Peaceful Polygamous Marriages

peaceful polygamous marriages Wives can have peaceful polygamous marriages, but they must learn a thing or two about human nature. Living a polygamous lifestyle in the 21st century is not easy for any woman. It’s because most women don’t want to share a husband.

A woman wants a husband whom she can call her own. People are possessive by nature. Everyone wants to own things. The more things we own, the more accomplished we feel. Wives feel a sense of ownership when it comes to their husbands. When she has a husband whom she thinks she owns, she feels accomplished.

Wives can have peaceful polygamous marriages, but must first learn no one owns anyone

Wives can have peaceful polygamous marriages but must first learn that no one owns anyone. We all belong to Allah who is God. Everyone and everything, including our husbands, belong to Allah. Nothing is ours, not even a husband. We certainly realize it quickly once our husbands marry other women. When it happens, it’s no longer just the one woman and her husband. It’s no longer my husband and me. It’s a wake-up call for any wife to learn that her husband has married or will marry another woman, which makes their marriage polygamous. Wives can have peaceful polygamous marriages when they recognize and admit that their husbands belong to Allah. They must admit that Allah has full control and rule over their husbands. It’s the first step to being at peace in a polygamous marriage.

Wives can have peaceful polygamous marriages once they learn the meaning of life

Wives can have peaceful polygamous marriages once they learn the meaning of life. Many people spend much wasted time trying to learn the meaning of life. When we know we have a purpose in life and know what the purpose is, we have a good start. We have a nice beginning. We need to ask Allah to allow us to read the Quran with sincerity and ask Him to teach and to guide us. The meaning of life is in the Holy Quran. Allah says the Quran is a mercy and a guide for the Believers. Following what is in the Quran is a means for a wife to have the peace and comfort in her life that she longs for. It makes for a peaceful and tranquil marriage.

Allah tells us very simply in the Quran that He created us to serve and to worship Him and Him alone. We should devote our time and attention to the worship of Him. It will get us into Paradise/Jannah. Worshiping our husband’s won’t. Some people mislead women into thinking that the way to Paradise/Jannah is by being devoted to and  serving our husbands. It’s a fallacy. There are no intermediaries when it comes to worshiping Allah and reaping rewards from Him. I think men manipulate women into becoming subservient to them. They mislead women to believe the way to Paradise is by way of them (the husbands). The way to Paradise is strictly by going directly to Allah.

Wives can have peaceful polygamous marriages once they’ve subjugated their desires

Once wives accept that their husbands belong to Allah and not to them, and they know the meaning of life, they need to subjugate their desires. Wives can have peaceful polygamous marriages once they’ve subjugated their desires. All of what we’ve learned in this world life about going after and getting what we want, we have to unlearn. Much of what we learned is useless knowledge. It won’t help us to grow nearer to Allah in His attribute, nor help us reach our goal in life. We should do what we must to enter Paradise/Jannah, making it our goal in life. We should do all we can to obey Allah to enter Jannah/Paradise. We know what to do and how to do it by reading the Quran. When we read the Holy Quran, we know what Allah expects of us.

Wives can have peaceful polygamous marriages when they learn to accept what Allah decrees. If a woman is in a polygamous marriage, it’s because it pleases Allah. Allah willed it.  Allah knows what is best for us. He planned our lives out for us. He wrote the script.

Our lives are never what we expected. Sometimes we don’t know what to expect, but we expect something. We always seem displeased. We’re always searching for something to fill a void in our hearts and make us fulfilled. Worshiping and serving Allah properly will do it.

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Related Articles:
How to Live Polygamy in Peace
Polygamous Marriages Lack Peace

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67 Comments

  • anabellah

    March 24, 2017

    NurZulaika,

    I understand your concern about not having a legal marriage. It’s just one of those things that you can’t get around and change (at least not right now), if his other wife has one. We have to know are limitations with regard to change. Everything can’t be the way that we want them to be. As you acknowledged, it just may be your test/trial. The most important thing to know and believe about it is that your marriage will be valid in the sight of Allah. Whether others accept it doesn’t matter. It on you as to whether you dwell negatively on your marriage not being registered.

    You said as you’re government-employed and people could get access to the data to know your marriage isn’t register. Well, if it’s not your prospective husband or his wife, but others are all up in your business that way, it’s their personal problems. They have nothing better to do than to conduct research on and investigate you? How sad for them.

    You have to fight the good fight and battle Satan against his whispers. Learn not to listen to what they say or concern yourself with what they do. You’ll be okay. They only dig a hole for themselves. Be flattered that they care so much about you to spend their precious time in deep thought about you. You matter to them that much. How sad….

  • NurZulaika

    March 24, 2017

    Anabellah,

    Thank you.. Yes, I like him very much. I respect him.
    It’s just that, I always fear of being labeled. Marriages in my country must be registered legally, and the data is updated and accessible if we are government-employed.

    Nonetheless, you are right. I should rise above them. I should dare to be different. I should look at it from a spiritual perspective. Perhaps this is my test/trial.

  • anabellah

    March 23, 2017

    NurZulaika,

    You don’t want to begin a marriage calling yourself a “second wife”. If you marry him, you will be his “wife”. You just happened to marry him in the order of second.

    Additionally, it’s not necessary for you to announce to the world that he has another wife either, unless you simply just want to tell people. It’s up to you to make the judgement call. If you know certain people frown on polygamy, you don’t need to rub it in their faces by telling them that you’re in a polygamous marriage. If someone asks you if he has another wife, you don’t need to hide it either. If you think it would jeopardize your job or his if you let onto people that you’re in a polygamous marriage, then, of course, you don’t tell them. Use discretion and proceed cautiously. You’d need to deal with telling people about it on a case by case basis. Allah tells us not to let those outside our ranks into our intimacy. Many people don’t believe as we do, and they create doubt in us. Allah says that when we doubt, He places doubt on top of doubt and then we go astray.

    It’s important that you know that Allah says fear Him and Him alone. Furthermore, he says, don’t concern ourselves with the reproaches of others. People are going to cast blame on us and disapprove of things that we do. Those people don’t put food on your table or pay your bills or provide anything for you. So why care about what they say or think? It won’t help you enter Jannah. It won’t bring you closer to Allah, but would most likely do the opposite. There aren’t many believers out here, so you’re going to have opposition. It’s on you to know that it’s what they do. Know that if they aren’t part of the solution, they are part of the problem. Most people follow desires. Most don’t desire to be a part of a polygamous marriage. So, you could expect to receive negative reactions from most about it, if they know that you’re a part of a polygamous marriage.

    You must rise above that and see it all as part of your tests/trials. Any marriage, whether monogamous or polygamous takes work to make it a good one. When a person grows closer to Allah, worship Him properly and have her or his eyes on Jannah/Paradise, marriage and life becomes easy. Of course it won’t be all bliss here on this planet, as it’s not Paradise. But Allah promises the believers that He will dispose of their affairs towards comfort and ease.

    I think the article that I wrote yesterday should be helpful to you as well. The link is: Tackle Issues about Polygamy in Islam

    We’re here for you and will try to answer your question and help as best we can :-)

  • anabellah

    March 23, 2017

    NurZulaika, Wa Alaikum As Salaam! Welcome to the 411 :-)

    I’m happy to hear the article was helpful to you and Alhumdulliah that you found this blog. Furthermore, I want to thank you much for commenting.

    You are correct that a husband belongs to Allah, as we all do. You asked, “Could it be that this polygamous marriage proposal is Allah’s will for me?”

    Everything that happens was will by Allah. Everything that exists and that is, was created by Allah. He decreed it. If you marry the man whom proposed marriage to you, it happened because Allah willed it.

    If you like the man and would like to marry him, then make your intention and do what you must to bring it to fruition, if it pleases Allah. So, the answer to your question is, “Yes”.

    About the people who see women as “marriage destroyers and husband snatcher” who marry in the order of 2nd, 3rd or 4th. That’s their problem. Don’t make it yours. You don’t need them to validate you. Be better than they are. Be the one who wants to submit herself to Allah’s will in Islam. You be the one who wants to accept all of the Quran and not just the parts that she likes. Dare to be different.

  • NurZulaika

    March 23, 2017

    assalamu’alaikum.
    Thank you for writing this article.
    I am a muallaf. My first marriage did not work out well due to domestic violence and ended up in divorce.
    Currently, I become very good friends with a married man, who happens to be my former lecturer at a local university 14 years ago.
    Early this year, he proposed to me, to be the 2nd wife.
    I was overwhelmed, and unsure what to decide. My family (Catholics) are very supportive. They are not against the proposal of polygamous marriage.
    And as for me, I am afraid, actually, because the society or netizens in my country, tend to stigmatize 2nd/3rd/4th wives as marriage destroyers and husband snatchers.
    Reading this article, the contents are very close to my heart. They enlighten me and broaden my perspective.
    A husband always belongs to Allah.
    A woman is in a polygamous marriage because it pleases Allah, and Allah knows what is best for her.

    Could it be that this polygamous marriage proposal is Allah’s will for me?

  • Kamal Khan

    January 7, 2017

    Assalam O Alakum

     i want to second merrage with a women. who want second merrage contect m on this E-mail

  • anabellah

    October 15, 2016

    Aminah,  Wa Alaikum As Salaam,

    It sounds to me that he wants you to give up your legal Marriage License so that he could marry her legally. If she’s not Muslim and is only considering taking the Shahadah, she may have let him know that the only way she will marry him is if it’s legal.

    You have no way of knowing whether he’ll leave you completely for her being that he’s already divorced you Islamically. If he’s divorced you Islamically, it means you right now, currently are not married to him. You are in the Idaat period right now. Therefore the legal Marriage License means nothing.

    The license is only good to the extent that you could get some legal recourse in a court of law. Go to court and get him ordered to pay alimony and child support if you’re in the US. I don’t know the laws in other countries.

  • Aminah

    October 14, 2016

    ??? As Salaamu Alaikum, Sis, I loved your reply. Since then my husband has declared divorce islamically. He said he is issuing one divorce until we can come to terms. I feel that his “baby mama” is a big issue here. She is unbelieving, but when she found out we were married she said she was ready to take Shahada. You can figure out the rest. He claims that has nothing to do with it and that their conversations are “dawah” motivated. I don’t care about her becoming my co. I hope she takes Shahada so we can have some peace! I just don’t want to give up my right and contract. He said he would reconsider. But now a new problem has arrived. I must admit I question his judgment a lot when it comes to the baby mama. He even spent the night with her since we’ve been married. The baby is 2 months old. We’ve been married a month. And all this fitnah. It would be hard on any woman. He says I’m stressing him out and grows more and more impatient with me daily. I has 5 children from previous relationships who love him dearly. He let me quit working so I could stay home with them. He is a very good provider and treats me very well. I love my husband, I just am struggling to process all of this and now that he has issued one divorce if I what to think or do but DUA!

  • anabellah

    October 13, 2016

    Aminah, Wa Alaikum As Salaam,

    It’s nice to have you here.

    With regard to your question about the legal Marriage License/Certificate, I don’t know of anything Islamic that says you can’t have one. You asked if your husband could make you get rid of it. He can. All he has to do is divorce you legally in the court system and then you won’t have one anymore. It’s what anyone with a Marriage License needs to do to get rid of the License and not be married legally, whether the person is Muslim or non-Muslim. Get divorced or get it annulled.

    Other than that way, can he make you? Only you know what your husband can MAKE you do.

    My husband and I have a legal Marriage License. Before he and I agreed to marry, he and I both agreed that we’d have a legal Marriage License, and he said he had no intention to become polygamous. I wouldn’t give my Marriage License up for all the tea in China. I wouldn’t give my Marriage License up under any condition or circumstance. It’s his and my contract and contracts are to be honored. Any woman who my husband marries after me and while married to me would know that he and I had that before she came along and she accepts it or don’t marry him.

    Some women have given up their Marriage License so that the husband could marry another woman from another country and bring her to this country or another. It’s very generous of the person. I’m not that generous to give mine up for anyone and anything. If my husband wants me not to have one, then he could divorce me in a court of law, and he and I can go on our merry way separately, not together, and not married. Period, end of story. Insha Allah, I’ll go marry someone else or not marry at all. Allah knows best.

  • Aminah

    October 13, 2016

    As Salaamu Alaikum,  sisters please help me. I recently married and my husband wants me to revoke our legal marriage but keep the Islamic marriage. He feels I shouldn’t have sole legal authority over him when he may take on other wives. However,  before we married I stipulated that I needed that legal document for security. Do I have to comply? Can he make me do This? A llāhu Alam.

  • anabellah

    May 10, 2016

    Zainab,

    Happy you’re here, Sis. Anytime you get inspired to chat, just jump in, Insha Allah https://www.polygamy411.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_heart.gif

  • Zainab

    May 10, 2016

    https://www.polygamy411.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_heart.gif Alhamdulilah , Jazak’Allaah khaira for the advice. I am so happy to be apart of the blog, sometimes I feel very confused about polygyny but insha Allaah this blog will help when I need advice. May Allaah subhaanah wa ta’ilah reward you all and continue to Gide us to the correct path , Ameen ya rabb ?

  • anabellah

    May 10, 2016

    Zainab, Wa Alaikum As Salaam, Welcome! It’s nice to have you here :-)

    As ummof4 said, sometimes the husbands want to show off all their wives and children. I think some want to flex and feel important, like big daddy or something. It’s enough to make me want to barf LOL

    The men fail to realize that just because it’s their dream come true to have more than one wife, it’s not the wives’ dream. The husbands may have expectations of how his polygamous life will be, how it will look, how it would all play out, but it doesn’t make it necessarily so. The wife may not have the same expectations that he does and he’s simple projecting his own expectations onto his wives. The husbands then can’t understand why it’s not turning out to be the way he wants it to be.

    It’s because he doesn’t know that we plot and plan and Allah is the Best of Planners. The husband’s plan may not be how Allah planned it. If it’s not going the way the husband wants, then his plan apparently wasn’t Allah’s plan.

    I love ummof4’s post to you. I especially liked when she said, “Remind him that you are his wives, not his children, and he can’t pick your friends for you.” https://www.polygamy411.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_good.gif

  • ummof4

    May 10, 2016

    Zainab, welcome to the blog and welcome to polygyny.  You seem to be at peace with yourself and accepting of your husband’s new marriage.

    To answer your question, sometimes the first or second wife wants to be close to the other and sometimes the husband wants his wives to be close.  Men often want to appear as if they have it “all together”.  They want people to look at them and how they are able to keep 2 women happy and have “one big happy family”. They want to show off their wives and children. These husbands often forget that they have no right to pick their wives’ friends.  Women have a right to befriend whomever they want as long as the person is not a danger to their religion or their safety.  Some husbands think that just because they married more than one wife, the wives have to become best friends.  Not so!

    My advice to you is that you speak to your husband and let him know that you feel that the friendship between you and his other wife needs to develop naturally as you two women decide that it will develop.  He should not push the issue or both of you may begin to resent him and each other.  Remind him that you are his wives, not his children, and he can’t pick your friends for you.

    May Allah guide us all to the straight path and keep us on it.

  • Zainab

    May 10, 2016

    As salaamu alaikum wa Rahmantullah wa barakaatu,  

    My name is Zainab, I am new to polygamy,  my husband just got married 3 weeks ago. I wanted to know if anyone else’s husband tries to push them to be close with their co-wife,  this is happening to me and it is creating alot of jealousy and fitnah between us. Subhannallah i always wanted to be close with my co-wife but when she had voiced to me that she doesn’t want that kind of relationship,  i kinda took a step back from her.  My husband still wants us to be close so he tries to take us places together and push me to call her on the phone.  But how close should you be with your co, and is it too soon into the marriage for all this? 

  • coco

    December 26, 2014

    Ana
    I just replied back to the one you sent me a lil while ago it’s my second one ☺️ lol

  • anabellah

    December 26, 2014

    coco,

    No problemah. You’re no bother at all. I just sent you an email. Insha Allah, I will check my email more regularly, at least once a day. Much love

  • coco

    December 26, 2014

    Ana
    Sorry me again please check your inbox sorry to bug you on the weekend
    Much love ❤️

  • coco

    December 26, 2014

    Kadijah
    A warm welcome to the blog ☺️ If you don’t mind my asking are you in a polygamous setup currently or thinking of plunging in?

  • anabellah

    December 26, 2014

    @Shabanah, Hey You,

    I think Kadijah is new. Thank you, my dear for welcoming her

    @kajijah,

    Welcome! I’m happy to hear you liked the post.

  • Shabanah

    December 26, 2014

    Kadijah are you new here? Welcome :)

  • Kadijah

    December 26, 2014

    very nice article thankyou

  • anabellah

    December 24, 2014

    I made a correction below. I had put open for “discussion and debate”. I changed it to “disputation and debate.”

  • anabellah

    December 24, 2014

    Shabanah, As Salaamu Alaikum

    You don’t have to do all that in the future LOL Next time you quote a Hadith, please just let me know what it means to you. I’ve read that particular saying from a Hadith and it never made any sense to me. The weird part about it is that if the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) did say what someone said he said to somebody that people were able to remember, tell another and authenticate – what was said may have only been for the person that the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) personally was speaking to at the time, up close and person, and knew the person’s exact circumstances to apply it to.

    I know what is in the Quran, Allah revealed to the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) for all of mankind, everyone on the planet and it clear and not open for disputation or debate. It doesn’t have to be authenticated or isn’t open for various interpretations.

  • Shabanah

    December 24, 2014

    Wow

    I was just quoting a hadith didnt know it would turn into a debate. I imagined you all read it as well. Thank you ummof4 for clarifying and letting me know not to quote hadiths without time/date location actual hadith syllable to syllable reference translation in three languages as well as commentary.

  • anabellah

    December 24, 2014

    ummof4, As Salaamu Alaikum,

    You said a mouth full when you said that we could do all we’re supposed to do and it would still be only be the Mercy and permission of Allah that we enter Jannah. It’s heavy, but not very many understand it.

    What you described to Shabanah about the private spa, private chef and driver etc, I could get with all of it. It’s right up my alley and I’m not ruling any of it out, especially a driver. I frighten people with my driving. Allah has been very Merciful when it comes to me driving and not killing myself or others.

    It was nice reading your post. I saw a different side of you. You seem more human and less robotic. I don’t mean to insult you. It seems you just let your hair down and relaxed a bit. You’re A okay!!!

  • anabellah

    December 24, 2014

    ummof4, As Salaamu Alaikum,

    I get it now. You and Marie clarified for me what it meant by the saying. I took it literally. I think many people take it literally. It could get confusing. Anyhow, thanks for the clarification

  • anabellah

    December 24, 2014

    ummof4, As Salaamu Alaikum,

    I was laughing, as well, when you spoke about – this is 1/2 your faith and that is 1/2 your faith LOL I remember saying to myself years ago when reading the hadiths – how many halves do I have? I read about five different things or more were 1/2 my faith. I know two halves make a whole.

  • Marie

    December 24, 2014

    Just to add to my situation. My husband couldn’t be bothered to chase or convince my co to marry him. He said many time’s he can live happily having only me as a wife. in the end she stopped being stubborn and basically asked him to marry her. He would have married her before but he was not prepared to sweet talk her. I guess all his dua was answered and Allah made it easy for him, he didn’t have to go chasing.

  • ummof4

    December 24, 2014

    As-salaamu Alaikum and hello to all,

    There is a hadeeth that says marriage is half of faith; there is a hadeeth that says cleanliness is half of faith. These hadeeth simply point out that these actions are important in Islaam, not literally that one is only half a Muslim without them. So yes, a clean married Muslim will not automatically enter Jannah solely based on these two actions. We must obey Allah and perform the acts of ebaadah(worship) as He has instructed us to enter Jannah. And even then, it will only be through the mercy and permission of Allah.

    Marie, you said it well.

    Shabanah, I don’t know if I could live in the same house as my co-wives. Well, maybe if we each had a separate part of a huge mansion, complete with a swimming pool, sauna, spa, movie theatre, bowling alley, private chef for each wife and private chauffeur for each wife( I don’t want a maid, because I don’t like people looking through my personal stuff). I’m easy to get along with, but at times I just need my space. I can’t be phony, so if I really don’t like someone, I try to limit my contact with her. She is not necessarily a bad, evil person, we just don’t click. I’m a bit of a nerd, so if you don’t study Islam with me, or discuss Islam with me, we have little to talk about.

    I do have friends in polygynous marriages who live in the same house or in a duplex, and they seem to get along well. They don’t badmouth each other and no blood has been shed. They rear the children together and are good friends, Alhamdulillah.

    May we all earn Allah’s mercy and forgiveness and be allowed to enter Jannatul Firdaus.

  • Marie

    December 24, 2014

    I think my husband spent more time than I would have liked contemplating whether or not to marry again. I suspect that he made a lot of dua asking Allah for guidance about that situation too. Maybe now he make dua for other things, I don’t know, he makes a lot of dua. Lol. I’d say he stayed the same but its less stressful than dealing with her not as his wife.

    It’s something I didn’t mention, that choosing/ intending to marry a person is also a proof (for yourself, and maybe current wives) of one’s level of faith. Who we intend to marry can tell us a lot, in terms of faith.

  • anabellah

    December 24, 2014

    Marie,

    You could use yourself for an example. If I’m correct, part of your distaste for your husband’s other has to do with the fact that while he was married to you and not her, she was always in the picture. She was in the picture not only due to the fact she had children by him, but because they were off and on about whether they should marry or not. She seemed to be stringing him along. So you couldn’t get on with polygamy, as she wouldn’t marry and you couldn’t settle into your monogamous marriage with your husband either as she was always dangling a carrot at him, so to speak.

    So, if we look at the statement of half the deen of your husband being satisfied when he married you, it would be questionable, due to his preoccupation with his potential future wife. Perhaps now, your husband could focus his attention more on the worship of Allah and not having to contemplate whether to pursue or not to pursue the other.

  • anabellah

    December 24, 2014

    Marie,

    I’m tracking. When a person isn’t out there all horny, trying to get laid and he or she goes ahead and get married, he or she could devote more time to settling down and focusing on Allah and worship in hope of entering Jannah/Paradise. At least a person doesn’t have to be out there chasing down a spouse.

    I’m definitely not saying that the person devotes time to Allah and worship of Him, as he or she should. Many people get married and still don’t focus on Allah and worship.

    By the same token, however, men marry and they still chase down other women and can’t focus on their marriage or religion. Some commit adultery and some run after a 2nd, 3rd or 4th wife. What does anyone have to say about that and marriage having been 1/2 the person’s religion??? Marriage did diddly squat for the person.

  • Marie

    December 24, 2014

    No, I don’t believe that a person who never married, has not completed half their deen. And I don’t believe that a person who is married has completed half their deen JUST by being married. To put it simply.

  • anabellah

    December 24, 2014

    Marie, Wa Alaikum As Salaam,

    I agree with all that you said about the benefits of marriage. I agree with it 100%. It all makes sense and it’s logical. People need to JUST SAY IT – what you said. You said it PLAIN AND SIMPLE. You didn’t leave any room for question and dialogue about it. It’s what I’m saying.

    To put it out there that marriage is half a person’s deen opens a whole can of worms. It opens the door for debate. The statement is questionable. It doesn’t make sense. It’s not logical. Further more, foremost and most importantly, Allah doesn’t say it.

  • anabellah

    December 24, 2014

    I just wanted to add, either one has faith or doesn’t. There are believers and unbelievers. A “Muslim” or a person who calls himself “Muslim” doesn’t necessarily have faith. It’s apparent. We see it everywhere, everyday.

    Gail spoke on it. She said many born “Muslim” think they have a birthright, simply because they were born Muslim. We know there are many Muslims who don’t practice their religion. They have never read the Quran. They don’t fast the Holy Month of Ramadan. They don’t give in charity.hey don’t pray five times a day. Yet, they say they are “Muslim”. Allah in the Quran speaks to “Muslims”, “believers”, “Unbelievers”, “Hypocrites” and all types of people. Allah specifically tells us in the Holy Quran that just because someone has taken the Shahadah doesn’t mean that they have faith. Faith hasn’t entered their hearts. Allah tells us to submit our whole selves to His will in Islam. He doesn’t speak of getting it half right.

    I’m just saying; what Allah says in the Quran can’t be debated. One doesn’t have to try to figure out what it means. It makes sense to follow a sure thing which is what Allah says in the Quran that can’t be disputed. This partial faith and half faith is misleading and questionable. It’s what I’m saying.

    I’m not saying marriage is wrong or right. Of course marriage is something we could do; the same as divorce. Marriage is what it is. People have made it more than what Allah makes of it. No one said marriage in and of itself is a bad thing. Marriage to a person Allah says don’t marry could be perceived as a bad thing.

    Don’t make someone who is not married feel badly by telling him or her that she or he has not completed half his or her faith. Allah determines who gets married when and to whom. The person can’t get married unless Allah decrees it. He or she may never marry. I’m simply asking, does it mean the person won’t enter Paradise/Jannah because half the person’s faith wasn’t completed????

  • Marie

    December 24, 2014

    ooooh Ana, I love the cyber snow that falls on the blog. im on my laptop so iv only just noticed it. nice touch, for the winter months

  • Marie

    December 24, 2014

    asalamu alaykum all,

    I feel inspired to make an attempt to explain the hadith “marriage is half ones deen”

    what’s important is to put hadith in the right context. obviously it cannot contradict the Quran. now, assuming one follows the Quran and does not marry someone who we shouldn’t, does not commit fornication before hand, is not a disbeliever ect… how does one complete half their deen though marriage. firstly it will HELP to protect the married person from fornication and HELP them lower their gaze. fornication as we have mentioned is a despicable sin and many will be lead to the hellfire through not protecting their chastity. secondly IF marriage is done right (the way Allah tells us) one will learn and practice many righteous characteristics by the help and will of Allah. like patience, perseverance, kindness, generosity, reminding others about Allah, being charitable, enjoying good and forbidding evil. all these things can and are done outside of marriage, however a married person need not even leave the comfort of their own home in order to rack up good deeds and practice the characteristics of a pious Muslim. its appears easier than going out everyday and dealing with different kinds of people. side note: all of the above acts must be done solely for reward from Allah/sake of Allah, in order for them to count as a good deed.

    I will conclude by saying that the completion of ones deen is not done simply by being married but by the lessons you learn during your marriage Insha’Allah. its not the case that one should put their feet up the day they get married and say “well i’m married now, that’s half my faith” WRONG, neither is it the case that one who does not get married or divorced has not or cannot completed half their deen. it may also be that one gets married, dies and STILL has not increased in faith. it may also be that one is in a polygamous marriage and by the other marriage one learns and practices the characteristics of a believing/pious Muslim. The hadith only stands when one is adhering to the instructions for life given to us by Allah. its not a get out of hell free card. Allah allowed marriage, so it must be good for ones faith: if done correctly.

    If I have erred, in anyway then it is from my own self. If I have said anything wrong or that contradicts the Quran please do remind me so I may correct my belief and repent for any wrong I may have done/said.

  • anabellah

    December 24, 2014

    Shubanah,

    About being friends with a co-wife for the sake of Allah, we should do things for the good of our soul, seeking to please Allah. Allah doesn’t need us for anything.

    With regard to people, Allah tells us who to be friends with and who not to be friends with. There are NUMEROUS Ayat (verses) in the Holy Quran in which Allah speaks about “friends” and “friendship”. He tells us who to take into our intimacy. Those are the guidelines that we should use when we look at a co-wife and determine whether to befriend the person or not.

    The fact that a woman is married to the husband is not one of the criterion to befriend her. If a wife befriend another wife whom Allah tells us not to befriend, she disobeys Allah. Are you saying it’s okay to disobey Allah to please a husband?

    Allah tells us if a person gives us a greeting to return it with a greeting equal to it or one better. He tells us to be kind and just to people. He tells us how to deal with our enemies and how to deal with those whom we are at war with. It’s all a criteria that we should use in dealing with or not dealing with a co-wife, as well.

    Just because a husband married someone doesn’t mean we have to be the person’s friend or try to befriend the person. If the person is not of the rank of the other, for Instance if the husband married someone Allah tells him not to marry, the wife doesn’t have to befriend the woman.

    Allah tells us that the BELIEVERS are friends and protectors of one another.

  • anabellah

    December 24, 2014

    Shubanah,

    You said, marriage is half our faith. I have to differ with you on that one. Marriage is half our faith makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. First and foremost, Allah never anywhere in the Holy Quran tells us that marriage is half our faith. He doesn’t even allude to it. Allah tells us what faith is. He tells us what a believer is. He tells us what deeds we must do to enter Jannah/Paradise. We must do righteous deeds, such as pray our five daily prayers, give in charity, fast the Holy Month of Ramadan, etc. He did not mention marriage as one of them. Allah says He has left nothing out of the Quran that is important.

    It’s mighty strange that so many people put emphasis on – Marriage – there aren’t very many ayat (verses) in the Holy Quran that addresses Marriage. So, much for it’s importance. He tells men how many women to marry, who to marry and not marry and how marriage is to be done (witnesses and dowry, for instance). He does not say marriage is mandatory.

    No where in Quran does Allah say a person must get married. Allah says all of His Prophets are our example. Prophet Jesus (PBUH) never married. It leads me to believe marriage is not required. One could marry the way the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and some of Allah’s other Prophets did or may not marry the way Prophet Jesus (PBUH) didn’t. Not everyone on the planet gets married.

    Are you saying that only married people will enter Paradise/Jannah? Are you saying that if Allah seizes a person’s soul when he or she aren’t married that since the person didn’t complete half his or her faith, the person won’t enter Paradise/Jannah?

    What happens to the person who marries and then divorces? Has the person lost half his faith? Divorce is permissible in Islam. Are you saying a person must stay in a marriage that is not a good one, simply so the person doesn’t lose half his or her faith?

    Does staying in a “bad” marriage qualify as completing half one’s faith. It’s a crap marriage. How has the marriage helped the person with his or her faith? Say, for instance the person, is married, but is an adulterer. He or she has completed half his or her faith by simply being married?

    There are men married to non-Muslims. Allah TELLS US in the Holy Quran, who to marry and who not to marry. Has the person completed half his faith when he married a person Allah tells us not to marry? Allah says the person will lead the Muslim astray. He didn’t say the person may lead the Muslim astray. He said the person will.

    There is nothing to support the statement that marriage is half a person’s faith. Allah never said it, nor alluded to it. It is fallacy.

  • Shabanah

    December 24, 2014

    Mari2 and Ana

    I agree its not incumbent upon the wives to get along with one another but it is the right thing to do for the sake of Allah not for a husbands sake or to make his life easier but to earn sole pleasure of Allah. Im not sure how life is having separate dwellings from your co/co’s I have yet to experience that but living under one roof in a way makes you just as married to your co as you are your husband…not literally but anytime I have a dispute with my second co it creates a problem between my husband and I. So I have to suck it up in order to keep my marriage on good terms as its half of my faith. I have to be an example for my children as well. Our kids are siblings my co’s are their mothers too. I dont want to raise my children around negative energy so i try my hardest to resolve issues with adaab or sweep things under the rug and believe me there’s a whole lotta i$|-| under there
    As Ana said if we are faithful believing women we would all get along for the pleasure of Allah and to attain Janna. So lets focus

    Ana, thats so gross. A muslim suggesting a 3some. People are unbelievable.

  • anabellah

    December 24, 2014

    Mari2,

    You made valid points. Allah says He deposes of the Believers affairs towards comfort and ease. It means that if the individual doesn’t worship Allah as He prescribes in the Holy Quran they will not have comfort and ease. Therefore, how does a husband expect tranquility in a marriage, if he and his wives aren’t all believers?

    Many of these men marry women for all kinds of reasons and the reason may not be for their faith. If they all were faithful believing women with a faithful (full of faith) believing husband, they would all get along, because their focus would be on seeking the good pleasure of Allah and attaining Paradise/Janah.

    As you stated, many of these men marry any woman and expect them to get along to make his life easier. On top of it, they use saying that are not in the Quran to get their wives to be obedient to them. They say obeying the husband will get the wives into Paradise, which is a flat out lie. There is no intermediary for a person to enter Paradise. Furthermore, Allah tells us to only obey those who obey Him. Some of these husbands don’t obey Allah. Some marry women who Allah says don’t marry and have babies by them.

    One sister came to the blog years ago and said her husband had just gotten out of prison and wanted to marry another woman and have them all have sex together. Just because a husband says he is Muslim doesn’t mean a wife has to obey him. He could tell her to go prostitute so they could have more money. Many women are being mislead by some of these men. Instead of the men encouraging the wives to obey Allah, they put the emphasis on the wives obeying them (the husbands.)

    Mari2, I’m with you. A husband needs to learn how to handle his business and not push his responsibilities off onto the wives. He should be more selective in whom he marries. He should make sure they will get along with one another before he marries the women. Don’t marry them and say, okay, now you all get along. It doesn’t work that way.

  • Mari2

    December 24, 2014

    Musa Mohammed,
    I enjoyed reading your post, and thank you for sharing your perspective. I do think that as a polygamous wife, it is very important to please my husband (second to Allah). And in a perfect world wouldn’t it be wonderful if all wives (their families and subsequent children) could get along?

    While I firmly believe in Allah first, my husband second….pleasing my husbands other wives???? Why? Yes, pleasing my husband’s other wife may help my husband live in peace with her…at my whim. But why should I? Should a woman live in “peace” with another strictly to please her husband? That would make the husband a lord and the wife she chooses to please a duchess, so to speak. While it is always helpful to a man if his women get along, there is no requirement upon the women to do so just to make their husband’s lives easier. If Allah wills polygamy for men, why then should the “problem solving, familial issues, monetary/scheduling stuff” be the requirements of women? No it should not. Allah allows for polygamy for men. No where in the quran does it say anything like the man can marry up to 4 wives, and all issues thereafter must be solved by the wives. Marry the wives and accept all that comes after because THAT is precisely what ALLAH probably willed for you. Quit throwing blame/requirements on the wives. Wives are NOT required by the quran to get along with one another in order to make your life easier. The burden of their discontent is what Allah willed for you. It is YOUR TEST. Not theirs.

  • Mari2

    December 23, 2014

    @Gail,
    Azan for fajr was one thing I too enjoyed while living in Pakistan. I usually awoke early (thanks to neighboring roosters)and would lay in bed and reflect on things. Then azan came on and I would go wake M. He would pray with me, then leave to mosque. While I found Pakistan to be stifling as far as freedom of movement outside the compound, I did find my time there to be rather relaxing too. There was no hurry to hurry and do anything. There are definitely pros to living there. Cons too. And yes while there I did miss the USA for mostly access to HOT water. The shopping and food and hospitality are divine. But as a clean freak, while I prepared for some hardship, things did bother me. Small children crawling in the COLD dirt of courtyards with dirty clothes and hands. It was cold! And no coats on these babies! When picked up they felt like cold little dolls. Cold hands, cold feet. Dust everywhere. I was also affected (respitory-wise) by the pollution just I was in London, NYC and when living in Germany (so it’s not a Pakistan only thing). Just an air pollution issue.

  • coco

    December 21, 2014

    Shabanah
    Hehehe ☺️❤️

  • Shabanah

    December 21, 2014

    Gail

    You are so down to earth and I loveee it Lol. I love being able to wake up in the early mornings to the Athaan (call to prayer) and nasheeds (singing) its so peaceful. I too love all the good Pakistan has to offer but I do miss the USA and family/friends.

  • Shabanah

    December 20, 2014

    Gail

    Yes you guessed correctly. My other two cowives are not Pakistani. Im all for you writing an EBook. Im sure it will be a bestseller :) Awesome idea.
    Oh and i totally get where you’re coming from about wanting to venture out into the bazaars daily. I try to get out every chance i get i cant stay boxed up it does something to you hehe. Its so nice having others to conversate with who gets you. Whew.

    Ummu ‘Ain
    Im so glad you’re here and can’t wait to hear more about you.

    Coco
    You *snap* are *snap* hilarious Lol

  • Ummu 'Ain

    December 20, 2014

    Masyaa’Allah…thank you for all the warm welcome. You made me comfortable right away…till I am so excited to share my story. Hehe…

    However, I’m very much aware the procedure of this home. So I will share my story in the december discussions. See you there!!

  • coco

    December 20, 2014

    Musa Mohammed
    Assalaamualeikum brother I very much enjoyed reading your post. It’s always fresh to hear and learn from a man’s perspective. I’m glad you’rehere it would be nice to see you around more often to shed some light. InshAllah May Allah keep you blessed! ☺️

  • coco

    December 20, 2014

    Ummu ‘Ain
    Assalaamualeikum sister. The others have done a lovely job in welcoming you here but nonetheless welcome to the blog! I’m so happy to know you decided to finally write in after a year of silently reading. Please do continue its therapeutic to say the least. If you’re comfortable and don’t mind sharing please do tell us how your journey began in polygany? Glad to have one more mashAllah! Ana the magnificence of this blog is getting OUT *snap* OF *snap* CONTROL *snap* mashAllah hehehe Much love to you Ummu ‘Ain ☺️ xo

  • anabellah

    December 20, 2014

    @Musa Mohmammed,

    Many wives in polygamous marriage are known to ask for divorce when they are upset or angry about something in their marriage. I say, if it happens quite regularly, call their bluff. Say, okay, you want a divorce, let’s begin the addat period. See how long it takes them to straighten up and fly right. Perhaps then they’d realize the seriousness of what they’re asking for. Allah knows best.

    There reached a point when the Prophet Muhammad’s (PBUH) wives were giving him a difficult time. He offered to set them free. They got themselves together very quickly. If a husband is giving the marriages all he’s got; he’s giving his all and all, and nothing seems to be working, there are other avenues he could pursue: oath of abstention as mentioned in the Quran in which the parties separate for a while and then determine whether to continue the marriage or dissolve it; mediation (getting a male representative from both the husband and wife’s families to mediate the problems); divorce. Even once divorced, they can reconcile. Sometimes you may have to let one go, after you’ve given it all you’ve got

  • anabellah

    December 20, 2014

    @Musa Mohammed, As Salaamu Alaikum, brother :-)

    It’s always good to hear from you. Thank you for writing in and encouraging us to turn to Allah for Peace, as you said, He (Allah) is the only one who could give peace to us.

    You told it like it is; there is no guarantee that should a wife leave her marriage, she will find a better life with someone else. It’s a risk. The grass is not always greener on the otherside. It only looks that way.

    I think if women are not in an abusive relationship, facing domestic violence type situations, and they are unhappy, they are not only unhappy with their marriage, but unhappy with life. They don’t know the meaning of life. They only know their wants and desires. Sometimes they don’t know what they want. They are at a loss. It goes back to knowing that no one else can make someone happy.

    Until the wife comes to know the true meaning of life and our purpose here on this planet, she can’t begin to find peace in her life.

    I’m just curious. You said your one wife is better at accepting the lifestyle and keeping peace than the other two. Would you say she is the wife who you see as the most righteous of the three? What does the other two seem to be disgruntled about? Do they simply just not like living polygamy? Are you unsure what their problem is and think they are unsure what their problems are, as well? Those are just some questions to ponder the answer to, perhaps.

  • anabellah

    December 20, 2014

    Gail,

    Insha Allah, you definitely should write an Ebook or/and book about the topic A book such as it is much needed, and would be a very good read – very informative. You experienced it all. You lived it up close and personal, firsthand.

    It seems the Pakistani men marrying foreigners is an epidemic. It’s probably the expected norm as much or a little less than them marrying their first cousins.

    The book is very much needed and I know no one better than you to write it. You’re knowledgeable, funny, intelligent, and articulate. I’d say go for it. Insha Allah, you could promote the book here on the blog as well – the same as I mentioned to ummof4 about the book she’s writing. Gail, I’m very excited by the thought that you may write a book. Cool!

  • Gail

    December 20, 2014

    Ummu Ain,
    I meant to say raising my excowife children.I am not raising my excowife.lol
    I have been raising my excowife children since her son was 1 yr old and her daughter was born a month after my marriage to hubby and I became pregnant after her daughter was born with a another son.My excowife lives in a village in Pakistan and she has just always floated back and forth.Her son has always lived with me from day one my husband and I got married but she kept the daughter with her off and on until age 6.Anytime we were in Pakistan her and the our daughter lived with us in Rawalpindi Pakistan.

  • Gail

    December 20, 2014

    Ana,
    I am so amazed at how many woman are coming forward little by little that are married to Pakistani men on the blog.You really got me thinking about writing an Ebook about Foreign wives marrying a Pakistani man and what all that details marrying into a foreign culture.I hope in the future more woman come forward and somehow groups are started to educate woman marrying into other cultures not just Pakistani culture.How amazing would that be to be able to pick up a book like that in pretty much any culture coming from a woman’s perspective.I think that would be off the charts awesome and soooo educational.I am noticing more and more American and other foreign woman are having alotttt of the same experiences like Mari2 mentioned to me.
    I am also very curious is Shabanah has had the same experiences like people coming into her room picking up things and walking out with them and Shabanah has to go trying to retrieve her things lol or people picking out your clothes and making them for u.lol

    Shabanahhhhhhh,
    OMG I forgot to ask u are your cowives both Pakistani??????????

  • anabellah

    December 20, 2014

    As Salaamu Alaikum & Hello to Everyone,

    @Shabanah & Gail,

    Thank you, lovely sisters, for welcoming Ummu ‘Ain, to the blog. It was very kind the two of you. :-)

    @Ummu ‘Ain,

    Welcome to the blog, sis, and thank you for commenting. I’m happy to hear you’ve been with us for a while now reading, and was inspired to make your presence known. I’m glad to hear the blog has been helpful to you. Alhumdulliah!!!

    I always say the blog wouldn’t be what it is without all the wonderful ladies and gents who come together here and share their stories, and give one another advice. I’m most appreciative to Allah for everyone.

    If you feel so inclined, please tell us a bit about you. How did polygamy hit you? Insha Allah, Jump in and join the discussion, if and whenever you feel ready. I’d like very much to hear more from you.

    Again, welcome and thank you much for joining us :-)

  • Gail

    December 20, 2014

    Ummu Ain,
    Welcome officially to the Blog!Gosh u have been silently reading for a very long time.I am really happy u have decided to come forward and start chatting with us.I don’t have to tell u this is the best blog ever since u have been reading along!lol
    I would love to know more about u and your personal story.U and others reading silently is why I personally stick with the blog.When I was going through my own personal Polygamy Hell I felt alone and had know where to turn I wished so badly that I had others like me to reach out to for advises and support.I felt so alone during that time in my life but after I found the blog and Ana and the other woman I felt like this huge burden just start lifting off my shoulders.I felt like I had been liberated is the best way to describe.I hope u will come forward and and tell your personal story so it can help other woman.I see it as paying it forward! To help another woman or try to give some peace to another woman going through the Hell of adjusting to Polygamy and trying to make things work with her cowife and tell my own personal story about how I am raising my excowife gives me peace that just maybe I can help other woman in some small way.

  • Gail

    December 20, 2014

    Shabanah,
    I KNEW IT!!THAT IS SOOO GREAT!!LOL Now I can really understand u and what u r going through on a very personal level.My husbands family is from Rawalpindi and a couple of my sister inlaws are living in Lahore and another in Islamabad.I also have lived in Pakistan on and off for Years at a time.I will be honest with u I totally love living in Pakistan but the part I do hate is that I want to get up everyday and venture out into the markets and enjoy my life but my husband and inlaws live in a state of not wanting me to venture outside the home.I hate that with a passion and that really drags me down since I am a very free spirit type of person.
    I am really happy to know u are there and I wish we would have met u and other woman years ago who are living in Pakistan it would have given me more courage to have stayed in Pakistan and fought to live there in Islamabad.I totally am in love with Islamabad.I don’t know why but I really do love that country.While everyone else is screaming to get out and leave it I am like WHY it is so great here(other than the terrorist attacks of course).You may feel different though since u have been there for awhile.U on the other hand might be missing USA not sure.It is strange though when I am in Pakistan I miss USA and when I am in USA I miss Pakistan.lol My husband refuses to move back to Pakistan because he thinks he will be a failure.I think that is a bunch of Hogwash personally and NUTS! Anyway I can’t tell u how happy it makes me to know u are an American living in Pakistan.There needs to be a network of American or European english speaking women’s group formed in Pakistan so that ladies could get together and not feel alone.I think I would have been so happy and never left had I had a resource like that.
    Oh u know the best thing I love about Pakistan which is really weird and I am sure this coming from a nonmuslim woman this is going to be weird but I love love the call to prayer over the loud speakers.At first I hated it in the early morning hours but after I came back to the states I was like dang I miss the call to prayer over the loud speakers.lol When in Pakistan my husband asked me what I missed most about USA I said oh that is easy the TREESSSSS and fresh air! He thought I was weird and didn’t get it.lol

  • Shabanah

    December 20, 2014

    Wa alaikum salaam ummu ‘Ain and welcome to this wonderful sanctuary. I think we all have the same feelings towards this blog. May Allah Bless Ana. If only she knew how much it has helped me and all the lovely supporters and their input as well. I hope to hear more of your story. I find talking about it cleanses you. Much love and support. Allah has guided you to the right place.

  • Ummu 'Ain

    December 20, 2014

    Assaalaamu’alaikum sis ana and everyone

    I’ve been a silent follower of this blog for nearly a year now (also the age of my polygamous marriage)…alhamdulillah.

    I must express now that this blog has been one of my most effective emotional and spiritual supporters that got me through what started out as the most painful test from Allah for me in my life by far Alhamdulillah fa tabaarakallah.

    I have to give credit to sis ana for this effort by her…and of course…all praises and great thanks go to Allah swt for guiding me to this blog. This is definitely His way in helping me through it after bringing me to it.

    All these while, I have been taking each and every of sis ana’s reminders and advice…and what she says in this post is the best advice ever coz it’s the truth. Realising that Allah is the actual owner of everything…including our husbands, NOT US, is the very first thing that will untangle us from the web of dillusions in this dunya.

    Alhamdulillah, now the pain is nearly gone…and i’m at peace with what Allah has destined for me.

    You are all like a family to me…although i have been invisible to all of you. Lol.

    I hope to write again…now that i have found the strength to start.

    salam mahabbah,
    your sister in Islam

  • Shabanah

    December 20, 2014

    Musa Mohammed ,

    I too enjoyed reading your post. I try getting along with my cowives. My first cowife and I are very close alhumdlilaah. My second cowife and I remain civil but its very difficult smiling through the pain I have endured for years because of her. But im looking ahead. You know you have grown positively when you become uninterested in Loking back into the past. Eyes forward.

    Ana and Gail, both of you are too sweet. Gail, I never returned to America since my marriage seven years ago. Yes, im presently living in Pakistan.

  • Gail

    December 19, 2014

    Ummof4,
    Wow 40 yrs I think they give plates out for that long! LOL I am amazed seriously! It really says so much about u and your husband and your marriage.

    Shabanah,
    I agree with Ana u r a breath of fresh air to the blog.I am so happy u found us.
    I am curious though and u don’t have to say but are u living in Pakistan? You mentioned something I think in one of your post about Pakistan so I thought NOOOO surely NOT then I said well maybe.I have lived in Pakistan on and off for the last 11 yrs.It is going on 3 yrs now since we have been back from Pakistan and I am missing everyone.

  • Gail

    December 19, 2014

    Musa Mohammed,
    I really enjoyed reading your post.I think it is very important for woman to strive for peace and getting along with her cowife/cowives.I wish I could have got the point across to my own cowife.

  • Musa Mohammed

    December 19, 2014

    Asa Ana and Muslims I pray sisters have peace in polygamy and I pray Allah reward them for their efforts Ameen ,,, having a peaceful wife is a must in a monogamous marriage as we’ll so yes peace in polygamy is really needed for our sisters and brothers. Especially in America it’s very odd and different so it makes it a unacceptable way of life which makes the sisters feel ashamed which makes it seem bad which leads to not having peace. But peace comes from As-Salaam who is known as Allah the source if Peace. He is the only One who can give you True Peace. It’s going to be times when the sisters want to feel like their regular or say I’m so glad I got out of that marriage that’s not love, he didn’t love me. That may not be true and you may end up being more unpeaceful with the new monogamous brother versus what she thought was awful. Happy wife is happy life and it’s some brothers who give their all to their families and wives but sisters are sometimes just not happy with their marriage. Sometimes even being muslim or being a woman sometimes. And I understand sometimes but sometimes I don’t.. I try with all I have to keep the peace with my wives and it’s one who does but sometimes the other 2 … Allah knows best, we can’t live in the past we must see each other as our peace in this world. As Muslims … As Muslim brothers and Sisters glad to see each other. Foreal not just dealing with one another. So yes the wives peace is in obeying Allah and the Phrophet with all their hearts. The wife should always be at peace with their husband and continue to find peace with him because you love him. Period. He wants that he loves that. And the more you please your husband sisters the more peace you will find. That’s a promise. He’s your Man. He’s your Husband not your girlfriend. He’s a Man. Your Peace is in your Husband look at the beginning of time Adam and Huwa their peace was with each other until Shaytan tricked them. So sisters you are the best of women in these last days because you are upholding the life style of the Mothers of Tge believers and the wives of the Holy Prophet and remember make duah to Allah ask Him to place peace in your heart towards your marriage and your husband… Sisters we need you to be happy and peaceful with us brothers and patient. We love our wives and respect and appreciate you for being strong and not divorcing us. Please do what it takes to stay on your Deen and in love with Allah and you will have peace. ASA

  • anabellah

    December 19, 2014

    Shabanah,

    Thank you for the wonderful reminders you bring. I welcome them and need all I can get. I love the ayah you cited. Excellente. Ummof4 gives us nice reminders daily too. Alhumdulliah.

    Shabanah, you’re a breath of fresh air for the blog…Alhumdulliah for Him bringing us all together.

  • Shabanah

    December 19, 2014

    JazakAllah Ana. Wonderful post. Definitely has me thinking. I just wish i found this blog years ago but Allah is in control. It was meant for me to stumble upon this blog when I did. Allah be Thanked. May we all draw nearer to HIM by the second for HE is closer to us than our jugular veins. Allah bless you Ana for your constant reminders of Allah.

    ” And keep reminding because reminding benefits the believers” Holy Quran 51-55

  • anabellah

    December 19, 2014

    As Salaamu Alaikum and Hello to Everyone,

    Above is a sister post to the earlier post I wrote, “How Men can have Peace in Polygamous Marriages”. Insha Allah, you all will find it helpful.