Pakistani Men Seek Foreign Women to Marry

Pakistani Men Seek Foreign Women for MarriageSome Pakistani men seek foreign women to marry, so that they can use them to get citizenship. It seems that it is the main reason that they go after those women, and it is at an “epidemic” proportion.  Polygamy is usually a part of it. While they pursue the foreign women, they have wives in Pakistan already or they will. The men marry both.

I’m aware that some Hispanic and African men marry foreign women for the same reason, as well. There is a big difference though. Most of them are monogamous. They usually stay married to their foreign wives. They simply move their families (a lot of them) to the new country. It is what the US “President” Trump speaks of in terms of “chain migration”.

There have been cases where some Americans have married Africans knowing that it was only temporary. It was to get US citizenship. They both knew that they would divorce, after he or she gets it. They willingly entered a contract with each other. Neither were trying to scam the other. Rather, they scammed the system.

Some Pakistani men seek foreign women to marry, so that they can scam the women

It’s different for Pakistanis when they are not married to only one woman. When they are polygamous, they have more than one family. They keep it from their foreign wives or their potential wives. The man does not intend to stay with his foreign wife, but she does not know it.

When he gets citizenship, he quickly divorces her. All the while he saw her as undesirable to him. She probably was formerly widowed, divorced or was a single mom. Maybe she was unattractive or simply is not a Pakistani woman.

The men do not value their foreign wives. Rather they see them as inferior to their Pakistani wives. They see them as disposable to toss out like trash.

It seems the Pakistani men school other Pakistani men on how to deceive foreign women. For instance, they will tell the man to pledge his undying love for her. He tells her that he wants to marry her right away. She gets swept off her feet.

It is not that the men want to try to live a long and happy life with their foreign wives. They can not wait to get enough time in the marriage based on the law. After they become citizens, they rush for a divorce. They want to free themselves of the foreign wife once and for all.

Using foreign women have become a part of the Pakistani way of life. It seems that it is part of their culture now. They use polygamy to game the foreign women. Polygamy has very little to do with it, in fact. It is just a means to an end. Some Pakistani men seek foreign women to marry. Note that it is not Islam.

Here is a link for more information about Pakistani relationships, marriage and culture

Pakistani Men Seek Foreign Women to Marry Pakistani men seek foreign women for marriage

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53 Comments

  • anabellah

    February 19, 2018

    @All,

    I’m not saying all Pakistanis are the same way. I’m not painting them all with the same brush. I’m just saying that what we read here on this blog from those who have experience with Pakistani people and a lot of what is out there on the internet about them is not pretty. We’ve been getting firsthand information on this blog about them. Other nationalities aren’t coming here writing up a storm about such problems as what we hear about on this blog about Pakistanis.

  • anabellah

    February 19, 2018

    Here’s the link to the movie, “West is West” Insha Allah, I’ll watch it later this evening.

  • anabellah

    February 19, 2018

    Fatima,

    You asked if they will get what they wish when they come to the West on the backs of Western women (wives) whom they used to get here. Well, what does Allah say about what we will get? He doesn’t reward evil with good. He sees and knows all things. A long respite, He says he gives the unbelievers, and eventually comes their punishment. He gives them agony in this world and a worse agony and torment in the Hereafter. They may have periods of good times, but Allah asks do we think He will always hasten on the good? Fatima, don’t think that your husband and his family are getting away with anything. Why hasn’t that country flourished with a population of people who call themselves “Muslim”.

    So much of what they do is not Islam. In fact, practically nothing that they do is Islam. They simply call themselves “Muslim”.

    Insha Allah, I’ll see if I can find those movies.

  • anabellah

    February 19, 2018

    Fatima,

    To answer your question, I think the Pakistani women benefit from the arranged marriages that they are in. I doubt most of them feel pressured into the marriage. Think about it, they don’t have to go look for a husband. The woman can sit back and let the family find one for her. They don’t have to go through a whole lot of men.

    Keep in mind that they live differently than we do in the West. They weren’t raised as we were. We mustn’t look at their lives, as we look at our own.

    Those women and men know that their families will work out details of who they will marry. Keep in mind that MOST do NOT do love marriages. It’s not what they are into. Love marriages are a western thing. Therefore, they don’t feel or think that they are missing anything. What they’ve got is the “norm” for them. They are happy to simply have a roof over their heads, food in their mouths (their traditional food) and nice clothes on their backs. Anything over and beyond that is icing on the cake. Remember Pakistan is a “Third World Country”.

    All of the above is why the Pakistani wives and their family members in Pakistan go along with the men who use the foreign women for personal gain. After all, it is the wives’ gain too. They care nothing about people other than themselves. Pakistani people are all about Pakistani people. It’s not like they live Islam and believe that all Muslims are brothers and sisters-in-faith to one another. Pakistani people believe they are the best and better people, probably the same as the Jews think about their people.

  • anabellah

    February 19, 2018

    Fatima, Wa Alaikum As Salaam,

    You touched on a lot of important points about Pakistani people. The commentators here used to talk about how the Pakistani men send ALL their monies back home to their families in Pakistan. The families seem to think that there is a bottomless hole full of money at the Pakistani man’s disposal here in the West. They think the money is never-ending. Their families fail to realize how much time, effort and hard work goes into earning and accumulating those monies.

  • Fatima

    February 19, 2018

    Salam wa leikum,
    My Pakistani husband,2s dream is to be a lawyer, but because he is sending all his money to back to pakistan it will never happen. I am glad he is supporting his parents, but all his 3 useless brothers and their families also living on his hard earn money. They always have a good ideas of the business(what always fail in the end), so he is sending again and again……..
    I think there is no force to marrie with their mothers choosed pakistani woman. Because if they realy want to live with the non pakistani wife, they can say ok you can abandon me for my wife but no money coming from me from now. The whole family would be in love with the foreigner wife. But simple they just sistematicaly use the foreigner wife for thier benefit and even they believe they are going to be happy in the end.
    You cant protect yourself from the pakistani men, expect if you just have no any relationship with them. Otherwise there is nothing to protect you! About the pakistani women-do they realy beneficial if this men are with them, out of the pressure of the community and family? they have been treated most of the cases badly. How can a woman support her husband to use, and abuse the other soul and waiting for the time to join the careless husband in EU or USA on somebody else pain and sadness? If they ²sincere² husband in the end bring them to Europa, or USA are they going to get what they wish? No ladys, the husband will have the other mistress while keep up the picture for the family back!
    About the Paksitani traditions and Islam. Most of the pakistanis try to force things under the name of Islam. My husband in the begining tried to educate me for what is in Islam, when I faced him it is their tradition and nothing to do with Islam(I studied Islam for more than 10 years,before I converted), he just shocked and said anyway I have to respect their tradition……….. In Islam, we cant use and hurt others, brother, sister, wife, husband as the pakistanis do.

    About somebody mentioned the race- well, we are all muslims, arent we? so what is our colour to do with the marriages?

    In the end let I advice to whatch 2 brilliant movies. Althought the story is back in 1968, but brillianly showing the Pakistani man confusion, his pakistani wifes spoilt life. The confused kids from both wifes(UK and Pakistani) The movies are very funny, but you can see behinde the stories…
    East is east
    West is west

  • anabellah

    February 18, 2018

    Zurina Alvarez,

    Here is a very good video by a Pakistan man about “Forced Marriage”, which I think you’ll find is quite informative and will answer some of your questions.

  • anabellah

    February 18, 2018

    Zurina Alvarez,

    Based on the comments from people on the blog and from the regular commentators who spoke about it routinely over the years, the children, both the males and the females basically go along with what the parents decide for them as to their mates (spouses). The children usually don’t challenge it. Even, if they do challenge it, they end up doing as their parents tell them to do. Some of the parents have decided as soon as their children are born, who their children will marry once the children become of age. Cousin marriages (particularly 1st cousins marrying 1st cousins) are common. The children know it’s their culture. It’s their way of life. They understand that it’s how it done, so they just go with it whether they want to or not.

    The Pakistani parents usually use a false interpretation of Islam to pressure their children into doing whatever they say. For instance, they use a saying (THAT IS NOT IN THE QURAN) that says Paradise lies at the foot of the mother. They believe that if you don’t do all and exactly what their parents tell them to, then they will go to the Hellfire. They take the obeying parents to a whole different level than what we’re told to do in the Quran. They basically take over their children’s lives. The woman who marries the man goes to live in his parents home and basically she becomes a servant to the parents of her husband (her in-laws). Forced marriage are quite common in Pakistan.

    Spirited, in other words, said that the children should basically grow a backbone, grow a spine or the men should grow a set of balls and just say, NO!. Of course, it’s easier said than done. We’re talking thousands of year or so of tradition.

  • Zurina Alvarez

    February 18, 2018

    Spirited, thank you for clearing things up for me. I still have A LOT to learn about Pakistani culture. There’s still A LOT that I don’t know about. I thought that arranged marriages are forced because once the mother (is it the mother?) chooses the bride for her son, then he has no say in it. Does he?

    If it’s a Pakistani woman, then SHE has no choice but to marry the guy she’s arranged to marry.

    Isn’t that the case?

    Anyway, thanks for letting me know about this.

  • anabellah

    February 18, 2018

    Spirited,

    I wrote the most recent post about Pakistani men, as it is still a hot topic. It’s what most people talk about on this blog. It’s what most are interested in. I have more ideas for this topic as articles, as well.

    If you recall, on the older version of this blog, it’s what most commentators spoke of, lead mainly by commentators Gail and Jenny. The main post about Pakistani men had way over a thousand comments and at one point, I added a second part. It was part 1 and part 2. The Pakistani Beware post on this version of the blog has over 1,200 comments. It makes the page slow to load. Furthermore, the comments are far too many for one post/theme, as it becomes overwhelming for the readers. I can’t close the post/theme because if I do, the 1,200 comments will not appear. We will lose them.

    It makes sense that I write posts/themes about what people speak of here. Zurina Alvarez has expressed an interest in the Pakistani topic, which is why I’m writing to her about it and wrote this recent post/theme/article.

    It’s easy for a person to sit back with a cup of coffee or tea with their legs propped up on a pillow and read the blog. It takes a different type of person to actually write and contribute. Thank you, Spirited, for contributing when you can.

    Writing about Pakistani men comes easy for me, as we’ve been discussing the topic for several years now. I am very familiar with the topic; although, by far, I am no expert.

    I still need to write on a couple of topics that Sister Saira has suggested. She made a couple of good recommendations. I usually write about what inspires me at the time. When having to write about a suggested topic, especially when it’s about Islam, I am cautious. I’m careful as I know that it’s super important that I’m accurate in what I say. I am accountable for it and don’t want to put something out there that isn’t correct. Therefore, I don’t want to rush in writing it. I need to do it when the time is right. May Allah forgive me, if I have said anything on this blog that is not right.

  • anabellah

    February 18, 2018

    Spirited, Wa Alaikum As Salaam,

    Thank you for shedding some light on “Arranged Marriages”. I know little about them other than that they are prevalent in Pakistan. I don’t know enough about them to refute anything that Zurina Alvarez had said.

    In mentioning the sham marriages that take place for money, the purpose was to show that at least the people who get involved in that type of marriage for citizenship do it willingly. The man and the woman know it’s a marriage in name only for convenience to achieve an end. Both parties to the marriage have an objective. The one gets paid and the other gets citizenship, if all goes as they plan.

    It’s unlike the type of marriage that some Pakistani men engage in where they fake that it’s a love marriage. They lead the women on to believe that it is. She gives herself sexually to the man (her “husband”) and may bear his children only for him to run up out of the marriage once he gets citizenship. She was blind to his deceitful intent. He dumps her like a piece of trash and goes off to be with the woman whom he really wants to be with, his Pakistani wife. He brings his wife, children, parents et al. to the United States intent on living a much better comfortable life, than they would have in Pakistan.

    I mentioned the scam marriage that is consensual to show the vast difference between it and the Pakistani scam marriage. It’s true; they both are illegal.

  • ummof4

    February 18, 2018

    As-salaamu alaikum and hello to all,

    Spirited, it’s good that you stop by once in a while. I will make du’ah that Allah blesses you with a child if that is what is best for you, and that the child be one who makes you glad to be a mother.
    Spirited, yes it is against Islam to enter into a sham marriage. It is also illegal in the US, but people do it anyway hoping not to get caught. If they are caught, the one seeking citizenship usually goes to jail then gets deported. I’m not sure what happens to the US citizen who agrees to the sham marriage. I was recently speaking to a new Muslim who said that before she was Muslim a man offered her $50,000 for a sham marriage. She was tempted, but said no to him.

    Zurina, fornication and adultery are forbidden in most major religions of the world. I know it is forbidden in Catholicism. If a person truly is following the religion of choice, then the person tries her best to obey the laws.

    As Muslims who are striving to be true believers we do our best to avoid major sins like fornication and adultery.

    As Ana and I have said many times before, RESPECT YOURSELF AND ONLY HAVE SEX OF ANY KIND (ORAL, VAGINAL, PHONE, ETC) WITH YOUR HUSBAND. THIS IS FOR ALL WOMEN ALL OVER THE WORLD, NOT JUST MUSLIMS OR CHRISTIANS.

    Let us all try to obey Allah as He should be obeyed. He knows what is best for us at all times and in all situations.

  • Spirited

    February 18, 2018

    Salaam guys,

    Interesting that Ana had to make another post on the same topic, lol. Offhand, isn’t it actually illegal to make an agreement to be paid for a sham marriage? I believe it is, as there are requirements to prove the marriage is done in good faith when filing immigration paperwork. I’m sure a woman who is taking money for getting guys here via marriage (if she’s a repeat filer) would be investigated. Or a guy marrying women to get them here (same thing).

    Also, @ Zurina Alvarez. You are mistaken. An arranged marriage is not a forced marriage. Those are obviously separate things. In Pakistan, a woman or a man are both allowed to say NO if they don’t like the prospective spouse. If some people are too chicken or don’t stand up for themselves, that has nothing to do with the culture or the religion. In arranged marriage, the woman and man are also allowed to speak with each other. They can go on chaperoned dates. How would it make any sense to marry someone who you don’t like or haven’t spoken with? There are people who do, but that’s their choice (or they just are too chicken-butt to make a stand). There was beginning to be way too much misinformation here and I wanted to clear that up. Arranged marriages can be great, it’d up to the husband and wife — like in any marriage — to be good to each other,

    I’m glad you avoided an obviously bad apple, but remember you can’t paint everyone with the same brush. Although if there is a huge cultural difference, it’s usually best to avoid more people of that culture so you aren’t setting yourself up to making life harder than it is for yourself (in my opinion). Recently, there have been a few tv shows from Pakistan being translated to English. Some are on Netflix. I can’t remember if the ones there right now deal with family dynamics, but there are plenty of tv shows made in Pakistan that show marital problems. Mother-in-law or sisters-in-law or just crazy husband. There was even one where the guy resented his wife and wanted to go overseas. One where the woman married a guy, moved to England (he was a British citizen) and then fell in love with a different guy, dumped her husband, was abused by the guy she loved, but was too vain and full of pride to go back to her husband who never remarried (I believe she died in the end). These shows can be fairly eye-opening for foreigners. Even for those living in the culture, because show creators try to highlight issues in Pakistani culture so people can have realities of life/culture reflected back at them and enact change. There was an excellent one about child rape a few years ago, named “Udaari” but I don’t believe it’s been translated to English.

    Dealing with Pakistani men (or any other culture), a foreigner just needs to be more alert so she isn’t being tricked. Like Ana says, it just appears to be more Pakistani men that women have spoken up about here. The same applies to African, Indian, Indonesian, Bangladesh, etc. — any country that others want to immigrate out of for economic reasons. I’ve been approached by men from some of those countries when I was looking, but I don’t blame all men of those countries of being conniving. I do warn women who have already invested their hearts to put forth that they will not be filing immigration paperwork for the guy and will move to his country after marriage and see what the man does, lol. https://polygamy411.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_cool.gif

    Besides, even men of one’s own culture and country can be grade-A buttholes. Bad men are bad men, no matter where they are from. Same for bad women, you can find them all over the world. In any case, all the best to everyone out there. I’m always checking in, and it’s always great to hear from you guys. My life is mostly going well, almost done with the degree I’m going for. Your dues for starting a family would be great https://polygamy411.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_smile.gif

    Talk to you guys again https://polygamy411.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_heart.gif

  • anabellah

    February 17, 2018

    Zurina Alvarez,

    What you described is considered bad in my culture https://polygamy411.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_negative.gif My culture is Islam. A man and a woman are only supposed to have sex with the person with whom he or she is married. Fornication and adultery are heinous offenses.

    Remember, I am an American and a revert. I was once young like you without guidance, just doing what comes naturally. Although I’ve had a good life and good times, I always knew something was wrong and missing in my life at the time. Eventually, I set out to change and find the Truth, and I found it. Allah chose me for Islam. When I took the Shahadah (vow to be Muslim) Allah forgave me of all my past sins and gave me a fresh slate a new start https://polygamy411.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_yahoo.gif

    One day you may look back at your life and be very sad about how you lived it. No woman should allow a man to enter her unless he is her husband. Women need to learn to protect their virtue and value themselves. Men will have sex with you and move on. If you have sex with each new boyfriend with no commitment of marriage, you’re going through an awful lot of men over time. It’s not cool. You may think you’re liberated, sophisticated and all that, but you’re not. It’s an illusion.

  • Zurina Alvarez

    February 17, 2018

    Ana, forget about what I said about writing an article about Pakistani men who uses women for pleasure. There’s no need for that. Let’s drop the topic and move on.

    I have a question, what if a woman is NOT married, but is in a relationship with one man and only sleep with him, is that considered bad in your culture?

  • Zurina Alvarez

    February 17, 2018

    Ana, I read an article about women being a breadwinner in Pakistan on the internet. I read some horror stories Pakistani women have been through on this one article, although I can’t remember which one it was.

  • anabellah

    February 17, 2018

    Zurina Alvarez,

    I learned a lot about “Joint Family Living” from a commentator named “Gail” who used to be with us here on the blog for many years. She is an American married to a Pakistani man. His parents live here in the States with them. He was once polygamous, as he was married to his cousin in Pakistan while married to Gail, but later divorced the cousin.

    One thing you said that I question is that Pakistani women are the primary breadwinners the same as with Filipino women. I don’t know where you got that information from. All that I’ve known and learned of Pakistanis over the years of being on this blog is that those men are the primary breadwinners. The majority of the women don’t work. The Pakistani men work hard to take care of their families (parents, wives and children). Many of the Pakistani men are expatriates who go abroad to work to support their families.

    Many of them get Visas to come to European countries to meet up with foreign women to use them to advance themselves and put themselves in a good financial, economical position so that they could take care of their Pakistani families. They then get citizenship, divorce their foreign wives and bring their Pakistani families to the US or UK or other countries to live a good life-a better life than that back in Pakistan. Pakistan is one of the most dangerous countries for a woman to live.

    Keep in mind that Pakistani people despite calling themselves “Muslims” don’t like or believe in polygamy.

  • anabellah

    February 17, 2018

    Zurina Alvarez,

    I’m sorry; but I still don’t understand what you want the article to address. You said you want someone who is knowledgeable about the subject to ” write an article about Pakistani men when it comes to sex.” Furthermore, you said there “SHOULD be an article when it comes to Pakistani men using foreign women for pleasure but someone with experience should write it. I noticed that visa ISN’T the only thing that Pakistani men are after.” You said you understand that there are men other than Pakistani men who use women for sex, but the topic at hand is about Pakistani men.

    I don’t see a need for such an article, as we all know that men (and Pakistani men are no different) are out there in cyberspace trying to meet up with women to have sexual relationships with. Women are out there looking for those men, as well. The women know what time it is (what life is about). Women and men are on the internet looking for the same thing. So I don’t understand the need for an article about it. Either they’re looking for a sexual relationship or (if Pakistani, for instance) the man is looking to get married for citizenship. Regardless, sex is all up in the mix. The woman knows that she’s going to get sex whether she’s simply looking for a sex mate online or looking to get married. Men and women both know that sex is a part of marriage, so why is there a need for an article about sex?

    If anything, there should be an article about the need for women to respect themselves and not give themselves to men who aren’t their husband. I think it’s a waste of time to write such an article because no one is going to listen unless he or she has a certain belief and moral consciousness.

  • anabellah

    February 17, 2018

    Zurina Alvarez,

    I don’t mind reading your posts and replying to them. I like chatting with you 🙂 I just get tied up with other stuff and can’t get back here as quickly as I’d like. In fact, I just sat down to write to you when you just posted LOL

  • Zurina Alvarez

    February 17, 2018

    Mari2, what I meant when I said that women in my culture put their foot down, it means that Filipino women follow their hearts when it comes to love. We Filipino women will go after the men we love and even if our parents don’t like the guy, we’re not gonna listen and go for it anyway. Filipino family members or friends like to hook Filipino women up with guys but the Filipino women have a say and can say no.

    “Tanan” or elopement in English, is common in Filipino culture, but they always end up regretting it.

  • Zurina Alvarez

    February 17, 2018

    Ana, you don’t have to read through ALL of my posts. You don’t have to respond to each and every one of them. It’s okay.

  • anabellah

    February 17, 2018

    Zurina Alvarez,

    I suppose Pakistani men don’t come forward and tell the foreign women that they want to hook up so that they (the men) could obtain citizenship, because there probably aren’t a lot of women who want to be bothered with that. There aren’t a lot of women who will readily agree to something like that. Finding those women probably isn’t easy. The only reason women agree to it is to get paid. I’m sure most Pakistani men don’t have thousands of dollars to pay a woman to marry them for citizenship. Furthermore, they must go through the divorce process as well, once the men obtain citizenship. Additionally, women who agree to that type of set up are in it strictly for the money. They don’t actually live with those men as husband and wife. They don’t have sex with those men. They get married and go their separate ways until it’s time to divorce. It’s an arrangement, not a marriage in the sense of the word.

    Pakistani men want to marry foreign women to use all those women’s resources. They use them to have sex with them. The other type of arranged marriage for citizenship only with payment is not advantageous for a Pakistani man. He wants more.

    You said, “It appears that Pakistani men DON’T feel bad for hurting their foreign wive’s feelings. They don’t care at all and they don’t have any empathy whatsoever. All they care about is themselves. It sounds sociopathic.”
    Well, you’re correct. Most don’t. It’s a dog eat dog world for them or survival of the fittest. They’re out for themselves and their families. They are nationalist. It’s about Pakistan, Pakistanis and their culture. It’s something you need to realize and stop trying to see life through your eyes, what you believe and how you were raised.

    Anyhow, I haven’t read all of your posts yet. God willing, I’ll be back later in the day.

  • anabellah

    February 17, 2018

    Zurina Alvarez,

    Pakistani men who have a Pakistani wife and have a foreign wife also – two wives – would still be a polygamist. A polygamist is a man who simply has more than one wife.

    Actually, polygamy means a man has more than one wife or a woman has more than one husband. When people hear polygamy, they assume it’s a man with more than one wife. Women with more than one husband is not a prevalent situation in the 21st century. A woman is not allowed more than one husband according to Islam. A woman having more than one husband is something pretty much made up. No one takes it seriously when a woman says she has more than one husband.

    Polygyny is the official name for a man who has more than one wife. Nevertheless, it is common knowledge that now-a-day when anyone speaks of polygamy they know it is about a man who has more than one wife.

    Bigamy in the United States is when a person has more than one legally registered marriage, which is a crime. Bigamy is a criminal offense punishable by law. A person could be prosecuted for it.

    On the other hand, there is no law on the books against polygamy in the United States. However, anyone seeking immigration status to the United States doesn’t have the same protection as United States citizens. Being a polygamist could prevent a person from being able to migrate to the United States and could get the person deported as well once he’s here.

    So, to answer your question, a Pakistani man who has two wives wouldn’t be considered a bigamist unless both his marriages are registered with a government agency, the State etc. Most men who are polygamous know not to register more than one marriage. They usually have a legally binding marriage license/certificate with one wife and personal written contracts with the others. Those contracts aren’t valid in a court of law. They aren’t considered legitimate, valid marriages. What God considers as valid is what matters though.

  • Zurina Alvarez

    February 17, 2018

    Mari2, I don’t even know why I said that. Women in our culture are obedient to their parents, though.

    All I can say is, we don’t have arranged marriages in our culture and even if we do, the women would refuse if they don’t like the guy.

    Our culture and Pakistani culture are somewhat similar. The only difference is the religion. Filipinos are predominantly Catholic while Pakistanis are Muslims.

    Filipino women are mostly the primary breadwinner of the family. Same with Pakistani women. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that Filipino men don’t work, but the majority of them are lazy. I went to visit the Philippines back in 2011 and the men there are mostly sitting on the sidewalk talking to each other. They’re “tambays” meaning they just standby and do nothing.

    Filipino families and Pakistani families stick together like glue. Filipinos also tend to live with their parents even if the children are adults. Heck, even if their adult children already have kids of their own, Filipinos still live with their parents. Filipinos live in a small, cramped house. Same with Pakistani.

  • Mari2

    February 16, 2018

    Zurina,
    I had to laugh when you mentioned women in your culture putting their foot down. I had a neighbor married to a woman from the Philippines. While she was here in the US working as well as her American husband working, her brother with no job back home kept popping out babies every 18 months or so with his wife. Baby 1, 2, and 3, Rob and Mensie sent back money, along with school fees for her other nieces and nephews. When Mensie’ s bro got his wife pregnant for the 4th time, Mensie went back home to visit and gave her brother a box of condoms and 2 words “no more”. She rather than her husband put her foot down.

  • Zurina Alvarez

    February 16, 2018

    One thing I forgot to add, I SHOULD’VE done a background check on him before getting involved with him. That’s a part of doing research. Dig deeper, although you’ll come up short sometimes. I did some digging on this Pakistani man but his social media is clean. It mostly consists of selfies and pictures with a group of male friends.

    Also check out their FRIENDS on social media. Most of the time, their friends list consists of family members and male friends. It’s mostly male family members too. They have female friends too but their male friends far OUTNUMBER their female friends.

  • Zurina Alvarez

    February 16, 2018

    What foreign women need is a list of RED FLAGS when it comes to dealing with Pakistani men (and men from different races). Women in general are intuitive creatures and what we need to do is to always go with our GUT FEELING. I’ve said this before in a previous article here. If there is something “off” about a man, women SHOULDN’T ignore it because most of the time, our intuition is right. I know that lovestruck women have a hard time looking out for red flags because they’ve fallen DEEPLY in love with the man. At the same time, women should still be able to “sense” if something is off. The problem is, they CHOOSE to shrug it off and believe what they want to believe.

    That’s how I managed to get out of my situation. This Pakistani man was going WAY too fast. When my co worker first gave my number to him (with my permission), he texted me first and things were going great. However, in less than two weeks, he started saying, “I love you” and “You are my life.” How can you love someone you barely even know? That threw me off.

    What REALLY scared me is that this guy talked about killing someone. At first, I thought he was joking but he was being serious. He said that he’s not gonna hurt me, but I had a hard time believing it.

    Then he talked about his friend being sick and is in the hospital and that he has to go back to Pakistan.

    That should’ve my cue to STAY AWAY FROM HIM… but I didn’t. He stopped texting me frequently. I don’t know WHY I kept waiting for him to text me, when I should’ve stopped talking to him, period. Normally, he was the one who kept texting me, but lately, he responded less and less. I was the one who kept texting him.I was caught up at this time. I didn’t know WHAT I was thinking.

    I don’t know if I should tell the whole story here since I already discussed about this in the “Marry a Pakistani Man-Beware” article.

    I KNEW something wasn’t right about him but I COULDN’T put my finger on him. I spent hours thinking about this, my mind was racing, I felt restless, and I couldn’t sleep because of this. I tried putting the pieces together so I turned to Google and found this website. I’m SO thankful that I found the information I’m looking for, Ana. Once I started talking about my situation, it all made sense now. I was finally able to put the pieces together. Now I know why he acted the way he did.

    Fortunately for me, this guy wasn’t persistent and didn’t chase after me any further. He left me alone afterwards. He didn’t text me, call me, and didn’t reach out for me through social media. Aseiya said that Pakistani men are like a yoyo. They’ll leave but will come chasing after the woman.

    I learned that this CAN happen to ANY woman at any time. This doesn’t just happen to European women, this can happen to American women, Hispanic women, Asian women, Filipino women etc.

  • Zurina Alvarez

    February 16, 2018

    Anabellah,

    I was thinking maybe Aseiya (or anyone who has knowledge on this topic) should write an article about Pakistani men when it comes to sex.

    When I made that comment, I WASN’T trying to say that it only applies to Pakistani men. Of course I’m aware that a woman should use protection when it comes to having sex REGARDLESS of the man’s race. What I was trying to say is, if the women don’t want to deal with unwanted pregnancy, then they should take responsibility and be careful. Hope that clears up your confusion.

    Again, I wasn’t singling out Pakistani men, but this topic IS about them. Black men, white men, Hispanic men, and Asian men are guilty of using women as sex objects. I know Pakistani men aren’t the only ones guilty of this.

    I’ve only been in one relationship throughout 25 years of my life, and I’v only given myself to one man, which was my ex boyfriend. I don’t go sleep around with a bunch of random men, I only sleep with the one I’m in a relationship with. Other than that, sleeping around doesn’t look good for a woman.

    The reason I said this is because I think there SHOULD be an article when it comes to Pakistani men using foreign women for pleasure but someone with experience should write it. I noticed that visa ISN’T the only thing that Pakistani men are after.

  • Zurina Alvarez

    February 16, 2018

    Anabellah,

    If parents are to arrange their children’s marriage, they should at least have the groom to be and the bride to be get to know each other FIRST before agreeing to be married. There’s a term called semi-arranged marriage. According to Wikipedia, a semi arranged marriage is where both men and women interact with one another before marriage (a form of dating).

    Filipino and Pakistani culture have some similarities but they’re not entirely the same.

    Filipinos in general are obedient to their parents too, but not as bad as Pakistanis are. At least Filipinos can put their foot down and don’t treat their parents like god. Filipinos respect the elderly because according to them, the elderly are wise. That’s just in our culture. Filipino parents still rule their children’s lives even if their children are adults. However, Filipinos say no every once in a while and we do put our foots down.

    My brain is telling me that, “What makes YOU special? If Pakistani (or any other Arabs) men treat their women poorly, what makes you any different? He’s gonna do the same thing to you.”

    My heart used to tell me that, “Awww… he’s so sweet and kind to you. He’d never hurt you. He loves you. You’re special. He’s not gonna do these things to you.”

    To be honest, foreign women are naive when it comes to men from third world countries. Sadly, some foreign women “follow their hearts” more, then they end up in a serious predicament.

  • Zurina Alvarez

    February 16, 2018

    I haven’t had the time to respond to this article since I’ve been so busy with work lately. I also needed some break because I’ve been overthinking about this, and I was being paranoid of things that’s never gonna happen.

    First things first, shouldn’t Pakistani be called a BI-gamist, and NOT a POLY-gamist? I noticed a pattern here, they only have two wives: one Pakistani wife their parents arranged for them, and one foreign wife they’re using for a visa. That’s bigamy. Doesn’t polygamy mean you can have more than two wives?

    Anyhow, it is unnecessary for Pakistani men to use and abuse women like that. Toying with someone’s emotions isn’t right. Then again, it’s in their culture. What they should’ve done is be honest from the start. Let a foreigner who’s either born in the country or is a citizen, know that you need to get a green card. Why can’t they just be upfront about it? If they want, they can divorce their foreign wife once they get their green card.

    It appears that Pakistani men DON’T feel bad for hurting their foreign wive’s feelings. They don’t care at all and they don’t have any empathy whatsoever. All they care about is themselves. It sounds sociopathic.

  • anabellah

    February 15, 2018

    One thing I’ve noticed is that many people whom I know to be Muslim have a specialness about them. There is some goodness in them that I can sense. Muslims sincere seekers of Truth are special.

  • anabellah

    February 15, 2018

    Sister Saira,

    Many people don’t realize important information about reverts/converts to Islam. Many people who revert to Islam (who weren’t born of a Muslim family and raised on Islam) are people who had difficult lives. They may have been trying to find their way. I’m sure there are many who struggled with drug addiction. Maybe some women even engaged in prostitution. There are many who were single moms. Some were involve in criminal activity. They were just like any other person out there on this planet. The difference is that they were searching for something better and more meaningful, even if they didn’t fully understand it. Allah selected them. He chose them to be Muslim. They didn’t chose Islam. It was a blessing. Furthermore, all their sins were wiped away clean when they took the Shahadah (vow to become Muslim).

    It’s not the wealthy, arogant people who think they are self-sufficient and don’t believe in God who become Muslim. In fact there is an ayah (verse/sign) in the Quran in which someone asked the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) why the meaniest of creatures follow him.

    It’s not a matter of the people who think they are the elitest and upperclass or better people becoming Muslim. People who are down trotten or down and out and lost who seek Allah for help. Those are the ones who Allah help. The drug addict that you spoke of is one of them. People are in darkness who don’t have the TRUTH/Islam. Not all who seek guidance will receive it, but for sure, no one will receive it, if he or she doesn’t seek it.

    People who revert aren’t just following what they were taught or say they are Muslim because their parents said that they are. They weren’t forced into Islam. They got there a different way.

    About that “Junkie Partner” that you said the young girl made convert. Perhaps he was searching for the Truth. He wanted to change. He was seeking help. Insha Allah, he’s on the mustaqueen (the straight path). People think that just because drug addiction wasn’t inflicted on a person in the same way as cancer/heart disease/Pakisan disease/MS/Dementia or Alzheimers etc that it is different. Drug addiction is not a disease of choice. A drug addicted person shouldn’t be look upon any differently than a person with those aforementioned diseases.

  • anabellah

    February 15, 2018

    Saira,

    You said you think women and men should marry their own race. I definitely see how it makes life easier if they do, after seeing all that’s going on with cultural differences and the problems that exist with mix culture marriages today. Although I could see how it would simplify things, it’s not right. It’s not Islamic.

    If we are one brotherhood all Muslims are brothers to one another, Islam is our culture. A Muslim should be able to marry ANY Muslim regardless of race, color, or nationality, tribe etc. and live in peace and tranquility together. Those differences shouldn’t matter. Allah says He has made us all of varying races, colors and languages, so that we can know one another and not despise one another. We are all brothers and sisters in faith.

    Another way that I was naïve when I first became Muslim is in thinking that we as Muslims all love one another. For instance, I didn’t know that Pakistanis primarily married their own and used others (foreigners) for personal gain or that a dark skinned Pakistani was viewed as less than a light complected one, along with other things I read on the internet, such as African/American Muslims were only good for being second wives in polygamous marriages. The non-African American (born Muslim) thought they were better than an African American. Some of what I’ve learned was astonishing. It’s not Islam and many “Muslims” have a lot to answer to Allah for.

    I have “The Prophet Muhammad’s Last Sermon” in a picture frame in my prayer room of my home. A part of that sermon is as follows:

    “All Mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over a black nor black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is a brother to every Muslim and that the Muslim constitue one brotherhood. Nothing shall be legitimate to a Muslim which belongs to a fellow Muslim unless it was given freely and willingly. Do not, therefore, do injustice to yourselves.”

    “All those who listen to me shall pass on my words to others and those to others again; and may the last ones understand my words better than those who listen to me directly. Be my witness O ALLAH, that I have conveyed your message to your people.”

  • anabellah

    February 15, 2018

    Sister Saira, Wa Alaikum As Salaam,

    Saira, I’m with you that a woman needs to do her research and learn as much as she can about a man and his culture before she hooks up with him when he is not of her culture. In the Quran, Allah lets us know that we should investigate things.

    So many people in general just believe anything and everything that they hear. They take it as the truth, just because the person said it SMH. They don’t question the validity of what was said or the motive of the person who said it. It’s a reason this blog is so important. It helps to get basic information out there to people-information that people aren’t readily getting else where.

    One reason I thinks reverts have a problem and become victims of scams or get taken advantage of is because the reverts are naïve.

    I was naïve when I first became Muslim; although I read and studied a lot. Besides the Quran, I read many Islamic books, basic ones, hadiths, as well as books written by scholars. I have a room in my home that is stictly and soley a Masalah (prayer room) in which I have an Islamic library of all my books, references and material. Now, I basically only read the Quran.

    As a result of all that I was learning at the time, which was new to me when I first became Muslim, I thought all Muslims lived the Quran or were striving to. I had an idealistic view of who Muslims were, what they did and how they lived. As I met more and more Muslims up close and personal, I became disenchanted with them. My ideal was not a reality.

    I think many reverts think that they could trust a person, simply because the person says that he or she is a Muslim. They think all Muslims are good people with good moral character. NOT! Sadly to say, it’s not so. Of course, we all have faults and flaws.

    We must Investigate. Yes, we must judge. A judgement call is required. Allah tells us to judge with what He has given us to judge with-the Quran. We mustn’t make assumptions. There are all types of people and some of them call themselves Muslims. There are misbelievers, disbelievers, unbelievers, and hypocrites, for instance.

    Then, too, unfortunately, Muslims get caught up in sects. They do what Allah tells us not to do-don’t divide our religion (Islam) into sects. We are all one brotherhood. The masses do exactly what Allah tells us not to do. If we continually do what Allah tells us not to do, evenutally comes His anger and His wrath.

  • Saira

    February 15, 2018

    Aslamu Alaykum all
    Sister Ana great topic but many more things to be educate for Pakistani men and their culture
    Never know some one google it one day to find answer before entering in this community mess.
    Despite the fact they use foreign women to get
    Their status they use for many more other reason to and it’s pity these women get trap in
    Now a days evry one has access to internet I belive they should search about every thing befor committing in any relationship or in any business with them
    Many people use these women identity to do so many tax fraud too many things ppl let them do for little money
    And that’s the problem
    I belive foreign women many of them have addiction to drugs or they left home in young age or single mom and yet knowing so many stories about all these scam they ignore all warnings and start emotion relationship and make their life hell
    I have seen many many women’s having kids and chasing the man who will ditch these women
    One women I don’t know her personally but friend of mine told me she converted help this guy to get job visa every thing and for many years she spend in one room with him and had 3 daughters with him and he left her without any thing
    Many men go after young women in young age and once they no longer feel any more attractive they look for their own nation women to settle down
    No matter how many years they spend with other national women they can not be loyal to them if they still stay togater
    I think personally women or man should marry their own rase person
    When you hit the reality you relize you in trap and in any case women suffer.
    There is many case in my family Alhamdulilah no one was after any paper work from these women or men but kids suffer from confuse culture
    One of my cousin young daughter left her home to join her junkie partner and she made him convert lol
    Now I heard she is back with young child as they cudnt be togater
    I don’t think Indian men or women see culture mix much issue like Pakistan
    One thing sister Ana said 100% correct that in Pakistani culture mother treat her son like god Astagfar and worship him and does too much interference in his life and make life harder for the daughter in law.
    My husbnd is like 2 year old he hears every one and thinks they all right and his mother can not be wrong in any thing
    They don’t let their daughter in law live peacefully at all
    Untill her son get to relize this story goes on and on
    They don’t like polygamy at all
    And use their son like muppet only if their son allow them and don’t see what they doing to him
    Their is so much issue about having more boy in family too
    I make dua to Allah to make easy for all of us sister ameen
    Sister Ana I want to ask you if you can write any thing about what to do if u no longer feel tonlove your husband and doing it to keep family life peace full
    What u say about that

  • ummof4

    February 14, 2018

    As-salaamu alaikum and hello to all,

    Fatima, I will make du’ah that all works out well with you. I am glad that you intend to deny your husband the right to stay in the EU, especially with the way that he has treated you.

    Again, to all the ladies out there- please respect yourself enough to only have sex with your husband.

    Allahu Akbar!

  • anabellah

    February 13, 2018

    Fatima, Wa Alaikum As Salaam,

    I really feel for you, my dear sister. What you’re dealing with is so sad. I agree with what Mari2 suggested to you. You should file for a civil divorce immediately, so you have official documentation in case he should try to harm you in some way. No telling what he is capable of doing. Don’t wait for the 50 days. Insha Allah do it now. And don’t let him know what you’re doing.

    It sounds that he has something up his sleeves in that he took photos of all your financial documents. It sounds that he’s plotting to walk away with monies that he thinks he will be entitled to once he divorces you.

    You need to make people whom you know aware of what is going on with him, in case he tries to inflict harm on you in some kind of way; you need to have an exit plan. You are wise not to telegraph your punches. Keep him in the dark about what you plan to do, until he absolutely needs to know-when he gets served with divorce papers. Make sure you let the attorney know that you contacted the Pakistani Embassy for help. I’m assuming you have all your documents and notes about his marriage in Pakistan, as well. Provide the attorney with all the information that you have to support your husband’s intention to use you for citizenship.

    You stated, “I dont know what he is capable to do when he realise he trapped in his hated country….” I can understand your concern, and you need to take precaution, cuz what you’re about to do is going to ROCK HIS WORLD!

    I’m with you that the Pakistan Embassy is probably in cahoots with those men. Remember, they hid Osama Bin Laden.

  • anabellah

    February 13, 2018

    Rosa, As Salaamu Alaikum,

    Long time no hear from. Welcome back!

    What many of the foreign women who hook up with Pakistani men fail to know or simply overlook is that those men require their wives to be virgins before they marry them. It another thing for a Muslim man (I’m not including Pakistani men) to marry a REVERT/CONVERT, as he should know most likely she is no virgin. Yet, it makes sense that he would still expect that she would NOT have sexual relations with him until they are married.

    On the other hand, it would make sense that a Pakistani man would not expect to stay married to a foreign woman whom he has sexual relations with BEFORE he even marries her. If he values a virgin wife, it would make no sense that he would care anything about a woman whom he lays with without being married to. It would make sense that the only thing he would want her for would be to gain citizenship and then divorce her. It’s somewhat like him having a virgin wife and playing around on the side with a prostitute, so to speak.

  • Mari2

    February 13, 2018

    Fatima,
    If you are in Europe just file for a civil divorce on the grounds that he married another person in his country. Also, seek a Muslim divorce if you don’t want to be in a polygamous situation. Make sure that your earnings are in your name. A lawyer should surely be able to advise you as to the steps that you need to take.

  • Fatima

    February 13, 2018

    Salam Sisters,
    I am non pakistani woman, unfortunatelly married to a pakistani man. Maybe some off you slightly know my story as I wrote it.
    Let I write something about this subject, if I can.
    I had cancer, I almost died on the surgeric table, but alhamdulilla survived… Just when I was glad to be here, I met my charming husband.I was already converted long time ago and was looking for Muslim man to marrie and have a child.(as the doctor shorted my time to 1 year for the pregnancy)
    Yes, simetimes we are careless, but in my case I have talked with his family and all approved our marriage, checked his right in UK.So what was wrong? Only that he was sistematicly seducing me, and got a support from the bunch of pakistani friends who were doing the same. He used me for his visa, financialy(poor man had to support his family), sexualy Just one year into our marriage he went to pakistan and married behinde my back with someone who knew he already married with me.
    When I found out, tried to get some help, information from the Pakistani Embassy-guess what! They dont even want to know the whole situation. I felt like they even supporting more and more Pakistani men do the same things!
    Now he is so happy because he thinks the time is thicking and so close he can get rid of me. He would do anything just to keep sleeping my suspecius.Now I use him, He doesnt know(if know, cant do anything with it), financially(I never have money),sexualy and all way… Secretly he is taking photos of my bank statement, tax report, and so on….. he doesnt think it is crime to use withouth my permission…. He doesnt know it took me 2 years to became enough strong to be able to pay back his kindness…. Time is thiking for me to get rid of him too without additional right to stay in EU. (Just 50 days left)
    Maybe I am wrong to pay back, maybe he will kill me but if I let him to enjoy my hard work I wouldnt have a peace in my whole life!
    Pray for me, please! I will need, because I dont know what he is capable to do when he realise he trapped in his hated country….

  • Rosa

    February 13, 2018

    Zurina Alvarez

    It takes two to tango. The women who have no standards letting any man with a pulse get some then they are to blame as well.

  • anabellah

    February 12, 2018

    Mari2,

    It’s good to hear that Immigration requirements are tightening up. With that “Trump” in office, it’s bound to get tighter than ever.

    As you stated, “Women just have to be smart”. The problem is that women are so full of themselves to think that a strange man is going to instantly fall head over heels in love with her and immediately ask her to marry him. She knowing absolutely nothing about him other than what he says, considers the marriage proposal. If she gets caught up out there like that, then she is going to need to hold herself accountable, just as he will. Another problem is that arrogance comes into play. She thinks she’s so exotic, different and special that he wants her badly… okay, if she says so. Time will tell his true intentions and she’ll find out that she’s not all that…

  • Mari2

    February 12, 2018

    Marrying for citizenship isn’t anything new really. American military men stationed in foreign countries have no problem meeting women there willing to declare their undying love for the opportunity to become a bride of an American.
    The internet has simply made this game open to more men and women from more countries. There’s mail order brides and mail order husbands too. One just doesn’t need to actually be in a country to be contacted and exploited now. It can all be done from one’s living room via a phone or laptop.
    Pakistani men however are quite bold in their “moves” so to speak. I keep my social media to the bare minimum. Private. However a month ago I commented on a post of a Canadian Pakistani comic. In one night I suddenly was beset by numerous friend requests from men in Pakistan. Men I’m sure were trolling for prospects. I don’t know for sure because I deleted the requests.

    It’s unfortunate that there are users out there. And from what I’ve read on the net, Moroccan men play the same game with similar intent. Women just have to be smart.

    And it’s not so easy anymore for Pakistani men to marry an American and get here quickly. The process takes years now, and if he is married in Pakistan to a woman there before marrying the American woman he won’t get here. The US embassy is also looking very closely at age disparity between bride and groom too. No more 45 year old American and 18 years old Pakistani being seen as okay. Now it’s a red flag. So it’s tightening up.

  • anabellah

    February 12, 2018

    Zurina Alvarez,

    I’m not the one who should write an article about sex and Pakistani men. I don’t think Pakistani man should be singled out for using foreign women for sex. I firmly know and believe that no woman should have sex with a man who is not her husband.

    You said, ” All I can say is, USE PROTECTION if they’re gonna have sex with a Pakistani man.” Shouldn’t a woman use protection, if she’s going to have sex with ANY and ALL men whom she is not married to? Why just Pakistani men?

    You said I should write an article on “how Pakistani men also use foreign women, not just to get a visa, but also for SEX.” Well, all men use women for sex if the men are not married to the women whom they have sex with. Pakistani men shouldn’t be singled out for that. If a woman doesn’t want to be used for sex, she needs to keep her legs closed to any man who isn’t her husband. She shouldn’t engage in acts with men that are supposed to be reserved for her spouse.

    One thing Pakistani women have going on is chastity and maintaining their virtue. They aren’t promiscuous and trashy like many foreign women are who let men who aren’t their husband enter them. If one follows the masses, they go astray.

  • anabellah

    February 12, 2018

    Moipone,

    I second what you stated. I totally agree. You said to Zurina Alvarez,”What you said that these Pakistan men dont know love I believe that very much.I swear they are different kind of people.
    Ana I would work with the gov to stop this nonsense because there is children involved. Why cant they be honest and just say look I need papers marry me I will pay a certain amount of money.
    What bothers me is why have children knowing very well that the marriage is tempopary.”

  • anabellah

    February 12, 2018

    polygamy 411

  • anabellah

    February 12, 2018

    polygamy 411

  • anabellah

    February 12, 2018

    Zurina Alvarez,

    Some Pakistanis probably have love marriages, but basically their marriages are arranged. It’s not about love. I do not think there is anything wrong with arranged marriages, as long as the persons each agree to it and it’s not forced on any of the parties involved.

    Pakistani men are known to obey their parents to the point that the parents are the equivalent to a god to them. The parents rule their children lives even when the children are adults. The mothers pretty much worship the sons. The sons grow up thinking they are kings, so to speak, and they treat women like crap.

    One Pakistani man who was here on the blog said that the women have bad teeth because the men take all the toothpaste/tooth brushes/mouth wash etc to use and the women don’t have any. Then you have “Honor Killings”, if the Pakistani woman gets raped, they kill her. Acid attacks are common (acid being thrown in women faces).

    Domestic violence towards women is common, according to what Aseiya said. If Pakistani men are known to abuse women, what makes a foreign woman think that she is exempt from being treated the same way by a Pakistani man? – Just because she’s foreign she’s special??? I don’t think so.

    polygamy 411

  • anabellah

    February 12, 2018

    Zurina Alvarez,

    I understand the whole third world country thing, as well. I understand that people have to do what they must to survive, meaning, for instance, the man may need to go to another country to work. I, the same as you, can’t condone that the Pakistani men resort to USING foreign women. It’s shameful.

    The majority of Pakistanis say that they are Muslim. Muslims know that Allah allows men to have up to four wives at the same time. There is nothing wrong with a Pakistani man having a foreign (Muslim) wife as well as a Pakistani wife at the same time. It’s permissible. His intent should be the same for each of his wives – to love them and take care of them and their children. They should have the intent to having a lasting marriage with each of them. He should treat them all with kindness and fairness.

    The problem is that those men only have good intentions for their Pakistani wives and children only. The Pakistani men only want to be bothered with the foreign wives to get what they can from those wives to benefit them and their Pakistani family. They put on a front and pretend and act as though they love the foreign wife more than life itself. It’s to put the foreign wife to sleep until they get citizenship. They then usually divorce the foreign wives and their children. That is use and abuse. It’s uncalled for and it goes against everything that Islam stands for.

    It’s one thing to go into a marriage with ones eyes wide open to the fact that the parties are marrying for citizenship – they both agreed to it. It’s another thing to fool and deceive a person for it.

    If the Pakistani man is a “Believer”, he wouldn’t marry a non-Muslim anyhow. Allah tells the believer not to marry an unbelieving woman until she believes and He tells the Muslim woman not to marry an unbelieving man until he believes. So, it goes to show that the Pakistani man who mixes up with the non-Muslim woman has got some serious issues going on besides trying to delude and deceive those women.

  • Zurina Alvarez

    February 12, 2018

    Ana,

    I think there should be an article on how Pakistani men also use foreign women, not just to get a visa, but also for SEX. Pakistani men use women for their OWN PLEASURE. All they care about is THEIR needs and that’s it.

    However, once the woman becomes pregnant, then he’s not gonna take responsibility for the baby. An illegitimate child is looked down upon in Pakistan according to Aseiya. The Pakistani man will even ask the foreign woman to abort the baby. All I can say is, USE PROTECTION if they’re gonna have sex with a Pakistani man.

  • Moipone

    February 12, 2018

    Wow those stories are heart breaking. I disagree with you Zurina and let me tell you why.I am from South Africa married to a man from Bangladesh.

    Here is what is happening in South Africa there are a lot of men who got married and paid my fellow South African sisters money just to get papers. When I say a lot its a whole of it. These men are Bangladesh, Pakistan, African countries like Nigeria , Congo, to name a few.

    I believe that women who got married and they believed that they were loved not because they want to be used. Unless you agreed to take 35K for marrying the guy for papers.

    What you said that these Pakistan men dont know love I believe that very much.I swear they are different kind of people.

    Ana I would work with the gov to stop this nonsense because there is children involved. Why cant they be honest and just say look I need papers marry me I will pay a certain amount of money.

    What bothers me is why have children knowing very well that the marriage is tempopary. Makes my blood boil and yes have to know what battles to choose indeed.

    Who were they raised? I feel fot those women who feel trapped and abused on top of that.

  • Zurina Alvarez

    February 11, 2018

    The problem here, is that foreign women in general, let their men UNKNOWINGLY use them. They don’t realize that these men came from third world countries and wants what’s best for THEM AND THEIR FAMILY ONLY. I was born in a third world country (the Philippines) and I understand what it’s like. I get that there’s a lack of job opportunities back in Pakistan because it’s the same in the Philippines. I understand that they have to go abroad so that they can find a job in order to provide for their family. What I don’t understand is that they have to resort to USING foreign women. They’re MANIPULATIVE. There’s no need for them to manipulate foreign women. They could’ve done this in an honest way where they don’t have to use people to get what they want.

    I don’t know about romance in Pakistani culture but from the looks of it, majority of Pakistani men sound like they’re incapable of loving. If I’m wrong, then prove me wrong.

    My mother married my stepfather because she needed to be a US citizen but she didn’t manipulate him. I can’t remember much since I was really young but I do know that they agreed to marry. Anyway, my mom and dad were already separated back in the Philippines before she remarried. She divorced my stepfather eventually.

  • anabellah

    February 11, 2018

    I could see myself working with the government to put a stop to what is happening with many of those men. The thing is, I don’t care THAT much. I’m not Pakistani; I’m not married to a Pakistani; I don’t have any friends or family who are married to Pakistanis; so I have no reason to go out my way and get involved in the cause other than provide the information on this site. I’ve got enough on my plate. We need to know which battles are worth fighting and which ones aren’t. It’s not all out war for me.

    Pakistani Men Seek Foreign Women to Marry