一夫多妻 411

私は書かれている “私の旅” と “マイ·ストーリー今日” フォームのような本の中で (上から下に読み), これは1つが正常にブログを読み取る方法に準拠していません. このように記事を設定するには, 私は文章の日程を変更する必要があった. 投稿の日付は、コメントの日付と一致していない理由を説明, 応答, コメンテーターから、または応答.

であることにブログの新しい, 私はポストのタイムラインでとてもよくしませんでした. あなたのタイムラインのより良いアイデアを与えるには, アレックスと私は12月には一夫多妻制になった 2006 (ときにして、Alex “既婚” Carolinah). 私は2月にブログを始めた 2009. だから, あなたは、私が一夫多妻制になっての2年間、私たちの生活について少しだけブログを始めた見ることができます. 私はまだ完全に混乱した (心理的に) 時.

私はこの説明が参考になったことを願って.

これは、オープンハウスです. 必要はありませんノックして. だけで来る.

当事者の真のアイデンティティを保護するために、私の人生経験に忠実に, ここに文字の名前 (一夫多妻で 411) 架空のものです; しかし、, 私の状況, の状況, と経験は本物です.

私はAnabellahです. あなたは私アナ呼び出すことができます。  私は一夫多妻の婚姻にされている, 一夫多妻のような多くのことに言及, 2年間でほんの少しのため。  私の夫の名前はアレックスです。  彼 “married” Carolinah (キャロル) 私と結婚している間。&nb既婚が使用してください “married” 引用符で囲んだ, 私は、アレックスとCarolinahの結婚式ではなかったという理由だけで。  私は、式典に出席した誰とも話さなかった, また私はそれのいずれかのマニュ�Carolinah��照してくださいでした.  私はそれが発生したことをアレックスの言葉を受け入れなければならない。  アレックス, Carolinah, と私は一夫多妻生活, これは合法です。 イスラム教徒としての私へ, すべての意図や目的のために.

私は一夫多妻制で言うことができるか、ここを言っていることは何のためにアッラーの許しを求める 411 それは無意識でしょう, または何らかの方法で欺く他人。  ここで一夫多妻で私の意図 411 人生の方法で対処で他人を支援することです (一夫多妻) それは私に適しています そして同時に、私はそれを発見した 非常に困難です。.

私は一夫多妻でここであなたと共有したいと思います 411 私の旅と答え あなたの質問の多く, として正直にそして可能な限り迅速に.  インシャーアッラー, あなたの感情の一部を共有します, 感想, と私と他者との経験, 同様に.

私は、アッラーはイスラムでは複数の妻を持っている人のためにそれが合法的作ったことを覚えておくことが必要. だから, 心の一夫多妻でご確認ください。 411 一夫多妻バッシングブログではありません。 私は、アッラーが合法的なされたこと違法にする必要はありません。 これが私の闘争の一部となっています, 私は真実と私の個人的な欲望との戦いとして.

一夫多妻制で 411, 私はしないでください, できない, しなくなり、 一夫多妻制を実践する方法を誰にも言わない, また私はそれがあなたのために右であるかどうかについて助言を与える. 私は私の持っているあなたと共有することができます 経験, 自分自身について学んだ, と他人から学んだ.

全ての賞賛はアッラーのためです.

I should give you a bit of background information on Alex and me…the beginning.  前の アレックスと私 既婚, 彼は彼が私の世話をすることができると言いました. 私は細かいと良いだ, but I will keep working.  I liked what I did and the money I made.  I think if a man gives you money, you give him control.  No way did I want Alex to have that much control of me.  I needed to make my money.

Alex and I shared the expenses.  Why should he pay for everything?  In sharing expenses, 彼は彼の家族と友人を助けるためにお金をたくさん持っていると思います. That is what he continued to do-help his family and friends.  I didn’t know Alex one day would と思う 彼は別の妻の世話をするために十分なだけのお金を持っていた.

私は永久に動作しなく, about one year after Alex married Carolinah.  で…私はアレックスの負担とする動作を停止していない, as that would only put a burden on me.  I fully knew I had enough money to take care of myself, 場合 アレックスと私 marriage did not work out.  さらに, I kept in mind that Alex had a legal responsibility to me given by our State Marriage License.

で took my emotional, psychological and physical well-being into consideration before retiring my career (アレックス既婚Carolinah後一年。)  The tremendous amount of stress that I had suffered from living my new life polygamy (年間それを今生きて), not only effected my mental and physical health, but my work as well…not sleeping at night, 仕事で集中することができない, 落ち込んで、ちょうどもはや思いやりではないさ, most definitely took a toll on me.

Carolina had resurfaced in Alex’s life.  I found out about three months before he told me that he was going to marry her.  (She and Alex had been together for a few years or so before he and I met and married, to my understanding.)

Alex advised me one evening that Carolina was thinking about becoming Muslim.  He said he told her to go to the Mosque, but then told her that he would teach her.  私は言った, “[OK]を, go ahead , teach her.” 

On a subsequent occasion,  私がいた having an emergency, and tried to reach Alex.  He didn’t answer his cell phone.  When I later questioned him about it he said, “I was at Carolina’s house.”  も, I was a bit taken back for a moment, but life went on.  On another day he said, ” I wonder what you would do if she becomes Muslim.”  I ignored the statement and, as usual, life went on.

One night, soon afterwards,  we were preparing to have dinner and I asked him if Carolina had decided to become Muslim yet.  かれは言った。, “品番”  I asked him what was taking her so long to decide if Allah was good for her?  Not many days later, he said she had become Muslim.

だから, everything seemed as usual in our home; I was content; I guess you could even say I was happy. しかし、, I did notice Alex was still in his mind, somewhat distant.  And then, spontaneously, out of nowhere,  彼は私に言った, “I’m going to marry Carolina.”

ワウ, I didn’t see that one coming…. I just remember saying,  “も, 私は離婚を取得するつもりです。”  He said he didn’t want a divorce.  I said I didn’t care.  He said I couldn’t divorce him in Islam, as I had no reason to.

I frantically threw on some street clothes and a coat, grabbed my cell phone, and ran out into the street. (I live in a quiet cul-de-sac. It was a Sunday evening, nighttime, and conversations outside could be heard clearly by anyone inside.)  I called my best friend (of 20 plus years, who introduced me to Islam, 私の聖者).  I was absolutely hysterical, screaming loudly, and crying uncontrollably… I felt like I was in the middle of nowhere, looking up at the sky, at the stars and the houses all around. Nothing seemed real accept the voice on the other end of the phone.

I told him what Alex had said. My friend’s response was, “ It’s OK; he’s allowed to do that.”  私は叫んだ, “I can’t do it. I can’t. I can’t.”  私は言った, “ I want a divorce.”  He said I had no reason to divorce him.  He said I couldn’t divorce him just because I didn’t like Allah’s decision.  He said I had to try to accept Allah’s decision and if I couldn’t, he would help me get a divorce.  He told me to stop crying.  かれは言った。, “Go back inside, and don’t let him see you crying.”

[OK]を, so now I knew he was going to have an extra wife. Alex and I were going to be part and parcel of polygamy. 翌朝、アレックスは出勤途中に私を呼んで, to check on me.  He said his stomach had been in knots and still was, 彼が運転していたとして. 私は多くのその時点で麻痺感きれいだった, from what I could remember. 

一日かそこらへ, 拒否の状態で, 私は尋ねた Alex if he was really going to marry Carolinah. He said yes, 私は、彼がそのようなことについて子供と思った場合、質問. It was now the end of Nov. で asked when he might do it. かれは言った。, “1月に. またはFeb.” 

On  a later day, 私は尋ねた Alex to give me more time, それはあまりにも多くいたように, 速すぎる. I needed more time への digest it all. かれは言った。, “品番”  He said delaying it would be like pulling a band-aid off a wound. それはすぐにそれをしてもらい、それを上に存在したほうがよいだろう, he said. 

言うまでもなく、, 私は取り乱しと落ち込んでいた. I spoke with my wali about it. 彼は私が心配するのはお勧めしません, as only Allah SWT knew whether it was actually going to happen or not. The thought that it might not happen comforted me.

そしてある日, soon afterwards, で received a phone call from Alex while I was at work.  With a bit of excitement in his voice, he said the wali for Carolinah advised him that she was ready and the wedding could take place. Alex said he set the date for mid Dec. (He gave me the exact date).  I was totally unprepared for the marriage, unprepared for polygamy in my life to take place so soon. After All, he had said it would take place in either Jan. またはFeb.  

多くの日が続くために, I continued to ask Alex to give me more time and not do it so quickly.  I asked if  he would wait until Aug. またはSept. 状況を受け入れるように私に時間を与えるために. かれは言った。, “No”. 私はより多くの時間を何度も嘆願し始めた, 私は懇願された実現するまで. I again asked him if I was going to meet her.  He said no, 彼は、私はそれを停止しようとすることを恐れていたように.

I spoke to a few people about how Alex had denied me more time.  One person said he treated me like a ”しかし。” My oldest sister said, それがあった like he had given me a huge piece of steak and made me swallow it, かむと私にチャンスを与えることなく、.

だから, 現在、…what do で 行う? 一夫多妻制はすぐに私のために現実をより多くなっていた.

アレックス advised me, before and after he married 私, 彼は一夫多妻制には興味を持っていたこと. Now things changed and he was going to marry Carolinah. もちろんの, I had questions.

アレックスがいた already said when his marriage to Carolinah would take place. I asked Alex if he loved Carolinah。  かれは言った。, “私は彼女の気になる。”  When I first realized Alex was seeing Carolinah again, he had told me that she “comforted” him. One of my sisters looked at a photo that I had shown her of Carolinah and said, “彼 (アレックス) reeeeeal悲しいされている必要があります。”  

Alex gave me various replies at varying times about why he was going to marry Carolinah. Some of the reason he gave were: She needed help. He said the only way he could help her and be around her was by being married to her. He said she had a teenage son that she needed help with. Alex だ Carolinah was a nice person and people were taking advantage of her; 人は彼女の家に滞在していた, and wouldn’t leave.  Alex, 別の機会に, said he needed to feel needed.

私はここで物語の中で先走りのビットを取得しています, しかし、 approximately a couple months after he had married Carolinah, 氏 said he 彼女の結婚 ため she wanted sex. I asked him if he was paying her mortgage.  He said he was paying half her mortgage (her mortgage was one of those no money down, balloon type mortgages that doubled or something like that.)

The weeks and days before my forthcoming experience と polygamy came rapidly, sparking within me various feelings and emotions. 私は彼がやろうとしていたものにアレックスで非常に怒っていた…一夫多妻?  

夕方には彼が家に着いたときに, 私はranted、私が絶賛. 私は肺の上から彼を怒ら, ひわいな言葉を噴出. 私はここでそれらの単語やフレーズを繰り返すことはできません, としての they are totally inappropriate. I’m sure you could imagine what they were.  

時々 when he was watching TV or was on the computer, I’d rush right in from another room and explode-from a distance. I never got too close.  I’d leave the room, 再び, と then would rush back. 私はこの繰り返しでした. I kept physical distance from Alex, 怒りの私の発作時に, fearing he’d clobber me and I’d end up laid out on the floor. 怒りの私の状態でも、, 私は怖かった, 遠く自分の行動や行動を取る望んでいない. 私のようにした “狂気の女性。”  I’m sure the neighbors heard.  (私がいた totally mortified and humilitated; 私はうれしいです、彼らは移動しました。)

アレックスは私の怒りに反応しない. 彼はちょうど彼がやっていた何をしている続き, as though I wasn’t even there.  I don’t know how he did it.  I mean this went on throughout the night, 多くの夜, 毎晩?  I went on and on about how Carolinah just wanted his money and wanted sex. How she nor he knew anything about Islam. それはどうだったブラインドリード. How he was going to practice polygamy just to hurt me, as I had hurt him by not living our lives the way he wanted 私には.

他の回で, I became reasonable. I actually began to get to know Alex better. I had an underlying motive.  I’m sure Carolinah thought she was very special right about now. The two of them were preparing psychologically and physically for their steamy, hot encounters.  も, それが今より良い夫を知るために私の時間だった…再火災や発火する, 私はおそらく言う必要があります, ignite it, as I don’t think it had ever been lit to begin with.

 And that is what I did.

これは、ほぼ5年間、私は本当に自分自身を知らなかったのは驚くべきことだ, また私は私の夫アレックスを知っていた. 私は自己吸収された, 自己あからさまな傲慢で中心. I hadn’t taken any significant time to know Alex.  I focused primarily on what he did and didn’t do, 私は自分のニーズとウォンツ, and my likes and dislikes. Alex had almost been superficial to me.

私にとっては, polygamy was and is a humbling experience.  I never, ever dreamed Alex would consider polygamy. I used to come home and tell him stories about people in neighboring communities who were polygamous, and were getting divorced.  He even told me a couple of similar stories. 

A problem arose with realizing polygamy in my life. I now began to attach myself and focus too much attention on Alex. I swung far, way over to the opposite side.  Although I was still staying conscious of Allah SWT, I had now になる much too attentive to Alex. 

My Wakeel kept telling me, “What you chase runs from you. What you run from chases you. That is what a chase is all about.” My wakeel advised me time in and time out that nothing should ever be more important than Allah SWT.

これは、オープンハウスです. 必要はありませんノックして. だけで来る.

As the date for the marriage drew closer, I felt a need to have more details about it from Alex. だから, 私は尋ねた.  

I already knew the date the marriage was going to take place. They scheduled it for a weekday, the beginning of the week. He said he was going to go to work the day of the marriage and it would take place after the Maghrib prayer, at a Masjid in Carolinah’s hometown. I asked if afterwards they were going to go on a “Honeymoon.” かれは言った。, ない; they were going to go away sometime during the next year. It didn’t seem すべてで romantic or glamorous to me and that made me feel much より良い。 

Carolinah didn’t live in the same geographical location as me, which made me feel much better as well.  ものの, she didn’t live very, very far away, she was far enough away from me.   

Alex and I had revived the passion in our marriage or I should say brought alive passion that hadn’t existed before.  We now had a really nice connection. It felt like I had just met him.  Alex could very well say he was beginning new lives, one with Carolinah and one with me, simultaneously. 

He said he would stay four days with her and then would come back home.  I thought she was only supposed to get three days, but I didn’t bother to check it out or squabble about it. 

It didn’t feel that weird to me either, then, としての it wouldn’t be the first time he was going to be with Carolinah…remember, they were together for a couple of years or so before he and I got married.  Maybe once they resumed the relationship he’d remember why he didn’t marry her to begin with (笑顔).  申し訳ありません!  That was way harsh.