I have written “My Journey” and “My Story Today” in book like form  (read from top to bottom), which does not conform to how one normally reads a blog. To set the posts up this way, I had to change the dates of the writings. This explains why the dates of the posts do not coincide with the dates of the comments, responses, or replies from commentators.

Being new to blogging, I did not do so well with the timeline in the posts. To give you a better idea of the timeline, Alex and I became polygamous in December 2006 (When Alex “married” Carolinah). I began the blog in February 2009. So, you can see I began blogging about our lives just a little over two years of becoming polygamous. I was still a complete mess (psychologically) at the time.

I hope this explanation was helpful.

This is an open house. No need to knock. Just come on.

The day before Alex and I left for vacation (May 7, 2009) started off quite nicely.  We went to the movies; after which, we came home and finished packing.  Alex wasn’t his usual self though. He wasn’t the Alex I’ve always known when we packed for vacations. Him being a bit stress was customary before we went on vacation, as packing, preparing  to leave, and the last-minute checking everything is taxing on ones nerves.

This time while packing, Alex appeared angry. He had a mean, ornery look on his face. His anger wasn’t directed at me.  Nonetheless, it was all over his face and it disturbed me tremendously. (You would know why, if you’re familiar with  “Snap, Crackle and Pop”, the post from my first account of my story. It pertained to our vacation in August 2007).

Yes, Alex shortened our vacation this time-May 2009 (with explanation), which was exactly what I had expected him to do. Remember, Carolinah had a near breakdown the last time he and I went away for “so long” in August 2007.

Now, on May 7, 2009, it appeared Alex was thinking of Carolinah while we were packing… so, to me, it seemed.  I wondered…was she distraught again?  Had they an argument before he left her that morning (May 7, 2009)?  I don’t know.  He said everything was OK when I asked what was wrong.  All I knew is that I didn’t like the look on his face and I blamed her ( Carolinah) for it.

Must we take her everywhere we go . Will he think of her while we are away?

We landed and arrived at our destination on Friday, May 8, 2009.  The scene was gorgeous, extremely beautiful, just picturesque…

All was good, for the moment that is.  Here is where the problem came in:

My understanding is that in polygamous marriages when one wife is happy the other one is usually sad and vice versa.  The husband wants the wives to both be happy at the same time. Can two wives of one husband be happy simultaneously?  Would Alex ever be happy in our polygamous marriage?

Alex still didn’t seem quite himself that evening and I was getting a bit tired of it. The whole time, now, I’m thinking about our polygamous situation, not about my new-found earthly paradise. I’m now thinking, I’m with someone who is probably concerned about what’s happening back at home with his other woman…oops…wife.  Was she “breaking down?”  What did she say to him before he left?

So, I go out on the balcony to relish the breath-taking view and breathe in the fresh cool breeze, only to go back inside and find Alex on his blackberry. Was he communicating with Carolinah?  Once before when Alex and I were away, Carolinah continued to text me, saying Alex was going to think of her the entire time he was away with me.  Was she intent on making that happen? I began to question what was real and what was just my imagination…what was going on here?

The more I thought about Alex’s preoccupation with Carolinah or whatever was distracting him at the time – what else could it be?- the more infuriated I got with the two of them.  So what to do now?  OK…Carolinah was giving Alex and me something to think about…let me give her something to think about as well.

So, I text her… and I text her… and I text her.  I will tell you only some of the things  I said to her.  Some things were just repetitious of what I had said to her in earlier voicemail messages to her.  For instance, I told her to keep imagining what it would be like to have a “real” husband.  I told her to keep trying to convince herself that she has one – a “real” husband.

But, I think the most disturbing part for her was…I told her that I owned part of her house.  I let her know that if anything were to happen to Alex, I was coming after my equity in her house.  After all, my husband’s monies are helping her pay for her (their) house. Alex’s monetary interest in her house is my interest. It’s called “marital interest”- State – Family Law.  Not once did I forego my marital rights under the laws of the state in which I live.  I guess Alex and Carolinah didn’t consider that when they were planning their marital bliss.

I advised Carolinah that the insurance policy that Alex had obtained for her was not going to get paid, if anything happened to him. (Alex took out an insurance policy for Carolinah after the two of them first married.)  Do you think the insurance company is going to pay that policy when they find out Alex took that policy out for his illegal “wife”- polygamy?

I just wanted to give her something else to think about or to at least make me feel better, which I did.  From those moments on, I began to feel much, much, better.  At that moment, I began to begin my vacation.  I gave her something much more serious to think about, not only while I was on vacation, but every day to follow from that moment on.

While Alex and I were away on vacation, I thought we’d be able to discuss our polygamous marriage.  It was an ideal time to talk about it, as we were away from all the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, and were in a calm, relaxing, peaceful environment.

Since I had blogged with all of you, it felt easier for me to open up with Alex and take down the shield. After 2 1/2 years, I was now actually able to say Carolinah’s name to Alex, and not refer to her as “that woman” etc.  Another time when Alex and I were away on vacation (Please see my earlier post : “Polygamous Vacation Blues” ), Alex and I talked about our polygamous situation and we made progress.  We grew closer; it seemed.

This time, each time I tried to discuss him and her, he shut me down.  He said he wasn’t going to discuss me with her, nor her with me.  He kept telling me to call her, if I wanted to know anything.

After he told me several times to call her, I said to myself, why not. I still, of course, was aware I had recently text her some not so nice messages. Nonetheless, I thought it might be smooth sailing.  She had not responded to any of my texts, at least not to me, so I thought – perhaps she just blew them off.  Regardless, I decided to reach out to her.

So, I called Carolinah and actually reached her, not her voicemail.  I said, “As Salaamu Alaikum.” She gave me the Salaams back.  I then said I was thinking we could talk.  In an angry tone, she stated, “WE’LL TALK LATER!”  She then hung up.

OK…My intention is  to NEVER call her again.  To date, I haven’t heard from her.

Alex and my seventh wedding anniversary is this weekend.  Alex had prepared the schedule for Carolinah and me  since Jan 1, 2009.  I think I mentioned in an earlier post  that Alex arrived at my home on Jan. 1, as he wanted to change the schedule.  He wanted to stay the night with me so he could be with Carolinah on the weekend.  I sent him back to her.  Who did they think they were to make changes without consulting me.

Before he left that day, we went over our schedule for the next several months.  He and Carolinah apparently had prepared it.  Earlier I had  informed him that I would not make a schedule, but I would approve or disapprove one.   He scheduled us to be together six days during our wedding anniversary instead of our usual three days here and three days there. I wasn’t excited about it nor did I ask for it, but- what the heck. He emphasized his wish to spend each of our anniversaries and birthdays with each of us.

Anyhow, Alex was excited about  celebrating our upcoming anniversary.  He talked much about it during our vacation last week and when we got home.  He had a surprise planned for us.

Well, Alex called me a couple of days ago. He wasn’t expected home until the weekend.  He said he would be home that evening.  I asked why.  He said he’d talk to me about it when he got home.  I asked if he and Carolinah had argued.  He said, “Yes. What do you think?”  Since he was changing the schedule, I wanted to confirm he’d still be home on the weekend for our anniversary.  He said, ”No.”  He wouldn’t.  I told him that he better not come home then.  He said he was coming anyhow.  I spontaneously said, ”If you come here, I’ll call the cops.”  He said he couldn’t go to Carolinah’s house, as she could call the cops. He said it was legal for him to come to my house.

Alex and I were on the phone arguing for the next few hours or more.  He said Carolinah was upset about the texts that I had sent her and she and he had argued for the last three days.  He said she wanted the schedule to go back to the three days, three days.  She changed her mind about letting him stay with me on a six-day schedule for our anniversary.  I asked if he was crazy to think he would spend my wedding anniversary with her.  He said that was the way she wanted it and I shouldn’t have sent the texts.  He said her job gave her off the weekend and she wanted him there with her.

I advised Alex that if Carolinah would not allow him to go there, she forfeited her days.  He said, “No.”  I told him to go stay at his mother’s home or someplace, but he couldn’t come to my house.

Talking about blood pressure rising… I thought I’d stroke out or something.  I told him that woman could run his life but she wasn’t going to run mine.  I told him I was calling my friend (Wali).  He freaked out, asking me how I could disrespect him by calling another man.  We went back and forth.  I was hysterical.  I called him so many names, such as “a coward, punk” to put it mildly…there was much, much more, of course.

We telephoned each other back and forth.  He said he was on the phone with Carolinah trying to convince her to change her mind.  I’m like…”ARE YOU CRAZY!”   I told him, if he didn’t come here this weekend I was going to go start divorce proceedings Tuesday.  He called me back and said he thought he had convinced Carolinah to leave the schedule as it was, as we are to honor contracts.

It’s war now!  I’ve calmed down minutely and I’m a bit more rational now.  I am not going to divorce Alex.  I’m going to live in this polygamous marriage and we will see which of the three of us breaks down first.

I’ll keep you posted on whether Alex and I spend our anniversary together this weekend or whether he celebrates my anniversary with Carolinah.

The wait…It was extremely stressful for me, waiting to see if Alex would come home for his and my anniversary.  Although I believed he’d be here, I had no definitive answer. He had refused to give me one. I think you’d agree knowing something with certainty is way better than being on edge, wanting, waiting and hoping,not knowing what would be.

Alex telephoned me on his way home, as he normally does, asking if I needed him to pick up anything on his way in. What a relief… Now the wondering was over for me. I suggested we drive to pickup Halal Chinese food (approx. 40 minutes from our home.)  He was receptive. He came home and dropped off a new vacuum cleaner that I had told him we needed.  We went for the drive, stopped at a bakery, as well, and came back home. It was a good, uneventful evening.

I asked Alex if I should get ready at any specific time or wear anything in particular for our anniversary, which was the next day, as I didn’t know where he’d made plans for us to go.   He said he hadn’t planned anything. He said he thought I had planned something. He said we usually don’t do anything on the holiday weekend; we do something before the holiday begins.  To me, it was not absolute about how we’d do things.  However, I thought, well, we had gone away on vacation just the week before. We celebrated our anniversary the entire time we were there. The resort helped us celebrate by giving us the royal, special treatment and we had an anniversary package.  So what more could I ask for?

Nonetheless, the stress was still there…stress… polygamy…added stress. Life is stressful enough. What happens when one adds polygamy? … POLYGAMOUS STRESS!

Did Alex’s deceive Carolinah by not telling her the truth that he and I would be away on vacation, celebrating our anniversary? Did it  spark the chain of events?  Were my text messages to Carolinah the Catalyst for the dark, thick cloud that hung over what I only days before perceived would be my special weekend-my anniversary?

Carolinah didn’t like that Alex had gone away on vacation with me, and had celebrated his and my anniversary at that time.  She had found out about it from text messages I sent her. (What Allah wants revealed, no one can conceal. What Allah wants concealed, no one can reveal.)

So, Carolinah decided she’d take matters into her own hands, as you already know.  There was total turmoil and immense confusion in our lives for a while.  But, Alex did come home as originally scheduled and the night was still.  What happened the next couple days is important.

When a husband considers taking direction from one wife when he has two, what type of effect does that have on a marriage?  A second wife tells her husband that she doesn’t want him there and tells him to go to his first wife; she then tells him when to come back home to her (the second wife) – is that an innovation?

Please tell me where Islam dictates that a wife can order the comings and goings of her husband and take control of the life of the husband’s other wife, as well…

So, it’s Alex and my wedding anniversary day. Alex is a very romantic person. For example, he does the flower thing on no special occasion. He was looking forward to our anniversary before Carolinah started her attempt to dictate how things would be, where Alex would be and when.

Alex did not mention our anniversary the entire day.  I asked him if he wanted to go see a movie.  He said he wouldn’t mind. He, however, showed no enthusiasm about doing it.  I asked if he wanted to go to the theater.  He said we could take a train into the City to avoid the holiday traffic and see a play, if I wanted to.  He said just let him know and he’d order tickets online.  Still, he showed no enthusiasm.  I could tell he really did not want to do any of those things.

Alex left the house one time that day and I thought it was to call Carolinah.  I was hoping he’d come back with flowers.  But, it didn’t happen. There was no romance. He didn’t seem happy. It was as if it was just another day and another night.

The next day was still our anniversary (Memorial Day).  Our actual wedding ceremony was the day before and our formal wedding reception was the next day (seven years ago).  Still, he didn’t say, “Happy Anniversary” or anything.  He left the house one time that day and I think it possibly was to call Carolinah.  I thought he’d come back with flowers, but he didn’t.

I was at my wit’s end.  That is when the conflict began.  I can’t remember exactly how, but we started to talk.  He said Carolinah wanted her days back because she had given them to me. He said he knew I had text her, as he had not told her that he and I were going on vacation and where.  (Carolinah apparently scheduled Alex and me to have an extra three days together for our anniversary, not knowing he had already planned (several months in advance) our vacation to celebrate our anniversary.)  He said Carolinah wanted to punish him and me. I told him I didn’t want the extra three days and to give them back.  (I figured I play her game.) He said he wasn’t going to do that.

Throughout the night we went back and forth.  I told him not to ever give me anything in the future that I didn’t ask for. I reminded him that he always speaks about being “fair and just”; I told him to make sure the next time he and Carolinah celebrate their “anniversary” that he sits at home with her and watch TV as he had done with me.  He had set a precedent for the year 2009. I told him I would remember our anniversary as the day that I regretted having married him.

I kept going back and forth at Alex the way I had done 2 1/2 years ago.  Alex’s patience was not the same.  I went into the bedroom and said something else to Alex.  He jumped out of bed. I fled into the living room. He stormed into the living room and saw me sitting on the sofa, trembling uncontrollably.  He said, “You just can’t keep coming at me like that.”  I yelled for him to get away from me and I ran into the bedroom.  He followed me there, as well.  I yelled for him to get away from me.  I went back into the living room.  I was hysterical. He went and got me a glass of water, and told me to drink it, but I didn’t. Meanwhile, I had curled up into a little ball, as small as I could get, and I couldn’t stop crying.  I kept praying to God that He wouldn’t let me be the one to breakdown first.

This is an open house. No need to knock. Just come on in.

I was distraught after several days of intense drama with Alex about “the schedule” and our wedding anniversary. Our polygamous marriage was definitely taking a toll on me physically, emotionally and psychologically.

I met with my wali, and advised him what had taken place just the night before. I asked him to please call Alex and speak to him for me (on my behalf).  He said he would. I was present for the telephone conversation, although it wasn’t a three-way. My wali used my cell phone to call Alex; therefore, Alex knew I was with my wali, during their conversation.

My wali said, ”As Salaamu Alaikum,” and engaged Alex in a mere moment of cordial conversation. My wali then said, “Your relationship with your second, your other wife, is spilling over into your marriage.”

I could overhear Alex quickly rambling on; although, I couldn’t make out what he was saying. My wali yelled several times at Alex saying, “YOU HAVE TO SHUT IT DOWN!  SHUT IT DOWN!”  He kept yelling, “Shut it down!”  My wali advised Alex that Carolinah was a “New Shahadah” and Faith had not entered her heart.  He reminded Alex that just because a person takes Shahada (vows to convert/revert to a Muslim), does not mean she becomes Muslim overnight.

My wali then said, “A woman will try you.  A woman doesn’t care anything about you (Alex), me (my wali), anything or anyone but herself, and getting what she wants.”  He kept telling Alex that he (Alex) must be firm. He has to be firm.

My wali  said to Alex that he thought I would have adjusted to the polygamous marriage by now, but I have not.  He said his (Alex) and my marriage was “crumbling”, as it was not built on the right foundation.  He reminded Alex that he (Alex) did not consult with me before doing what he did (engaged in polygamy) and there is no compulsion in Islam.  He said he (Alex) cannot force anything on me.  He has to consult with me.  Referring to  me, my Wali said, “She is your wife.  She is fragile. Be gentle. Be kind to her.”

My wali then reminded Alex, as he had done on several  occasions, that he would always be there for him if he (Alex) needed to reach out.  He reminded Alex that he has his (my wali’s) phone number, and could call him anytime.   The conversation then ended with my wali saying, “As Salaamu Alaikum” and he hung-up.

This is an open house. No need to knock. Just come on in.

Commentator CM, in a comment on my recent post, “Wali Intervenes in Polygamous marriage” , asked  how I am doing.  (Please see my reply

http://polygamy411.com/2009/06/06/wali-intervenes-in-polygamous-marriage/#comment-301)

Until I woke up this morning and found the schedule, I was feeling very good.

What should three people in a polygamous marriage do when the husband is clueless about how to make the schedule?  What should the husband and two wives do when the two wives don’t communicate, won’t communicate and can’t agree on a schedule?

My wali said, Alex, Carolinah, and my scheduling problem is “overwhelming.”  I certainly, not in any way, would not ask my wali to make the schedule.

My wali said polygamy is only for “Believers” ; for anyone else it won’t work.  There would be no harmony, no peace and no tranquility.

What should we do about “The schedule” – Marriage on a schedule?

This is an open house. No need to knock. Just come on in.

Again, I called my wali to intervene in Alex and my dispute about our polygamous marriage.  However, this time Alex agreed to the intervention. Alex met my wali at my wali’s home. They were to discuss our ongoing problem with scheduling. The problem this time was that Alex had given Carolinah my days.

The next morning, my wali told me what had happened in the meeting between him and Alex. I hadn’t spoken with Alex, after the meeting. My wali said he and Alex mainly spoke about Islam and our marriage.  He pointed out to Alex that his and Carolinah’s relationship was borderline “fornication” and “adultery”.  He again advised Alex that a man in a polygamous relationship must take the lead or it won’t work.

He brought to Alex’s attention that he (Alex) was more inclined towards Carolinah, as the two of them desired the same thing (to live this-worldly life, according to the dictates of society), and were not  interested in practicing Islam. He advised Alex that he will be held accountable for leading me astray (away from Islam).  My wali reminded Alex that I had never observed non-Islamic holidays, such as the Fourth of July; anniversaries; birthdays etc. until I married him (Alex). My wali advised Alex that things got far worse when he “married” Carolinah. For instance, I began using  profanity etc.

My wali said he refused to look at the (polygamous) schedule that Alex and Carolinah had prepared.  He advised Alex that there are only two holidays in Islam, which are the Eids.  He said nothing should alter the three day schedule (three days with Carolinah and three days with me) other than vacations.  He should schedule nothing else for a celebration.

He advised Alex to schedule an equal number of vacation days for Carolinah and me.  He said no makeup days would be necessary.  He should allow no makeup days.  My wali advised Alex that the Quran is our criteria with which to judge (for instance, he shouldn’t allow Carolinah to send him home to me when she gets angry with him).

I advised my wali that I wanted a fresh start with the schedule. I advised him to let Carolinah keep the days (the Fourth of July weekend days that were mine).  She would have twelve consecutive days with Alex. I agreed the two makeup days that she scheduled to use for her anniversary in December would stay in effect.

My wali telephoned Alex and advised him of the schedule resolution.  I thought we had resolved the matter, finally, once and for all.

Alex telephoned me on his way home from work. He asked if I had received the email from him. I said, “Yes” and I basically asked, what is left to talk about? We had worked out the schedule. He said, “No.” He said Carolinah did not like that we attached her three makeup days to her vacation.

Yes. My freak was on. My blood pressure began to boil. My voice rose from loud talk to yelling and yelling turned to… Of course he hung up and of course I kept calling back until I went into voice mail…the story of my life. What happened to our fresh start?

Alex arrived home and the intense arguing continued into the night. I asked Alex why the schedule was an issue again, as he and my wali had resolved the matter.  He said Carolinah wanted to choose her days. I said her makeup days were from 1 year and 8 months ago. (Yes. He was away on business for a year but… ) She had eight months to make up those old days. He said he kept asking her when she wanted to make up the days and she wouldn’t tell him. Alex and I continued to argue for hours off and on.

I got very tired and asked him when she wanted the three days. He said she wanted Nov. 30th, Dec. 1 and 2, 2009. I totally lost it again. I said now I have to wait around until the end of the year with these days hanging over my head. I was so frustrated and exhausted I told him to go ahead and schedule the days.

I went and showered. While showering, I remembered all the advice and suggestions everyone had given me on the blog. “Be firm.” “Stick to your guns.” I got out the shower and said to Alex, no way. I wasn’t going with it. The only time we argued usually was about the schedule, Carolinah making changes to it to suit her work schedule etc and I wasn’t going to let it happen anymore.

I advised Alex that I wanted a fresh start, as he and my wali had agreed. I asked why Carolinah was waiting till the end of the year to take her makeup days. He said she had scheduled vacation for around that time, as well. I knew she was manipulating the schedule once again. She’d schedule the makeup days now, but a couple of weeks or so before the makeup days (Nov. 30th, Dec. 1 and 2, 2009),  Alex would tell me that she had vacation days schedule around the same time period, as well. So she’d have makeup days on top of vacation days.

She was sneaky and sly. She had done the same thing with the Fourth of July weekend schedule. On January 1, 2009, Alex told me about Carolinah’s makeup days for July 1, 2, and 3, knowing she planned July 4 etc. for vacation. She kept her July vacation secret until a month before, at which time she attached makeup days with vacation (taking my Fourth of July weekend).

Anyhow, I wasn’t going for it this time. I was furious. I didn’t sleep in the bed with Alex that night.

Once and for all we resolved the conflict over our polygamous marriage schedule. So I hope. After a night of intense arguing and sleeping apart from Alex, he emailed me from work the next day. In the email,  he asked me to send him the dates that we had before agreed upon. He said he was putting together a new schedule, and wanted to make sure it was correct.

I telephoned Alex. He said adding days to Carolinah’s vacation was now OK. He stated her 2nd seven days of vacation would be Nov. 30-Dec. 6, 2009. She would keep the two makeup days that she had scheduled before for his and her anniversary in Dec. 2009, as well. He said he and I would schedule our 2nd vacation for this year for Sept. or Oct. 2009.  All the previous makeup days owed Carolinah were now reasonably scheduled. So the agreement that Alex and my wali had previously made was left in tacked.

I advised Alex that I was typing up the contract. I said I was putting it in writing so he, Carolinah and I would have no questions in the future about how the schedule works.

I advised Alex the schedule was simple: Three days with Carolinah and three days with me. She and I would each get fourteen days of vacation with him each year. There would be no makeup days, no days for holidays, anniversaries, birthdays, deaths, births, or anything. We could gift days with no makeups, as gifting days is acceptable in Islam. We each would give up days that couldn’t be used.

I advised Alex to confirm all the above with Carolinah, as I don’t want to discuss it with him again. He agreed to consult with her. He thanked me for encouraging him to consult with her, as well.

The polygamous schedule conflict was over. What a relief. There is no foreseeable way Carolinah or I could manipulate the schedule now. Only Alex could manipulate the schedule when scheduling his work (business trips) into it. Insha Allah, I’m not going to worry about that.

Alex came home that evening with the new, revised, and agreed upon schedule. He had fresh red roses with him for me, as well. It was nice!

Mutual consultation in Alex and my polygamous marriage has been a  topics my wali and Alex discussed and Alex and I have discussed. The biggest problem in Alex and my marriage arose when he failed to consult with me about taking a second wife. Alex made up his mind he was going to engage in polygamy without considering me and how I felt about it. I still haven’t recovered from it.

Now, It has happened again.  He didn’t consult with me once again. Alex advised me he was going to need minor surgery. It was nothing serious. It was an outpatient procedure. I asked him when he would schedule it. He said he gave the doctor some dates that he’d be available.

A couple of days later Alex and I arrived home separately, at the same time. I walked him inside while he was on the telephone. He was talking with his mother, and was acting peculiar like I wasn’t supposed to hear the conversation. Later when we entered the house, his relative (step son from his first marriage, now ex-wife) returned Alex’s phone call. Alex advised him that he was going to have surgery on June 30th.

Once Alex got off the phone, I asked him if he had scheduled the surgery. He said, yes, for June 30th. He immediately said his stepson was going to pick him up afterwards. I was fuming, burning up. I asked, “Well just when were you going to let me know? I’m your wife.” I said, “Your mother knows. Your work knows. Your step children know. I’m sure Carolinah knows. Just when was I supposed to know?”

Alex had scheduled the surgery for Carolinah’s day. He would begin his vacation with her then. I’m assuming Carolinah will drop Alex off at the hospital and Alex’s stepson would take him back to Carolinah’s house after the surgery. Where do I fit in or am I supposed to? What, was I supposed to wait until Alex returned home after 13 days of being with Carolinah and find out he had surgery? Or did Alex expect me to sneak into the hospital like some ho (whore) to visit him for his surgery and then go home.

I was furious. How could Alex make all those plans for his surgery, and include all those persons in the plans, and not include me, not even discuss it with me? I told Alex mutual consultation means I am the first person that is to know. I said, “I am your wife. I know before your mother knows, before your job knows, and before your stepson knows.” I advised him that I am to take part in selecting the date he has surgery, the details of where he would recuperate, and his transportation etc. He and I should discuss it all.

I explained to Alex what mutual consultation was, and advised him to stop delivering information to me and start discussing matters with me. I advised Alex that until he gets it in his head and figure out what “mutual consultation” in affairs means, he better stay the #uck away from me. My blood pressure was so high. I checked the mirror in the bathroom and my face and upper chest were so red. My chest was in a rash from the anxiety of it all.

I don’t know the details of the surgery and I refuse to ask. It appears he’ll have the surgery in my absence. If I can’t go respectfully with him as his wife, I won’t go at all.

This is an open house. No need to knock. Just come on in.