通常一夫多妻ファミリーマレーシア研究
で アン 1月17日に, 2010, 間に 一夫多妻 - 余波, セクション 2
ストレス, けんかと無視: ザ “ノーマル” マレーシア全体polygmaous家族大規模な研究が現在進行中の一夫多妻誰もが参加害証拠を発見: 感情的に傷ついた子どもたちから, 彼らがオフにひとり親家庭の方がよいと思う妻, と"私は息子のためにそれを推薦しない認めるも夫; それはかなりストレスだ。"
時イスラムのマレーシア女性の人権団体シスター (SISファイル) その一夫多妻社会問題を引き起こすと主張し、否定的な感情の影響がある, マレーシアのイスラム設立の主要な数字は頼む, "何の証明がありますか?". 時SISは人の法的サービスやサポートのための組織に近づいていた女性の例を挙げて, 返答は"それは"ケースを分離または"ときは、適切に練習だださ, 一夫多妻制の調和家族の生活を作成することができます。"
一夫多妻制の影響について、その事例証拠をサポートするために具体的なデータを提供する, 後半 2007 SISは、その結果、現在に来て始めている野心的な研究プロジェクトを開始. 作業学者の3つの大学から, 研究は約完了 1,500 すべての各地から定性定量アンケート 12 半島マレーシアの状態, に沿って深層面接何十もの. SISの研究では、妻への影響に焦点を当てる多くの研究とは異なり一夫多妻制の世界的な分析に重要な貢献をすることができる, 本研究ではまた、夫や子供たちにインタビュー.
ジェンダーと夫婦関係の非常に家父長を眺めることがイスラム新保守主義者からの圧力の下で, 1回の間で考えられていた一夫多妻制で、マレーシアの法律の権利は、女性のための守る最も, 大幅に緩和されている. 市販 1984 連邦イスラム家族法は、5つの条件をイスラム教徒の男性ていた彼は別の妻を取ることができる前に、満たす必要があった: 彼は金融手段をいた; 妻の平等な待遇を保証できる; 害は、既存の妻に/妻が原因になる; 追加結婚は"だけで、必要な"だった; その提案の結婚するべきではありません直接または間接的に、既存の妻との生活扶養の標準を下げる.
で 1996, 最後の条件が削除されたと 2004 "ただ と 必要"に改正された"だけ または 必要に応じ". This removed the Qur’anic requirement of justice and fairness, '必要な'法律でマレーシアのますますイスラム教雰囲気の中で定義されていたので、多くの男性が見つかりました それは簡単に一夫多妻の結婚の許可を取得し、法の抜け穴を利用する法的または社会的な非難を恐れることなく. このシフトの影響が逸話の研究が見つかりましたので、まだ残っている宗教局の記録のために 1993-2007 非常に偏っている. または一夫多妻の結婚ではない実際の数字はどうか、最近数十年間に増加している, そこに実践の顕著な正常化されている. 多くの保守的なマレーイスラム教徒の政治家は皮肉なことに、彼らが中心で女性のニーズを持って主張する, と言って: "モダンな文脈で, そこにいるより多くの教育, 我々は一夫多妻制"奨励すべきので、未婚のまま専門職の女性.
SISの研究を見る最初の妻の多くの子供たちは強い負の感情の影響を報告するから予備調査. 彼は彼が子どもたちを持って開始2番目の妻となおさらを得た後ほとんどの父親から無視を報告彼女. 特にここで父親が2つ以上の妻や以上があった 10 子供, 娘と息子は、しばしばほとんどそれらを認識することができます父親を請求する. 彼らがポケットマネーや授業料を求めるために行った, 父親は、彼らに無知見て、"どちらが母親からあなたは言う?". これは、クラス全体が起こった.
一夫多妻も悪影響を子供たちとその母親との関係に影響を与える, の元父親は無視をしないことを確認することができない当分の母親に腹を立てる人またはなるために、落ち込んでも感情のニーズを無視して. 男女を問わず, 彼らは家族の生活を外傷けんかと憤りでいっぱい経験しているため、彼らは自分の能力を安定した関係を持っている信頼の不足. 2番目の妻の子供は、通常より出産のための彼らの父親を知って対処する別の家族を持って. しかし、最初の家族から子供たちは比較を見ることができます: 時間不足, 資源不足, 父親の不在は彼を必要と. 一部の子供たちのSISは彼らが彼らは孤立の感情に対処するためのサポートグループをセットアップする手助けと主張; 彼らは状況について戸惑いを感じるように学校では誰にも自分たちの問題を関連付けることはできません.
子供たちに与える影響についての調査結果は、擁護のための重要な開口部、最終的に女性を受けることができます変更を申し出ることができる. 歴史, イスラム法の家父長の解釈の変更が頻繁に努力子どもの権利を保護するために来て. 例えば、, 多くのイスラム諸国は現在の子供の親権を決めるの最善の利益の原則に従う, むしろ厳密に親権の母親を否定する伝統的な解釈を適用するよりも.
女性に一夫多妻制の影響は、経済と感情的な側面を持って. 研究では、両方の中間の経済団体下で多くの男性が2番目の妻をように彼らは一夫多妻の家族の経済的維持に貢献する結婚を発見した. 女性に貢献 nafaqa (メンテナンスのためイスラム教徒の夫の責任) どの一夫多妻夫が履行しない傾向にある. 先月の支出を考える, 1秒の妻は自分のために、夫は1つだけ-家族の基本的なニーズの3分の1を提供して発見: 米, 砂糖, coffee, 野菜, 授業料, 学校図書費, 等. 社会的現実は、ほとんどのマレーシアの女性は家族の稼ぎです, しかし、一夫多妻の家族の女性なおさら. 多くはこのようなケータリングまたはなければ、テーブルの上に食べ物されませんスナックを作るようにいくつかのコテージビジネスを持って. 一夫多妻の妻の数は"私もシングルマザーかもしれないと報じた。"現在の政府の福祉政策の下で, シングルマザー (離婚や死別) 福祉サポートが一夫多妻の妻を適用することができます, 少なくとも紙の上で, と夫を持つようにサポートを得ることができない. インタビューは、従来の認識を2番目の妻は'挑戦して、彼らは明らかに結婚の恩恵を受ける夫の泥棒'は、ほとんど, 中産階級でも, 苦しい生活を送る.
SISファイルの研究も見 精神的なメンテナンス, マレー長期性と感情的なサポートを参照する. 人一夫多妻常にサポートして夫が適切に練習を以下の場合、それは一夫多妻動作請求 回転, または'は'撮影に向ける: 妻との間の時間を分割する. すべての一夫多妻の男性が実際に彼らを請求する 回転, おそらく潜在意識の認識をクルアーンは、複数の妻の平等な扱いをenjoins反映. しかし、深層面接が表示が 回転 実際には実行不可能である: 子供病気や仕事の危機を落下などの予期せぬ国内危機は、すべての任意の脱線に介入 回転. いくつかの一夫多妻の男性も男性力の寓話の中に閉じ込めているようだ. 2つの異なる状態の妻とタクシーの運転手, 人や時間を家族の間に旅行を失う, 彼らは時にあまりにもそのほかの家族に時間を与えるため疲れていると言う. 時"一夫多妻自分の子供に勧めますかは尋ねた, あなたの息子?"より良い教育を受けた数, プロの中産階級の男性によると, "真剣に, 私はを認めることはできないだろう. これはかなりストレスだ。"
だけでなく、実行不可能な, ザ 回転 'は名簿'を実際に大きく神話と思われる. とき夫は"だから、誰の番が今日はのかと問われた?"彼らは答えることができませんでした, 妻は、単にとしながら"ああ、私の夫は、追跡を続けている。"このように夫のリードに従うことを期待, 女性は男を維持するための戦略を進化させている. 農村部の女性とのインタビューは、黒魔術で広く信頼を最初の夫を忘れていないことを確認するが彼女の2番目の家族を16進数に. しかし、農村部の女性も"と、この過小評価しない. クランバレー地区でも女性 [ここで首都クアラルンプールは位置しています] これにリゾート. 彼らが帰ってクランタンとトレンガヌに来る, と相談地域 呪医."
夫はまた、最初の妻は、性的競争力と整体となる報告. 1つは言った, "前に私は別の妻を取った, 私は彼女が他の要求を行っていると私は疲れていると私はそれが私の心の問題に影響を与えることだと思う結婚としての性的関係はしかし、すぐに少し薄れていた。"2番目の妻をクランタンによると"彼は彼にマッサージを与えるように頼まために'彼を復活させる. ヘル, 私は彼にこのような良いマッサージを与え、彼は眠りに落ち、いびき開始し、'もの'も上がるではないだろう。!"女性は非常に率直にこれらの問題を議論する. 上のいくつかのインタビューの危機に瀕がばかげた, これは事実一夫多妻妻が明確に深い感情や経済的な損害を被るから落とすしないでください, 将来の選挙のための2つの強力な理由. しかし、マレーシアはまだ準備ができて満足の性的関係する権利について公開討論会ではないかもしれません, 一夫多妻の状況で明らかにも問題が.
極東の調和家族の伝統的なイスラム教徒の理想から男性稼ぎ手家族全員のニーズを提供する, SISの研究はどのように一夫多妻制が不安定になり、機能不全家族につながるとどのように妻を避け経済的な損害の間だけという可能性が明らかにされ神話.
MasjalizaハムザとNorami Othamn 14 1月 2010
著者について
Noraniオスマン研究所の社会学の教授であり、国際問題研究所、マレーシア (パシフィックウェスタン)
Masjalizaハムザは姉妹でイスラムの研究や出版物のユニットを管理する (SISファイル).
研究成果は7隔年マレーシア研究会議で議論される (MSC7) in March. SISはまた、小冊子を結果に基づき計画.
返信コメントを残す
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Salaamuのアライクムとして!
へようこそ一夫多妻 411! 私たちの家は、イスラム教徒と非イスラム教徒のためのものです. それは、一夫多妻について話をしたい皆のためです。, または一夫多妻婚になっているか、誰もがいずれかを入力して検討している. 我々は、会社を持つよう. 自分が快適な確認し、コメントを残して、議論に参加. 我々は再びすぐに、しばしばここを楽しみにしています.
ホテル 4 以下!
January 17th, 2010 の 8:47 PM
So does this study in any way impact your decisions to go ahead with polygamy with your husband? It is obvious that you’ve seen firsthand just how difficult (maybe even impossible?) the concept of equality between wives can be.
I am just curious as to your take on this study and not trying to be confrontational or insulting. Feel free to ignore my question if it is too personal.
January 17th, 2010 の 10:53 PM
ワウ, Rebeckah, I think you’re one of the first avatars to show up her besides Curtis Farmers’s. 私は思う.
で, your question is good. I just want to answer when I’m not rushed and Alex isn’t over my shoulders. I’ll get back to you ASAP
これは、オープンハウスです. 必要はありませんノックして. だけで来る.
January 17th, 2010 の 11:40 PM
I’m in an opinion that the SIS are not at all qualified point of reference for matters pertaining Islam … some of them doesn’t even practice Islam as a whole … wouldn’t be surprised at all if the research has been manipulated to suit their purpose
January 18th, 2010 の 12:25 午前
I know this is totally off subject but I was wondering if you know what happened to Megan’s Polyblog? I was a big fan of her and her gamily and her blog and I went to check in and its not there anymore. I think I saw you comment on her site before so I thought I would ask to see if everything is okay.
January 18th, 2010 の 2:15 午前
I heard from realiable sources that Megan’s Polyblog is no longer online, so I didn’t attempt to check her site to confirm it.
I removed Megan’s link from blog friends of polygamy 411.
Speaking of blog friends of polygamy 411, the page must have received indexing by Google. According to the stats on this site, many are clicking the links for our blog friends
これは、オープンハウスです. 必要はありませんノックして. だけで来る.
January 18th, 2010 の 3:11 午前
イブンアダム,
I don’t know anything about SIS, but I agree with you that research can be manipulated to suit a purpose. I think those who do the research probably go into it knowing what they’ll have the outcome be. I don’t put a whole lot of weight on studies like that. The studies are interesting to read and I certainly like them when they confirm my position
Thank you for commenting again, イブンアダム.
これは、オープンハウスです. 必要はありませんノックして. だけで来る.
January 18th, 2010 の 3:18 午前
I thank Chatelaine again for providing us the article, “ストレス, けんかと無視: ザ ‘ノーマル’ polygamous family.” Chatelaine commented under “Polygamy411 Thanks you”, and provided the link for the article.
これは、オープンハウスです. 必要はありませんノックして. だけで来る.
January 18th, 2010 の 12:24 PM
Hera, there were questions about the reality of “Megan”. “She” posted pictures that “she” claimed were hers but two at least turned out to have been captured from other sites on the internet. A lot of people accused “ここに” of lying about everything and apparently “she” decided not to have the blog any longer. Megan’s blog was deleted immediately after one of her followers revealed that the ultrasound posted as “hers” actually came from another blogsite.
ibnu, it is true that almost any study can be slanted however the researcher wants to slant it. That’s why it is very important to read how the study was set up and conducted. また、, “happiness”, “満足度”, “unhappiness”, と “harm” are very elastic terms. They’re VERY difficult to quantify. しかし、, it seems to me that the vast majority of people involved in polygamy suffer higher stress and it is unecessary stress. It is not part of human nature to share well. And there is always the question of the stress faced by the many men denied a chance to marry by one man marrying more than one woman. It is a thorny issue.
ホーム, I love posting avatars. Mine is from a game called Harvest Moon which I really love to play. It’s mostly on the Nintendo platform (nintendo, gamecube, 等) and there are several different games in the series. It’s a farming game with no violence so it’s suitable for me to play when my grandchildren are watching.
January 18th, 2010 の 7:18 PM
I ask you these questions :
1. would you put your faith to people whom you know are not practising Islam as a whole as it should be ?
2. would you put your faith to people who questions what is written in the al-Qur’an & as-Sunnah in the name of liberalisation ?
3. would you put your faith to people who in the name of putting a women’s status at par with men applaudes the action of a woman to lead a mass prayer including of men as makmum ?
If you say yes to any of the above question, then you could take what ever opinions put forward by the SIS (Sisters In Islam). The organization’s name sooooooo misleading
January 18th, 2010 の 9:39 PM
ibnu, if you are addressing me, I am not Muslim. 私は〜です, 実際には, agnostic. I also feel that polygamy is a very unhealthy situation for all concerned. しかし、, I am not here to be confrontational or to push any agenda. I am here to learn from those who live polygamy. (I’ve always been the curious sort.) If you weren’t addressing me, then I apologize for responding out of turn.
January 19th, 2010 の 12:21 午前
I think the whole polygamy thing is just complex and baffling. After all the devastation, pain, and anguish I’ve been through with polygamy, I’m at the point where I’m finally content and comfortable with it. 私はわからない 100% happy and loving it by any means, but I am happy most of the time lately and accepting of it.
At this point in my life living polygamy, I’d prefer Alex remain married to Carolinah, oppose to him finding another wife. I think going through all the initial steps all over again, bringing a new person in, getting to know her personality, setting up the schedule and all that goes with it would be too stressful for me. Why go through it? At least I know what Alex has with Carolinah. There’s probably not too much more for me to learn or know about her. したがって、, it’s in my best interest to want Alex to continue his life with Carolinah, especially since I’m enjoying my own time when Alex is away. My intention would be to encourage Alex to remain with Carolinah, if he were to mention again to me divorcing her. I would not encourage him to find another wife.
Getting back to the study, I thought about what was said. One man said his first wife became sexually competitive and manipulative when he took another wife. かれは言った。, "前に私は別の妻を取った, our sexual relations had waned a bit but as soon as I got married she is making more demands and I’m getting exhausted and I think it’s affecting my heart problem.” That was so comical to me. I wonder how many men have entered a polygamous marriage thinking everything with the first wife was going to remain status quo, that the problem with the lack of sex with the first wife was going to continue. He married a second wife to compensate for his lack of sexual satisfaction with the first wife only to find his 1st wife’s libido was jumped started as a reaction to him taking another wife. It happened to me. Alex wasn’t expecting it. So he incurred an additional pressure that he wasn’t prepared for.
Rebeckah that was interesting about the avatar, by the way. It’s definitely a cute one. もう一度, don’t feel you’re being confrontational or anything of the like.
これは、オープンハウスです. 必要はありませんノックして. だけで来る.
January 19th, 2010 の 3:07 午前
My comment was meant to point out who the SIS are in approaching Islam, which to me are not people whom I’d refer in any matters pertaining Islamic faith or Islamic way of life.
Even if I was of another faith, I wouldn’t be refering matters of faith with someone who isn’t practising or are practising it wrongly, or would you?
So Rebeckah, I’m sorry if I offended you in any way, or even anyone else if that matters
January 19th, 2010 の 10:26 午前
で, ibnu, you did not offend me in the least. I was merely clarifying who I am for you. You don’t know me and can hardly be faulted for assuming I follow a similar belief system.
I believe, しかし、, that it is possible to be too narrowly focused on religious matters. I can understand if one wishes to dismiss the SIS findings based on flaws in the gathering of information or flaws in the setup of the study, but to dismiss it because you feel they are anti-Islam or something like that is not very logical. Mormons do something like that a lot too. They claim that anyone who says anything negative about their belief system (and there is a LOT that can be said against it — particularly against their treatment of women) です。 “anti-Mormon” and dismiss the information out of hand. If you desire to be fair and open and caring about all people, regardless of gender then you should at least read the report with an open mind — there is bound to be information that applies regardless of the validity of the final results.
例えば、, jealousy among wives has been a facet of polygyny since the beginning of time. There is no question that it will always be a facet of polygyny. I am assuming that you are male, based on your name, so if you are thinking about polygyny or involved in polygyny, then this report gives you insights into what sparks the jealousy, 理由, and can give you ideas on how you can mitigate it or confront it. Jealousy is a negative and draining emotion, so people who care about each other do not want those they love to feel it if they can help it.
Now I haven’t read the report yet (but I do plan to) so I don’t know if it referred specifically to anything about Islam. Certainly I don’t think that a secular organization, or one that is of another faith, would be able to give information on how a specific religion should be practiced. しかし、, I imagine that reading about how women feel in the polygynous situation would be good for any male who didn’t just dismiss the needs and desires of women out of hand.
ホーム, I’m very glad that I am not being contfrontational. I have Asperger’s, which is a form of Autism, and I sometimes become rude without meaning to. I am trying very hard to be respectful of your blog and I very much enjoy it. You have written very honestly and openly of your faith and your experiences with polygyny and I appreciate it. While I don’t think polygyny is healthy, I am able to realize that I am prejudiced against it. I am trying to learn more from people within it to try and balance my prejudice.
Thanks for answering my questions and thank you for your insights too, イブンアダム. It is interesting hearing from men as well. I am very much enjoying this discussion and this blog.
January 19th, 2010 の 9:36 PM
@ Hera “Megans” blog is back up. It’s by invitation only.Someone was suspicious of her and googled ultrasound pics online. She found the same ultra sound pic on someone else family blog. So messed up. This woman was pregnant with her twins and posted ultra sound pics 2 YEARS AGO.
This person sent messages to many of the people who were on “Megans” ブログ. She used the screen shot saver and saved “Megans” Ultrasound pic, and that of the woman with the family blog. I’d be pissed if someone stole pics of my kids and were passing them off as their own. Besides a lot started to not make sense about her blog.
January 20th, 2010 の 12:15 午前
Amina,
I share your sentiments. When I saw the copied ultrasound on Megan’s blog, I tried to put myself in the mind of someone who would copy some other mother’s ultrasound, and then call it her own. I also tried to imagine how the other mother would feel if she saw her own baby’s ultrasound up on someone else’s blog, with a long detailed post claiming it as her own.
I have been a regular reader of Megan’s blog. I stated openly that I do not support polygamy, but I always supported Megan. I personally asked Megan to please explain her reasons for doing what she did. So did approximately 4 other people. She did not answer, but instead took her blog down and made it restricted.
I guess there is no point in trying to interpret her actions. She is the only one who can do that, and she chose not to. I imagine she is discussing it with those that she admitted onto her now private blog.
January 20th, 2010 の 2:13 午前
So basically is fake or what?
January 20th, 2010 の 10:47 午前
No one really knows if “Megan” herself is a fake or not. しかし、 “Megan” has been caught twice now copying pictures from the internet and claiming that they are pictures pertaining to her own life. (The other was a whirlpool spa or bathtub she calimed her “夫” made for her.) And the stories of her “pregnancy” are suspicious at best. Dates keep changing, genders are determined by “doctors” long before an ethical doctor would even make a stab at it, 等. Many people feel that “Megan” is a hoax designed to lure in impressionable young women with a polyanna story of how wonderful polygamy is, but as this is the internet there’s no sure way to figure out who “Megan” is and what his/her motivations might be.
January 20th, 2010 の 1:27 PM
Everyone,
Below is the original comment that I received from Nicole on 1/14/10 about Megan’s blog. I didn’t post it, as I didn’t want to post it without confirmation that the information was valid. しかし、, now since everyone is discussing it, I feel Nicole’s comment should also be presented. I posted Nicole’s original comment, 同様に, 間に: “最初の, 2番目の, 第三, or fouth wife-Does it matter?” The post could be accessed from the “Most Recent Posts.”
Nicole, I hope you understand why I didn’t post your comment at the time I received it. I was trying to lookout for all parties concerned.
“HI I know you follow megans-polyblog and I feel greatly that we have been scammed in a way. I know now she is a blunt liar. She posted a picture up of her so-called ultrasound and I found that same picture on another family’s blog at
http://iflifegivesyoulemons.com/2009/01/07/25-week-ultrasound-december-18-2008/
Plzzzz help me expose this person for who they really are, A LIAR!
UGHHH I was so loving her blog! It sucks that she is fake!
and just in case the little wench does delete it here is the proof of her post and also just in case something does happen to the other persons blog here is the screen shot of them both!
http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/4874/meganslies.jpg
http://img705.imageshack.us/img705/3584/meganslies3.jpg “
January 20th, 2010 の 6:13 PM
Thanks, ホーム. Is Nicole Allah4ever? I got pretty much the same email from her. She seems very upset, which I can completely understand. I hope that as shock wears off she will realize that this is simply an indication that “Megan” is a very unkind person and that believing “Megan” in no way reflects poorly on her or any of the others.
It is sad that “Megan” has caused so much strife and pain with the untruths posted.
January 20th, 2010 の 6:33 PM
Just kidding!
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck…it’s a duck.
これは、オープンハウスです. 必要はありませんノックして. だけで来る.
January 21st, 2010 の 3:43 午前
For those interested, Megan commented only twice at polygamy411.com. She commented once under “一夫多妻コストがかかる” and once under “Polygamy-are the Wives Rivals?” You could access the posts by putting the titles in the search box.
これは、オープンハウスです. 必要はありませんノックして. だけで来る.
January 22nd, 2010 の 10:41 午前
なぜ? do you continue to blast her, why not leave what’s been done alone! You all have judged her how ever you want, now if I remember right Jesus said who ever is perfect cast the first stones, I’m glad to see there are many perfect people, bless you, bless you!
January 22nd, 2010 の 12:03 PM
George,
Maybe you want to re-phrase your comment and ask people to lighten up on Megan oppose to taking a self-righteous attitude. すべての後に, you too previously commented above about Megan’s situation along with everyone else. You asked, “So basically is fake or what,” which helped keep the discussion going.
これは、オープンハウスです. 必要はありませんノックして. だけで来る.
January 22nd, 2010 の 1:55 PM
ホーム,
Thank you very much for your helpful response to me over on the ‘the good the bad and the ugly’ thread. I enjoyed getting a better understanding of your mother. It so happens that I really dig her ‘does he think he’s a king’ comment, and I hope you’ll feel free to pass along to your mother that she has a fan among your readers.
George,
The only thing really left over after Megan put up a silly lie and then declined to share her point of view about it with her readers is a certain amount of jumpiness, which I detect, about matters of miscommunication.
The response on this blog to Megan’s style has obviously given you the welcome opportunity to watch yourself playing “imitatio christi” in the mirror. So why not say “thank you, thank you” instead of “bless you bless you”.