It’s not uncommon in polygamous marriages to hear a wife say that her husband dislikes his other wife. But is it so? She needs to know that if her husband speaks badly about his other wife, he may speak badly about her too.
What leads men to do it? Perhaps some do it when they know their wives do not like living in a polygamous marriage. They may do it to make the wife feel better and more loved.
A wife should keep in mind that if a man married a woman, it means there is something that he likes much about her. For instance, he may like her intellect; the way she looks; her sex appeal; the way she carries herself; her status in society; the culture that they share or her level of faith in Allah.
Apparently, he is with her for a reason. Of course, there will probably be some things that he does not like about her, as well. Besides, there are things that a wife dislikes about her husband, as well.
Any wife would be wrong to think of her husband’s other wife as a charity case or that he married the other one out of pity. Usually, it is not the case. Even if a husband feels a woman is in need, I’m sure there was something about it that made him feel manly and want to love, cherish and take care of her.
It possibly isn’t true when a wife says that her husband dislikes his other wife
Unless it was a shotgun marriage, meaning a father held a gun to the man’s head and said, you better marry my daughter or else, then the man most likely wanted to marry her. No man just ups and marries a woman whom he doesn’t like. And if he found out afterwards that she was that bad, he’d make his intent to divorce her.
A husband and a wife will have their differences and problems with each other. If a man tells one of his wives about the problems that he has with the other, it doesn’t mean he does not love the other. Have you heard the saying, “I love you, but I don’t like you?” At times, a husband and a wife may not like each other.
Furthermore, some men may simply not understand what is going on. But they feel a need for more wives, be it 2,3, or 4. Basically, they don’t realize that Allah chooses our mates for us.
A wife can avoid getting hurt, if she thinks along the lines that if he stays married to his other wife, he loves her. In that way she won’t set herself up for a huge fall.
Lastly, to stop thinking that her husband dislikes his other wife, she should tell him that she doesn’t want to hear his complaints about the other one. It does a wife no good to hear her husband complain about the other wife.
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