Let me tell you why I’ve asked the question: Are women who are in polygamous marriages good people? In most talk about polygamous marriages, most portray the wives (especially the wives who married first) as “good” and depict the men as “bad”. The husband is usually viewed as the unjust one who causes his wives much misery, heartbreak and pain.
It leads me to another question, which is, What makes a woman a “good” person? From a worldly view, she might be described as a woman who takes good care of her husband and her children. For instance, maybe she keeps a clean house and take care of daily chores, runs errands and the like.
From an Islamic perspective, a good woman is one who is a “believer”. Allah lets us know throughout the Quran what the makeup of a believer is. Anything a man or a woman does while not conscious of Allah is useless. If what they do isn’t to seek Allah’s good pleasure, it amounts to nothing. It doesn’t count as a good deed. It’s like a mirage.
Many people on the Day of Judgement are going to get a rude awakening. It’s because they thought that they had accumulated good deeds while on this planet. However, they didn’t and, as a result; they will enter the Hell Fire. Allah says that the Hell Fire waits in ambush for the unbelievers.
To answer the question: Are women who are in polygamous marriages good people, the answer is, no.
I’m sure there are some women who find themselves in polygamous marriages who don’t offer the five daily (salat) prayers, don’t fast, don’t read Quran to know what’s in it, don’t eat halal, and don’t give regularly in charity, etc. Basically, they do nothing to worship Allah other than to believe that there is a god who is Allah. Furthermore, they believe that He has a Messenger who is the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). They do near nothing as far as worshiping and serving Allah.
However, the woman wakes up one day only to find that she is now in a polygamous marriage. Then she tries to figure out what to do. She wants to know how to cope and deal with the anguish and pain that she has now, which seemingly stems from the marriage.
People here at polygamy 411 advises her to turn to Allah. Perhaps she does. However, she expects instant relief from Allah while all along she hardly did anything to obey Him and to worship Him. She hasn’t done what He says to do, nor does she believe as He instructs us to believe.
So, think carefully before answering the question: Are women who are in polygamous marriages good people
When we hear of a woman who suffers adversity in a polygamous marriage, we shouldn’t blame the husband. Rather, keep in mind that we all get exactly what we deserve in this life, as well as in the Hereafter. Allah is a Just God.
As for polygamy, maybe it’s a test and a blessing for some, and maybe it’s a punishment for some. Allah knows best. We need to exercise caution when we label the women as good and label the men that don’t measure up to the women’s expectations as being “bad” men.
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