Pay No Attention to Others

pay no attention to othersThe best way to adapt to a polygamous lifestyle is to pay no attention to others. Don’t care what they say or think about you. After all, what does it matter what they say or think about you? You can’t get everyone to like you.

Generally, people like those who are like them. They think alike. When you differ from them, they take an exception. They may not openly show it, but they think and feel it inwardly.

There are many women who are in polygamous marriages who have shame about it. They feel embarrassed by what their family, friends and acquaintances think of them, and what they say about them. Why are those who have so much to say about you important to you? Do they help you to grow nearer to your Creator?

Pay no attention to others who do not share your religion

A Muslim who understands Islam knows that his or her way of life will differ from that of one who is not of his or her religion. Religion is a way of life. Therefore, it is silly to think all will understand why she is in a polygamous marriage and what she goes through in it. It is best that she focuses on trying to learn Islam for herself and to understand it with the help and permission of Allah. In other words, ignore those who do not do the same.

If she concerns herself about others and what they think and say, she will be unhappy. In fact, she will stay upset. It will keep her from enjoying her marriage and, most of all, life. It will stand in the way of her focusing on what truly matters. Allah is ALL that matters. He says do not follow those who do not follow our religion-Islam. If we should not follow them, then why care what they say or think? It should not matter.

If she pays attention to others, she may end up abandoning what is good for her

When one tries to please others and tries to conform to what others believe, she has a problem. The cause is in trying to adapt to what is contrary to what she should believe. She gives up on what is good for her. Tests and trial are good for us, in that they help us to see where we excel or where we fall short. It is a means to help us to become better people. Living a polygamous life has many challenges. It could take one to a higher level of understanding of oneself, others, and life.

A wife who wants to live life to the fullest and have contentment and ease should pay no attention to others. It brings her grief and sadness only. All pleasure that is real comes from striving for the good pleasure of Allah. Basically, it means to do His bidding by obeying Him. A way to do it is to accept polygamy and the tests and trials that come with it, if polygamy is her fate. Pay no attention to others. Instead, look to your own salvation and strive for a place in the Hereafter, which is Paradise/Jannah.

Pay no attention to others, as their concern is only with themselves. Rather, attend to yourself and your duties and obligations to your Lord, God, Allah. It is what is important and truly matters.

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  • Flower

    September 18, 2017

    I was thinking about this recently. When I first entered polygamy I had many people to console and pity me. They would give me many opportunitys to complain about my situation and I would go on and on about how I’m not going to live like this forever. After some time I intended to stay in polygamy but thought I would never like it, but would do it for the reward. The same people were still about and admired my intention but they would still encourage me to dislike polygamy. Later down the road I didn’t dislike polygamy (because of the benefits which they could understand) but rather I didn’t like my co because she married my husband. they was happy for me to not like her and again encouraged it. Now, LOVE polygamy and I hold zero resentment for my co. I haven’t seen those people for a while, I moved onto places (in my mind and faith) where they cant reach right now. We are on completely different levels. I suppose some are still waiting for me to leave or something, lol. To be perfectly honest, I can’t be bothered to explain why I stay in polygamy and narrate all the benefits just so others would understand, I don’t care of they understand or not.

  • anabellah

    September 17, 2017

    Serena, Wa Alaikum As Salaam,

    Thank you much for elaborating and adding to the subject 🙂 . We all say things in different ways, which helps to drive home the important points that we need to get. I like how you summed the article up in few words.

    I’ve given thought to how politician are criticized regularly and they seem to handle it so well. They get beat on all the time, but they rise above it and keep on going. I think if they could deal with so much negatively thrown at them and about them almost daily, what’s wrong with us LOL in that we get bent out of shape about FAR LESS and let it take a toll on us. It baffles me.

    Allah tells us to ignore the ignorant. It sounds easy, but it’s not the easiest thing to do. Once we make our intent to do it and call on Allah for help, Insha Allah, we’ll begin to master it.

    Living Islam is a lot of work. It’s our way of life and it’s everything that we do. So, it’s a life long struggle and battle (personal jihad).

  • Serena

    September 17, 2017



    Another great post empahasing how we should be striving as a Muslim to get closer to Allah. People will always have opinions. What matters is we should do nothing that will anger or displease Allah.

    I like how your post talk about this life being a test. It’s all temporary here. We should be working to save ourselves in the life to come. Thanks Ana may Allah reward you.