A child has one mother in polygamy when the father is polygamous. It is very important for the child to know it. Some children call a woman their mother, mom or mum when the woman is not their mother. That is the wrong thing to do.
To teach a child to claim as his mother a woman who did not give him or her birth is not right. Often, the parents don’t know it. Therefore, the child probably wouldn’t know it either. Just because the husband has two wives does not mean the child has two mothers.
There are parents who don’t accept that it is a wrong thing to say. They just don’t care or would rather do things their way. It’s clear that they ignore what Allah says. One can either accept or reject the truth. Accepting the truth separates those who believe from the unbelievers. One truth is that a child has one mother.
On the older version of this blog, we discussed the issue of children who say they have two mothers. When I brought to everyone’s attention that a child has only one, some rejected it. I can only state what the truth is. Some people think that their explanation for having a child believe it has more than one mother is just an expression. They don’t care that the use of the expression is wrong but continue to use it. Furthermore, the child continues to believe it.
Stop the problem. Let him or her know that a child has one mother in polygamy
Someone recently came to Polygamy 411 with a question about it. She asked how a child is to cope at school when children talk about him having two moms. There would be no problem if the child didn’t think he had more than one. Would there be?
What the parents and others taught the child created the problem. I have heard people say that children call each of their dad’s wives “mom”. Although, it’s common, the real mom may feel hurt by it. I could understand how it would make her feel. After all, she birthed the child. Why should another woman claim that right?
How do we know a child has one mother in polygamy?
There was a practice in which men used to divorce their wives and call them their mothers. It too was a wrong thing to do. Allah lets us know that a person says an unfair, unjust, and wrong thing when he or she calls another, “mother” who is not. Nonetheless, Allah is an Oft-forgiving God. He may forgive the person for what she or he had done in the past. But, what will he or she do now?
There is a verse in the Quran about it. Allah says: “If any men among you divorce their wives by Zihar (calling them mothers), they cannot be their mothers: None can be their mothers except those who gave them birth. And in fact they use words (both) iniquitous and false: but truly Allah is One that blots out (sins), and forgives (again and again).” Quran: Surah: 58, ayah 2
It’s the same with saying that a step-son or an adopted son is ones own son when the man isn’t the biological father. People should call the child by his fathers’ name. If the father’s name is not known, the person should call the child a brother-in-faith.
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