Poligamija 411

Thirty-two-year-old Hagar Gouda is a divorcée. Married in her mid-twenties, she gave birth to a baby boy and divorced her husband three years later. She has spent the past six years raising her son and looking for a husband. Dosada, she has not found a man she likes well enough who is willing to help raise her son.

A potential solution is for her to enter into a misyar (traveler’s) brak: a marriage which would allow her to spend as much time as she wants with her son in her home. The catch? Her new husband would not be obligated to buy her an apartment, nor live with her or spend money on her. Her answer: “Over my dead body.”

In mid April, headlines such as “Dar Al-Ifta Legalizes Prostitution” and “Misyar: Prostitution with Another Name” were everywhere, with local newspapers furiously editorializing on a supposedly new fatwa (religious edict) saying misyar marriages were sanctioned by Islam.

Misyar Matchmaking

Sunni Islam has always been adamant in its refusal to recognize mut’a (pleasure) marriages—a marriage with a specified end date, often entered into by couples with motives more temporary than setting up a home and bringing up children. Recognized as legal by the Shi’a sect of Islam, it is a type of marriage that is often exploited by men who ‘buy’ wives for a short duration of time. Unlike misyar marriages, a mut’a marriage needs no witnesses and no guardian.

A misyar marriage, on the other hand, seemingly strips women of even more rights. Rather than getting money from a short-term marriage, the wife gets absolutely nothing in terms of finances. She willingly gives up her right to live with her husband, her right to housing, and her right to nafaqa, a woman’s Islamic right to have her husband pay for her living and maintenance costs.

According to Dr. Ibrahim Negm, media spokesperson and advisor to Grand Mufti of Egypt Aly Gomaa’, Dar Al-Ifta did not issue a fatwa in April. What happened was that a reporter unearthed a reference to misyar in a list of decrees published last year by Al Azhar’s Islamic Research Academy, the highest Islamic authority in the nation.

The decree in question (Decree no. 218 of April 2007) listed types of marriage that are both Islamic as well as legal and those that are not — such as mut’a, boyfriend-girlfriend, and partner swapping. Number four on the list deals with misyar:

“It is the marriage which fulfills the pillars and conditions of Shariah [Islamic law], and has been recorded as an official document through a specialist intermediary. The summary of the matter is that the issue decided upon — in the contract or otherwise — is that the husband does not live with the wife, but visits her when he gets the opportunity. And it is a marriage built on all Shariah expectations [of marriage], except what the wife agrees to give up.”

There are four requirements for a marriage to be legal in Islam: consent of both parties, mahr (a gift from the groom to the bride), presence of two witnesses, and that it is made public. Povijesno, misyar was considered an option when the man traveled extensively and so could not live with his wife or had absolutely no financial means to give her a home.

An internet search turns up at least six online misyar matchmakers, with Msyaronline.com one of the largest in terms of members. Representatives from Msyaronline did not respond to interview requests, but the website offers four reasons promoting this type of marriage: “an increase in the number of spinsters and widows and those of special circumstances; the refusal of women to have a co-wife, leading men to marry the misyar way so his first wife doesn’t find out; the desire of unmarried men to get halal pleasure reconcilable with his circumstances; and the escape of some from the responsibilities of marriage and its costs, and this way is present [largely] in young men looking for this kind of marriage.”

Alexa.com, which tracks website traffic, ranks Msyaronline number 11,550 among the most-visited sites in the world, based on a three-month average. To put that into context, at press time, AhlyEgypt.com ranked number 9,056 and AmrKhaled.net ranked 6,851. Oprah Winfrey’s website ranked 1,579.

More than half of Msyaronline’s visitors come from just two countries: 32.6 percent of visitors are from Saudi Arabia, where it is ranked 441 on the list of most visited sites, while 24.9 percent are from Egypt, where it ranked 612. No more than 5 percent of its visitors come from any other country.

In Islam — according to Sunni scholars — a misyar contract is permissible because it follows all the conditions for marriage. Međutim, says Negm, “a fatwa or decree on the validity of the misyar contract doesn’t mean [Dar Al-Ifta or the Islamic Research Academy] is advocating this type of marriage or that we are presenting it as a way to solve marriage problems in our society. It is not a license to marry this way.”

Many Islamic scholars have actually disallowed the practice of misyar marriage because of its perceived adverse effect on women, families, and societies at large.

Marriage on the Cheap

The proponents of misyar usually offer three reasons why it should be allowed: it allows couples with limited economic means to marry, it is a viable solution for spinsters or divorced women with limited marriage options or those of financial means who do not want a ‘full-time’ husband, and because a woman’s renunciation of her financial rights is only a moral and not a legal commitment, she can change her mind at any time.

Međutim, even Msyaronline admits on the website that misyar marriage is not the “ideal desired picture of marriage, though it is legally correct.”

Costs of marriage, admit misyar opponents, are indeed high. U Saudijskoj Arabiji, dowries — the sum of money given to women by their fiancées — are so exorbitant that a group of young Saudi men launched a nationwide “Let her become a spinster campaign” this year, boycotting marriage because of the high costs. An average Saudi woman, says an article in the country’s Arab News, usually demands a dowry in the range of SR 50,000 (LE 75,000).

In April 2006, Saudi Arabia’s Islamic Fiqh Academy issued a fatwa saying that misyar was legal and valid. Arab News conducted an informal survey of 30 Saudi men and women regarding misyar: 60 percent of the men surveyed said they would consider misyar for themselves, while 86 percent of the women said they would not consider it. Only four women — all in the over-40 category — said they would.

Ma’aly Al-Faqih, a 29-year-old Saudi woman, believes misyar only compounds problems for Saudi women. “We already have a problem with polygamy because so many men can afford to have a second wife,” says Al-Faqih, a dentist and a TV presenter on a show called Hewar Melawen (Colored Dialogue). “But with misyar, so many more men would re-marry because it’s cheap to do so — they won’t have any financial rights or obligations! — and there’s less chance of their first wives finding out. But there are so many other problems to consider. What if the misyar wife gets pregnant?"

In Egypt, urfi marriage — where a couple signs a secret, unregistered marriage contract — is already stigmatized as a sex license for men who can easily ‘quit’ the marriage with few consequences. The Islamic Research Academy decree lists urfi as haram. Some see misyar as more of the same — a way to shirk responsibilities.

“It’s a great idea,” laughs 42-year-old shoe-shiner Khalid Abdel-Rahman. “It’s like being married without being married. Why would any man choose the hassle of financial burden when they can marry for free?"

No True Choice

That is partly what the Egyptian Center for Women’s Rights (ECWR) fears. In a mid-April press release responding to the news that misyar was halal, the center states: “[Misyar] erodes family values by encouraging infidelity and immorality and facilitates multiple marriages built on secrecy and lies. [To] will lead to a deterioration of the family by opening the door to second marriages dissociated from the structure of the family. Dodatno, these marriages are detached from the personal, financial and family duties of both parties and are at the expense of the stability of the first/previous family.”

But what about all the spinsters, ask misyar advocates, who would be marrying of their own free will? According to government statistics, there are currently 9–10 million unmarried women in Egypt over the age of 30.

Not one woman interviewed by Egypt Today was go on record in favor of misyar — perhaps not surprising, given the social stigma attached to it — although one said she would consider it. Thirty-four-year-old beautician Amina, who asked that her real name not be used, says that after her father passed away, she spent her twenties taking care of her four brothers and sisters, unable to leave home. “I’m very old and I’m poor and I’m not beautiful. I haven’t received a suitor in three years. I do want a normal marriage and children, but I don’t think it’s going to happen,” she says. “If a good man offers to marry me the misyar way, I might say yes.”

To get people to register with the website, Misyaronline’s homepage lists screen names and personal ads for 10 women and 10 men who recently signed up. The full database is only available to registered users. According to the posts, the women, who were between 22 i 48 godina star, were from Saudi Arabia, Egipat, Morocco and other countries. Among the new additions was ‘Eman,’ a 48-year-old Egyptian widow with older children who is looking for a “respectable man, knowledgeable, who can spend luxuriously on his wife and has a strong personality.”

Alwaleed Adel, owner and founder of Universal Marriage Office, the only marriage counseling and matchmaking office registered with the Ministry of Social Solidarity, rejects the idea of misyar. “It exploits women and it’s naive to say they are choosing this out of choice. Removing her options and saying she chose is no option. [] I bet you very few unmarried, childless women would choose misyar by choice. [] Misyar is a male convenience in a male-dominated country.”

The fear is that, in a country that puts a severe stigma on being unmarried, women who have not married by a certain age would agree to a misyar marriage even though they may have wanted a normal one, says Adel. They would agree to it even though misyar carries the stigma of being a lust-based alliance, tainting a woman’s reputation since it is believed that “she is giving herself away for free, marrying to have sex.”

Yomna Mokhtar, journalist and founder of “Spinsters for Change,” an informal Egyptian group that wants to change the negative attitude about unmarried women, believes this type of marriage is “a balwa soda [a horrible burden].” Unmarried at 27, she says that the pressures to marry are not enough to coerce her into a misyar marriage, ever. “It basically means marriage is only about a sexual relationship — this is what it has been reduced to,” she says. “There is no living together, no affection, no family, no kids, no security. I don’t even recognize this as marriage; if it becomes normal it will ruin the cornerstone of society — the family.”

Adel adds, “The nucleus and brain cell of any society is family and it is already problematic in Egypt. It’s hard enough to force neglectful fathers in normal marriages to fulfill their rights, what will happen to any children born from a misyar marriage?"

The Universal Marriage Office founder, who also has a TV show and appears on the radio once a week to talk about the family, conducted a study in March 2009, surveying 500 random young men ages 25–35 who had never been married. Adel found that 18.7 percent of them said they were not married because of the new updates in the family law that demand too much of them financially — alimony, maintenance, custody etc.

He also quoted a statistic saying the average age of marriage has increased by 50 percent for women and 38 percent for men in one generation.

Ghada El-Bedawi, one of the founding members of Mawada, a non-profit organization that gives courses to young couples beginning their married lives, agrees. “Marriage should be more than this,” she says. “It should be to build a home and generations. Misyar marriage is even worse than mut’a because at least in mut’a we admit it’s just about sex. Misyar tries to pass itself off as respectable. How will sons born of this marriage be raised as responsible, hardworking men who will raise a family? [How will girls] respect themselves as worthy of more than what their mothers settled for?"

In the end, many scholars agree that although misyar sticks to the letter of Islamic law, it does not stick to the spirit of the religion. Islam considers marriage a mithaq, a solemn covenant that should not be undertaken lightly. Negm says that even though the Grand Mufti and the Islamic Research Academy have said that misyar is technically permissible, “it does not mean that we advise the youth to practice it. [] This is an issue where we must open the door to discussion to the sheikhs to discuss the social and human dimensions of its [application]. And only then [can we] release a general fatwa saying whether [misyar] is a potential substitute or solution to problems like lack of housing and spinsterhood, or that it results in bad consequences to the society and family.” Et

Kredit za gore navedene informacije: By Ethar El-Katatney-Egypt Today, Studenog 2009, volume 30, issue 11,

Ebu Bekr el-Gendy, ravnatelj središnjeg tijela za javnu mobilizaciju i statistiku, objavljen na konferenciji za novinare jučer da je brak ugovora postignut 660,100 vrijeme 2008, a 7.4 posto porast u odnosu na prethodnu godinu

El-Gendy rekao da je brak stope u ruralnim područjima u sastavu 67.3 posto ukupnog, u odnosu na 32.7 posto u urbanim područjima, uz napomenu da je broj nevjenčanih odraslih egipatskih postignut 13.3 million, prema 2006 popis. Od 13 million, 7.6 milmilijuna kunau muška i 5.7 su ženska.

El-Gendy dodao da su postojale 84,400 tijekom razvoda 2008, povećanje 8.4 per cent over the previous year. Postojale su 44,500 razvod slučajeva u urbanim područjima, u odnosu na ruralna područja gdje je bilo 39,800 tisuće.

Port Said Governorate je najveći broj bračnih ugovora, zastupanje 14 per 1000 Egipatski brakova. Giza je došao u zadnji, s udjelom od 3.1 per 1000 brakova u zemlji. Port Said je također na vrhu popisa s razvodom stope 3.6 per 1000, s Giza ponovno u posljednja poredaj po .naer 1000.

El-Gendy rekao je da najveći postotak među ljudima brak je između 25 i 30. Ovaj raspon dobi zabilježena 265,000 brak ugovori, 40.2 posto ukupnih nacionalnih. Najniža stopa sklapanja braka je bio među osobama starijim od 65.

On je dodao da je najviše razvoda omjer kod muškaraca je u dobnoj skupini od 25 and 30, i ženke između 20 andi.

Autor: Egipat Vijesti, Nedjelja, 11 Listopada 2009

Ovdje je jedna poznata medicinska istraživanja članak na mnogoženstvo, napisao Alean Al – Krenawi, Dr. sc., dobro poštovani muslimanski mentalnog zdravlja stručnjaka koji je posvetio svoj kliničkoj praksi se studija utjecaja na mnogoženstvo žene i djecu.

Usporedba funkcioniranju obitelji, Život i bračno zadovoljstvo, i mentalno zdravlje žena u poligamni i monogamni Brakovi

Alean Al-Krenawi
Ben-Gurion

Ivan R. Graham
Sveučilišta u Calgaryju, Calgary, Kanada

Pozadina: Znatan broju istraživanja zaključuje da poligamni struktura obitelji utječe na djecu i žene 'psihološku, socijalnog i obiteljskog funkcioniranja.

Ciljevi: Ova studija je među prvima u obzir unutar iste ethnoracial zajednici kao bitnih čimbenika u funkcioniranju obitelji, zadovoljstvo životom, bračnog zadovoljstva i mentalnog zdravlja funkcioniranja kod žena koje su u poligamni brakovi i žena koji su u monogamni brakova.

Način: Uzorku od 352 žena sudjelovala u ovoj studiji: 235 (67%) su u monogamni brak i 117 (33%) su u poligamni brak.

Rezultati: Nalazi otkrivaju razlike između žena i poligamni brakovi monogamni. Žene u poligamni brakovi su pokazali značajno više psihološkog distresa, i visokog nivoa somatisation, fobije i drugih psiholoških problema. Također su imali znatno više problema u funkcioniranju obitelji, bračnog odnosa i zadovoljstvo životom.

Zaključak: U članku poziva na javnu politiku i socijalne usluge osoblje za povećanje javne svijesti o važnosti poligamni obiteljske strukture za dobrobit žena.

International Journal of Social Psychiatry, Let. 52, Na. 1, 5-17 (2006)

RAWANG, Studenog 14 — Don’t marry young virgin girls; marry single mothers or widows instead. This was a suggestion made recently by a Kelantan state official to would-be polygamists.

But the idea drew flak from some critics, who said instead that more efforts should be made to reduce divorce rates and assist single mothers.

The issue of polygamy is being hotly debated now, with the controversial Kelantan official’s suggestion and the emergence of a Polygamy Club founded in August by the wife of a polygamist.

Hatijah Aam, 55, said she started the club with the aim of curbing social ills such as prostitution and adultery. It has 300 Članovi.

“After sharing the same man for 30 godina, we are like sisters,” Hatijah told The Straits Times. Sitting beside her, Noraziah Ibrahim, 52, the younger wife of Hatijah’s husband, smiled.

Noraziah met Hatijah’s husband after her own partner had died.

“She had children to feed. Can you imagine? She needed help,” said Hatijah.

The two are married to 72-year-old Ashaari Muhammad, patriarch of a clan spawned from five marriages — he has since divorced one wife, while another died in a car accident while on a pilgrimage to the holy city of Mecca in 2003.

Of his 38 djecu, 19 sons and four daughters are also polygamists. Ashaari has 200 grandchildren and 12 great-grandchildren.

“Some people think polygamy is bad, but it is actually a beautiful thing,” said Hatijah.

Most Malaysians remember Ashaari as having led a deviant Islamic sect that was banned in 1994 because of his claims that he was able to absolve sins, and that an Islamic messiah from the east would appear ahead of a prophesied doomsday.

Ashaari suffered a stroke in 2003, and is now unable to speak. His third wife was not present at the interview as she was tending to him.

The family’s story is just one example of polygamous marriages in Malaysia.

Muslim men are allowed up to four wives under Islamic law. Critics say the practice is cruel and has been distorted from its original purpose.

The practice was prevalent during Prophet Muhammad’s era to provide for the many widows and orphans, as a consequence of men dying in frequent wars.

Activists say most modern polygamists in Malaysia marry younger women and neglect their first wives.

While Hatijah’s family seems to be living harmoniously, rights groups argue that most polygamous families suffer abuse and jealousy.

Sestre u islamu (SIS), a non-governmental organisation which upholds the rights of Muslim women and campaigns against the practice, says polygamy is not a solution to prostitution.

“Marriage — whether polygamous or not — cannot be a cure-all for an issue as complex as sex work,” SIS programme manager Masjaliza Hamzah told The Straits Times.

“Society should stop seeing marriage as the one-stop answer to the issues and concerns faced not only by women sex workers, but also single mothers, widows and older women.”

She quoted verses from the Quran which discourage polygamy, and pointed out that although Prophet Muhammad practised it, he did not allow his son-in-law to marry another woman unless he divorced the Prophet’s daughter.

Only 2.8 per cent of Muslim marriages here are polygamous.

Different states also have varying criteria for would-be polygamists.

Kuala Lumpur requires a written consent or views from existing wives. In Perak, a man’s promise to treat wives fairly is sufficient.

Hanafiah Hamzah, a 53-year-old television cameraman, said strangers look down on him for having more than one wife. “Society looks down on polygamists. People always think it is for the sex,” he told The Straits Times.

Hanafiah married his first wife, who is now 47, two decades ago. Seven years later, he married his second wife, sada 36.

While both wives are cordial to each other, he admits it is not easy.

“You cannot be fair to both of them. If a wife or a child is sick, who do you go to?

“If my friends say they want to be polygamous, I always tell them, you better not. My first wife never used to complain, but now she gets frustrated easily. It is my mistake,"Rekao je.

Masjaliza said there is some stigma attached to the practice: “People don’t wear it like a badge of honour. There is a level of discomfort. Maybe people are ashamed.”

Doista, while some top leaders in the ruling Umno and the opposition PAS have more than one wife, most of them attend official functions accompanied by only one wife.

But this is not deterring Hatijah, who is branching out Polygamy Club to Indonesia.

The government has warned that the club could be a ploy.

The family has been ‘trying very hard to deceive the public’ into reviving the banned religious cult through religious, business and social activities, Wan Mohamad Sheikh Abdul Aziz, director-general of the Department of Islamic Development Malaysia, told the New Straits Times. — Straits Times

Kredit za gore navedene informacije: The Malaysian Insider, Četvrtak, Studenog 19, 2009

Jakarta, 2 Studenog. (AKI) – Indonesian pro-polygamy groups are not only facing protest from angry housewives and women’s rights activists; a new group of men calling themselves the Men’s Coalition against Polygamy (Kolmi) has also joined the struggle.

Kolmi spokesman Abdul Hamim Fauzie said via a statement in the capital Jakarta on Sunday that the coalition considered the practice of polygamous marriage degrading, not only to women, but to men as well.

“Facts show that polygamy leads to nothing but domestic violence, discrimination and the abuse of human rights,"Rekao je.

"No, polygamists often argue that polygamy is necessary to avoid infidelity and love affairs. They also claim that polygamy is a part of their religious beliefs. Men use these arguments to justify their polygamous practices,” he added.

The coalition also said that it regretted a number of discriminative articles in the current marriage law in Indonesia.

“The law legalises men to have more than one legal wife when their spouses are seriously ill or sexually incapable.

“This is very unfair, especially to women, because the law only accommodates the needs of men,” Abdul said.

U međuvremenu, Muslim scholar Siti Musdah Mulia said that people practising polygamous marriages who quoted verses from the Muslim holy book or Koran to justify their behaviour were misinterpreting the message.

“Those people must not quote the Koran by verse. They need to read the whole context and understand its real essence before saying the Koran endorses polygamy,"Rekla je.

Musdah said the Koran actually says that Islam aimed to eradicate polygamous practices, not to endorse them.

“Islam considers polygamy an unjust practice that originated in the dark ages. Stoga, Islam sought to eradicate such practices, but due to the severe reaction it caused, it took some time to fully eradicate the practice from the culture at that time,"Rekla je.

Musdah said that she was not surprised to see that a number of men decided to bond together and fight against polygamy.

“Actually, anti-polygamy figures in the past were mostly prominent male clerics. The Prophet Muhammad himself was very angry when one of his son-in-laws planned to engage in polygamy,"Rekla je.

Nedavno, controversy has sparked following an official launch of a polygamy club, dubbed the Global Ikhwan, in Bandung, the capital of West Java province.

The club, originating from Malaysia, cites the noble aim of helping single mothers, reformed prostitutes and aging single women find spouses. As soon as the club was established, condemnation poured in, especially from housewives and women’s activists.

Ironically, the club is chaired by a woman named, Hatijah Binti Am, who has insisted the club could introduce people to the ‘lijep’ side of polygamy.

Previously, a number of polygamy scandals have reduced the popularity of public figures engaged in the practise.

Over 85 percent of the 240 million Indonesians are Muslim and most of them practice a moderate version of the religion.

Kredit za gore navedene informacije: Adnkronos International, Studenog. 15, 2009

“Obiteljska okupljanja u ruralnim Sibiru, u kojemu se život može biti vrlo teško za žene na vlastitu. Fotografirati: Caroline Humphrey”

Studija sugerira mnogoženstvo u Rusiji imamo puno za naučiti o tome kako pobijediti recesija.

Istraživanje poligamije u Rusiji možda ne izgledaju očiti mjesto za tražiti uvid u to kako je financijska kriza mogla igrati u prigradskom ili ruralnom Kent Yorkshire. No, Caroline Humphrey, Sigrid Rausing profesor suradničke antropologije na Sveučilištu Cambridge, kaže središnje Azije i Rusije imaju puno naučiti nas.

“U 1990, Rusija i središnje Azije doživjela ogromne ekonomske promjene: ono što je banka, kako se vaše karijere se događa, ono što ste mogli očekivati od života, sve se promijenilo preko noći,” objašnjava. “I naravno da je imao ogroman utjecaj na živote ljudi, iz obiteljskog života u politiku, i poligamija je dio tog cijelu scenu. Dosada, nismo imali tako dramatične promjene u zapadnoj, but you never know.”

Humphrey specijalizirana antropologije zajednica na rubovima bivšeg Sovjetskog Saveza, te je proveo veći dio svoje karijere proučavanja Buyrat ljudi koji žive sjeverno od mongolske granice u Sibiru. Humphrey kaže da antropolozi polako graditi duboko poznavanje i razumijevanje mjesta i kulture, ali ipak, joj otkriće da je poligamija lobi je bio iznenađenje.

“Prijatelji od mina u Sibiru rekao mi je da su njihovi prijatelji su bili lobiranja parlamentu da legalizira poligamija,” ona kaže. “Oduvijek sam znao da postoje ljudi koji mi se ideja o poligamija, but what I found fascinating was that women were also in support.”

Tako je recesija će se pretvoriti dobro purgere Tunbridge Wells u polygamists? To je vjerojatno. Ali to ostaje činjenica da su razlozi zašto ljudi - i, još više zanimljivo, žene - zagovara mnogoženstvo su u Rusiji i Mongoliji se što više o ekonomiji kao što su oni o seksu. Ključno pitanje je demografija. Ruski populacija pada od 3% godine - a tu su i 9 milijuna kuna manje muškaraca nego žena. Nacionalistički, kao što su ekscentrični vođa Liberalno demokratske stranke, Vladimir Žirinovski, tvrde da uvođenje poligamije će za muževe “10 milijuna usamljenih žena” Majka i ispunite Rusije kolijevke.

Drugdje, u bivšoj islamske regije Rusije, ljudi tvrde da poligamni brak je tradicionalna i da će potaknuti ljude da preuzmu veću odgovornost - time i ublažavanje siromaštva i poboljšanje “moral” obrazovanje.

Nevjerojatno, za obje grupe, ovo je poligamija kao rješenje suvremene društvene bolesti - i, prema Humphrey, pojavljuje izvan islamske regije. U ruralnim područjima “man nestašica”, pogoršana ratom, alkoholizam i masovne ekonomske migracije, još ozbiljniji. No, kada je u pitanju poligamija, ruralne žene imaju prilično različit od svojih nacionalističkih programa muški kolege.

“Mnoge žene žive na ono što su zadrugi, koje su često duboko u šumi i miljama daleko od najbližeg grada,” Humphrey kaže. “Vi živite jako blizu prirodi, i život može biti jako teško - vaš grijanja je u potpunosti kroz log peći, nema tekuće vode, a iznutra sanitacije je rijetka. Ako ste dovoljno sretan držati životinje, Morate brige i mesnica ih sami. Dakle, ako ste obličje nakon djece, kao i, life can be near impossible for a woman on her own.”

Možda je onda čudo, Humphrey's istraživanja su otkrila žena koje vjeruju da “pola dobar čovjek je bolje nego ništa at svi”. “Ima još nekih ljudi u okolici - oni mogu biti pokrenut stvari, s poslom kao službeni, na primjer, ili oni mogu raditi obični radni posao, Ali bilo kako, nema jako puno njih,” ona kaže. “Žene kažu da legalizacije poligamije bi se božji dar: da će im dati prava na čovjekov financijski i fizički potpore, legitimitet za svoju djecu, and rights to state benefits.”

Legalising opetovano poligamija je predloženo i raspravlja u ruske Dume, ili parlamenta - i uvijek okrenut prema dolje. Za urbanites Moskve i St. Petersburga je korak predaleko.

U Mongoliji, također, legalizacija poligamni brak je anatema. Ipak, u Ulan Bator, zabadanje glavnom gradu, dobro obrazovane žene su kombiniranjem tradicionalnog i modernog stvoriti nešto što izgleda sumnjivo kao oblik poligamija.

Začudo, Ono počinje s miraza. Eschewing tradicionalni darovi (konje, jastuci, odjeća), uspješna mongolski obitelji sve više daju svoje kćeri dobro obrazovanje u mjestu miraz. Za razliku od, njihova braća često moraju napustiti školu rano da upravljaju bilo stada ili mali obiteljski posao.

“U mongolski kulture, nevjesta obitelji viši obitelji; i zaručnica bi trebao biti pametan. A imali su 70 godina komunizma, pa ideja da žene trebaju biti dobro obrazovani nije nova,” Humphrey objašnjava. “Od Mongolije, zajedničko s Rusijom, također ima problema s alkoholizmom, there is an imbalance between urban educated women and the number of men these educated women deem to be suitable husband-material.”

Rješenje je jednostavno: oni jednostavno ne vjenčati. Umjesto toga, oni uzeti ono što je poznato kao “tajna ljubavnica” - Obično dobro obrazovan čovjek koji samo će se dogoditi da se uda za nekoga drugoga. Svaka djece proizlaze iz sindikata su doveli do njihove majke i majke obitelji.

“Potpuno je prihvaćen. Te žene su među elitu mongolski društva - one bi mogle biti zastupnik u parlamentu ili direktor tvrtke i oni su strahovito dive,” Humphrey kaže. “They would be horrified by the idea of polygamous marriage because they don’t want to risk their independence.”

Pa što to znači za bračnog odnosa u Rusiji i središnjoj Aziji? Humphrey kaže da je malo vjerojatno da poligamni brak nikada neće biti legalizirana u Rusiji - ali možda i to ne smeta.

“Insuficijencija muškaraca, obrazovane žene koje žele ostvariti, ruralne žene koje žele da se zaštite, sve te stvari će dovesti do rješenja poput mnogoženstvo,” kaže Humphrey, “whether it’s called that or not.”

Kredit za gore navedene informacije: Mira Katbamna- Guardian,Utorak, 27 Listopada 2009, guardian.co.uk © Guardian Novosti i mediji Limited 2009

KAIRO, Egipat (AP) - Hayam Dorbek želi da joj muž da će se vjenčati. Opet.

U pozivajući ga - i ostatak Egipta - da se više otvoreno kao poligamija odobrio islam, 42-year-old novinarka je krenula živo raspravu u svojoj zemlji i ostatku arapskog svijeta u tuning na satelitskim TV.

Dorbek kaže da je osjetio njen rad je čuvanje joj toliko zauzet da je njezin suprug potreban drugi supruga. Ona kaže da je on to odbio, “ali moj sin je mi pomaže promicati ideju,” rekla je.

Osjeća islamski koncept poligamija je odgovor za mnoge egipatske društvenih zala. Ona je članke s naslovima poput “Jedna žena nije dovoljno,” i pomogao je oblik udruživanja zove “Al-Tayseer,” ili olakšavanje, da promiče poligamija.

Neki su žestoki, rekavši to čini Egipat izgledati konzervativne Saudijske Arabije i loše za žene - koji se svodi na “ih prikazuje u roblje’ tržištu,” prema Nihad Aboul-Qomsan, šef egipatskog Centra za ženska prava.

Rasprava utjelovljuje tug-of-rat između konzervativaca i liberala u zemlji koja je puna zapadne simbolima i idejama, a također postaje sve više islamskih.

Mnogi preporoda konzervativnog islama su se do moderne retorike, sebe predstaviti kao alternativu dekadentnog Zapada. Dorbek recasts licencu da islam daje ljudima da oženiti do četiri žene, te joj daje moderan okus, važna u današnjem svijetu.

“Zovem za prava žena: njihovo pravo da se u braku, čak i ako za oženjenim muškarcem,” Dorbek rekao je Associated Press. Poligamija je “dozvolu od Boga stabilizirati društvo i riješiti svoje probleme.”

Za poznate probleme obiteljskog života kao što je preljub i razvod, Dorbek dodaje “spinsterism” - Žene preostalih single u njihovim 30-tim, i da možda stigmatizirani kao lak plijen za muškarce ili temptresses vrebajući na muškarce za sex.

Njezina rješenje: trzaj jednog, udovica ili razvedena žena da oženjeni muškarci koji financijski može podržati i pružiti jednako za više od jedne obitelji. To će zaustaviti ljude iz vlasništvo poslova i pružiti žene s nadstojnik, ona tvrdi.

Egipatski zakon dopušta mnogoženstvo, ali to je manje učestala nego u Perzijskom zaljevu država i Saudijske Arabije. Jer jedna stvar, to je skupo. Za drugi, neke TV programe i filmove imaju tendenciju da se naglasiti njegova downside - muževi ne može nositi s više žena, žene u emocionalnu bol.

“Sekularna struje u društvu njušci islamski glasovi te ih utopiti,” Dorbek, rekao je. “Pozivam na arapske i muslimanke da prihvati Božje zakone.”

Ali Dorbek priznao da suprotnosti ne samo dolaze iz sekularista i aktivisti za ljudska prava, ali i iz nekih religioznih ljudi koji vjeruju da postoje strogi uvjeti za poligamija.

Ona kaže da je vjerski odgoj i odlučio izaći u javnost o poligamija nakon prijatelj rekao joj je s obzirom na rastavu njezin suprug za tajno uzimanje drugu ženu. Dorbek podsjeća govoreći joj: “Zašto bi vas uništiti svoj dom i riješiti jedan problem koji stvara još?”

Sociolog Alya Ahmed rekao je pozive za poligamija odražava pokušaj da pomiri religiju i seksualno zadovoljenje u muško-dominiraju društva da pogleda žene kao seksualni objekti.

“Kultura i tradicija im ne dopuštaju (ali) za budalu oko, pa poligamija pruža puškarnica i omogućuje im da tvrde oni umirivanja Boga,” rekla je. “No, to je stvarno o požude i užitka.”

A što o djeci? Pro-poligamija kampa kaže kako je to dobro za njih, jer to sprečava razvod i drži obitelj na okupu. Protivnici kažu djeca pate kad su žene u obitelji poligamski svađe.

Dorbek sin je 20. Ona također ima 18-year-old kćer.

Ona kaže da stotine ljudi su odgovorili na njezin kampanju tražeći joj pomogne u pronalaženju drugu ženu, i desetke žena također imaju kontaktirao rekavši joj da su spremni srijeda oženjenim muškarcem.

Neke žene prihvatiti poligamni brakovi iz usamljenosti, vjerske pobožnosti ili strah od razvoda. Drugi ga pronaći previše ponižavajuće i odlučiti na razvod svojim muževima.

Nagwa, koji je tražio da zadrži prezime zaštititi njezinu privatnost, kaže da je udata već sretno oženjen čovjek, nego ostati u jednom 40. Rekla je predložio da joj se s prvom ženom pristanka, jer je osjetio vjerskih obaveza kako bi zaštitili muslimanku.

“Isprva sam bio zabrinut,” , rekao je Nagwa, tko živi u gradu Sinai el-Arish. “Ali, kada ste s osobom koja se boji Boga, on će se pobrinuti za vas.”

Nagwa je rekao da se pokušava liječiti i žene isto, ali ona zna da voli njegova prva supruga više.

“To malo boli,” rekla je, “ali on pokušava ne pokazati svoju prednost.”

Arafat Sayed, poslovni čovjek iz južnog grada Luxor, ima tri supruge i oženio s obzirom na četvrtine. “Ti bi mogao biti u braku samo jedan, ali imaju afere. Koji je bolji?” , kazao je

Kredit za gore navedene informacije: Rim Vijesti-Tribune, po Associated Press “prije četiri godine”

“Burnt odjeću i krhotine ostaju izvan prizor požara svatove u Jahra, zapadno od grada Kuvajt.”

AFP – Kuvajtski žena odbijen na sudu je u utorak da je zapalio vjenčanje šator i izazvali požar u kojem je poginulo 55 žene i djecu.

Nasra Yussef Mohammad al-Enezi jednostavno odgovorio “Na” kada je sudac Adel Al-Sager hoće li je ona počela vatru i ubili ljudi.

To je bio samo riječi 23-year-old je govorio tijekom kratkog rasprave koja je otvorena njezina suđenja za optužbe, uključujući ubojstvo s predumišljajem.

Tražite nježan i blijedo, Nasra početku odbio je govoriti nakon dvije ženske zatvorskih čuvara ju je pomogao suca govornicom.

Njezina tri odvjetnika pozvao za svoje puštanje u tijeku pune ispitivanje i navodnog maltretiranja od strane zatvorskih službenika.

Javni tužitelj predstavio nema argumenata tijekom rasprave, ali odvjetnik Zaid al-Khabbaz rekao je novinarima da je žena tereti “ubojstvo s predumišljajem i počinju vatru s namjerom da ubije.”

Nasra je uhićen na kolovoz 16, dan nakon 41 žena i djece umrlo u požaru u šatoru vjenčanje u Jahra, zapadno od grada Kuvajt. Broj poginulih popeo se na kasnije 55, prema Ministarstvu unutarnjih poslova.

Žena je u početku vjerovao da je mladoženja bivša supruga, ali joj branitelji kažu da je još uvijek njegova supruga. Poligamija je dopuštena u tom zaljevu muslimanske države.

Obrane također tvrde da odvjetnici Nasra bila dva mjeseca trudna kad je uhićen te je “namjerno prekinut” od strane stražar uz pomoć azijskih medicinska sestra.

Sudac je zbog napraviti svoju odluku kasnije tijekom dana na odvjetnike’ aplikacije.

Kreditna za iznad info: Francuska 24 (Međunarodni vijesti 24/7)- 27 Listopada 2009-11H44

Praćenje članak: Rečenica

http://polygamy411.com/2010/12/19/death-penalty-for-kuwati-woman-in-polygamy-case /

poligamija 411

JA blog o poligamiji i to mi pomaže. Nadam se da će  pomoći drugima kao i. Ja sam bio u braku poligamni za dvije godine i jedanaest mjeseci. Počeo sam poligamija 411.com blog nakon što sam živio poligamija samo malo više od dvije godine. To je apsolutno nevjerojatno kako blogging je okrenuo moj život oko toliko bolje u tako kratkom roku – deset mjeseci.  Moje mentalno zdravlje i emocionalno blagostanje su dramatično poboljšana.

Kako je bloganje o poligamiji pomogao mi?  Dobro, kad sam blog o poligamija je nešto poput razgovora terapiju ili "govori tretman". Nasuprot idući u vidjeti terapeut, i vlasništvo grupno savjetovanje, Vodim moje terapije na blogu.  Razgovaram s ljudima na blogu koji imaju slične probleme žive poligamiju ili one koji imaju interes u poligamiji i želite naučiti nešto o njoj ili razgovarati o tome.  Ja osloboditi moje nevolji o poligamiji pišući o tome i govori drugima koji se brinu o tome. I pisati i razgovarati s drugima koji su u sličnoj državi nevolji, ili je bio tamo sa poligamiji.  Kad sam razgovarati s drugima o poligamiji to mi pomaže pronaći svoje osjećaje i način na koji ja mislim, koji mi pomaže da bolje nositi s poligamiji. Bez pitanja, živi poligamija je teško za mene.

Nakon što je blog koji se fokusira na poligamija je pomogao na više načina, kao dobro.  To je besplatan za razgovor, pisati i čitati na blogu, Za razliku od viđenje psihoterapeuta. Razmislite o novcu sam spašen. Ne moram napustiti svoj dom da ide terapeut uredu.  Mogao sam “psihoterapija,” da tako kažemo, svaki dan, tijekom dana, , a ne biti ograničen na jednom ili dva puta tjedno. Ja ne moram pokazati osobne podatke, moj pravi identitet koji bi se dokumentirati. Ne imati terapeut predmet mi je lijek, što mislim da se često čini više štete nego koristi osobi.

Da. Blogging o poligamija mi je pomogao i mislim da je pomoglo i pomaže drugima, kao dobro.  Molimo, nemojte me krivo shvatiti; Nisam sugerirajući ili preporuči blogging o poligamiji kao zamjena za profesionalni psihoterapiju za one koji vjeruju da je to potrebno, nikako. Blogging nije zamjena za medicinski tretman za one u potrebi.  Stavovi izraženi u ovom postu su moji vlastiti i osobne.

To je otvorena kuća. Ne trebate kucati. Samo doći u.