“RAWANG: Sex lessons to help wives “serve their husbands better than a first-class prostitute” will be among the classes provided by the Obedient Wives Club (OWC) to help promote harmonious marriages and counter social ills.
Muhammad Al-Ghamdi says that he was happily married to his first wife, who bore him three sons. When household duties became too much for her, she asked Muhammad to hire a maid. The maid was a pretty Indonesian Muslim who was well treated by the wife until Muhammad began to show too much interest in her. Things got so bad that one day the wife began to beat the maid.
“Court ‘upholds’ tent blaze death”
I was contacted by an individual who is seeking participants for a new television series that will explore polygamy. If you are interested, the information for you is as follows:
“BANGI, July 15 — A study on polygamy, which is allowed only for Muslims here, showed that 44 per cent of first wives are forced to find extra work after their husbands take on a second wife.The study by non-governmental organisation Sisters in Islam (SIS) and the Institute of Malaysian and International Studies (Ikmas) of the National University of Malaysia (UKM) surveyed some 1,200 participants from polygamous families throughout peninsular Malaysia since 2008.
“The husband’s contribution to his first wife’s family decreased after his second marriage,” said SIS senior research officer Adibah Mohd. Jodi.
“About 44 per cent of first wives have to take on extra work after their husbands take on a second wife,” she added.
Centre of Research on Women’s Development (Kanita), University of Science Malaysia (USM) director Rashidah Shuib said that many first wives are unable to get financial aid from the government as they are told to rely on their husbands.
The debut study also revealed that only 28 per cent of first wives and 47 per cent of second wives were satisfied with their husbands’ method of alternating nights between them.
“The system of the husband taking turns (between his wives) is not discussed and it is as if the husband has unilateral power (in this matter),” said Rashidah, who is one of the lead researchers.
“How does the court then evaluate the husband’s ability to be fair?” she asked.
According to Syariah law, husbands need to fulfil either criterion of “fair” or “necessary” before he is allowed to marry another woman.
“Husbands find that spending time equally with his family members is very difficult compared to other factors like spreading finances, communication or affection equally,” added Rashidah.
The study also showed that 70 per cent of first wives cited a need for more counselling after their husbands’ second marriage, while about 53 per cent of them cited an increase in domestic violence.
“Most first wives isolate themselves and turn to their children for support instead. Where do these children then turn to?” asked Rashidah.
Rashidah also criticised the syariah court’s removal of the fifth condition for polygamy which states that there is to be no decrease in quality of life, saying “this condition can never be fulfilled.”
“First wives are the most dissatisfied (parties) in almost all aspects, such as time, emotion, resources and communication (with their husbands),” she said.
When asked why majority of children of either the first or second wife remarked that they “did not care” about being in a polygamous family, head researcher Norani Othman said that their lax attitude could be a psychological defence mechanism.
Majority of the research participants were from Kelantan, Terengganu and Pahang as they were more open to answering surveys than their urban counterparts in Selangor and Wilayah Persekutuan, added Norani.
About 47 per cent of husbands and 35 per cent of second wives surveyed were either self-employed or blue collar workers, while about 52 per cent of first wives were homemakers.
“Academics tried to apply for funds (for this project), but they were all rejected by the Ministry of Higher Education,” said Norani.
“This study (on polygamy) is the first in this country or even outside. (Before this), there were only two small studies on polygamy done in Saudi Arabia in 2001 and Indonesia in 2009,” she added.”
“Chatelaine”, one of our dear commentators here at polygamy 411 brought this article to the attention of polygamy 411, thus we posted it for all to read. Thank you “Chatelaine.”
This is an open house no need to knock. Just come on in.
Credit for the above article: The Malaysian Insider, July 17, 2010, by Boo Su-Lyn, July 15, 2010
ΚΟΥΒΕΪΤ: Fatima, στα μέσα του forties της είναι μητέρα τριών γιων, οι οποίοι είναι όλοι ενήλικες τώρα. Fatima παντρεύτηκε με τον πατέρα των παιδιών της όταν ήταν γύρω στα είκοσι της. Είχαν ασταθή έγγαμου βίου; Ο σύζυγός της παντρεύτηκε μια δεύτερη δεκαετία γυναίκα στο γάμο τους και έρημες της για πάνω από ένα χρόνο. Στη συνέχεια, αποφάσισε τελικά να το διαζύγιό της μετά από τη στιγμή που άρχισε να ζει με την πραγματικότητα ότι ήταν παντρεμένος με μια άλλη γυναίκα.