Act Wisely in Polygamous Marriages

wives should act wisely in polygamous marriagesWives should act wisely in polygamous marriages. It’s because sometimes the husband can’t look out for the best interest of all of them. When a husband is polygamous, he not only has one wife to look after, but at least one more. It’s not always an easy thing to do, as conflicts are sure to arise. Sometimes one wife wants something that will benefit her while at the same time it may act as a drawback for the other wife.

Many times, it’s no big deal. Maybe it’s a scheduling issue that needs the wives to compromise. It’s usually just a matter of one wife not getting her desire fulfilled. We can’t always have what we want. Wives must learn not to sweat the small stuff.

Wives should act wisely in polygamous marriages, when it comes to running a business

Although a husband may want to please all of his wives at the same time, he is not always able to do it. It’s why it’s so important that a wife investigate situations thoroughly before she makes her intention about a thing that affects her.

It could be a matter of if she should go into business with her husband or not. If she does it, she should know that he will share some of their profits with his other wife. He will do it directly or indirectly, but it will happen.

Of course, it would make no difference, if the husband and his wives act as one family. It is a beautiful thing when it is like that. When the wives don’t get along with each other, it’s a different story. It’s not pretty.

Wives should act wisely in polygamous marriages, as the husband can’t always do so

Sometimes a husband will want to take from one wife to give to the other. We have read of it on this blog. For instance, a husband may want to take a legal Marriage License from one wife to give to the other. He wants it so that the other could come live legally in the country where he lives. He is often convincing about why she should give it up. She should look at the pros and the cons and not go along with her husband’s wishes blindly. To give in would not necessarily make him love her more.

A husband who wants his legal wife to sign off that she will not receive his pension so that neither wife will get it, is another example. She would be foolish to do such a thing, when she has been legally married to him and to receive his pension is her right.

In conclusion, a wife needs to look after her own interests. She could have someone who cares for her other than her husband do it for her, as well. When it comes to important matters and he has more than one wife, she shouldn’t rely solely on her husband. Be a wise wife! Investigate and don’t act in haste.

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wives should act wisely in polygamous marriages

wise should act wisely in polygamous marriages

 

2 Comments

  • anabellah

    November 30, 2017

    @Mari2,

    Thank you for imputing on the topic. I think you’re absolutely correct that a husband has just as big of a part to play in a polygamous marriage with regard to acting wisely and with fairness towards his wives as the wives do in looking out for their own best interest. It’s just that each wife has herself to concern herself with (including concern for her children, as well). She’s one person, whereas her husband has himself to think of as well as two or more wives. Many times, he may think of himself first and foremost. What adult human is better to look after her own welfare better than herself or a guardian who love her other than her husband?

    I liken it to an attorney who represents two clients in the same case. Many times it not advisable because in order to do due diligence to one client, the attorney may have to throw the other one under the bus, meaning lean toward one at the expense of the another. Often time, the attorney can’t give his fullest attention to both clients when he’s representing two. There is a conflict of interest. The same thing happens when a husband deals with more than one wife, It’s not always easy to do, unless, of course, he’s rigid and robotic about it.

    I think of it in terms of what Allah tells us to do, in particularly, to conduct all our affairs with mutual consultation and to investigate. A wife can’t control what her husband does, she can have a say in what she intends to happen with and about herself. Ultimately it’s all up to Allah as to the outcome…

  • Mari2

    November 30, 2017

    @Ana,
    I appreciate the advice that you share here with the wives already in polygamy. It’s certainly sound advice. Polygamous marriage can and is a trial in many ways for a wife.

    That said however, men too should have some burden placed upon them to act wisely when conducting marriages to multiple women as well. Yes, wives should comport themselves in a way that pleases ALLAH. But husband’s too have responsibility toward ALLAH, and their responsibility and requirements to be wise should be paramount.

    Let not the onus of “acting wisely” fall upon the wives alone. Yes wives should be wise, but their husbands should be an example of wisdom and fairness for their wives.

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