا بكم في تعدد الزوجات 411. It’s the first time you’ve commented here and I’m happy you did.

In your comment about numbering wives, you said “Its as simple as that.” جيد, simple works for me. Really though, there’s no way of getting around the numbering. It’s all about identification. I agree with you that second and subsequent wives have to come to terms within themselves about the numbering thing.

The only way seconds, thirds and fourth can compete with wife number one is in righteousness. We can compete for righteousness. Other than that, ooops sorry, you’re second. الآن, why did I say that? Satan can certainly bring out the worst in us. I have no problem with seconds, thirds, and fourths here or anywhere. We’re all friends. It’s not personal like with me and Carolinah. Please remember that. We’re all just keeping it real.

هذا هو البيت المفتوح. لا حاجة لضرب. فقط تعال في يوم.
خديجة Z
January 25th, 2010 على 3:29 PM
Asalaam Alaykum dont worry okhti you’ll find soem days are very good and others feel as if the ground has been pulled out from under you. Best to take each day with what ever comes one day at a time and say Alhumduillah for all pray and Allah will ease it for you. I’m glad to be back its my router, inshaAllah will be fixed soon, and shukran for wanting me back i find this to be a pace to get a laugh, a new idea and even a good cry, and i pray this page dose the same for us all,
الصفحة الرئيسية
January 25th, 2010 على 4:57 PM
وعليكم السلام عليك, خديجة Z

That was very sweet. إن شاء الله, I’ll make duah for you that Allah makes all your dreams come true.

هذا هو البيت المفتوح. لا حاجة لضرب. فقط تعال في يوم.
ibnu adam
January 26th, 2010 على 7:06 PM
I’d suggest the wives not to fixate themselves with the “number game”. A good husband doesn’t differentiate between his wives
Brittnay Stead
June 21st, 2010 على 3:52 PM
Hello everyone i was just checking out the site and I am looking for a site where i can get more information from other 2nd wives. I am a second wife and I have been for the last 5 سنة, now my husband is wanting a 3rd wife and i am a little uneasy right now with the situation. I feel like i am not important anymore. Can someone please help me. thank you
الصفحة الرئيسية
June 21st, 2010 على 4:07 PM
Hi Brittnay, You’re new to polygamy 411. We welcome you. I think what you’re feeling right now is equivalent to what a first wife feels when her husband takes a second.

I think the novelty of your marriage wore off. The newnest is gone. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or that you are not important to him. Marriage gets old for everyone when the routine sets in. Men look for new XXXXX. They like new. عادل أفكاري.

هذا هو البيت المفتوح. لا حاجة لضرب. فقط تعال في يوم.