There are wives who are involuntary caregivers in polygamy. It’s not her husband who the wife takes care of. She takes care of her husband’s parents. I call wives who do that, involuntary caregivers in polygamy.
Notably, it is the norm in some countries for the husband to go abroad to work. The husband leaves behind his wife and his children. He still takes care of them by sending them money regularly. Besides, he makes visits to them every so often.
Involuntary caregivers in polygamy are very common in Pakistani families. Sadly, the wife ends up being stuck. She is not only left to care for her children, but must care for her mother and father-in-law,as well. Meanwhile, the husband probably has taken another wife in the country in which he works. He and that wife live together as though she is the only wife that he has.
The concept of wives as involuntary caregivers in polygamy is not based on anything in the Holy Quran
There is nothing in the Holy Quran that says or suggests that the duty of a wife is that of a maid or caregiver to her husband’s parents. Nor she is that for any of his relatives. It is an invention. In particular, it is a cultural way of living that people have made up. They have passed it down from one generation to the next. The people who are a part of it are at fault for it. Those “Muslims” have set up a way of living that has nothing to do with Islam. Undoubtedly, they will suffer for it.
Allah never said that He created a mate for the man so that he could have a maid for his parents. She wasn’t created for her husband as a maid or a slave to him either.
Allah says: “And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” Quran: Surah 30, ayah 21
Reflect on the verse above. It is not good to make a wife an involuntary caregiver in polygamy
It’s what some men expect and demand of women. If she refuses the role, the man would not marry her or would divorce her. How is a husband and a wife to live together in tranquility and love when the husband lives on the other side of the world from the wife? It’s impossible when the husband lives in a far away country. It’s outright ridiculous. How is the husband to support and protect his wives and children that way?
There is more to taking care of a wife than just sending her money. It’s not good enough to throw money at her every so often. What good is it for him to visit her once in a blue moon? I’m sure it’s a rarity to finds a wife who wants the job of caregiver to her husband’s parents.
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