One of our very special commentators, ummof4, the other day, reminded us to love Allah more than ourselves, our husbands or our children. It’s something that we can never receive too many reminders of. We should love Allah more than anyone or anything.
There are many Ayat (verses, signs) in the Holy Quran in which Allah warns us against loving anyone more than Him. In one Ayah in particular, Allah says, “Say: If it be that your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your mates, or your kindred; the wealth that ye have gained; the commerce in which ye fear a decline; or the dwellings in which ye delight – are dearer to you than Allah, or His Messenger, or the striving in His cause then wait until Allah brings about His decision: and Allah guides not the rebellious.” Quran: Surah 9, Ayah 24
I check my thoughts, which is how I check myself to see whether I’m more in tune to someone or something else other than Allah. It is an easy test that I take. If I find my mind is on my husband or something else, my mind is not on Allah. It is possible to do physical things and still remain conscious of Allah at the same time. We can remember Allah while our minds are on other things, as well.
A person can do something for a spouse, and not get blessings for it. For instance, a wife may do something nice that her husband would like, such as cook his favorite dinner, but she is not conscious of Allah while she’s doing it. She receives no barakats (blessings) for preparing the dinner. If Allah swt is not in her thoughts while she prepares the dinner, serve it, wash the dishes, etc., she has done all of it to seek her husband’s pleasure or her own pleasure or someone else pleasure. It was not done to seek the pleasure of Allah. Every deed a Believer does is a good/righteous deed, as a Believer always remembers Allah.
Where does obedience to a husband come in? Obedience to a husband is a duty of a wife, if the husband is a Believer. A woman who is obedient to Allah is a righteous woman who obeys her believing husband. Before a woman can obey her husband, she has to obey Allah. If a woman does not obey Allah, she is incapable of obeying her husband. If her husband does not obey Allah, she should not obey him. It’s the bottom line.
Allah swt in Ayat in the Holy Quran tells us not to listen to or obey anyone who does not remember Him. Therefore, if a husband is not a Believer, the wife is not expected to obey him. Allah swt tells us to judge with what he has given us – the Quran. A judgement call is in order
This is an open house. No need to knock. Just come on in.