Grateful Wife in a Polygamous Marriage

 grateful wife in a polygamous marriage

A Muslim woman needs to know what being a grateful wife in a polygamous marriage means. Some say a wife should show her gratitude to her husband for all the good that he does for her. The good includes sheltering, clothing, and feeding her etc. Basically, it’s maintaining her.

However, gratitude goes way deeper than that. My best buddy used to say to me all the time, “If a person isn’t grateful to Allah, how can the person be grateful to anyone else?” Most people are not grateful to their Lord, who is Allah. It’s so true.

It’s important for a wife to realize that all that she has is from Allah. All of us here on this blog have a lot more than most people out there. Yet, many of us take it for granted. We take on a sense of entitlement oppose to seeing what we have as a blessing. Rather, most wives see what they have as no big deal or they appreciate what they have, for only a mere moment.

It’s important for a wife to know what being a grateful wife in a polygamous marriage means

Allah, in the Holy Quran, says that if we are grateful, He will give us more:

“And remember! your Lord caused to be declared (publicly): “If ye are grateful, I will add more (favours) unto you; But if ye show ingratitude, truly My punishment is terrible indeed.” Quran: ayah 14, surah 7

It’s about being grateful to Allah. It’s more than just saying, “Thank you”. One shows her gratitude to Him by worshiping Him the way that He tells us to. Generally, we should worship Allah by doing all that He says in the Holy Quran. Particularly, we must believe what He says. We mustn’t forget that we should recall and honor the stories of the prophets of Allah. The stories are in the Quran.

We should keep ourselves busy with the worship of Him. A wife then would stop being all over her husband like a cheap suit; she won’t have time for that. For instance, she’ll stop sweating him about what he does or when, where or how he does it. Until she gets with the concept that Allah is in control of all things, she’ll have major problems in her life.

She can’t know what being a grateful wife in a polygamous marriage means, until she knows what being grateful to Allah means

Showing gratitude to Allah and to her husband at the same time is a no, no. For it is shirk. Shirk is to set up partners to Allah or to make someone or something equal to Him.

A wife’s loyalty is due only to Allah. If a wife is grateful to Allah, it should please her husband. That’s, if her husband is a righteous man. If a wife shows gratitude to her husband, it will not please him. It’s because she owes her gratitude to Allah.

When we’re kind, fair and just to others, we’re doing what Allah instructs us to do. It’s a way that a husband obeys Allah when it comes to his wife. A wife should thank Allah when her husband is fair, kind and just to her. It’s not about thanking a spouse. A husband and a wife get it twisted when they make life about each other. Life is about Allah.

Please comment on this page about the subject of the article only. Join us over in the “Discussions”   area to talk about general interests.

grateful wife in a polygamous marriage

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grateful wife in a polygamous marriage

 

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44 Comments

  • Jasmina

    December 14, 2016

    Thanks Ana for your response. It makes sense. Life is forcing me to be grateful. By forcing I mean I’m appreciating things I didn’t even notice before because of the hardships I’ve had. I’m also seeing the wisdom behind some of the hardships and comprehending the good that came out of it. 

    Im at peace ATM but that may change tomorrow if my husband pushes my buttons and I explode in rage.

    seeing what is happening in Syria and Burma its all upset me and I’m realising how good I have it and that it could change at any moment. 

  • anabellah

    December 13, 2016

    As Salaamu Alaikum All,

    The gratitude post/theme was right on time. I read Quran starting from cover to cover, beginning each morning where I left off.

    I just read the following ayat that speak of gratitude, which we owe to Allah, which are as follows:

    “Muhammad is no more than a Messenger: many were the Messengers that passed away before him. If he died or were slain, will you then turn back on your heels? If any did turn back on his heels, not the least harm will he do to Allah; But Allah (on the other hand) will swiftly reward those who serve him with gratitude” Quran: Surah 3, ayah 144

    “Nor can a soul die except by Allah’s leave, the term being fixed as by writing. If any do desire a reward in this life, We shall give it to him; and if any do desire a reward in the Hereafter, We shall give it to him. And swiftly shall We reward those that (serve us with) gratitude.”
    Quran: Surah 3, ayah 145

  • Karima

    December 13, 2016

    Salam my sisters

    sis Ana Yes thats exactly what im trying to do inshallah!!!

    Allah knows best

    i know i feel so much gratitude cause teaching is helping me in so many ways Subhanallah!!! There is so many blessings alhamdulellah 

    take care

     

     

  • anabellah

    December 12, 2016

    You have an awesomely snowflakey day or night too. I’m in night now. This time of the year is strange. By time I get up, it seems it’s time for bed again because it gets dark so soon.

  • anabellah

    December 12, 2016

    Tunis, LOL, those snowflakes can get people wondering what the heck is going on. I don’t think I’ll ever forget Ummof4’s post about them. I laugh every time I think of what she said. It could get weird especially for people who live places where it doesn’t snow. Well, the flakes will be on the blog till, I think, the end of December. I would love to keep them longer. They add a nice touch to the blog. 🙂

  • Tunis

    December 12, 2016

    Oh I feel real stupid now..just noticed them snowflakes at the top of the blog.   Have an awesomely snowflakey day or night..!

  • Tunis

    December 12, 2016

    Because I told  her  ‘I don’t’   have that problem  !!https://www.polygamy411.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_wacko.gif

  • Tunis

    December 12, 2016

    Just had my eyes examined today and the eye assistant asked if I have any problems like floaters.  What are ‘floaters” I asked. Oh that’s when you see something looks like floating or moving in your sight.  Oh no!  I thought.  I keep seeing something moving down in the blog here.?? Then it occurred to me that a sister  had mentioned something about ‘SNOWFLAKES”..??  Is that what I am seeing???  LOL !

  • anabellah

    December 12, 2016

    As Salaamu Alaikum, All you wonderful people https://www.polygamy411.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_bye.gif

    In my regular morning reading of the Quran, I read in an ayah in which it states that to fear Allah is to show gratitude to Him. In another ayah, I read that we should fear the Fire, as well.

    It was interesting because years ago in an Islamic book (not in the Quran) I read that a Muslim shouldn’t fear the Hell Fire because it’s a created thing and we shouldn’t fear created things. I never got with that claim about the Hell Fire, which is good. It was erroneous.  It just goes to show that there is a lot of material out there about Islam that contradicts what’s said in the Quran.

  • anabellah

    December 12, 2016

    Karima, Wa Alaikum As Salaam,

    I chuckled when you said you’re nice and kind to your husband unless something happens between you two. It’s usually how it goes. People are nice and kind, most of the time, (if they’re decent people) until something happens to set them off.

    You’re right. You don’t have to intend to stay in a marriage that you are miserable in and you’re living a lie. So, as you said you intend to do, go on the holiday with your husband and see how things go. If you still feel so incline, go see an attorney when you return.

  • anabellah

    December 12, 2016

    Marah S,

    Thanks for clarifying 🙂

  • Marah S

    December 12, 2016

    She was speaking in reference to dealing with other Muslims saying “barakallahu feek” or “jazakallah Khair” which are dua’s they translate to (may Allah bless you) and (may Allah reward you with good) would hold more meaning and are more beneficial than the words thank you

  • anabellah

    December 12, 2016

    Mara S,

    About what you stated your sister said, I was just wondering how your sister came to the conclusion that words such as “thank you” hold little meaning. Why down play pleasantries? Hearing the word “Thank you” bring smiles to some faces etc. It expesses kindness etc.

  • Marah S

    December 12, 2016

    Yes, she was speaking in reference to ther Muslims, since we can’t make dua for non Muslims. For example saying “jazakallah khair” or  “barakallahu feek” which are Duas. One wouldn’t say that to a non-Muslim.

  • anabellah

    December 12, 2016

    There is soooooo much to learn. I’ m learning all the time. I love it…

  • anabellah

    December 12, 2016

    Marah S,

    It would be nice if everyone only did things seeking the reward from Allah.

    About making duah for those who do nice things for us, it’s better to make du’a to Allah and thank Him for the good that He had the person do for us opposed to praying for the person.

    Allah in the Quran tells us who to pray for. And it’s not for everybody and any body. We’re not supposed to pray for those who reject faith.

    If we know the person doesn’t know what Alhumdulliah means and we say, “thank you” instead, it means the person rejects faith.

    The story of Prophet Abraham (PBUH) is an example. He prayed to Allah on behalf of his father when knowing his dad was one who reject faith. He was wrong and had to pray to Allah for forgiveness for praying on behalf of his unbelieving dad.

  • anabellah

    December 11, 2016

    Insha Allah, I’ll be back …

  • anabellah

    December 11, 2016

    Jasmina,

    You said, “I used to be very grateful of any little thing my husband used to do however now because of all we have been through I fall into the trap of bringing up the past sometimes and in those moments I forget the good he has done and all his efforts to fix our problems and I tell him he never does anything for me and he’s always a bad person etc. he gets upset, it hurts him”

    Who were you “grateful” to? I don’t quite know based on the way that you worded your post. Were you grateful to Allah or were your grateful to your husband?

    If you were grateful to Allah, then you wouldn’t accuse your husband of having never done anything good or make him seem that he was a bad person. Being grateful to Allah means you know that the good your husband did came from Allah. It wouldn’t be that easy for you to forget it.

    Now, on the other hand, if you were grateful to your husband for something good that you thought he did, the gratitude is only momentary. It lasts only when you get what you got that you liked. That type of happiness is temporarily. It doesn’t last.

    A person can’t make you happy. Only Allah can. If you believe the good is from Allah then you won’t forget it.

    To say Alhumdulliah (all praise is due to Allah) and mean it, means all praise is due to Allah under any condition and circumstance. It’s easy to say, Alhumdulliah when things are going our way. Do we say it when things aren’t? Allah decided all of it, so it should all be Allhudulliah. Allah knows whether there is sincerity behind the words when we utter them.

    We all are ungrateful at times. We all sin. It’s important to realize that we are ungrateful and ask Allah to make us grateful. Ask Allah to make us patience, constant, grateful and appreciative. We should be grateful and appreciative to Allah by humbling ourselves to Him, by bowing down in worship to him …

  • anabellah

    December 11, 2016

    Jasmina,

    You said, “To me gratitude is being appreciative of what you have and not complaining of what u don’t have etc. maybe that’s more contentment.”

    When a person is grateful to Allah, the person doesn’t complain. A person can’t be grateful to Allah and complain at the same time. Complaining basically boils down to being displeased with Allah. A complaint is the same as dissatisfaction. So, it does have something to do with contentment. It’s a sign of discontentment when one complains. The discontentment is towards Allah; although the person thinks she is directing it towards her husband or others. Remember, the husband and others are only carrying out Allah’s decree. So, she’s really discontented with what Allah has decided when she complains.

    For instance, when the husband comes home late (the wife’s determination as to what late is), she is upset and displeased. She complains to him when he arrives. She’s really displeased with Allah although she doesn’t know it. Allah brought the husband home when He decided. So basically complaining is not liking what Allah does or makes happen.

  • anabellah

    December 11, 2016

    Jasmina,

    Your post is a bit complex because a few topics are mixed together. So, I’ll try to separate them.

    If I understand correctly, you’ve basically said that sometimes you accuse your husband of not having done anything for you and you make it seem that he is a bad person.

    It appears you react to him that way because you are displeased with him. You’re displeased because at the time he’s not behaving the way that you think he should or you’d prefer him to.

    You’re not realizing that your husband is doing what Allah has written for him to do. If you realized that Allah willed him to do the things that he was doing, you wouldn’t get upset with him OR if you get upset, you’d bring Allah to remembrance and you would then be okay.

    It doesn’t mean that what your husband had done was a good thing. He still must account to Allah for his behavior. We all have to account to Allah for our behavior. However, by remembering Allah and that He wills everything, you wouldn’t become controlled by your husband’s behavior. You’d find more peace in your life. Maybe what happened was a test, for you to see if you passed the test or didn’t and where you need work.

    If a person believes that the other person is in control and Allah isn’t, then the person could expect to be upset almost all the time. It’s because nothing goes smoothly all the time. Nothing always goes the way that we would like it to. Therefore a person is happy, sad, up and down, flip flopping all over the place in emotions.

    You make the accusations to your husband because you’re not getting your desires fulfilled. He may be acting the way he acts because he’s not getting his desires fulfilled either. He’s not happy because life isn’t going the way that he wants it to. Anyway you look at it, the focus is on what you each want and not on Allah at the time of the conflict.

  • Marah S

    December 11, 2016

    Anabellah,

    Alhamdulillah I’m learning and growing everyday, what you mentioned definitely resonates with me. I sent this article to my sister and she said something that I found to be a great reminder she said.

    “wouldn’t it be nice if everyone only did things seeking the reward from Allah, and if we all made dua for those who are good to us instead of saying words such as thank you that in the end hold little meaning”

    Thank you for the great reminder

  • Karima

    December 11, 2016

    Slm every day almost every day im nice and Kind to H Unless is those days Sthng happened between us. Éven then indont acream or shout. I

    migbt have a sharp tone but thats it.   I dont want to live a lie, and as some of You said i dont have to if staying is making me miserable n losing my self.  

    Inshallah it will improve i dont know yet

  • anabellah

    December 11, 2016

    Sis Marah S,

    I didn’t see your post as being shortsighted. I saw it as a good opportunity for us to speak about a topic that is super important, because it affect our lives daily. You brought up quite a few important points in your post. One was about faultfinding. In the Quran, Allah specifically addresses faultfinding. He says rebuke the faultfinder. Admonish the fault finder. You mentioned to Karima that she should stop pointing out the negative all the time. You basically admonished her about finding fault in her husband.

    I agree with you that it would help for her to show kindness to her husband. The way the wife shows appreciation to her husband is by being kind. Allah tells us to be kind. It’s something that He instructs us to be. Everyone, unless the person is perverted or something to that effect, wants others to be kind to them. It would help for her to say something nice to him. After all, Allah says to say that which is best. We’re supposed to say nice things. We’re supposed to say good, positive things oppose to nasty, negative, hurtful things. We all have a lot to work on.

    We need to start pointing our fingers at ourselves and stop pointing them at others. It’s easy to look at others and find something that we think is wrong with them. It’s best we find out what is wrong with ourselves and try to correct it. After all, we can work on ourselves where by others have to work on their own selves. We can work to change ourselves, but we can’t change others.

    When the wife thinks about the good that her husband does, she should see Allah and be grateful to Him. Allah allowed the husband to do the good. It gets really deep and heavy. Allah allow those who are good to do good. Evil people can do no good. Allah rewards us for the good or evil that we do. We get every good that we earn and every evil that we earn. So, we shouldn’t concern ourselves about what the other is doing because it’s based on what is in the person’s heart. It’s a heart that is good or evil. It’s a heart that is pure and sound or diseased. We should just concern ourselves about us doing good and leave others be.

  • anabellah

    December 11, 2016

    I meant to say, Tunis’ Kutbahs

  • anabellah

    December 11, 2016

    Sis Concerned,

    It’s so funny. You’re going to sleep while I’m just getting started, although it’s afternoon where I am. I’m a night owl and can’t seem to get any deep sleep till after Fajr. I’m averaging about five hours a sleep.

    Oh, and I liked Sis Tunis post a lot. It moved me. 🙂

    Sleep well, Sis.

    @ All, As Salaamu Alaikum,

    Insha Allah, I’ll be back shortly. I’ve got to get a few things done on the home front.

  • Concerned

    December 11, 2016

    Ana

    Im exactly the same as you. I say ‘Thank you” because its polite. But between me and my husband or other muslims I say AlHamdulilah, baarakallahu feek, (the praise is Allahs, may Allah bless you) 

    The comments lately have been sooooo good. Tunis has it going on with her khutbas. 

    I have more to say but im so tired,im gonna try get some sleep. in shaa Allaah 

  • Jasmina

    December 11, 2016

    To me gratitude is being appreciative of what you have and not complaining of what u don’t have etc. maybe that’s more contentment.  Thing is I used to be very grateful of any little thing my husband used to do however now because of all we have been through I fall into the trap of bringing up the past sometimes and in those moments I forget the good he has done and all his efforts to fix our problems and I tell him he never does anything for me and he’s always a bad person etc. he gets upset, it hurts him. A few days later I think about it and I try to make it up or apologise. At the same time I’m constantly saying alhamdulillah and being appreciative to Allah and perhaps not enough evident in my attitude towards my husband. Am I ungrateful? I need to hear the honest truth. Also how to go about it.

  • Marah S

    December 11, 2016

    Forgive me if my advice to karima was not correct. I only meant to point out to her if she continues to look for all his faults and never thinks about the good things he does as well as dwelling on how hard she works and forgetting that he works hard too, their marriage can never get better. Also I mentioned letting him know that she appreciates his efforts because I know I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who only ever complains and only ever points out the negatives. I thought it may help if she told him something nice every once in a while. But you’re absolutely right gratitude and appreciation is only for Allah, forgive me for being shore sighted.

  • Karima

    December 11, 2016

    Sis Saira Mashallah You are a sweet person!!!

  • anabellah

    December 11, 2016

    Sister Saira,

    I understand what you mean about digesting and applying. It’s so important that I do it because I’m accountable for all that I write here. There’s an ayah in Quran in which Allah says don’t tell people to do that which you don’t do. That ayah scares me, so I try to make sure I don’t say something that I’m not doing or trying to do or want to do. If it’s something that I want to do, I usually say something like, I want to get to the point where I… (whatever it is).

    Saira, it was nice of you to share the post with your hubby. I smiled when you said my husband must be proud of the post too. I didn’t even read it to him. In fact, I don’t read any of them to him. He used to come to the blog and read it, but hasn’t done it on the new version of the blog (the last two years), cuz I don’t talk on the blog in detail about his and my personal life, since people know his and my true identity. Sometimes I briefly talk with him about what’s happening in the lives of people who are on the blog. However,for the most part, my husband, and my wali who is my best friends and mentor got tired of hearing me talk about what’s happening on the blog. They are men so it’s understandable. It was difficult to stop bending their ears with it, but I eventually got to the point that I only talk to them about it every now and then. It used to hurt my feelings when they let me know I was a bother to them about the blog https://www.polygamy411.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_cry.gif  My wali may ask me what’s going on on the blog and sometimes, I’ll read a comment or two to him every so often.

    As far as writing, I just do it on my own. I may begin writing a comment to someone and I find that it’s very long or very important at which time I  stop and write it as a post/theme. This one I got inspired by Marah S’s post. Others have written posts that inspired me to write a post/theme, as well.

    If I can reach my wali before I send the post, I sometimes do it. I read it to him, as I want to be make sure the post is clear. He always say, I’m long winded and lose the reader with too many words, writing too much. So, I’ll run it by him to see if I’ve lost the reader with wordiness. This particular post that we’re speaking of,  I had included another topic and as I read it to him, I realized it and took it out. Sometimes I’ll read a post to him and in reading it out loud to someone else I realize it needs work lol.

    When I first started the blog (and we’ll have an 8 year blog anniversary in February) he used to help me because blogging was all new to me. Anymore, it’s hard to reach him because I may be writing late at night and I don’t want to disturb him and his wife or he’s too busy doing his own work. So, yeah, I pretty much get inspired and just start writing with the help and permission of Allah. I pray to Allah to help me write what is right and to forgive me for any errors that I make.  There I go writing much and getting long winded LOLhttps://www.polygamy411.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_yes.gif

    Sis Saira, thank you so much for the kind words. I appreciate them. I really love this blog. It’s a lot of work, but it’s work that I enjoy. I thank Allah for the blog and all the wonderful ladies and the few gents who come through every now and again for being here. It’s beautiful to meet so many wonderful people from all around the planet. {{{hugs}}}

  • Saira

    December 11, 2016

    Sister Ana 

    jazakAllah loved it you explained it very beautifully 

    i didn’t just want to read the post and just admire it

    i wanted to digest and imply in my life more  then before but to do that I had to understand properly 

    it helps if I read and understand fully 

    I have shared this post with my hubby and he just loved it and said what a beautiful reminder 

    am sure sister Ana your husband must be proud of your post too 

    do you really think all that when write or someone help you ?

    you speak so much wisdom and some time actully most of time stunned the readers MashaAllah you are beautiful inside out 

     

  • anabellah

    December 10, 2016

    Sis Mari2,

    Thank you for letting me know that you like the post 🙂 I appreciate it. It was helpful to me to write it, too. All the posts help me. The more I read and write it the better I digest it and am reminded. I don’t want to fall a sleep…

  • Mari2

    December 10, 2016

    @Ana,

    Beautiful post.  

  • anabellah

    December 10, 2016

    I was just trying to be humorous when I mentioned a woman who thanks her husband for a gift and then begins kissing his feet. I was exaggerating. If a woman thanks her husband and do all kinds of wonderful things to repay him and thank him while all the time NOT having Allah on her mind, not think of Allah at all, she’s not giving thanks and praise where it belongs. All praise is due to Allah. Allah need to be the focal point. A wife needs to stay focused. There is a thin line between common courtesy and praising another. We have to be cautious. It’s why when dealing with Muslims who know the meaning, it’s safer to say, “Alhumdulliah”.

  • anabellah

    December 10, 2016

    Sister Saira,

    I had to break that post up. It was too long LOL

    On the other hand, My wali’s wife and I do things for each other all the time. She may send them to me by way of her husband, who is my wali. She and I don’t call each other up and say, “Thank you.” I just say, Alhumdulliah and that’s it. Sometimes I say, Allhumdulliah and say (to my wali) tell my sister that I said, thank you. Sometimes I don’t. I’m sure she says the same. We know it all came from Allah and we don’t feel a need to go out of our way to thank each other all the time. She and I love each other as sisters-in-faith. We know we each appreciate all that we do for each other and we know that Allah gave it to us.

    Showing gratitude to Allah goes beyond saying the words, “Thank you”. It’s the point that I was trying to make in the article.

    Being grateful to Allah means to humble ourselves to Him. Again, it means doing all that He instruct us to do from salat; Fasting the Holy Month of Ramadan; reading the Quran and living it; giving in charity; paying the Zakat; going to Hajj; believing in everything that is in the Quran. Belief is very important – believing in all of Allah’s prophets; believing in all of Allah’s Books (Books given to Allah’s Messengers that are mentioned in the Quran – The Original Torah (Law) revealed to Prophet Moses (PBUH), the Gospel revealed to Prophet Jesus (PBUH)); not giving Allah partners; guarding our chastity etc. It’s all part of worship. We must believe and do all that Allah tells us in the Holy Quran. It’s all what worship is about. Showing our gratitude to Allah is putting Allah first and praising Him. He loves those who praise Him. He wants us to give Him full-time worship. He says in Quran not to give Him part-time worship.

    A wife needs to know that everything comes from Allah. The husband is only the vehicle that Allah used to deliver His bounties to the wife. A wife who praises her husband for giving her the gift and want to kiss his feet etc and has no thought of Allah in her mind has made her husband her Lord. She’s not mindful of Allah and has praised her husband for something that Allah did. She’s the one who has the problem. When a wife receives something from her husband, she should immediately think of Allah. Allah gave it to her.

    When I thank my husband for something, he says Alhumdulliah. I say the same thing when he gives me something. We have that understanding. It’s keeps us grounded. It keeps us focused on Allah.

    When people do so something for someone and the someone doesn’t acknowledge it with a thank you or anything else and has something to say negatively about it, it lets the person knows she did it to get a thank you or praise. Ex. If I hold the door for someone and the person goes thru it without saying, thank you. I don’t care. I know I did it seeking the good pleasure of Allah, as He tells us to be kind. My reward is from Allah. I don’t need that person’s, “Thank you.” What good is his or her, Thank you, to me?

  • anabellah

    December 10, 2016

    Sister Saira, As Salaamu Alaikum,

    You don’t sound dumb at all. It’s a very good question. It’s okay to ask questions when we don’t understand something. I’ve read (in some Islamic material) that Allah likes when we admit that we don’t know something and He then give us the knowledge. We have to seek knowledge, first.

    Being grateful to Allah is more than just saying thank you to your husband, me, the sisters on the blog, or anyone else. It’s more than saying, thank you to Allah. It’s not the mere words. When we say thank you to a person, it’s just a mere courtesy. When you’re out at a public place and someone holds the door for you, you probably say, “Thank you”. It’s a common courtesy. Remember Allah tells us to be kind to everyone.

    If my husband brings me something, I thank him and let him know how much I like it. I thank people all the time when I’m out and about. For instance, if I ask someone in the store where I can find a certain item, the person tells me where the item can be located and I say thank you. I’m mindful that Allah had me ask the person and showed me where the item is. Always stay mindful of Allah that He’s doing everything.

  • Saira

    December 10, 2016

    Sister Ana 

    MashaAllah very heart touching post 

    but does greatful mean if husband or any person do good to us we should just thank to Allah alone or the person as well 

    for example my husband get me something I needed he provide me every thing should I not be greatful to him and say nice words to please him to0?

    i know Allah is the one who put feeling in husbands heart to do all 

    but I am just little imagining when husband do good I do say JazakAllah to him straight away and he asked me sometime if he made me happy 

    what shall I say in retern that Alhamdulih or say him kids loving words 

    then when I pray made due to Allah and thank him?

    sorry I sound little dumb I know https://www.polygamy411.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_scratch.gif

  • anabellah

    December 10, 2016

    Dear Sis Concerned,

    Thank you much for letting me know that you like the article. I appreciate it. https://www.polygamy411.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_rose.gif

    I try to write about what would be most beneficial to all of us. I used to think that to be grateful meant to thank the person who it appeared gave me something or helped me. I thought it meant to be appreciative and grateful to people. I thought it meant praying to Allah and saying, thank you for this and thank you for that…

    Alhumdulliah, I learned what it really means before it was too late.

     

  • Concerned

    December 10, 2016

    Ana

    This is a great post and wonderful reminder. https://www.polygamy411.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_yahoo.gif

  • anabellah

    December 10, 2016

    Tasliyman, Wa Alaikum As Salaam,

    I agree with you about the “good wife” misconception. Many wives do get confused and I can see why. A lot of it is a result of wrong teachings by men. Unfortunately, many Muslim women follow blindly, not learning their religion for themselves by reading the Quran. They rely on what men tell them. It’s no different than people who follow ISl. Those people never read the Quran. Even many non-Muslim are aware of that fact.

  • Tasliyman

    December 10, 2016

    Aslm. 

    Awesome article and beautiful reminder.

    I think another common misconception is what it means to be a “good wife”.   Some wives get confused between obeying Allah and obeying your husband.

     

  • anabellah

    December 9, 2016

    Wa Alaikum As Salaam dear brother Musa Mohammed,

    As always, it’s good to hear from you. I’m so happy to know you are still with us. 🙂 I love the post that you wrote. I truly believe many rewards await all Muslims who put Allah before their own desires. I think polygamy can help pave the way for believing men and women entering Jannah/Paradise. Alhumdulliah that you will help spread the article to many, Insha Allah. I will make duah for you and all our believing Muslim men and women.

  • Musa Mohammed

    December 9, 2016

    Asa well written Sister Ana, most of us forget that Marriage is for Allah’s pleasure and once the sisters understand that they will be more happier. Because she cannot and will not ever control any man, including her new husband, because he is the exact same man, maybe different in doing things but same in nature unless he is ok with having one wife , some men are ok with that, some want to help his family and create a bigger one peacefully, but if the sisters only knew the reward they get from ALLAH for helping each other make it out this distasteful DUNYA, they would run to aide their sisters hand in marriage with their family as one. We must remember we are Muslim and yes we are different than the rest of the 400 billion or more people in the world we must act like we love Allah for giving us His Blessing and favor upon Islam, and Prophet Muhammad saw, sister Ana I will spread this article as many times I can and hope we can get sisters and brothers to get a clear understanding of what you written that is so needed to act upon. ASA make duah for me and all the Muslims and polygamous Muslim men and women.

    Musa

  • anabellah

    December 9, 2016

    Be Grateful to Allah