I often wonder what life is like for a wife with children and a polygamous husband. How do they cope when they are at home caring for the children, all the while the husbands are with their other wives? I’m sure it is a difficult task, and they feel all alone.
Perhaps it is a trial for a wife. She needs to know that Allah gives us trials. He tests us. Particularly, He mostly tries us with what means most to us. A husband means the most to many wives For wives to get a better understanding, I tell them to read the Holy Quran. Namely read it for the real events that are in there that could apply to our lives as we live today.
A wife with children and a polygamous husband should study the story about Prophet Moses (PBUH)
Specifically, she would find the story very helpful in which Pharaoh had all the male children killed and kept the females alive. Allah said it was a momentous trial from Him. Imagine what the mothers of those slaughtered children went through.
Nonetheless, it was not about blaming Pharaoh and his people who killed them. It’s not what was most important. Most importantly, Allah had Pharoah’s people do it. In reality, it was Allah’s act. They carried it out by the will of Allah.
To repeat, we must learn from those stories. That is to say, one must believe that Allah wrote all that happens. All are quick to blame people, not believing that Allah wrote the script. For one thing, wives blame the husbands and the co-wives for making them unhappy. There is so much in the Quran that lets us see and know it that we mustn’t blame people.
Again, a wife with children and a polygamous husband must ask herself if it is a trial from Allah. What does she think Allah would use to test/try her with? If she doesn’t think along those lines, she will indeed suffer in the polygamous marriage that she is in.
A wife with children and a polygamous husband could find joy in it and come out a winner
In fact, it could be a means to purify her heart. No one expects her to master any of it overnight. It’s a personal battle that one has to fight. No one can fight it for her.
In conclusion, if a wife focuses on her husband, on self and her rights, she can’t see Allah. Those things are blocking her view. Allah says turn all our attention to Him. He says focus on Him. He says remember Him. Therefore, it’s what we must do.
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