There are Muslim men who marry women (1st, 2nd, 3rd or 4th)because the men and the women believe that the marriage will enrich the lives of both of the spouses. The new wife will have some of her wants and needs fulfilled and the new husband will have some of his wants and needs fulfilled.
Three examples. There is a rich Muslim sister of good character. There is a Muslim brother of good character who has a project that he is working on to benefit the Muslim community and society in general. If he marries the Muslim sister she may help to fund his project. (A wife is more likely to help her husband’s project than someone else’s).
Example#2 A Muslim sister is fluent in Qur’aan and Arabic and is knowledgeable in Islamic Studies. She has to work at another type of job to take care of herself financially. A Muslim brother of good character marries her and frees her up to teach Qur’aan, Arabic and Islamic Studies to the children or women of the community.
Example#3 There is a Muslim sister who found out at a young age that she could not bear children due to a major issue with her reproductive system. She lives in a society (and most societies are like this) where the majority of men want to have their own biological children. Each time when she has had marriage prospects, they went away when they found out that she was unable to bear children. A Muslim brother who does not want any (or any more) children may marry her and they will be perfectly happy. They are both of good Islamic character.
These are win/win situations for the husband and the wife. All marriages are not based on lust. Some Muslim men of good character do marry 2nd, 3rd and 4th wives and everyone is content. I know it does not happen often, but it does happen.
Remember, there are some Muslim women who want to be in a polygynous marriage. Their career does not leave a great deal of time for family life; they have been married several times before and are very independent; they are older and past childbearing age and want a husband for the companionship; they are widowed after being married a long time and love being married; they just don’t want a fulltime husband.
There is never one scenario for any type of marriage or relationship. Let’s just make du’ah that all of us find the sakeenah (tranquility) in our marriage or in our singlehood.
Article written by: ummof4, one of our blog sisters at polygamy 411
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