Polygamous Marriages-Part 1

polygamous marriages-part 1In polygamous marriages-part 1 we will talk about polygamy as it relates to men. We have discussed women and how being in polygamous marriages affects them. We haven’t dealt  much with men and how they make out in this type of marriage.

Wives often feel alone and want to talk about the problems they have in their polygamous marriages. They have the many problem anywhere from dealing with negative feelings and thoughts to dealing with hateful co-wives. They have to deal with husbands whom the think are treating them unfairly or unjustly, as well.

Polygamous marriages-part 1  lets begin with wives think husbands have it easy

Polygamous marriages-part 1 lets begin with wives think husbands have it easy being polygamous. Wives believe the pleasure the husbands receive in such marriages diminishes any bad. They don’t see the husbands have difficulties in polygamous marriages, as well. The pleasure the men receive doesn’t lessen the men’ pain and heartache.

The husbands have to deal with their wives who, many times, are malcontents. The husbands must live with the wives and the wives problems. Sometimes the husbands find themselves all alone, with no one to talk with about their situations, the same as the wives.

In Polygamous marriages-part 1, lets talk about how husbands can have peace

In Polygamous marriages-part 1, lets talk about how husbands can have peace. Some of what I say will sound familiar, as we’ve discussed it as it relates to the wives. We are all very much alike.

First, the husband must understand that he cannot make his wife or wives happy. Only Allah can. Knowing it should quickly ease the husband’s stress and his burden. A husband has no power to make his wives happy. He has no power to make anyone happy for that matter. He can’t make himself happy. Allah does it.

Allah says he granteth laughter and tears. He stated, “That it is He Who granteth Laughter and Tears;” Quran: Surah 53, Ayah 43.

A husband could waste a lot of time and energy, trying to do something that he can’t do. Allah says men are the maintainer and protector of women. He did not say it is men responsibility to make women happy. A woman’s happiness comes from Allah, which dependents on the relationship she has with Allah. Allah blesses her based on what she has earned from the good she has done.

Allah lets us know in another ayah (verse) in the Quran that happiness is from Him. He says, “If Allah touch thee with affliction, none can remove it but He; if He touch thee with happiness, He hath power over all things.” Quran: Surah 6, Ayah 17.

Allah gives people peace and He makes them content. It’s what the husband needs – peace and contentment in his marriages and it only comes from Allah.

Please see Part 2 of this post: https://polygamy411.com/polygamous-marriages-part-2/

Please note: Please only comment about the topic on this page. Please discuss other topics in the assigned “Discussions” area.

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8 Comments

  • Marie

    January 14, 2015

    Bandar, welcome to the blog. I’ll echo what Ana said. I get rather excited when our brothers in faith come along to the discussions. It’s nice to hear from you all.

  • anabellah

    January 13, 2015

    Bandar, Wa Alaikum As Salaam,

    Welcome 🙂 It’s nice to have you here with us. I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences. We always like to have men here who live or have lived polygamy. We welcome a male’s perspective.

    There is always so much talk about time and maintenance as it pertains to polygamy. Time and maintenance are relative to the circumstances of each marriage. How do your wives get along with each other? Do you think it’s required that wives communicate with each other when in polygamous marriages? I look forward to hearing from you when you have an opportunity to oblige us. Thank you and again, welcome.

  • Bandar

    January 13, 2015

    as salamu alaikum. shukran for sharing. I think it would be better if you asked men like myself who have more than one wife about our practical real life experiences in polygyny. I am American but have two wives from Saudi Arabia. so that makes for an interesting turn of events outside of the rulings with respective to time and maintenance. anyhow, would love to share my thoughts and experiences on this topic at a later time. shukran

  • anabellah

    November 18, 2014

    Halimah Ceesay, Wa Alaikum As Salaam,

    Thank you much for joining us and for imputing. I appreciate it much.

    You summed it all up nicely. I like how you did it. I like, especially how you said working together for the sake of Allah will bring us contentment. Word!!!

  • Halimah Ceesay

    November 18, 2014

    As salaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, Ana. Maa shaa Allah, this is clear in expression and clear in truth. Men can not make women happy and vise versa. If we can understand this, we have made great progress in our marriages and all relationships. We can not overburden each other by expecting them to make us happy. Working together for the sake of Allah, subhana wa ta’ala, will in shaa Allah bring us contentment.

    JazakAllah khair

  • ~Fatima~

    November 17, 2014

    Hi Ana..
    I was on the mobile version.. haha.. Thats why I was confused.. Even though, I do use my mobile phone sometimes on here, but I dont use the mobile version,because it throws me off. Like today..
    Haha
    Im ok now.. Had a blonde moment.. I knew it would pass… hahahha

  • anabellah

    November 17, 2014

    Fatima,

    You made me laugh. The blog is probably confusing for many.

    To post any comment about anything in general, go to the “November discussions”. Each month we’ll have a discussion area. You could find the discussion page at the top of the blog listed in the categories or you could go to the right-hand sidebar and look under “recent comments”, click a comment that says “November discussion” (or whatever month it is to post/comment/reply there). Those are probably the two easiest ways to find the general discussion page.

    All other threads are for comments on those threads and no extraneous discussions. Comments should be specific to the posts. If people comment under those posts, it’s easier to find the link on the right-hand sidebar or scroll through the posts on the home page, or look up the post in the category section at the top of the page under “posts”.

    I’m sure I probably confused you more. I’m sorry, Fatima. I mean I’m sorry for confusing you. I’m not a sorry person as in “pathetic”

  • ~Fatima~

    November 17, 2014

    Im really confused on the site now.. I dont know where to post and read past posts.. Did you change it Ana or maybe its my internet server ??