How can a husband and a wife resolve marital problems in polygamy when the wife thinks the husband is unjust or unfair? The wife may claim her husband spends more time with his other wife than with her. She may think he spends more of his wealth on the other wife, as well.
Before we go further, let’s be mindful that Allah commands us to deal justly with all people. He loves those who are just. To be just is next to piety.
When a wife thinks her husband is unjust to her, it’s not an easy problem to solve. It’s not always easy to decide what fair and just is when a husband has more than one wife. The husband and the wives all have their own idea of what just and fair is. So, what can a couple do when they have a problem resolving the issues between them? There are certain things married couples could do to help them resolve their marital problems in polygamy.
A married couple could use arbiters to help them resolve marital problems in polygamy
When spouses have tried to fix their marriage on their own and it doesn’t work, they may seek outside help. They should get Muslim arbiters from each side of the family to help resolve the issues that they are having. If they have no Muslim family, they may have to turn to Muslims who are outside of the family.
Sometimes the couple can’t see past their desires. They are consumed by what they want. It’s when arbiter comes in handy. Hopefully, the arbiters could help find an answer to the couple’s problems that would make them both happier. It’s worth a try.
To resolve marital problems in polygamy, another course of action is for the husband to take an oath of abstention
The husband could make his intent to abstain from marital relations with his wife for four months. The couple must decide by the end of that time whether they will stay married or divorce.
Taking the oath may work for spouses who really want to make their marriage work and aren’t set on a divorce. They want to see if they could work out their differences without a divorce. It’s something they could try without ending the marriage.
Another means to resolve marital problems in polygamy would be for the couple to come to an amicable agreement
If the wife fears cruelty or desertion from her husband, the husband and the wife could come to a friendly agreement instead of divorcing. For instance, say the husband has a wife whom he loves more than the other and is considering divorcing the other. To avoid a divorce, the wife could agree to less time with her husband. They could agree that he’d continue to take care of her and their children. In such a case, the husband is content to spend more time with the wife whom he loves more. The other wife still has a husband and does not become a divorced person.
Divorce, of course, is the last resort to resolve marital problems in polygamy. When all else fails, there is nothing other than divorce.
What I mentioned above is not only for polygamous marriages. They are for both monogamous or polygamous marriages. The only difference between both types of marriages is the number of wives the husband has.
When a wife believes her husband is unjust to her, there is no need for her to feel there is no way out. Most importantly, the wife should always take her complaints about her husband to Allah in prayer.
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