We hear the question quite often. How can women accept polygamy? Why is it not easy? They want to accept it, but just don’t know how to do it. I will try to answer the question, as best I can. First and foremost, the woman must have faith in Allah. It is the only way she will embrace a polygamous marriage and like it.
A woman’s belief in Allah or lack thereof determines if she accepts polygamy with her whole heart or she simply tolerates it. To merely endure it does not bring contentment or satisfaction to the heart. It does not relieve the pain. Consequently, the person lives with the pain because it doesn’t go away.
You will see that most of the posts that I write about polygamy in Islam center around my knowledge of the Holy Quran. It’s important that a person believes what is in it. Because, if the person doesn’t, she won’t get anything from any of the posts that I’ve written.
It’s important to realize that the Quran is simple and straightforward for the Believer. There is no need to read footnotes. Another key point is that Allah speaks to the Believer by way of the Quran. Allah says a number of times in the Quran that He has made it easy to understand and to remember. Furthermore, he teaches and says that He does. There is no need to have a scholar, sheik, Imam or anyone else tell you what Allah says. Note that you simply need to read the Holy Quran with sincerity. Especially, seek Allah’s guidance. He guides those who seek His guidance.
How can women accept polygamy? It is not a mystery
To accept polygamy, a woman must first know what her purpose in life is. Basically, it is to worship and serve Allah. She must accept that all that happens Allah willed it. Meaning, he decides all that takes place. Allah decided when a woman’s husband engages in polygamy. That is to say, the husband and the wife simply goes through the motions.
Also, there is no need for a wife to ask her husband why he married another. He did it because Allah willed it. Moreover, to ask those questions shows disbelief. Rather, a wife shouldn’t get upset that her husband married another. There is no need for her to go on the offensive. Anger won’t resolve the issue. But, acceptance will.
How can women accept polygamy depends on how much they remember Allah
Allah says remembrance of Him is the greatest thing in life without a doubt. It is huge. It is paramount. The greatest thing in life means there is nothing else.
He further says when we don’t remember Him, He gives us an evil intimate companion. The companion is Satan who whispers into the hearts of men (as in mankind). You may think of it as the mind wandering or imagination. But, it is Satan. He may whisper for a wife to get angry with her husband or to treat him badly or to ignore him. Satan is the one that she should ignore.
The way to fight Satan is to remember Allah. Remember Him when bad thoughts enter the mind. Were told to seek refuge in Allah from Satan the accursed. If a wife doesn’t do it, she could expect mental torment. If one doesn’t listen to Allah, one could expect to suffer. It could be in the form of bad conduct or mental torment or agony.
The belief that Allah knows what is best for us answers the question, how can women accept polygamy?
Allah is the All Knowing. He is the All Wise. No one should question Him. Allah does not need to prove anything to anyone. When Allah says something, we should believe it without question. No one knows better than Him. A woman should know when Allah decides a thing it is “word”.
What Allah says in the Holy Quran is the Truth. When a wife accepts what Allah says, she is on her way to accepting polygamy She embraces it, if Allah places her in it or not. Most importantly, she will have victory. She will triumph over Satan when she remembers Allah. The wife is content when she believe that Allah knows what is best for her. Whatever she finds herself in, Allah had a reason for placing her in it. A woman must believe that after hardship there is relief. With hardship comes ease. She must believe it, because Allah says it.
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