We hear it often in a polygamous marriage. A wife becomes upset when her co wife is pregnant in polygamy. Sometimes the one wife wants children, but her husband does not. He may have kids with the other wife, but doesn’t want any with her. It could be that he tells the wives that he wants no more children, and it upsets the wives.
The wives feel the husband deprived them of their god given right to give birth. As a result, the wives become sad, depressed, and angry. They say the husband has no right to tell them not to have anymore children, nor to limit how many they have. Some think they should have as many as they’d like. After all, it’s what marriage is about. Isn’t it?
What should she do when she finds out her co wife is pregnant in polygamy?
I think the wife should ask herself why she feels as she does when she learns her co-wife is pregnant in polygamy. Why does she react negatively? Is it because the pregnancy is a sure sign that her husband was sexually intimate with the co-wife? Of course, the wife should have been aware that he would be intimate with the other wife. But, to have evidence of it is a different story.
Does the one wife with the most children think she is the better of them? To take it a step further, does it amount to what I call, “the Baby War”? It’s when a wife competes with the other(s) to see who could have the most children. They may try to see who would have the most male heirs, as well.
What will help a woman feel better when she learns that her co wife is pregnant in polygamy?
Many women have said that they feel hurt, and are upset at the thought of their co-wife becoming pregnant. It’s often the wife who married the husband first who speaks of it. It’s because she usually already has children by the husband. The thought of him having some by another wife is hurtful to her.
I can tell a Muslim woman without a doubt that if she doesn’t remember Allah, she will suffer when she finds out that her co-wife is pregnant in polygamy. Whether she blames how she feels on Satan and his whispers or on her co-wife or on her husband, she will be in pain and in distress. It will last with no end in sight, if she doesn’t understand life. She will be in trouble, if she doesn’t know that Allah controls whether a woman becomes pregnant.
When her co wife is pregnant in polygamy, she must have the proper belief
A wife must believe that Allah decides who has a baby or not. He decides when, as well. If she knows it, she will not blame anyone for what Allah has decreed. She must accept that the co wife is pregnant only because Allah willed it. It’s the only way she will not have ill feelings towards her husband or her co-wife. We all need to know what Allah says in the Holy Quran. What does he say about pregnancy?
Allah says, “To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills (and plans). He bestows (children) male or female according to His Will (and Plan),” Quran: Surah 42, Ayah 49
“Or He bestows both males and females, and He leaves barren whom He will: for He is full of Knowledge and Power.” Quran: Surah 42, Ayah 50
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