Sad Because Her Husband May Become Polygamous

sad because her husband may become polygamousIt is quite common for a wife to say that she is sad because her husband may become polygamous. I’m not surprised. Probably every woman who thinks about polygamy or is just beginning a journey in a polygamous marriage gets sad and depressed. The good news is that sadness doesn’t have to last. It should only be a temporary state of being.

When she thinks that her husband may become polygamous, she begins to think that she is not good enough for him. After all, if she was enough, why would he take another wife? She may think that if she was good enough for her husband, then he wouldn’t want to have someone else.

It’s important to realize that it has nothing to do with whether a wife is good enough or not. It has to do with a desire that Allah has placed in many men to want to have a relationship with more than one woman. He made polygamy lawful for men. Therefore, men have no reason to fornicate or commit adultery, which are grave sins.

Allah made men capable of loving more than one woman at a time. He made them able to take care of more than one, as well. It has nothing to do with any shortcoming that women think that they may have.

Some men are dumb in that they think they need to give people a reason for why they want another wife. For instance, they may say that their current wives aren’t satisfying them in one way or another. I’ve heard some men say that they need to show people how to do polygamy. Another excuse is that they want to follow the Sunnah. It’s all hogwash. It’s just a reason and excuse that a man comes up with; although he doesn’t need one.

A woman may say that she is sad because her husband may become polygamous when she doesn’t understand polygamy

If a woman thinks that she will never be happy in a polygamous marriage, then she won’t. It’s because the way that she thinks will affect her life. Negativity breeds negativity. She has to make up her mind that she will be happy. The only way to have peace and contentment in one’s life is to learn what Allah tells us to do. We must believe it and do it. There is no other way. So, I suggest that a Muslim woman gets busy serving and worshiping Allah, so that she will have a good life.

She shouldn’t stress over what may happen in the future. Until a husband marries another, it is not a reality. A woman should stay in the moment and enjoy her marriage with her husband while the marriage is monogamous. If he marries another, then she will start a new chapter of her life. She could look forward to a better life in a matter of time. If a woman is sad because her husband may become polygamous, she probably has the wrong belief in Allah.

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4 Comments

  • anabellah

    April 12, 2016

    xoxo,

    To further answer your question in a more simplistic way, Allah says the unbelievers won’t accept us until we follow their way of life. Polygamy is not their way, so why would they accept it or us? Monogamy, Gay/ Lesbian relations, fornication and adultery, for example, is what they accept. They’ll accept us if we embrace those type of things – those are their ways.

    Allah says don’t be concerned with the reproaches of others. It means don’t care what they say about us. Ignore it. Don’t listen to it. Dismiss it.  We shouldn’t try to seek their acceptance because they will NEVER accept us. Stop wasting time on them. If they want to know something about our way of life, they’ll ask with sincerity.

  • anabellah

    April 11, 2016

    xoxo,

    If I understand part of your question correctly, you’ve asked: Why are men who engage in polygamy shunned and the women who marry men who are already married isolated?

    When answering the question, one must consider what Allah says in the Holy Quran. He says that the seeing and the blind are not alike. He says that the unbeliever and the believer are not the same. They are not equal. What does it mean?

    Unbelievers deal in evil and wrong doing. One can’t expect anything different or better from them. Allah tells us that it is what they do. There is no such thing as a good unbeliever and a bad one. So, of course, an unbeliever will engage in evil and wrong doing and think that they are doing good and is doing what is right because they are blind and they can’t see. It’s not their eyes that are blind. It’s their heart that is.

    They will see gay and lesbian relationships as good and okay. They will see a women married to both a man and a woman – polyamory – as okay. They will see men and women fornicating as nothing unusual but the norm. Adultery is okay to them as long as the person doesn’t get caught and end up divorced losing everything.  They will see a woman saying she has two husbands as okay. It’s all evil that they mistake for good.

    Polygamy, on the other hand, lived by believers and done with justice, fairness and not for lust is good. It’s beautiful and it’s pure. Think about it. Why would an evil person see what is actually good ( based on what Allah says good is) as good when they are all about evil? Allah says they can’t do any good. Allah says all that they do thinking it is good is in vain. It’s useless. They get no reward for it other than evil. Allah says he rewards evil with evil. They don’t accumulate good deeds. Allah says they can do no good.

    So, why do Muslims/believers think that unbelievers could understand and like polygamy which is good when they are all about evil? Why do Muslims go talk to the deaf, dumb and blind, trying to get them to see our way of life when Allah says they can’t see?https://www.polygamy411.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_unsure.gif Do they not believe what Allah says?

  • anabellah

    April 11, 2016

    xoxo,

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I like hearing what others think. I’ll respond to part of it momentarily and to part of it later, Insha Allah.Thanks again for the thoughtful post.https://www.polygamy411.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_rose.gif

  • xoxo

    April 11, 2016

    it is sooo tru when you say it doesn’t have to last. each women is different in there own way, but the society sees things as they wish, a man canchoose to mMary a womem  who needs taking care of,  to save her from the vultures of society….. to provide for her basic needs to allow an orphan to feel the love she yearns for. why is it that such a man is shunned. and a girl can marry a man not to take him away from his first family but rather to become part of a family because loneliness eats her in the dark but why do people isolate such a women more?