In Polygamous Marriages-Part 3 we will look further at how husbands can have peace in polygamous marriages. We first need to know Allah created us to live in tranquility with our spouses. Allah says, “And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” Quran: Surah 30, Ayah 21
We know Allah puts the love in a person’s heart. Knowing this, we don’t need to earn our spouses love, nor can we make them love us. It’s beyond our control.
We Know that when a husband becomes polygamous it’s not always easy for the husband or the wives to find the tranquility that they should have between them. What should a husband do knowing he cannot promise his wife happiness and he shouldn’t allow her to be his lord? There are a number of things husbands can do to have peace in their polygamous marriages.
Polygamous marriages-part 3 The husband must make his intent to treat his wives kindly and justly
Polygamous marriages-part 3 The husband must make his intent to treat his wives kindly and justly. In Surah 4, Ayah 19 of the Holy Quran, Allah tells men to live with their wives on a footing of kindness and equity. There are things a husband won’t like in his wives. In the same Surah and Ayah of the Quran Allah says to the believing men that they may dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.
A man needs to have patience with his wives. He has to learn to forgive and overlook his wives misdeeds (We will all account to Allah for everything that we do). Allah says He loves those who are kind. Allah commands us to do justice, as it is next to piety. He commands us to fair dealings with people. It is important for us to have fair and just dealings with mankind, which means a husband should have fair and just dealings with his wives, as well.
Knowing men are maintainers and protectors of women, how can men help their wives with their faith? The best way a husband can help his wives with their faith is by the wives seeing their husband worshiping Allah. They should see him offering his five daily prayers (salats). They should see and hear him reading the Holy Quran at Fajr time and any other time. They should see him rolling his prayer beads. They should see him fasting, especially the Holy Month of Ramadan. They should see him being charitable etc. It’s how we learn. It’s by being with those who remind us of Allah.
Polygamous marriages-part 3 A husband may have an idea of how serious a wife is about her faith by how she responds
Polygamous marriages-part 3 A husband may have an idea of how serious a wife is about her faith by how she responds to the way he worships, whether she asks questions or join him in worship. It’s nothing a husband can force on a wife or vice versa. Allah determines who will be Muslim and who will be Muslim/Believer. There is a difference.
An important thing to remember from polygamous marriages-part 3 is the husband will be miserable and his life will be chaotic when he caters to his wives to the degree that they become his Lord or Master. He must treat them good – feed them, clothe them, speak kindly to them, consult with them about their affairs. Let them see him worshiping and remembering Allah. He should stand up for justice.
I hope you leave polygamous marriages-part 3 knowing when it comes to a man’s wives, he should make his intent, and put his faith and trust in Allah. Perhaps the wives will be happy or they may not. Allah determines whether a person will be happy or not. Allah makes us happy and He gives us peace. No one else can.
polygamous marriages part-1 https://www.polygamy411.com/polygamous-marriages-part-1/
Polygamous marriages part-2https://polygamy411.com/polygamous-marriages-part-2/
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