Islamic Divorce aka Talaq is Under Fire

Islamic Divorce aka Talaq is Under FireIslamic Divorce aka talaq is under fire in India. In particular, it’s the triple talaq that the country of India has banned. It’s important to know that the Quran tells us that a married couple can only divorce twice. After that, the man may not remarry the woman unless or until she has married another man, and that man divorces her or dies. Polygamy is no different from a monogamous marriage in the need to understand the laws of divorce.

To get a better understanding of how it works, I’ll give you an example: Say the husband divorces his wife for the first time. Then they resume their marriage before the iddat (waiting period) is over or if the wait is over already, they remarry. Later, they find that their marriage is still not working. Therefore, he divorces her for a second time. Again, she goes into the waiting period. During that time, they resume their marriage or after it, they remarry. Note that they have had two divorces already. At this point, they see that they cannot save their marriage. Now, he must finish the second divorce, which was the last one. He must do so by pronouncing the words of divorce once and for all. He has spoken the word divorce for the third time. It is the third and last talaq.

“A divorce is only permissible twice: after that, the parties should either hold Together on equitable terms, or separate with kindness. It is not lawful for you, (Men), to take back any of your gifts (from your wives), except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah. If ye (judges) do indeed fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah, there is no blame on either of them if she give something for her freedom. These are the limits ordained by Allah; so do not transgress them if any do transgress the limits ordained by Allah, such persons wrong (Themselves as well as others).” Quran: Surah 2, ayah 229

Islamic Divorce aka Talaq is under fire, as some men have been known to abuse the process

It’s not surprising that some people take matters out of context. They bend rules or change them to suit their needs. In essence, the men make up their own rules. It makes no sense for a  husband to tell his wife three times in one sitting that he divorces her, and there is no turning back. He doesn’t know how he will feel about that woman in the future. They had no chance to miss each other. Some men change what Allah says in the Quran.

Not only do the men abuse the talaq, they further mistreated the women. After the divorce, some of the women find themselves penniless and homeless, as well. The men threw them out without giving them any maintenance. The Quran ordains for the man to give the woman a reasonable maintenance, after he divorces her. It seems so easy for many people to disobey Allah.

It’s quite interesting that while Islamic divorce aka talaq is under fire, it seems that polygamy is as well. Some women want an end to polygamy. Unlike with triple talaq, there is no lawful argument to ban polygamy.

To read more about the problems with triple talaq, here is a link to the article that I referred to when I wrote this post: Muslim Women Misuse Triple Talaq Law

Please note: Please discuss other topics in the assigned “Discussions” area.

Islamic divorce aka triple talaq is under fire

Islamic Divorce aka Talaq is Under Fire               

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21 Comments

  • anabellah

    January 19, 2018

    Sister Saira, Wa Alaikum As Salaam,

    It’s so sad how so many Muslims misinterpret or misunderstand Islam. Furthermore, one could show a Muslim what Allah says in the Holy Quran and the person will still turn her or his back to it and reject it. So many people have changed our religion. Many “scholars” and such don’t encourage Muslims to read the Quran, because they don’t want people to know the Truth. They want Muslims to rely on what others tell them and much of what they tell them serve their our interests and desires or that of men. Many Muslims never read the Quran. The first thing the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was told when he received the revelation was – READ!

    I agree with you that many women are blindly in love and will do whatever it takes to get the man. They’d go as far as to convert to get married. They don’t convert because they have a sincere interest in Islam and want to live it as a goal to enter Jannah/Paradise. Then when they and the men divorce, the women leave Islam (although, they never accepted it to begin with). They go about badmouthing Islam and all Muslims because of their own failures and ignorance. They try to ruin others and their reputation, but only end up ruining themselves badly. Allah says that the evil plots of other will hem in the author thereof. He says leave them alone and let him deal with them. Allah’s punishment is severe…

  • Saira

    January 19, 2018

    As salamu alaykum all
    Sister Ana and sister meri 2 MashaAllah very good post and very informative replyied
    I cannot say about any other community but as for being pakistani my self I agree ppl in my community somehow misinterpret Islam and all things related to Islam either it’s polygamy or monogamy
    And it’s the example vast majority of people leave bad impression on other community and so called covert ladies who change religion in love to get the man but it’s huge mistke both makes man and women
    I think women is in blind love and do what ever takes to get the man and after years pass things goes horrible for both man and women
    Islam is beutiful way of life only if you follow Islam not to look at tridition
    Sister Ana it will be great if you describe more about the subject u posted as we all need a lot more knowledge in that

  • anabellah

    January 18, 2018

    I’m fascinated by Emmanuel and Brigitte Macron (the President of France and his wife). She is 25 years older than he is. They seem to have so much love for each other. It’s adorable…

    I’m proud to say I am eight years older than my husband and there is no shame in my game Alhumdulliah!

  • anabellah

    January 18, 2018

    Mari2,

    I concur with you about what you said. So many Muslims are quick to talk about what they believe Sunnah is, yet they fail to acknowledge that our beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) (other than marrying Aisha) married women who were not virgin, who were older women, who were of various tribes, all that you said. He didn’t only marry women who were needy. His one wife was a business woman, as you indicated. She had more money than he did. She was 15 years older than he was, as well, and was married to her in a monogamous marriage for 25 years. The men skip over all of that and focus only on wanting young, virgins for their lustful pleasure. It’s all about satisfying selfish desires for them.

  • Mari2

    January 18, 2018

    And I just want to add…while I’m on a contemplative roll, forgive me… Where did the idea that a man is more blessed or somehow deserving of marriage to a young, sheltered, virgin wife come from? Was this the Prophet Muhammad’s PUBH first wife? Was she young? No. Was she sheltered and inexperienced in life? No. She was a single woman with a business and older than him. So where does this sheltered young virgin as an ideal wife sprout from? Judeo Christianity…thats where. Were all of the prophet’s wives young virgins? No. His marriages were not an example of “look at me, I can marry more than one woman!” His marriages were an example of “wives come in a variety of ages, experiences and tribes.”

  • anabellah

    January 18, 2018

    Mari2,

    Thank you much for the post. It’s heavy! I’m going to make a copy of it to have at my fingertips.

    To All: You should all read and contemplate Mari2’s post. It’s excellent!

  • anabellah

    January 18, 2018

    Each Ayah (verse) in the Quran is a sign.

    There will be those who will read the ayat (verses) from the Quran that I have rehearsed below and will act as though they read them not, they will reject the signs of Allah.

    “Those who reject our signs are deaf and dumb,- in the midst of darkness profound: whom Allah willeth, He leaveth to wander: whom He willeth, He placeth on the way that is straight.” Quran: Surah 6, Ayah 39

    Allah tells us not to divide our religion into sects. No Muslim should identify with any sect, as in claim to be of a certain type of Muslim or say another Muslim is of a certain type. If they do, they reject Allah’s signs.

    “And verily this Brotherhood of yours is a single Brotherhood, and I am your Lord and Cherisher: therefore fear Me (and no other).” Quran: Surah 23, Ayah 52

    “But people have cut off their affair (of unity), between them, into sects: each party rejoices in that which is with itself.” Quran: Surah 23, Ayah 53

    “But leave them in their confused ignorance for a time.” Quran: Surah 23, Ayah 54

    “As for those who divide their religion and break up into sects, thou hast no part in them in the least: their affair is with Allah: He will in the end tell them the truth of all that they did.” Quran: Surah 6, Ayah 159

    “Turn ye back in repentance to Him, and fear Him: establish regular prayers, and be not ye among those who join gods with Allah,-” Quran: Surah 30, Ayah 31

    “Those who split up their Religion, and become (mere) Sects,- each party rejoicing in that which is with itself!” Quran: Surah 30, Ayah 32

    We’ve all been warned!

  • Mari2

    January 18, 2018

    All major religions seem to have scholars who feel as though they speak for Allah, like any man knows the mind of Allah? The Jews have the Talmud, the Catholics have Cannon Law, the Muslims have hadiths. And what are those things but mortal man’s interpretation of how they think the laws and lessons put forth in the Torah, Old Testament and Quran are supposed to be interpreted. It’s all about what man thinks ALLAH thinks and that is the fallacy of men. Then toss in culture, tribal customs, old animosity towards other tribes/ religions and what we are left with is a hot mess of differing schools of thought.

    One of the biggest challenges prophets had was getting past the “but why?” or “how do you know?” or “well prove it!” attitudes of the followers. This is because Allah purposely created us to not know his mind. HE also left us a book…the 3rd and final book. The Quran is our instruction manual version 3.0. But humans want to rewrite that to fit their own way rather than HIS way.

    So scholars in various countries create laws that are not Quranic. I watched a heartbreaking documentary about women in a shelter in Pakistan who fled abusive, forced marriages and were hoping for a divorce. But in their culture, leaving an abusive marriage is grounds to be murdered since it somehow violates the honor of a woman’s family. Where in the Quran does it say that? Anyhow, in the documentary a woman who left her abusive 2nd marriage (from the second man her father sold her too) went home because her mother said “you have no brothers, you don’t have to worry about being murdered.” 3 weeks later she was murdered by a cousin. THIS is NOT Islam! This is tribal. But no one was prosecuted because some scholar, somewhere decided that THIS is Islam and murdering women fleeing abusive marriages is A Okay.

  • anabellah

    January 17, 2018

    Mari2,

    You know your stuff! I certainly could not have said it better than you about sectarianism.

    What’s so, so sad is that Muslims (and they should know better) try to get other Muslims to identify with a sect or they label other Muslims as a sect in total disregard to what Allah says. Sadly, they think absolutely nothing about how wrong it is. The people are totally deaf, dumb and blind.

    Plainly and simply, I am a “Muslim”. “Muslim” is what I am – no certain type of Muslim. Allah, in the Holy Quran, says that He has named us “Muslims”. I go with what Allah says. If people want to label me a certain type of Muslim, then the sin is on them. If they want to label themselves a certain type of Muslim, then the sin is on them. Sin on….just as long as it’s not me doing it.

  • Mari2

    January 17, 2018

    Both the prophet Isa (PBUH) and Muhammad PBUH warned against sectarianism. Both of the final 2 prophets focused upon social justice. It is definitely mortal men who attempt to domesticate ALLAH for their own end who complicate the simplicity of the Quran.

  • anabellah

    January 17, 2018

    Mari2,
    Nice post in summing up the confusion associated with what is “touted as “sharia law”. I know near nothing about what is referred to as “sharia law”. I know enough to agree with you about your assessment of it.

    Man has complicated Islam, when Islam is easy if one follows the Quran. Allah says the Quran is easy to understand and remember (for the believers). He says it in surah (chapter) 54, ayah (verse) 17 and a number of more ayat in the same Surah.

    Satan and people try to make out that one must be a scholar or something of the sort to understand the Quran. It’s ludicrous that anyone would think that Allah gave us a Book that is esoteric, and that no one could understand except an elit group of people. Muslims think they need interpretation of what Allah says, because it’s beyond the understanding of the average Muslim SMH. If a person does what Allah says in terms of seeking refuge in Him from Satan the accursed before they read the Quran; they read it with sincerity to learn it and live it, and read it at the best time that He tells us to read it, outloud and in the volume/tone that He tells us to read it (which is all laid out in the Quran) Allah will teach the person. If the person doesn’t believe it, well; shame on the person. The person won’t get understanding.

  • Mari2

    January 17, 2018

    There are laws that demean women in a variety of countries. However many of the laws are while touted as “sharia law” are actually laws that embrace tribal/cultural norms rather than Islam. It’s also important to not that there are 5 differing schools of Islamic jurisprudence and there are sectarian differences in application.

  • anabellah

    January 16, 2018

    Talking about “shithole countries”, it appears the United States has begun its demise.

  • anabellah

    January 16, 2018

    AwakenExMuslimah,

    You said, “Very sad how western women like u dont appreciate ur luck being born in not” shitty” place.”

    I don’t know what you’re talking about when you said “luck”. I don’t believe in any “luck”. I appreciate and am grateful to Allah that He favored me. He chose me for Islam. I have found Allah’s promises to be true. He promises the believers comfort and ease in this world life, which I’m relishing in. I can’t say the same about you based on your post. You sound like one miserable soul and it’s understandable. I get it.

    Tell me something; what I don’t get is that if you dislike polygamy so much and dislike Islam, why are you lurking around a website about polygamy? It baffles me that people could hate something so much, but want to be all up in it, discussing it all the time and finding fault in others about it instead of getting their LIFE. Get a Life that doesn’t involve obsessing over something you dislike/have a hatred for. It seems the logical, sensible, intelligent thing to do…

    Furthermore, instead of talking about banning polygamy, maybe you should talk about making it illegal for men to “cheat” on their wives and girlfriends. Maybe deal with that…

  • anabellah

    January 16, 2018

    AwakenExMuslimah,

    You don’t sound to me like anyone who was ever a Muslim. You sound to me like an angry, bitter, hostile woman who may have married a Muslim man who later became polygamous and you divorced because of it. You sound to me like a woman who may have taken the Shahadah (oath) to be Muslim so she could marry a Muslim man and now hate the man and Islam as he has become polygamous.

    People get from Islam what they accepted it for. I use the word accepted lightly because any woman who said she is Muslim to get the man to marry her never accepted Islam in her heart.

    You sound like a “Donald Trump” sympathizer as well. “shitty” place and “shithole countries” seems synonymous.

  • AwakenExMuslimah

    January 16, 2018

    All these crazy barbaric traditions dimeanishing women( inc. polygamy) should be banned. Very sad how western women like u dont appreciate ur luck being born in not” shitty” place. But i bet if something goes wrong u will prefer western family court over shariah because they r more human regarding things like kid custody or asset division.

  • anabellah

    January 14, 2018

  • anabellah

    January 14, 2018

    Stop Triple Talaq

  • anabellah

    January 14, 2018

    Mari2, Wa Alaikum As Salaam,

    The whole triple iddat practice is absolutely ludicrous to me. I just don’t get it.

    The only benefit I could see in a man thinking he could give his wife two divorces at one time is if he wants to avoid the iddat (waiting period) so he could finalize the divorce once and for all. He just wants to throw her out and not give her the reasonable maintenance that Allah tells men to give the women whom they divorce.

    Sadly, there are many Muslims who have no fear of Allah. I fault many scholars and Imams and just mere Muslim men in general for not knowing Islam, for not speaking the Truth and for not protecting and maintaining WOMEN (not just wives). They don’t do what Allah instructs them to do.

    Islamic Divorce aka Talaq is Under Fire

  • Mari2

    January 14, 2018

    Ana,
    Salam. I have read numerous articles about this issue in India. Some articles even mention that some men are giving triple talaq via text. 😦

  • anabellah

    January 12, 2018

    In the article Muslim Women Misuse Triple Talaq Law it seems the emphasis is on protecting men from abuse by women, and not on the men’s abuse of the Talaq.