Poligamija 411

This is the problem with many polygamous marriages, as I see it:

In the days of the Prophet Muhammad (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), he propagated Islam. All came together to worship and serve Allah – the purpose Allah created us for. His marriages were to cement relations between tribes etc. He was the leader of his family. He taught them Islam. Everyone that accepted Islam ate, drank and slept it, so to speak.

We have men with multiple families and they are not leaders. They don’t follow the way of the Prophet Muhammad. They don’t rehearse the Quran with their families. I don’t mean to follow the way of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) by wearing a long beard and looking like him (perhaps a cultural thing). I’m referring to Islam and belief – Belief in Allah and all that Allah says in the Quran. Allah tells us what a believer is. Allah, throughout the Quran, outlines who a Believer is, and did not list to wear a beard as a criteria for a Believer. Wearing a beard isn’t righteousness. It’s not what I refer to here.

So we have men with multiple families and the members of the families don’t get along because the leaders of the families aren’t teaching them Islam. They’re just fulfilling their family members basic needs, feeding them, clothing them etc. and fulfilling their own needs (sex), as well. And some of the men aren’t with their families long enough to teach them anything. What good is the husband if he shows up just to see the wife and grab himself some sex here and there? There is no singleness of purpose in the marriages. The marriages are simply separate marriage units in which each member is simply trying to satisfy their own desires. No one cares about the other. They have no reason to come together.

Alex, ideally, should read Quran with me; we should discuss it and we should apply everything we do to it. The same should happen with him at his other wife’s house with her, if she is Muslim. If we were all trying to worship and serve Allah, no one would have a problem doing as Allah says, to give and return the salaam (Islamic greeting), for instance. We would all be cordial to one another. We would be compassionate towards one another etc. Why? Because we would all have the same goal and purpose.

We have husbands that are slack in their duties and responsibilities. They aren’t fulfilling them. Our marriages in Islam aren’t very much different from non-Muslim marriages. The man simply has more than one. Instead of “cheating”, he goes grab himself another marriage. Islam plays a small part in any of it. It simply gives him the permission to engage in polygamy, so it seems.

If the men/husbands stepped up to the plate and were the leaders and commanders of their families, there would be less chaos, craziness, and confusion that we see in our marriages. Islam is not about looking and “acting” the part; it’s about being the part.

This is an open house. No need to knock. Just come on in.

Any questions you have about polygamy or discussions you would like to have about it, we will entertain on this post. You could direct your questions to the forum, to a particular person or to me.

Our goal is to support those that have a sincere interest in polygamy and don’t oppose it. We are here to support and encourage those that live polygamy, believe they may one day live polygamy or have a general interest in wanting to know more about a life of polygamy.

We discourage any debates about whether polygamy in Islam is permissible or not. This is not the forum for those who are against polygamy or have a strong hatred or distaste for it that they want to keep.

What questions do you have for us? What would you like to discuss? Please be certain your questions or discussions relate to polygamy. Even if it’s with reference to your husband’s favorite recipe, his likes or dislikes; if you could tie it into polygamy and marriage, we are here to discuss it with you.

P.S. Please do not include links to other sites for information. Just as those here were able to find polygamy 411, they could find other sites as well. It is OK to refer to information that you obtained else where, but links are not acceptable here.

This is an open house. No need to knock. Just come on in.

After further consideration, based on many emails that we received from concerned people, and discussions with others that I am closely associated with, we have determined there is a serious, high demand for the blog. Tako, Poligamija 411 will reopen in the very near future. There will be certain guidelines that we will place into effect that all must follow. Prvi, na primjer, the topic for discussion is solely about polygamy.

We ask all to only:

1. Make statements about oneself. Do not make negative statements about other people.

2. Before responding to someone else’s post, ask questions to clarify that one correctly understands what the other person actually means.

An avid reader and member of our blog family gave very valuable advice and suggested the guidelines above. Additionally, she indicated: “When God makes polygamy possible, this becomes a core fact in one’s life, and it is neither possible nor productive to exclude religious topics.” It is unavoidable that we will discuss religion. It must, međutim, stay in context. One must connect it to the topic of polygamy.

Please note well: Comments are not welcome from those whose aim is to make this blog personal with regard to anyone. Attacks on anyone would not be tolerated.

My intention is to do all I can to foster a harmonious atmosphere here at polygamy 411, so we could all benefit from the discussions and learn and grow together.

We at polygamy 411 look forward to everyone happily participating again here very soon.

To je otvorena kuća. Ne trebate kucati. Samo doći u.

Kao Salaamu Alaikum & Peace to All:

I received a very special email that I must share with you all from “Maryam” whom is a very beautiful member of our blog family here at polygamy 411.  She stated:

“Bok Ana,

Ohhhh. Ok, Početna stranica, I understand. You are right, people were just not
letting go of the topic. Yesterday I noticed that it had been a MONTH
of discussing the same issue.

I completely understand why you had to do what you had to do.

I hope you don’t take offense, but your blog was like my daily soap
opera. I will miss knowing what happened to Nura, Od, and Lynn. U
will miss hearing all of your stories. Including, Dizalica. Da, ona
boasted a lot, but I understood that her way of thinking is influenced
by her culture. Više, maybe she was not boasting, maybe she just
wanted us, her sisters in Islam to feel happy for her.
I am happy for her, but I don’t think that people who are struggling
financially appreciated to hear all that.

Anyways, I pray to Allah that he will bring joy and happiness to all
who seek for his help. Especially you since you have done so much
good.

Last night, I finished chapter five of your journey. Whewww. It’s been
a difficult journey. But you put your trust in Allah and Alhamduillah
you are happy now.

Your blog also helped me. You know how? I was very impress being so
knowledgeable in Islam and practicing it better than born Muslims.
Especially you. You have been a good example for me.

Maybe you will consider one day doing a blog helping converts
understand Islam better. Or do you know any good blogs for this? Maybe
you can recommend to your Wali to do such blog. I would be the first
one to follow it.

Ok, Početna stranica. Take good care of yourself. I will finish your journal and
then check back once is a while to see if you had a change of heart
and re-open.

Allah Hafiz

Maryam”

***Imajte na umu: Maryam made a correction to her statement above, which is as follows:

“U  re-read my earlier email, and what the heck was I saying here: “Your blog also helped me. You know how? I was very impress being so knowledgeable in Islam and practicing it better than born Muslims. Especially you. You have been a good example for me.”

LOL. I meant, I was impress to see so many converts practicing Islam better than me and being so knowledgeable in Islam. It was a good example for me, especially you. “