Poligamia 411

Click on the link below to view video about polygamy in the UK:

“Is the UK Turning a Blind Eye to Muslim Polygamy?”

Video About Polygamy in the UK

“Resat Yagdi will pay a high price for a second wife”

The villages of south-east Anatolia, in the corner of Turkey that borders Iraq and Syria, are bleak, hauntingly beautiful places that do not give up their secrets lightly.

It is part of what Kurds claim as their homeland, where years of violent struggle between Kurdish separatists and the Turkish government have left more than 30,000 killed.

The government outlawed the practice of polygamy nearly a century ago. But Islamic custom can allow men to take up to four wives.

In this devoutly Muslim region, it is estimated that nearly a quarter of all marriages are polygamous.

Men like 32-year-old Resat Yagdi regard it as their birthright. He is a part-time electrician and onion farmer, with a beautiful wife and three children, one just a week old.

But despite these blessings, he is determined to take a second wife to enhance his prosperity and prestige in the village.

Price of a bride

He has chosen a girl who lives virtually next door – Ayse Aymaz – who is eight years his junior.

But while preparing to marry Ayse, he soon learned that love comes at a price.

To win Ayse’s hand, first Resat must build her a new home, and pay her parents a substantial bride price. By the time he marries, he will be £18,000 out of pocket.
“Polygamy is common in this exclusively Muslim region”

But after what Resat considered to be an unhappy first marriage, it is a price worth paying. He says: “Ayse is so feminine. She is everything I’ve ever dreamt of. She’s my perfect type.”

For Resat’s 22-year-old sister, Melihat, the clock is ticking.

Her marriage will soon be arranged by her father, who has three wives himself, and her price negotiated with the groom’s family.

Melihat knows she is regarded purely as an economic asset: “They sell girls like animals; we’re not treated as human beings.”

Some are sold into marriage as young as 12 years old. Girls who run away are simply killed, in what are euphemistically called “honour” killings.

Unsurprisingly there are few prepared to speak out against these practices.

One of the few campaigners, Ayla Sumbul, teaches women to read and write in the slums of one of Anatolia’s largest cities, Sanliurfa.

She spells out the consequences for wives who do not comply: “If the first wife complains then she gets beaten, or the husband punishes her and the children by not providing them with food. She becomes a prisoner.”

Ayla has recently uncovered a disturbing side effect of polygamy and inbreeding.

‘A quiet affair’

Repeated intermarrying within families, typically between first and second cousins, has produced abnormally high rates of children with Downs Syndrome and Mediterranean anaemia.

Ayse is Resat’s cousin, but nobody in his village sees anything wrong with it.

But because polygamy is illegal, Resat has to keep his wedding a quiet affair.

So quiet that the bride’s family is not invited. Nor in fact is the bride present at the ceremony.

She is kept veiled in the bedroom, while a local Imam arrives to recite all the necessary Koranic verses in the presence of the groom and two male witnesses.

Within two days of the wedding and marriage being consummated, Ayse is put to work in Resat’s onion fields.

From a Western perspective, polygamy appears to be little better than slavery.

In the brutal, feudal world of south-east Anatolia, women are bought and sold for sex, for free labour and men’s pride.

And for Ayse, there will be no honeymoon. Yet she has no regrets: “I don’t care whether he’s penniless or not. It’s not important to me what he’s worth. It’s all because I love him.”

Polygamy is illegal in Turkey, but in practice it is allowed to continue. In remote areas like this, Turkey risks antagonising Kurdish separatists by intervening in tradition and customs.

But as Turkey seeks to negotiate entry into the European Union, polygamy and other human rights issues are likely to attract greater international attention.

SCORES of expatriate workers living in the Kingdom enjoy a permanent visa status for their family. Tuttavia, this does not help those who have more than one wife.

“I have two wives, but I couldn’t get a residence visa for both. Come risultato, I could bring only one of my wives and her children here,” said Aslam Rahil, a Pakistani engineer who has lived in Jeddah for 7 years. 

Rahil married his second wife two years back. He has three daughters from his first wife. “I want to bring my second wife here from Pakistan and wish to have children with her,", Ha detto, adding that his second wife is insecure as she has not been able to produce a son so far.

Many expatriates are unable to deal equally with their wives who live in their home country as they stay here with only one wife and her children brought here on a permanent visa status. “I went to Pakistan only once to meet with my second wife after marriage,” said Rahil.

In Saudi Arabia, polygamy is an accepted practice. Under Islamic law, a Muslim man may take as many as four wives, provided that he can support and treat them all equally. 

Dr. Ali Hasnain, an Egyptian therapist, has three wives. He brings his wives one at a time on visas to the Kingdom. “When I failed to get permanent visas for all my wives, I decided not to bring any one of them permanently. Invece, I invite them on visitor’s visas one at a time and so none of them complain of unequal treatment,", Ha detto.

 Basha Nawaz Khan, an international legal expert, said that the Kingdom does not permit the entry of more than one wife and the children of other wives on a permanent visa. They, tuttavia, can enter on a visitor’s visa.

“The latest regulations of the local passport authorities (Jawazat) do not permit an expatriate to bring more than one wife or the children of other wives here,” said Khan. 

He said that if the profession mentioned on one’s Iqama is that of a laborer, driver, agricultural laborer, tailor, ecc, he is not eligible to apply for a residential visa or a visitor’s visa.

Relevant applicants should have a minimum salary of SR3500 (and above). Iqama holders with professions like that of doctors, engineers, IT engineers, legal advisers, chief mechanics, accountants, investors, sales managers, and marketing managers can apply for a permanent family visa, for only one family.

The applicant’s salary certificate issued by the sponsor and attested educational certificates are required when he is applying for a visitor’s visa or a family visa. Polygamy is widespread among Muslims in South Asia sanctioned under the Islamic law of Shariah, with polygamous marriages constituting one to three percent of all marriages.

A Pakistani investor, requesting anonymity, who wanted to bring his second wife on an investor’s visa, said he obtained a family visa for his second wife only after a long uphill struggle. “I succeeded to bring both my wives to the Kingdom, but this is not possible now as per the local authorities,” he said.  

According to the Saudi Arabian General Investment Authority (SAGIA) rules, investment license holders and owners of a company/ establishment/ industry/ factory in Saudi Arabia can bring their first wife within a couple of weeks of obtaining a business license.    

The Saudi Ministry of Foreign Affairs has a relatively easy online procedure of obtaining a visitor’s visa. 
“The visitor’s visa can be extended two to three times as per the requirement, with the payment of SR100 as the fee. In the case of the wife’s pregnancy, the visitor’s visa can be extended until her delivery, on the basis of a relevant medical certificate,” said advocate Khan. 

Muhammad Abdullah (name changed), an Indian sales manager, obtained a temporary visitor’s visa for his second wife from Nepal, although he originally wished to get a permanent family visa for her.  

“I married a Nepali Muslim woman after I converted to Islam from Hinduism. Since I already have my Indian wife’s picture on my Iqama, I was not eligible for obtaining a permanent family visa for my second wife who is also a Muslim convert,", Ha detto.

Abdullah’s first wife plans to sue him in India for marrying a second time. 

Under the Hindu Marriage Act of India, polygamy is illegal for Hindus. The law excludes Muslim Indians. As compared to India, polygamy is more common among the Hindus in Nepal because of which most Nepali women are accustomed to being a second wife. 

Abdullah said his first wife refused to divorce him and to return to India permanently. “Since we have two kids, I cannot ignore my first wife.

But I can bring my Nepali wife on a permanent visa only after I send my first family back,", Ha detto. – SG

Credito per le informazioni sopra: Saudi Gazette Internet Edition, by Sameera Aziz

I pretty much know how 1^st wives feel and what they go through, as I am one, un 1^st  moglie.  I’m interested, tuttavia, in hearing more from other wives, especially 3^rds e 4^ths, since we haven’t heard a lot from them.

One thing that keeps haunting me when I think about wives that marry married men is how they feel so wronged and hurt when they knew what they were embarking upon when they married an already married man.  I understand how a wife that a husband deceived by not letting her know he had another wife could experience a lot of pain and heartache. Ma, I can’t quite grasp how a woman who entered a polygamous marriage willingly and knowingly could complain about not liking it.

If anyone, particularly 2^°, 3^°’ and 4^° mogli, could shed some light on the subject, I would greatly appreciate it. We are all trying to learn here, so we welcome any and all comments from everyone.

I don’t mean to diminish the value of any wife be she 2^°, 3^°, o 4^° by numbering them. It is the only way I know how to put them in sequence.

Questa è una casa aperta. Non c'è bisogno di bussare. Appena arrivato in.

Qatar si trova nella penisola del Medio Oriente, che si affacciano sul Golfo Persico e l'Arabia Saudita.

La poligamia tasso è basso in Qatar.

Uno studio ha liquidato come "falsa" l'idea che la poligamia è una pratica diffusa tra Qatar, sottolineando che il tasso di matrimonio poligamo è rimasta ad un livello basso negli ultimi due decenni.

Lo studio, che è stato rilasciato dal Comitato Popolazione al Segretariato Generale per la pianificazione dello sviluppo, ha detto che il numero di Qatar che ha preso una sola moglie variava da 89% a 96% nel periodo compreso tra 1997 e 2007.

"Durante il periodo oggetto dello studio, la tendenza non era né in declino, né in aumento. Questo significa che i matrimoni poligami non significano un fenomeno sociale nel paese,"Dice lo studio.

Mentre il numero di uomini sposare due mogli rappresentavano 3.8% a 8.7% nel corso degli anni oggetto dello studio, essa non ha oltrepassato 0.3% per coloro che hanno preso tre o quattro mogli.

Anche se gli uomini musulmani hanno il permesso di sposare fino a quattro donne contemporaneamente, L'Islam lo rende obbligatorio per coloro che prendono più di una moglie per trattare con loro giustamente. E se il marito non è sicuro di questo, Poi si è ordinato di sposare uno.

Credito per le informazioni sopra: Gulf Times, da Elshamy Anwar, 8/31/09

I initially thought the “Polygamy Club” in Malaysia was not a bad idea.  It helps get prostitutes off the street and taken care of; doesn’t it? Now I’m beginning to question whether the “Polygamy Club” in Malaysia is good after all.

I think a question of morality comes into play. Who is to say the “reformed” prostitute is not still full of abomination?  Perhaps the former prostitute is not reformed and her morals are still corrupt. Dopo tutto, not all women that can’t earn a living turn to prostitution for income. Who’s to say the “reformed” prostitute, now labeled “wife”, won’t continue to sell her body for additional money to supplement the monies that her husband gives her? How much money is enough for her?

Some further questions I ask:

Does the “reformed” prostitute now become the private prostitute of one of the husband’s in the “Polygamy Club?” It appears it’s just a matter of geography. The “reformed” prostitute is just moved from one location to another. She’s removed from the street or brothel, and is taken to the “Polygamy Club.”

Does the reformed prostitute go from being prostitute to mistress?

Are health risks involved for the first wife? Say for instance the first wife wasn’t a former prostitute. Her husband marries a “reformed” prostitute as a second, third or fourth wife. The “reformed” prostitute returns to prostitution on the days she’s not with her husband, as her husband is with one of his other wives. Doesn’t that present a problem for the first wife or other wives that weren’t former prostitutes, but chaste, as they risk contracting sexually transmitted diseases?

I no longer see a significant deal of good in the “Polygamy Club” in Malaysia.  Let a prostitute decide she no longer wants that profession (prostitution), find Islam, reform and find herself a husband. Then the likelihood that she reformed and accepted Islam is more acceptable and less questionable.

The “polygamy Club” in Malaysia may have just created more problems opposed to alleviating them or may have just transferred the problem from one place to another-from the street or brothel to the “Polygamy Club”. What do you think?

For more information on the “polygamy Club”, please read the following post:

http://polygamy411.com/2009/10/08/the-polygamy-club-in-malaysia/

Questa è una casa aperta. Non c'è bisogno di bussare. Appena arrivato in.

“Polygamist Mohammad Inaamulillah Bin Ashaari is shown with his four wives-AP Photo”

No Husband? No Problem! Malaysia Polygamy Club To Hatch Matches With Already Married Men. 

When she was practicing law, Kartini Maarof once went beyond the call of duty for her divorce client.

She arranged for Rohaya Mohamad, a mother of seven, to be married again _ to Kartini’s own husband.

The spouse they have shared for a decade is 43-year-old Ikramullah Ashaari, who has four wives and 17 bambini. His 72-year-old father has 38 offspring from five marriages, without ever having flouted Islam’s prescribed limit of four wives at a time.

Polygamy is legal for Muslims in Malaysia, though not widespread. The Ashaari clan believes it should be. Last month it launched a “Polygamy Club” that claims the noble aim of helping single mothers, reformed prostitutes and women who feel they are past the marrying age.

“We want to change the way people perceive polygamy, so that it will be seen as something beautiful instead of something disgusting,” said Hatijah Aam, the founder of the club. She is the fourth wife of Ikramullah’s father, Ashaari Muhammad.

Polygamy may seem out of place in an Asian democracy proud of its skyscrapers, high-tech skills and go-getter economy. But it retains a foothold in this Muslim-majority country of 27 million where piety is deeply embedded and Muslims can be arrested for drinking alcohol or consorting with the opposite sex unless a couple is married.

The government also polices religious practice. Ashaari, the family patriarch, used to head an Islamic sect that was banned in 1994 as heretical because it projected Ashaari as an absolver of sinners.

Most of the Polygamy Club members belonged to the sect, and there’s nothing illegal about how they live now, so long as they’re Muslims. For the one-third of the population that isn’t Muslim, polygamy is unlawful.

The practice used to be more common but has dwindled to an estimated 2 percent of all Muslim marriages as women have become freer and careers have opened up for them.

The polygamists point out that the Prophet Muhammad is thought to have married about a dozen women in his lifetime, including widows in need of protection.

“Some people treat polygamy as a laughing matter because they do not fully comprehend it,” says Ikramullah, a jovial businessman and son of his father’s first wife. “But a community that practices it would know that it is not bizarre. Di fatto, you would be teased if you were a man with only one wife.”

The club claims to number 300 husbands and 700 mogli. It hopes to cultivate examples of happy households to counter women’s rights activists who say some spouses and children suffer in polygamous marriages. Club members say polygamy deters adultery and would improve the marriage prospects of ex-prostitutes if more men were available to marry them.

But Shahrizat Abdul Jalil, the Muslim female minister in charge of family policy, says polygamy “is not a culture that is encouraged in our society.”

Sisters in Islam, an advocacy group campaigning against polygamy, says it isn’t good for women.

“If people choose to be monogamous, there are enough men for every woman,” it said in a statement to The Associated Press.

One opponent of polygamy is a 42-year-old business executive who asked to be identified only as Sharifah. She said she threatened to divorce her husband of nearly 15 years after he told her last year that he had fallen in love with a divorced mother of three, felt she needed help, and wanted to marry her.

“I felt like my fairy tale had ended,” Sharifah said. “He was my soul mate. … I couldn’t believe it was happening. Then I started to scream at him.”

She said some people told her that agreeing to a second wife would secure her place in heaven. But Sharifah, the breadwinner for her two children and jobless husband, refused to give in. The couple underwent marriage counseling and Sharifah’s husband has promised not to marry the other woman.

“Women have to make a stand. We are getting more progressiv. We know our rights,” ha detto. “I will not enter into a polygamous marriage. I know I deserve better.”

Kartini, 41, says polygamy has served her well; while she was busy arguing court cases, her husband’s first wife would cook, clean and look after the children.

“The wives can complement each other,” ha detto. “Naturalmente, you miss your husband and there are natural feelings of competition and jealousy at first. But after a while, you try to become friends and you learn that you can share your problems with each other.”

The club says most of its husbands keep each spouse in a home of her own unless the women agree to live under one roof. Many husbands rotate their days among households.

The tight-knit family is concentrated in Rawang, a town outside Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia’s largest city. They gather for religious holidays and other festivities, such as a recent “Family Day” where they performed songs for each other and picnicked. They mingle easily in public, chatting and joking like any ordinary family.

The club is funded by the family’s grocery stores, restaurants and other businesses. It plans to offer matchmaking, wedding planning and marriage counseling.

Hatijah, who became the patriarch’s fourth wife in 1982, used to be skeptical of polygamy, and agreed to the marriage because she worried that at 27, she was getting too old to find a husband.

Ora 54 and a mother of eight, dice: “What is wrong with sharing a husband? I’ve been doing so for nearly 30 anni.”

Credit for above info: The Associated Press-RAWANG, Malaysia, Sette 27, 2009