Hola a todos!
por ana en Apr.25, 2009, durante el mi viaje
Para proteger la verdadera identidad de las partes y ser fiel a las experiencias de mi vida, los nombres de los personajes aquí (en la poligamia 411) son ficticios; sin embargo, mi situación, circunstancias, y las experiencias son reales.
Estoy Anabellah. Usted puede llamar Ana me. He estado en un matrimonio polígamo, a que se refiere por muchos como la poliginia, por sólo un poco más de dos años. El nombre de mi marido es Alex. Él “married” Carolinah (Villancico) durante el matrimonio para mí.&nbscasadoso “married” de las cotizaciones, simplemente porque no estaba en la ceremonia de boda de Alex y de Carolinah. No hablé con nadie que asistieron a la ceremonia, ni yo miraba toda la documentación de la misma. Tengo que aceptar la palabra de Alex que seCarolinahcido. Alex, Carolinah, y yo vivo la poligamia, que es lícito para mí, como musulmán, para todas las intenciones y propósitos.
Pido perdón de Dios para cualquier cosa que yo pueda decir o han dicho aquí en la poligamia 411 que involuntariamente, o de alguna manera engañar a los demás. Mi intención aquí en la poligamia 411 es ayudar a otros para hacer frente a una forma de vida (poligamia) que es bueno para mí y al mismo tiempo que lo he encontrado es extremadamente difícil.
Me gustaría compartir con ustedes aquí en la poligamia 411 mi viaje y respuesta muchas de sus preguntas, la forma más honesta y rápidamente como sea posible. In sha Allah, usted va a compartir algunos de sus sentimientos, pensamientos, y experiencias conmigo y con otros, así.
Quiero recordar que Dios hizo lícito para un hombre tener más de una mujer en el Islam. Así que, Por favor tenga en cuenta la poligamia 411 no es un blog ataques a la poligamia. No quiero hacer ilegal lo que Alá ha declarado lícito. Esto ha sido parte de mi lucha, mientras lucha con la verdad y mis deseos personales.
En la poligamia 411, No, no se puede, y no decirle a nadie cómo practicar la poligamia, ni daré consejo sobre si es adecuado para usted. Sólo puedo compartir con ustedes lo que he experimentado, aprendí sobre mí mismo, y aprendido de los demás.
Loado sea Alá.
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Como Alaikum Salamu!
Bienvenido a la poligamia 411! Nuestra casa es para los musulmanes y no musulmanes. Es para todo aquel que quiere hablar de la poligamia, o cualquier persona que se encuentra en un matrimonio polígamo o está considerando entrar en un. Nos gusta tener compañía. Póngase cómodo y unirse a la discusión dejando un comentario. Esperamos contar con su presencia una vez más pronto y con frecuencia.
viaje 4 menos!
March 2nd, 2009 en 8:41 PM
As salaamu Alaikum,
I have been married just shy of seven years. My husband married another woman, besides me, just a little over two years ago. I am finally beginning to be at peace with it, and actually feel very happy. That’s weird; I can smile now while writing about it instead of crying. It was a tough road and I felt like I wasn’t going to finish the journey.
We all have a tendency to place blame and rationalize why we don’t like something. The main reason we reject polygamy is because it goes against our personal desires. Después de todo, who wants to share love, especially a husband – unless we’re just tired of him, therefore encourage him to take another wife. If that is the case, polygamy probably wasn’t our test; something else was.
De todos modos, I’m blogging about polygamy, as I now feel I can be a whole lot more objective about it. I thank Allah SWT much for it, as He has allowed me to see my many faults, my shortcomings, and my weakness in my Faith. It has made me a better person. In sha Allah, it will help me get into Paradise.
Esta es una casa abierta. No hay necesidad de tocar. Sólo ven en.
March 3rd, 2009 en 11:55 AM
Como Alaikum Salamu,
I contemplated divorcing Alex so many times after he married Carolinah. Sin embargo, after giving it much thought, I said I was not going to give her the satisfaction of prevailing. I said I was going to win because, besides having the husband that Allah SWT has chosen for me, I would be victorious over Satan. Satan wants me to be ungrateful to Allah SWT.
Do we feel at times we would rather have no one than to share? Do we ask ourselves questions like, “Why should I have to share?” or do we say, “Not me, I’m not going to do that.” Do we sometimes become arrogant like Iblis, and let that attitude influence our feelings about polygamy?
September 9th, 2009 en 11:57 AM
As salaamu alaikum wa rahamtullah… my dearest sister in Islaam. I am seriously struggling with this very trial as I type. My husband is intended to a sister now and I feel like I’m losing it. It consumes me constantly. I barely eat to a point where I have lost almost 30lbs in a few short months. Everyone arounds me says I look sickly and like I have suffered a major loss. To be honest this is exactly how I feel. Financially our sitution is not very good. Emotionally our marriage is unstable. I don’t want to leave my husband either even though I asked him to choose between the two. I don’t want to drive him from me I just want him to see and understand what I’m feeling and going through. Help me please!!
September 9th, 2009 en 10:31 PM
Umm Mahmood, As Salaamu Alaikum wa rahamtuallah. I truly know the severe hurt and pain that you are suffering, as I have lived it myself. It is agonizing more than anyone can imagine without having gone through it. The significant weight loss in a few short months, and feeling constantly consumed by all that is happening to you, as your husband prepares to take another wife, if it pleases Allah SWT, are too well known to me. What you must understand is that what you are feeling is “normal”, are the usual feelings that many sisters have experienced that are in Islamic polygamous marriages. You could read many comments on the blog here and learn that you are not alone in your feelings. Perhaps many others will come forward as well so you could hear from them about their experiences.
You say you feel like you have suffered a major loss. From what I have read from other sources, and have learned here on the blog from many, what you’re feeling is real. If your husband takes another wife, you will leave behind something, whether it will be your husband all together or you will no longer have your husband all to yourself anymore. De cualquier manera, there will be a loss as you divorce or transition from monogamy to polygamy, leaving monogamy behind. I’ve heard it referred to by some that the change in your marriage is like a death of it, el matrimonio. I suppose that is why we grieve the way that we do. We go through the same stages in our transition from monogamy to polygamy as we do when we loose a loved one to death. We experience anger, sadness, denial, depression and much more, por ejemplo.
The important thing for you to do is try to hold on and be strong as best you can. Turn all your attention to Allah SWT and try to remember Him, as best you can. It is important that you try to stay focused (on Allah and your trial) now at a time when it is so terribly difficult to think of anything other than your crisis situation. The important thing for you to do, as much as you can, is try to take good care of you.
You said you want your husband to understand what you are feeling and going through. I don’t really know if he can. Again I ask the question how a husband can cause his wife so much hurt and pain by taking another wife and still say he loves her. But apparently it is possible. I wouldn’t expect to get many answers from him, if I were you. Your marriage is bound to continue to be unstable for a while, but you must put your faith and trust in Allah that with hardship comes ease and things will get better if you decide to stay.
You should take into consideration that your husband probably loves you just as much as he always has, and that taking another wife does not diminish his love for you. I don’t think it would be that easy for your husband to chose between you and his new intended, otherwise he would have divorced you, if the decision was that easy for him.
You must try not to blame yourself for your husband’s decision to take another wife, although it will be difficult not to. The blame part is a stage as well. You are not to blame for his decision. You must remember that. I still, 2 years and nine months later, play the blame game with myself, and have to squash it.
You’re going to be alright sister. We all are here for you!
Esta es una casa abierta. No hay necesidad de tocar. Sólo ven en.