Let’s talk about how desires impact people in polygamous marriages. In fact, I think it’s correct to say that desires are the cause of most of the problems in it. It’s important to note that most people think having desires are good. It’s because we all have them. But there are bad desires, as well.
So, some may ask what an example of a bad one is other than the obvious ones. A well-known one is to want to have sex with someone who isn’t one’s spouse. Another is to want what someone else has or not to want someone else to have something that seems good. I say it seems that it is good, as the person may not know until later that what she envied was far from it.
A desire that relates to polygamy is for a wife not to want her husband to have another wife. Furthermore, she may desire that her husband divorce the other one.
On the other hand, there are good desires, as well, such as for patience. A desire to read the Quran, and to offer the salat (five daily prayers) in haste is good. Wanting to give in charity and to help others are good. It is certainly good to want to enter Paradise.
Desires impact people in polygamous marriages negatively a lot of the times
Most people want to do what comes to mind that will bring them satisfaction. They become angry when they don’t get what they want.The desire may have not much to do with Allah. It may have nothing to do with wanting to do what Allah instructs us to do. Many times desires lead us away from Allah.
Allah lets us know in the Holy Quran that those who follow desire have diseased hearts. Many disobey Allah. For instance, they desire to please a spouse and set out to do so with no thought of Allah in mind. They want their husbands to love them more or want their husbands to fulfill their wants or needs.
Her or his spouse is the main priority. For the spouse has become the other one’s gods whom she or he follows. One shouldn’t try to satisfy someone else desire, if it means turning her or his back to Allah.
Desires impact people in polygamous marriages in that they cause disease in the hearts
A wife becomes ill because of her desires. For instance, she may suffer unbearable pain in knowing that her husband has another wife. It’s because of her desire to have him all to herself, which is selfish and includes greed.
Most people want to do things their way. To follow the lust of one’s heart is to do what one wants and not what Allah says. With that said, how can one do what Allah says if one does not know what He says?
Desires impact people in polygamous marriages more than anything else does. The way to counteract it is to commemorate the stories of the Prophets in the Quran. The way that Allah prescribes for us to live is in the Quran.
Ask oneself if what one wants or what one is doing is the way of Allah’s Messengers and of the Quran. Additionally, learn to scrutinize what you desire and why you desire it.
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