Some wives complain that husbands treat wives unjustly in polygamy. Each marriage is different. What should a wife do when, in her mind, her polygamous husband isn’t fair and just to her?
What do wives look at when they say husbands treat wives unjustly in polygamy? What each wife agrees to with her husband matters. The husband may thing he is just while his wife thinks he is not. They have conflicting thought about the matter. The husband nonetheless, will have the last say about it, as he will do whatever he ends up doing. Whatever he does, Allah decreed it.
Let’s say the husband has a younger wife who has no children. The older wife has children. He seems more inclined towards the younger wife. He spends more time with her. He spends less time with the other wife. The discontented wife voices her concerns to her husband. She seeks outside help, as well, but it doesn’t help. What should she do?
When husbands treat wives unjustly in polygamy, the wives become confused about what to do
She has let him know of her frustrations. She has told him how she feels, but he continues to do what he does. What should she do next?
A wife who thinks her husband is not fair and just to her feels so many mixed emotions. When her husband is with her, she feels the marriage could work. When he is not doing what she expects and he is with his other wife, she wants to leave the marriage.
When husbands treat wives unjustly in polygamy, the wives may feel they are at their wit’s end
They think they cannot endure the husbands’ conduct any longer. At this point, the wife usually makes her intent to leave or stay in the marriage. I say she makes her intent, as it is Allah who decides.
If her husband does not change and she feels that she cannot leave the marriage, she may stay in the marriage and suffer indefinitely. Maybe it’s a punishment. I say punishment only because Allah tells us that He disposes of the Believer’s affairs towards comfort and ease. He relieves a Believer’s of her suffering. After hardship there is ease. If a good amount of time has passed and she finds there is no ease, she should take a closer look at herself. Is she not doing something right?
When husbands treat wives unjustly in polygamy, the wives could seek divorce
The wife could leave the marriage. She could divorce the husband, and pray that Allah gives her another husband. The new marriage would come with challenges, as well. She may have children that aren’t her new husband’s children. How will he treat her? How will he treat her children? Some men don’t take kindly to other men’s children. They want the wife, but not the children. There is the unknown. Most people fear the unknown.
If her husband wasn’t abusive to her and she just wasn’t getting her desires fulfilled, it’s important that she knows that Allah may not give her another husband. She just threw one away. She may never marry again. She may have to raise the children alone. The difference is she now has a husband who is there with her some times. She could end up very happy and content as a single mom, and have no husband, as well. Allah knows best.
The wife could stay in the marriage and deal with it as a test. Maybe she will pass the test. She would pass it by accepting Allah’s decisions. She accepts whatever He decides, if to her liking or not. I’m not speaking of the husbands who abuse their wives or mistreat them. I speak of the average complaint of some wives in polygamous marriages. They complain that the husbands do not conform to their wishes.
It’s how the wives view things, if the husbands treat wives unjustly in polygamy
Allah determined the husband and his other wife will do exactly what they do. Allah has His reason(s). The wife could accept Allah’s decision and weathers the storm. She needs to believe in what Allah promises us. She needs to know Allah says a husband will have a favorite wife. She needs to accept that Allah controls the love in the heart of man (mankind). She needs to exercises patience. She needs to perseveres. She needs to pray. She needs to know that Allah has a plan.
Allah say He has made some of us as a trial for others. What does it mean to you? Allah says:
“And the messengers whom We sent before thee were all (husbands) who ate food and walked through the streets: We have made some of you as a trial for others: will ye have patience? for Allah is One Who sees (all things).” Quran: Surah 25, Ayah 20
Allah tried all the prophets mentioned in the Quran. They are our example.
Are wives tried and tested in polygamous marriages? If so, are you passing the test?
Please note: Please only comment about the topic on this page. Please discuss other topics in the assigned “Discussion” area.
Share article on