Polygamy 411

Are you a “secret wife?”  If you are, why? Does a man commit shirk when he marries a woman and make her a secret wife?  My understanding of shirk, for those unfamiliar with the term, is associating any created thing or human being with the Creator – Allah. Shirk is unforgivable!

“Secret wives” is undoubtedly an interesting topic. If polygamy in Islam is permissible, why make a wife a secret?  In earlier posts we briefly touched upon reasons for the secrecy. The reasons were: The husband’s parent(s) didn’t approve of the wife that the husband selected or the husband’s first wife didn’t approve of polygamy, and wouldn’t accept it.  The husband, therefore, makes the other wife a secret.

Firstly, we must assume that the husband accepts polygamy as being permissible in Islam, which is why he engaged in polygamy in the first place.  If a man has acted upon his right to engage in polygamy, then why does he let the fear of repercussions from his parent(s) or his recognized wife prevent him from dealing with his other wife in a fair and just way? Why must she be a secret? Why not let her be recognized, be rightfully known, and be respected as a wife?

In secret wives situations, it seems the husband fears man (human being), in this case meaning his parent(s) or the recognized wife more than he fears his Creator. Does the husband place his recognized wife and/or his parent(s) above or equal with his Creator when he concerns himself with pleasing his recognized wife and parent(s) while depriving his secret wife of her right to be known and respected as a wife in Islam? The husband that has a secret wife should ask himself, “Who do I serve?”   

Who does he fear?  Does he fear his parent(s), his recognized wife or his Creator?  It appears the husband fears his parent(s) or recognized wife more than he fears his Creator when he has a secret wife. In that case, does the husband commit the unforgivable sin of shirk?

I think it becomes a tricky situation when the man makes unlawful what his Creator has made lawful for him. The man who hides his wife, in essence, has made her unlawful at the same time as making her lawful.  He married her in a polygamous situation; however, at the same time, hides her out of fear of others when we should fear no one except Allah.

This is an open house. No need to knock. Just come on in.