A wife should investigate a co wife in a polygamous marriage. She should do it before she accepts the co wife into her life. Wives and husbands in polygamous marriages often ask if a wife must accept the co wife. Some questions include: Should they have a friendship with each other? Could a wife accept polygamy and not accept the co wife?
Basically, there isn’t much information written about polygamy and co-wives. It’s not easy to find answers online about it. Although, we have heard often that co-wives do not like one another. That’s putting it mildly.
To answer the question, must a wife accept a co wife, first she must investigate a co wife in a polygamous marriage
The investigation would help her to make her intention to accept the co wife or not. For instance, if the wife who conducts the investigation is a Muslim and a Believer, she needs to find out if her husband’s other wife is the same. Is she the type of person whom we should embrace? On the contrary, is the co wife of the group of people whom Allah in the Quran tells us that we should avoid?
Allah lets us know who we should let into our intimacy, as well as who we shouldn’t. He tells us who we should and shouldn’t become friends with. Furthermore, he tells us who we should and should not love, as well.
The wife must investigate a co wife in a polygamous marriage, so she could make a needed judgement call. To judge someone, we must investigate the person. It’s not always easy to do. There are instances where she does not know enough about the women whom her husband has married. She may not have enough information to investigate. Possibly she hasn’t met or sat with the person to assess her character.
So, she knows she must investigate a co wife in a polygamous marriage. What happens when she completes it?
She may find that she shouldn’t accept the co wife. I used to think that to accept polygamy a wife must befriend the co wife or make a serious effort to. However, I’ve come to realize over time that it’s not always in the best interest of a wife to seek to embrace the husband’s other wife. To accept her could go against what Allah says in the Quran about friendship.
The person could be a means to pull the other out of character. The one wife could lead the other one astray from the Path of Allah. I think this topic is a good one, as some wives many times feel guilty that they do not like their co wives. Actually, maybe they should not. Allah tells us in the Holy Quran to investigate before we let people into our lives.
How should the wife treat the co wife whom she should not befriend? Islam requires us to act kindly to one another, if we are friends or not. Wives should exchange pleasantries and kindness, if the two communicate with each other. When wives are polite to one another and make an effort to avoid conflict, it could pave the way for friendship between them in the future.
If the women are all Muslim/Believers, it is more reason for them to befriend each other to make sure they accept polygamy with sincerity in their hearts. To accept a co wife when the wives all have a similar level of belief could help to purify the heart.
Investigate a co wife in a polygamous marriage before you make her your friend
More than likely with patience and in due time, a wife would come to know more about the other wife. The husband may share something about his other wife through casual conversation. Even if the husband is not always truthful, he may leak something about his other wife. The wife who conducts the investigation may then have enough information to judge the other.
In conclusion, do birds of a feather flock together? Are you friend or foe with your co?
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