Polygamy and the Hidden Truths of Shirk

polygamy and the hidden truths of shirk

Let us take a look at polygamy and the hidden truths of shirk. Most people do not know what shirk is, let alone its hidden truths. It’s important to have a clear understanding of what it is. Shirk is to make someone or something equal to Allah or to give Allah a partner. Doing so is an unforgivable sin.

“Allah forgiveth not (The sin of) joining other gods with Him; but He forgiveth whom He pleaseth other sins than this: one who joins other gods with Allah, Hath strayed far, far away (from the right).” Quran: Surah 4, Ayah 116

To further understand shirk, one must understand desires. A desire can become a person’s lord. Specifically, a person may live to satisfy a desire, which is a sin.

When a person puts someone else wants or desires above what Allah tells us and instructs us in the Holy Quran, the person commits “shirk.”  She commits shirk when she puts her own wants or desires before Allah, as well. She has made her own wants and desires or those of someone else more important than obeying Allah. She has made herself or someone else or something else a lord.

A thing to know about polygamy and the hidden truths of shirk is that some people make their spouses their lord

In a polygamous marriage, the husband may have deprived the other wife of her rights. He may have done it trying to please another wife. The wife whom he tries to please has become the man’s lord. She’s his lord because he deprived another wife of her rights on behalf of the other wife.

In trying to please a spouse, a husband or a wife may neglect his or her duties to Allah. For instance, he may neglect worship of Allah by trying to conform to his wife’s way of life. Perhaps her way isn’t Islam. A husband may have married a person whom Allah tells us not to marry. Additionally, he may have married a person for a wrong reason such as “lust.” Consequently, he may abandon his prescribed acts of worship, such as the salat (5 daily prayers). He may eat haram foods or not fast the Holy Month of Ramadan.

Another thing about polygamy and the hidden truths of shirk is that the person has many lords

If the husband married a woman to satisfy his lust, he has made himself his lord. He has made lust his lord and has made the woman his lord, as well. It is shirk to have any lord other than Allah.

Allah, in the Holy Quran, states: “And he said: “For you, ye have taken (for worship) idols besides Allah, out of mutual love and regard between yourselves in this life; but on the Day of Judgment ye shall disown each other and curse each other: and your abode will be the Fire, and ye shall have none to help.” Quran: Surah 29, ayah 25

The above ayah lets us know that one could commit shirk with regard to another human being. A woman should make Allah, not her husband, her priority. In pleasing Allah, her husband will become pleased, if Allah deems the husband worthy of the blessing or benefit. Allah decides who gets what, when and how.

One other important point about polygamy and the hidden truths of shirk is that some people think they do good deeds, but the deeds are fruitless

If a person does a good deed, seeking the good pleasure of Allah, Allah will reward the person for the deed. When a person does a deed to seek to please another person, the deed is worthless. If she does a deed while not aware of Allah, it’s worthless, as well. It’s worthless, as she did not do the deed seeking the good pleasure of Allah. She did it to seek her own pleasure or that of someone else.

Allah says: “But it has already been revealed to thee – as it was to those before thee -“If thou wert to join (gods with Allah), truly fruitless will be thy work (in life), and thou wilt surely be in the ranks of those who lose (all spiritual good)”.  Quran: Surah 39, ayah 65

One needs to have Allah on her mind while doing an act if she wants it to count as a good deed. Allah tells us that remembrance of Him is the greatest thing in life without doubt. Hence, we should remember Him while doing all things.

Related Articles:

The Subtle Silent Enemy Shirk is a Sin

Men Help Women to Commit Shirk

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5 Comments

  • Mari2

    November 1, 2014

    Bro Musa Mohammed,
    Salaam. Welcome to this site! I welcome some insight from a man married to 3 wives. Why? Whom? and How? It would be interesting to know your back story, and the how and why you were compelled to enter into polygamy. Also, I am curious as to your country and the living situations that you provide for your wives. Separate, or same home/compound? Is your mother a part of the living situation? Do you have children? How do you provide equitably for your wives financially?

    Now I am going to give you some advice: Never tell one wife that another does such and such better. In fact when with one wife, don’t even mention the other ones unless she herself asks.

    Prohibit your mother/sisters (if they are a part of the situation) from telling one wife something about another wife. Your mother’s pleasure or displeasure with your wives should be strictly between you and your mother, NOT between your mother and your wives.

    Take whatever you hear from one wife about another wife with a grain of salt. There are two sides to every story, and each wife only has one story. Listen to both sides objectively, then reflect upon where you could have been a better husband before you require your wives to be better women.

    Women are competitive by nature for the most part. If you place one in the home you are likely to have some issues some of the time. If you place 2 or more in the same house you WILL have issues every day. If you want peace, be proactive NOT reactive.

    DO NOT compare wives by how many children they produce. Each woman is exclusively designed by Allah to give life as to HIS will, not yours, your mom, or your family/tribe. Furthermore, NEVER hold a woman responsible for failing to give birth to sons. It is the man’s output that determines the sex of the child. If you don’t beget sons, it’s totally You not her

  • anabellah

    October 31, 2014

    Bro Musa Mohammed, Wa Alaikum As Salaam,

    Welcome to our humble abode and thank you for commenting :-) So you have three wives, huh Shocked What’s that like? Alhumdulliah!

    I’m glad you liked the post. It’s a serious topic that needed to be addressed. I don’t hear anyone too much talking about it. To often I’ve heard or read that wives need to please their husbands to have a chance to enter Paradise. It contradicts what Allah says in the Holy Quran.

    I hear you that we wives need to stop threatening to divorce our husbands when things aren’t going our way or when we get super upset. Wives have to ask Allah for His help to stop us from doing it. If we sincerely want to stop and we turn to Allah for His help, eventually we will stop doing the thing we no longer want to do.

    When you’re at a good place with your wives, speak with them about the matter. Advise them to turn to Allah and seek His help in whatever we think we need help in and Allah will answer our prayers. It includes asking Him to prevent us from routinely asking for divorce. It’s all good. We may not get there the first, second, or third time, but with patience (with ourselves and with our husbands), perseverance and prayer, it’s doable.

    We’re here to chat with you, if you feel so inspired to join us at anytime.

  • Bro Musa Mohammed

    October 30, 2014

    Asa Sister Ana that was well written Surahs was on time with topic. We do have to beware of this I say that because I go thru it and have to catch myself of pleasing one wife out of 3. You are right Allah must remembered and Feared when it comes to this, I want to tell my 1st wife but I don’t want her to fuss and make fit ah but I get it done in a good manner . Lol ,but I must do it. I’m not do this polygamy lifestyle for pleasure I want my sisters in Islam to keep their Deen and Shahada safe as I need them to help me do the same. We need each but the sisters have to stop threatening the brothers with compromise of polygamy or face divorce. So yes Sister Ana this was great and I will share it with my wives and Muslims abroad. ASA Bro Musa Mohammed

  • anabellah

    October 30, 2014

    @Mari2,

    I hold the same sentiments as you. I love my husband, but Allah comes first in my life and in my heart. I used to concern myself with him and his beliefs to the point I’d become annoyed with him. I disagree with the saying of the “Khan” guy that was quoted here in which he said if a person gets upset when someone doesn’t listen when they speak Islam to them it’s because they want to be seen as a learned person or something or another – I can’t remember exactly what was said. Nonetheless, whatever it was, I don’t agree with the guy. I used to get upset or annoyed with my husband because of the love I have in my heart for him. When we love people we want the best for them and when they don’t listen to the truth, we could become upset. Of course I’d like to see my husband enter Jannah/Paradise as I want it for myself. Nonetheless, I’ve come to learn to focus on me and my faith a bit better. If I can help someone else, as well, it’s Alhumdulliah. There are a lot of readers of this blog out there. I don’t know who accepts what I say and it really doesn’t matter. I only put the message out there and what happens from there is not on me. I do have a strong distaste for people who flat out lie about what I’ve said. It hasn’t happened here on this blog, of course. I have to learn better to ignore ignorance the way Allah says we should.

    You’ve got the right attitude though. We have to let people do what Allah has written for them. It’s not easy when we see our loved ones doing things or thinking in a way that we know is not cool according to Islam. Nonetheless, we’re leaning day by day as we live this life, which is most important. To know the Truth is a beautiful thing.

  • Mari2

    October 30, 2014

    @Ana,
    Nice article. M and I have had many discussions about culture vs. Islam and the shirk of cultural practices vs the simple wedding practices of Islam that are halal. I say “shirk” of cultural practices because M isn’t paying for the things he is expected to pay for because he wants to or can realistically afford. M is agreeing to marry and paying to please others, namely his family and his mother. It’s shirk-by-proxy! M puts his mother on the same pedestal as Allah, she decides whom he shall marry and how much he will pay. M blindly (without argument or discussion) agrees to his mother’s decisions because in his words “I don’t want to make her cry”, and SHIRK is born! But, I’ve come to peace with and realize that I cannot fight or argue with that which neither concerns me nor that I have the power to change. I love M very much, but Allah comes first in my heart. As long as I focus on Allah, all things upon this earth can be dealt with.