Our January 2018 Discussions

our January 2018 discussionsWelcome to our January 2018 discussions. It is with great pleasure that polygamy 411 wishes you a happy 2018. The beginning of a new year is a time for hope that the year will be better for us than all the ones that were here before it. It is a time to think back on the year gone by to know where we need improvement. It’s so we could make our intentions to work on what we need to do to help make us better persons.

An important thing to remember is that although marriage is important, it’s not the be-all and end-all. It’s so easy for couples to get caught up in living a marriage to the point that they forget the meaning of life. Some people search a lifetime trying to find what it means. Muslims should know that Allah created us to serve Him and Him alone. All we need to know to live a good life on this planet with a chance to enter Paradise/Jannah is in the Quran. It has the meaning of life in it.

Our January 2018 discussions with a reminder

In starting the new year, we’d like to remind you to remember Allah always. For Allah says, to remember Him is the greatest thing in life without doubt.

Life is not about remembering a spouse or a child or a job or any of Allah’s creation. We are to remember the Creator. When we remember Allah, we see alright. We see clearly. We know what to do and how to treat people.

I see the Quran as a constitution or a roadmap, so to speak. Allah tells us that it is a Warning. It is a Guide and a Mercy plus so much more. We need to read the Quran to know what Allah commands of us.

A new year is a new beginning. With that said, let us make our intention to help make it the best year ever. Besides happiness, let us not forget healthy and prosperous, as well. Stay positive. Be optimistic. Most of all, be grateful. Be grateful not to a human, but grateful to Allah, the Almighty God.

Please note: This is our January 2018 discussions thread.

polygamy 411 wishes you a happy 2018

 

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38 Comments

  • anabellah

    January 20, 2018

    As Salaamu Alaikum and Hello to all you wonderful people out there in cyberspace

    I’m hopeful you all are enjoying your weekend and staying mindful of our Creator.

    I recommend that you take time to read, especially “The Holy Quran” Read as much as is easy for you.

    READ!

  • anabellah

    January 18, 2018

    I see what happened. I looked for January discussion thread to move Laila’s comment to, and January 2017 was the last one. I got confused because this month’s (January 2018) posts are under “Happy 2018”, not January 2018 discussions. I don’t know if not having the January 2018 discussion thread uniformed with the others is a problem for commentators

  • anabellah

    January 18, 2018

    We Alaikum As Salaamu, Ummof4,

    Goodness, gracious, what have I done ? LOL I moved the comment at Fajr time and was in a hurry. Haste makes waste. I’m on my phone, Insha Allah, I’ll get to the PC shortly to move the comments to 2018 SMH

    Thanks again, Sister Ummo, I don’t know what I’d do without you 👍

  • ummof4

    January 18, 2018

    As-salaamu alaikum and hello to all,

    Ana are we in January 2017 or January 2018. You have me confused.

    Everyone try your best to obey Allah today and always.

  • anabellah

    January 18, 2018

    Hello Laila,

    Long time, no hear from. Good to hear from you. I just found your post from January 8th. You had written it over on the closed December thread, so I moved it over here. Strange things are happening with the posts. One that I had written to AwakenExMuslimah was approved, but somehow went to trash and I fetched it out. Sigh.

    Insha Allah, you’re reading and will see this as well as “MJ” whom you had written to.

  • Laila

    January 18, 2018

    Hello everyone. How are things? It’s been a long time since I’ve been around. Things are going smoothly with me. MJ, I’ve been reading bits and pieces of what you’ve stated. These are my thoughts. How can your husband look down on you when he himself doesn’t have a good 9-5 job? How can he even relate to work stress, deadlines and the sheer exhaustion one would face in a full time job? If he’s having problems with you, don’t you think he should approach you at a proper time to discuss matters? Why talk to an outsider? Being religious is one thing. Being tactful and considerate for ones partner is also important. Running to others and badmouthing our own spouse doesn’t really show ones character well. It in fact shows that he doesn’t respect you and your circumstances. Maybe he should get a full time job?

    Apologies again if I am too direct. But one thing I’ve noticed in men who practice polygamy is that, when the going gets tough they don’t talk to their wives, but choose women outside of the marriage. This is disruptive because how can an outsider understand the complications and dynamics? How can an outsider decide at some point that that the spouse is not doing enough?

  • anabellah

    January 10, 2018

    Saira,

    I think you’re right; probably in him getting away for a while on a holiday it will help clear his mind and he’ll get some rest. Hopefully, he’ll come back with a new mindset. He’ll be able to have a fresh start. It’ll give you some time to take some deep breaths and relax, as well, Insha Allah 🙂 Take one day at a time. Don’t try to figure it all out…

  • Saira

    January 10, 2018

    Wa alaykum Salam sister Ana
    I been so unwell and all these problems were not helping
    My husband is all over I can see that but he knows this for sure now I am not going to take his out side married affair and rather be on side
    He will be going away for holiday and that might put his mind on rest

  • anabellah

    January 8, 2018

    Sister Saira, As Salaamu Alaikum,

    It’s important that you take care of yourself now and try to destress so that you don’t harm yourself or your baby. I don’t understand how some men are so insensitive when their wives are in a delicate state of pregnancy, yet they do things to take the wives through all types of changes as if being pregnant in and of itself isn’t enough to do that.

    It sounds that your husband is all over the place, playing around with another woman or looking for a 3rd wife; although, I thought he was overwhelmed with all that he’s dealing with already. I suppose he is confused, if he’s communicating with a third woman.

    Saira, take one day at a time. You aren’t feeling your husband in your heart right now, but tomorrow is another and different day. It could be the pregnancy talking…

  • Saira

    January 8, 2018

    JazakAllah sister Ana May Allah bless you my heart prays for u .
    When ever I read your post any post my heart come more closer to Allah
    My husband been rude to me one minute and fine and normal next minute
    He is behaving strange
    He fights vd me in a way say harsh things and try to see my reaction
    I am not feeling so well and over tired my self that I don’t have strength to argue for any thing
    He then plays with my daughter and ask her if I hate him or not
    Seems like something is going on in his mind
    What I did I stayed calm what ever he was saying i or txting I was keeping quite
    He then told me he is been talking to one of his x girlfriend whom he dated before me to get marriage and he ended marring me
    She use to call so much and I spoke to her in past and she promise she won’t annoy him any more
    He said she was talking about me and said things that I have told her in past that I don’t like his parents etc
    I smiled and said how silly u are u been talking to her and believe her he said no I didn’t
    But it disgust me he said he won’t ever talk to her again but why would u even talk to any girl who was involve with you and openly asking u out
    He may be bad weak moment and she been calling and he spoke to her behind my back but Allah knows
    I just cry to Allah am so hurt and sick deep down
    May be it was nothing but my heart don’t feel same for him now

  • anabellah

    January 8, 2018

    Saira,

    You’ve got to learn to be strong enough not to care about what other people think. All those people pointing fingers at you and blaming you – so what. It’s what they do. You can’t change that. If they want to make their lives all about you, obsessing over you, worrying all day and night about what you’re doing, finding fault in you and hating on you – so what. Let them be. They are the ones agonizing. Don’t you join them. Be flattered that you mean so much to them that they’ve made life about you. Leave them to wallow in self-hatred, envy, jealousy, hatred and anger and whatever other emotions that have enveloped them. Just make sure you’re not like them. Mind your own business. Take care of you, your new baby soon to be here and your other child. Focus on getting yourself right with our Lord (Allah).

    Don’t try to get those people to accept you. You don’t need their acceptance. You have no control over them. If you run behind them trying to get them to accept and like you, they are going to give you their butts to kiss. You’ve got to find a way to let go and leave others alone to wallow in their crap.

    Allah lets us know in the Quran that we should not concern ourselves with those who find fault in us and blame us for things. He says don’t concern ourselves with the reproaches of others. We need to listen to Him.

  • anabellah

    January 8, 2018

    Sister Saira,

    I understand how you would be mentally tired from warring with your co, your husband and his family. It’s not the time to give up though. I believe you could make your marriage work.

    First thing I’d suggest is that you let your husband figure his problems out on his own, so he won’t have anything additional to blame on you. Stop suggesting to him what he should do. You told him that he should give her all the nights. Well, you know good and darn well that if he were to actually do as you said, you would go ape shit crazy. Furthermore, you know that it’s not what he wants, which is why he is back and forth between you and her.

    Don’t give him any input. Whatever happens, just accept it. If it’s meant for him to end his marriage with you, then it will happen. If it’s meant for him to end his marriage with his other wife, it will happen. If it’s meant for him to continue in the polygamous marriage, it will happen. He doesn’t need you to tell him what he should and shouldn’t do. He’s going to do what he wants to do (what Allah has determine) regardless of what you’ve got to say about it.

    Your husband has made his bed, so now he’s got to lie in it. I mentioned the ayat (verse) from the Quran before in which Allah says, “No bearer of a burden can bear the burden of another”.

    You can’t change your husband or his condition. He’s got to figure it out. It sounds to me that he’s torn because he has so many masters (you, his other wife and his family) who are tugging at him, pulling him back and forth and his world is turned upside down. It’s what people get when they take other Lords beside Allah.

  • Saira

    January 8, 2018

    Sister Ana
    JazakAllah for the advice
    Sister I am so tired mentally from this war and seeing some one always have some issue and easy to point finger on me
    My husband clearly is confuse he is saying out loud he is struggling and he is mentally tired
    He love his kids so much that he don’t want to loose them .
    It’s like constant fight and his mum and family alsways take co side and tell him he should spend more time with kids and other family
    Before their fight he was doing it like proper time table but co is complaining for every thing
    Hubby gave suggestion that he will proved every thing like he does now and support kids but he won’t be able to take any more complain from co and he will stay over night only if he feels like but she is happy to walk out if she want .
    And after few weeks I can clearly see he is so confuse when he come back at mine
    Ofcourse it’s hard for him
    But he got angry over any thing and it’s not same him he look at me as if I am the problem
    Day before he had argue with me and it was nothing major and I said sorry and he won’t listen to me
    He said many things he said his family is apart because I came in his life
    He later said sorry and try to be nice
    But I am not that kind of person who just be selfish and run over him and don’t think about my own self respect
    I said to him the offer he gave to co about supporting and just be there for kids I said to him I want him to do that and not give me any more nights
    I know my self so well once u loose respect u can’t get same feelings I am strong women
    I only want to raise my kids with proud and dignity
    I am so strongly want to do that now
    I was making my self strong before as well and well thinking to walk out but now if he said him self I rather have him in kids life like that
    I am that kind of person if I get told some thing once I won’t let that thing bother
    May Allah make people do respect polygamy

  • anabellah

    January 7, 2018

    Saira, As Salaamu Alaikum,

    What’s interesting is that you said maybe you should let her have him. Maybe it’s easy for you to say that now that you are under the impression that he doesn’t want her. You stated that he says he doesn’t like her body, doesn’t want to touch her, doesn’t want to have sex with her and doesn’t want to be around her. Then why say that he could have her now?

    Do you think that to tell him he could have her now would make him express more of a dislike for her and chase you down? After all, now apparently you are willing to walk away and leave him with the person that he doesn’t want? I could see if you said he could have her when things were going well between him and her. Think about it…. Is it just a ploy – a power play for you to say that he could have her now?

  • anabellah

    January 7, 2018

    Sister Saira,

    You’re doing well. Keep praying and whatever you do, don’t give up, regardless of how long it takes. Allah will make you stronger in His time. Sometimes we’re tested to see just how long we persevere and continue to pray. Allah knows all things, as He is the one who created us. The test for us to see where we need work and how well we’re doing etc.

    You said others are blaming you, no matter what you do. Why are you trying to please people or have them accept you? It’s where you’re going wrong. We all want others to like us and accept us. The bottom line is there are always going to be people who won’t like us or accept us. We can’t control people. Some people are downright evil and hateful. There are some who are envious and jealous. People are all dealing with negativity or bad traits and faults. Some aren’t dealing with trying to overcome those things at all but have accepted it as just being who they are. Those are the ones who are really lost. Satan has made their ill deeds seem okay.

    You’ve got to stop trying to win people over. It’s not for you to try to get people to accept you. Allah determines how people are. You can’t control others. We need to work on ourselves and leave others be. So, they don’t like you and blame you for things. All of Allah’s Prophets had to deal with injustices and ridicule. They were mocked by people.

    Polygamy is not accepted by the masses. Not many people accept polygamy. You are in a polygamous marriage, so you could expect to be looked down upon for it by those who don’t accept our religion (Islam) – our way of life. There are MUSLIMS who don’t even accept our way of life. There are Muslims who have no clue about what our way of life, according to the Quran is all about. It’s because they don’t read Quran. Even if one reads the Quran, it’s Allah who gives understanding.

    Those people whom you are trying to please and have them take a liking to you, don’t give a hoot about you. They are not worth your time or trouble. Be just and kind as in cordial to them when you must deal with them. Other than that, shun them as much as possible, as they mean you no good.

    Remember, just as you are struggling in your life and trying to cope in a polygamous marriage, your co and your husband are as well. Don’t overlook that fact. You can’t do anything to lessen her burden, the same as she can’t do anything to lessen yours. No bearer of a burden can bear the burden of another.

    Don’t try to add to her stress, and don’t kiss her rear end either. You don’t have to bow down to those people and be subservient to them. They are no better than you are. Remember, Allah says the better person is the one who is the most righteous person.

  • anabellah

    January 6, 2018

    I just now realized what “Spirited” was talking about regarding the drop-down menu. I didn’t even realize it was missing till now. SMH. I’ve fixed problem. Alhumdulliah! I need to spend more time here, making sure things are functioning properly, Insha Allah.

  • Saira

    January 6, 2018

    I have replied few but can’t seem to see my post
    Will write again once I get chance may be my phone been doing this or am over tired

  • Saira

    January 6, 2018

    Sister Ana JazakAllah for giving me advice
    I make pray all the time to Make me strong person in eman yet I do feel bad when I started to get those emotion
    I no matter what to do things always come back to me and I get blame
    Worse thing is this time he stayed away from all and stayed at mine and this automatically made me bad person
    I try to comunicate with family even offer to stay in laws in her nights and he can stay alone so no one blame me but
    It was not possible baby took not well and I had to stay at my own place and I become evil in every Ones eyes
    I feel like he is being selfish he wanted to stay at mine for his on relax time and when I need help some nights he can’t stay
    It feels like u have no choice in this marriage
    Worse thing was their fights happen in front of me and it was all said in front of me and then co made my life hell by accusing and fighting in text msge
    One minute she tells me he don’t her because of me and I go in to somebody mind and tell them to stop but I figure out I am not mature I get up set and try to be helping but I forget only help from co wants is to give up on my time and my rights
    I stop my hubby telling how he loves me when he talks about her and say he don’t like her
    I said to him it’s your wife u have sex or no its not my problem and if she have more kids or not it’s again their problem
    I do believe if some days he talks about her am sure he does about me too
    I don’t fight over him or need his Love madel
    Only thing I need from his to stick up for me for stupid accusation and am glad he did
    But am worried for future I can’t win still get creepy looks and talk behind my back about me just because am second wife

  • anabellah

    January 6, 2018

    Saira,

    If I were you, I’d be concerned about what your husband may be telling his other wife about you. If he’s telling you all his and his other wife’s business, what makes you think that he’s not doing the same thing – telling her the negatives about you? You don’t know if what he’s telling you about him and her is true or not. Just because he may be feeling one way about her today doesn’t mean that he’ll feel the same way about her tomorrow. On her days, he may be there doing her day and night – maybe not…

    Perhaps he knows you’re insecure and need to hear the negative things about her. Maybe he thinks you need to believe that he doesn’t love her or want her. The evil in women want to hear those things that aren’t good about the other wife. The evil in them or Satan makes the wife want to hear that the co and the husband are having problems. It’s why it’s best to let the husband know that you don’t want to hear anything about the other wife and his marriage to the other. It helps to keep your heart (soul) healthy or pure.

  • anabellah

    January 6, 2018

    Saira,

    Maybe your husband doesn’t want his other wife to have more children because she already has a number of them. You’re just starting out and are on your second one. Your husband may be feeling overwhelmed with taking care of two wives and children, especially since you are pregnant again with the second one so soon.

    Based on what I’ve heard and learned over the years on this blog, women in polygamous marriages tend to get into a baby war with one another. They each try to have more babies and more male children than the other. The men probably see what is happening between their wives. It’s about who could push out the most babies by their husbands. The wives know what they’re doing and why they’re doing it. It’s apparent to anyone on the outside looking in. You’re pregnant, now she wants more babies. It’s a continual cycle. We need to think about why we do the things that we do…

  • anabellah

    January 6, 2018

    Sister Saira, Wa Alaikum As Salaam,

    The best thing you could do is not get caught up in what is happening with your husband and his other wife. I know it is extremely difficult to stay out of it being that it’s part of the Pakistani way of life – everyone tends to mind one another’s business when it comes to family. Yet, you’ve got to detach from it, if you want to be at peace.

    About your husband not liking his other wife’s body – guess what? It’s their problem, not yours. You don’t have to look at her body, nor have sex with her. He does. He needs to try to figure out why he doesn’t like her body any longer, and she needs to cope with how he feels about her and her body.

    If he’s all about the body and the physical, then you may eventually be faced with the same situation. A woman’s body changes after she has kids. Women’s bodies change as they get older, as well. If your husband can’t understand and accept this natural process, then he’s bound to be unhappy with women in general, unless he intends to chase young women all his life. There are men who enter pre-nuptial agreements in which they claim a right to divorce their wives, if the wives gain a certain amount of weight or get fat SMH. We’re talking about superficial people. They aren’t heavy. They aren’t deep. They stay on the animalistic level.

  • Saira

    January 6, 2018

    As salaamu alaykum all
    Sister Ana I know it’s beginning of new year and but I couldn’t help and posted my problem🙈
    As you know from last month post I was discussing issue my hubby and co having
    I been making dua to Allah to give me sabar and not make me weak to get hurt from false accusations from co and rest of family .
    Alhamdulilah my marriage is going so great Alhamdulilah since am pregnant hubby is so changed person he was good to be before as well but some time roller coaster we had argue but this time when he had argue with co he stood up for me he told his family he been unfair with me over many things since we married.
    Co like usual complain about him and went to family and this time hubby got real annoyed and he said he can’t keep up like that as he pays so much to co and nothing is changing .house is mess kids becoming more and more dependant over him and co been acting so unfair towards me and always try to make him late when he has to come to me and she been using kids excuse
    He said he hardly able to enjoy his marriage with me bevaouse of all family always step in and never let us have time out from all of this
    And he been trying to please co for sake of Allah and fear of Allah but he is of a lot unhappy and hurting him self and he said to him mother he want professional help this time and fix the issues
    He got involve professnola counceler and they had sessions and he was still in same place
    Co is not letting him win and she started telling family and sending me text messages and saying I am making him do that
    For the first time I have replied to her harsh and say to her I will now enjoy my time with him Insted of making things work and bringing kids to be with their father and she said oh enjoy with him in bed and I said of course I always do and will do when ever i can .
    I feel bad about my self I am not that kind of person but I got so hurt I was always trying not to hurt her with my intentions but in anger I said things to make her hurt
    She complain to in laws she don’t get to come close to hubby he don’t touch her etc and I feel bad and I know as a women how hurt full to know your husband don’t like your body
    She then told me she had new contraception as hubby don’t want to use any and don’t want her to get pregnant and he told her not to tell this to me
    It hurt me to hear that but I wouldn’t let her have peak of my intimate relationship but why she doing that
    Now I been told I have to make my self kind of hide from her as she told therapist she can not even look at me she is jelous from head to toe
    Now hubby said he won’t let her face me as she disgust him more in front of counceler
    i won’t be going any where in family function where ever she goes which is not fair
    Right now am quite but if it’s eid and big festival I will go as my kids have right to be involve in family if she is struggling she should not come
    They decided six months to see things work but I feel sorry for her hubby told her he don’t want to be with her at all but he is there for kids and if she don’t change he won’t c them but will still support them
    She have no choice
    I wish I was not her co and was her friend she is running after something which is running away from her
    And it remind me one of sister Ana post about if you run to creation creater will run away from u
    If my hubby tells me how he hate my body and won’t let me touch him and he Hate speaking to me or walking with me I keep my self respect and won’t let him bother
    I now thinking I should involve counceler I just can’t cope with accusation
    Their issue is she is messy and what ever problem is
    And feels like every one thinking am the bad one here
    I just want to think how this environment be for my kids to grow and if any of this affected my kids I rather live alone and let her have him
    I can’t let my kids get emotional abuse if these accusation affecting my mind what they will do in future to my kids

  • anabellah

    January 4, 2018

    Saira and Nura, As Salaamu Alaikum,

    You ladies summed it up in a nutshell. As you said, we Muslims need to be opened minded about somethings and not narrow minded. For everything there is a reason and purpose. For instance, there is a reason for why we wipe our bottoms using our left hands and eat with our right hands – some people eat as a family or group, without using utensil, and they scoop the food up with their hands. Of course, no one wants a hands with feces residue to dip down in the dish that everyone is eating from…

    Islam is not about a bunch of robotic do’s and don’ts. Anyhow, as Sister Nura said, “enough about the calendar”. LOL It’s time to get back to the business of polygamy.

    But first, I’ll leave us all with the following ayah (verse) from the Holy Quran:

    “It is not righteousness that ye turn your faces Towards east or West; but it is righteousness- to believe in Allah and the Last Day, and the Angels, and the Book, and the Messengers; to spend of your substance, out of love for Him, for your kin, for orphans, for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask, and for the ransom of slaves; to be steadfast in prayer, and practice regular charity; to fulfil the contracts which ye have made; and to be firm and patient, in pain (or suffering) and adversity, and throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of truth, the Allah-fearing.”
    Surah 2, Ayah 177

  • Nura

    January 4, 2018

    Thank you my brilliant minded sister… lol sorry I used my sign on name instead of nura… sister Serena thank you for your kind words. We often forget that allah made this different cultures, language, calendars,years months etc… bottom line is as long as we are believers of allah and we follow the deen of Islam what calendar we use or what language we pray doesn’t matter. The islamic calendar exists and we utilize it when it’s important but we don’t run around writing islamic calendar on our form, or check books we don’t used daily peroid all am asking is let’s me open minded about something’s …. enough about the calendar. My sisters in polygamy marriage this is a new year let’s find new ways to deal with our co sisters and husband remember to only focus on your marriage with your husband 👍🏻👍🏻

  • Saira

    January 4, 2018

    Aslamu alaykum all
    And very happy 2018 and May Allah make it bless full for all of us ameen
    I would say All Allah months and days it’s the time of world we are in and English calendar rules and we follow that day today and Alhamdulilah as far I know we Muslim are the one who still follow our own calendar for our holy activities but if we think it’s not our new year and it open up so many questions to us as we can not strictly follow the other calendar as it’s technically impossible
    My sister is a teacher in Pakistan and she told me in most schools they celebrate new year as every own follow modern calendar so living in English countries is much harder to stick to Islamic calnder

  • anabellah

    January 3, 2018

    Sister Serena, Wa Alaikum As Salaam,

    Happy 2018! polygamy 411 You’ve been gone for a while, Sister. I kept looking for posts from you to help me out with giving some advice to others. You give really good advice, and it’s so helpful. Alumdulliah! It’s so good to hear from you now!

  • Serena

    January 3, 2018

    Asalaam alaikum

    Thanks sister Ana for the welcome into 2018.

    Inur

    Ameen to your wonderful duas.

  • anabellah

    January 1, 2018

    I wonder if Adeniyi Mahmud is finding fault in this: New Year Celebration in Iraq

  • anabellah

    January 1, 2018
  • anabellah

    January 1, 2018

    Sister Moipone,

    Happy New Year to you, too, and all the wonderful blessings that you wished upon us goes back to you, as well polygamy 411

    It’s always good to hear from you! Happy 2018 and sending hugs and kisses your way…polygamy 411

    I love what you said about being given this honor called life. I believe every day above ground is a good day

  • anabellah

    January 1, 2018

    Inur,

    I wish you the best year ever, my dear sister. polygamy 411

    Getting back to the calendar, sometimes I have a calendar in my Masalah (room set aside solely for praying and reading the Quran – my Islamic library is in it) in my house, and the calendar has the current/regular dates and times for prayer along with the Islamic dates. The prayer schedule that I used last month, “Muslim Pro” had the schedule only in the current/regular calendar without the Islamic dates. It depends on where we get the prayer schedule from as to which calendar they use, but I’ve always seen them use the current one and haven’t seen any with the Islamic dates only.

    I’ve found that many Muslims make a big issues of very minor things when it comes to Islam. Usually the ones who do it knows near nothing of what is in the Quran. They are so much wrapped up in a bunch of dos and don’ts of Islam but don’t have the meat and the potatoes.

    Here’s an example: My husband’s stepson lived in Morocco for a number of years. He was there studying Islam. In fact, he has since married an absolutely beautiful Moroccan girl. He said that in Morrocco passengers in a car would enter the vehicle from their right-hand side and actually slide across the seat or climbed over the console to get into the passenger seat. They thought it was a sin to get into the vehicle from the left-hand side. I was flabbergasted by it. I’m sure you’ve heard of Muslims with the mentality that you must put your right sock on first and the left one on second second all sorts of stuff like that. It’s what their Islam consisted of SMH. It’s totally unbelievable. It was the extend of what they new about Islam.

    It would probably do some of them good, if they contemplated the following ayah (verse) from the Quran:

    “… It is no virtue if ye enter your houses from the back: It is virtue if ye fear Allah. Enter houses through the proper doors: And fear Allah: That ye may prosper.” Surah 2, ayah 189

  • anabellah

    January 1, 2018

    Inur, Wa Alaikum As Salaam

    Welcome to our blog family, and thank you much for commenting. Your post was soooo beautiful. It reminded us of all the many things we need to be thankful and grateful to Allah for. It reminded us of the prayers that we need to make for His Guidance, Protection, Mercy, and Forgiveness etc. Many of the things that we pray for aren’t good for us. You gave examples of the good things that we should pray for. I appreciate your post much!

  • Moipone

    January 1, 2018

    Happy New Year everyone, may it be better than 2017, may it bring peace, love,content,strength, happiness, good health and miracles.

    May we all shine like the stars in 2018 and may the pain be bearable or vanish.

    May love fill our souls and may be find purpose of why we were given this honour called life.

    Happy 2018 everyone sending hugs and kisses. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • Inur

    January 1, 2018

    ASC to my beautiful sisters… Thank you sister Ana for welcoming us to 2018. I want to start by appreciating all the great things allah gave me 2017… my health , my family, my wealth and etc.. the list go on . I also want to ask allah subhanahu wata ala protection from the evil and the negative in both Jin and insi. I ask allah to protect our souls from fitnah May allah make us the once who remind eachother the qeyr and not the shar. May allah show us the right path. May allah forgive our mistakes and make this new year a year we increase taqwah. May increase our wealth and health amiin. Sister Ana Agree most of us muslim utilizes current calendar event though I have both hanging in my kitchen. I wish you all best year insha allah

  • anabellah

    December 31, 2017

    All,

    Excuse me for being a bit coarse. It just annoyed me that someone would come here and try to rain on someone’s parade about NON-SENSE. I wrote a nice post to remind us all about Allah. Yet, a person comes here to crap all over it, simply because they don’t like the happy greeting. You’d think I said Merry Christmas to everyone… SMH It’s amazing that there are some people who can’t come here to contribute something valuable, but would rather come here to find fault in something. It’s incredible…

  • anabellah

    December 31, 2017

    Adeniyi Mahmud,

    When I deal with dates in a calendar year, the same as EVERYONE ELSE on this planet, I use the current calendar. When I write on a form or someone asks me my date of birth ETC, I tell them the date based on this calendar. I understand there is an Islamic Calendar, as well, as all Muslims do.

    I’m sure the Muslims all deal with the current calendar when they deal with dates in a calendar year. So, don’t be a HYPOCRITE. I’m not going to get all petty about a calendar. I’m sure by me referring to dates with regard to the current calendar, it won’t prevent me from entering Jannah.

    I know to base the two Islamic holidays on the Islamic Calendar. So, get off your high horse. Until you start using the Islamic Calender EXCLUSIVELY in your life, then ZIP it. Shut the pie hole in your face.

  • Adeniyi Mahmud

    December 31, 2017

    sorry this is not our new year and nothing is new about it because this is not Muharram.

  • anabellah

    December 31, 2017

    As Salaamu Alaikum & Hello to all our wonderful blog family in cyberspace. Welcome to the new discussion thread for January 2018. We thank you all for being here. Please feel free to jump in and join the discussions. Ask questions and share your thoughts.

    For those who would like to finish reading the December 2017 comments/replies or would like to refresh their memory, the link is:December 2017 Discussions

    polygamy 411 December 2017 Discussions

    polygamy 411 wishes you a happy 2018