We’ve received posts from women who say they feel all alone in a polygamous marriage. They say their husbands were closer to them than anyone else in their lives. Their husbands were nearest and dearest to them. When their husbands became polygamous, they felt lost.
Now that he is polygamous, it is no longer just her and him. She has to share her husband. Furthermore, he has to leave her and their children to go to another family that he has made. Sure, she still has a husband part-time. But what is she to do the other part of the time?
What is she to do about feeling all alone in a polygamous marriage? Some wives say their biological family cut ties with them when they became Muslim. As a result, they have no family. In fact, some don’t have any friends. The friends they do have usually are not in a polygamous marriage. Therefore those friends do not understand what the wives who are in a polygamous marriage go through.
A woman feels all alone in a polygamous marriage when no one understands what she is going through
The advice that she gets from her friends and her family is not always good. For instance, some may urge her to divorce her husband. She may not want a divorce. Besides, they don’t consider that she loves him. Divorce is not easy to go through either. Not to mention, she most likely has children with her husband. The children need consideration, as well. In addition, the wife may depend on her husband financially. What if she has no place to go, if she leaves him?
Others may urge her to step out on her husband. In other words, they tell her to get a boyfriend on the side. Doing such a thing does not help. Men and women aren’t alike. It’s not the way Allah created them. It only makes life worse for her and lowers her moral standards. Her reputation becomes ruined. Most importantly, she ruins her soul. Most importantly, it hurts her chance to enter Paradise. Unfortunately, she doesn’t realize that she only cuts off her nose to spite her face, if she does such a low thing. No wife should take that advice.
So what is a woman to do when she feels all alone in a polygamous marriage?
We are social beings. No one likes feeling alone. Only Allah is One. The best thing a woman can do when she feels all alone in a polygamous marriage is to get closer to Allah. She must put Allah first in her life. Allah is the only One whom she can trust to look out for her. He is the only One whom she can rely on. He will always be there for her when she put her faith and trust in Him.
The way she learns about Allah and grows near to Him is by reading the Holy Quran. Reading it with sincerity is extremely important. It’s how she receives Allah’s guidance. There are lessons in the stories that are in the Quran for us to learn and live by. We have to learn how to apply to our lives what we reads in the Quran. It’s important to know and believe that Allah is the One who teaches.
Maybe by feeling alone she will make an effort to grow near to her lord. It gives her a chance to learn what life is about and what her purpose is for being on this planet. Being in a polygamous marriage could be a means to take her to a higher level. It could elevate her and could help to purify her soul.
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