Should a Wife Detach from Her Husband

should a wife detach from her husband

Should a wife detach from her husband, so that she could grow nearer to Allah? Problems arise when a woman loves her husband way too much. So, exactly what is too much?

If a wife loves her husband more than she loves Allah, then it is too much. A wife needs to love Allah more than she loves her husband, her children or anyone else.

There is a concept known as “The law of detachment”, and it makes good sense when it comes to polygamy and Islam. Some wives may find that if they detach from their husbands a bit, their marriage may improve.

One of our regular commentators here at polygamy 411, who goes by the name of “coco”, shared with us an article on “The Law of Detachment.”  I don’t have the name of the author at this time.

Should a wife detach from her husband to attract him?

The Law of Detachment says: that to successfully attract something, you must detach from the outcome. When attached, you project negative emotions of fear, doubt, or craving, which actually attracts the opposite of what you desire. You are operating from a place of worry, fear and doubt and not serenity, trust and faith. Of course there are times when you should feel and act on negative emotions, but you should have positive ones that are dominant.

Let go and let God… because to detach, you must rest in the complete grace of God, and know that He is always working everything through you for your greatest good. To be detached is to realize that everything good is from God, and nothing at all is from you. It is God doing it through you and the other elements in your reality, so there’s nothing to hold onto as your own. All you have to do is to have the right beliefs, and let God do it.

You have to take your conscious mind off it to let your subconscious mind take over. The pilot and the autopilot cannot control the plane at the same time. You have to let go…

Should a wife detach from her husband to feel more secure?

When you detach, your desires will manifest much faster…. Attachment to anything will always create insecurity… In fact, some of the people who have the most of what they want are the most insecure. Attachment to something makes you wonder if you will keep having it, or if you may lose it. Insecurity causes unhappiness.

The search for security and certainty is actually an attachment to the known… Uncertainty and the unknown is the field of all possibilities or pure potential. It is ever fresh, ever new, and always open to creating new manifestations. It is the realm of pure creativity and freedom. When you attach, your intention gets locked into a rigid mindset and you lose the fluidity, the flexibility, and the spontaneity inherent in the field of pure potential.

Should a wife detach from her husband to have a better marriage?

When you experience uncertainty, you are on the right path so don’t give it up. You don’t need to have a complete and rigid idea of what you will be doing next week or next year. If you have a clear idea of what is going to happen and you get rigidly attached to the idea, then you shut out a whole range of possibilities… All you have to do is state your intentions and desires and detach from the how and when they manifest.

You may intend to go in a certain direction, but between point A and point B there are countless possibilities. With uncertainty factored in, you might change direction at any moment, if you find a higher ideal or something more worthwhile pursuing. You are also less likely to force solutions on problems, and it lets you to stay alert to opportunities. One door may seem closed, but another is open. What you want can always come in another way… we need to stay alert to see what new opportunities life (God) present to us. Have not a care in the world.

Should a wife Detach from her husband to feel liberated?

Be free-spirited and carefree. Have fun, play the game… Just have the attitude that you’ll do something and then will see what happens. Be in a place where you have nothing to lose. … It doesn’t matter if the past experience was good or not. Keep moving on to the next one. It is an enlightened way to live life.

You have to let go and trust that life is taking you to the things you desire. As you let go and trust in God, you will feel different, you will radiate a different vibration to the world, and better things and experiences will come to you.

The secret is in learning to simply let go… Let go of fear, doubt, worry, disappointment, and any other negative emotion that might make you feel low. You may step out from the flow for a while, causing you to feel lost and a break in the momentum, but the flow is always there, and you can step back into it again.

I thank “coco” for sharing the article with us. What we learn that does not go against Islam may help us have not only happier marriages, but better lives as well. Don’t try to hold onto a husband; make life about Allah. He controls all things.

“Coco”, thank you, again. I pray Allah gives you peace and blessings. I’d like to thank all the readers and writers who have joined us here. If anyone knows who wrote the “law of detachment” that I referred to, please let us know. Should a wife detach from her husband? What are your thoughts about it?

Please note: Please comment only on this topic on this page. You could discuss other subjects in the “Discussions” area of the blog

 should a wife detach from her husband

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  • anabellah

    November 20, 2014


    You did a good job copying and pasting the parts that didn’t conflict with Islam. I was impressed with the video. It’s short and sweet. I agree with you that it’s uplifting and inspirational. It encourages patience and acceptance. Nice!

  • coco

    November 20, 2014

    I LOVE seeing that you made a post regarding the law of detatchment 🙂 I really think this is a great reference to go to when your feeling uncertain or blue I know it helps me every single time as long as your positive and hold on to your patience you can’t go wrong! I did copy/paste portions that I thought wouldn’t clash with our Islamic beliefs. JazahkAllah for your prayers and I’ve missed you too!
    Much love sister :* xo

  • anabellah

    November 17, 2014


    I think it probably is the same. I wasn’t familiar with it until coco brought it to our attention here on the blog. What she wrote on the blog is what I posted. I didn’t know it was “Quantum Physics”. It sounds heavy. I know there are some authors who know Islam, but don’t label what they write as Islam, as they want to reach a larger audience.

    I’ve found that most of what I read of it that coco shared does not conflict with Islam.

  • Gail

    November 17, 2014

    I have listened to alot of Law of Attraction is that the same thing?
    I am very much into Quantum Physics.

  • anabellah

    November 16, 2014

    Brother Muhammad (Scot), Wa Alaikum As Salaam! Long time no hear from. It’s always nice when you stop in.

    I agree with you about “patience” (the ayah) and how it relates to what the author called, “The Law of Detachment.”

    I like listening to the video. I think it’s a cool, thought provoking video. I thank “coco” for sharing the excerpt with us. Insha Allah, she’ll stop back in again soon. I’ve missed her.

    Nice avatar you’ve got.

  • Muhammad (Scot)

    November 16, 2014

    Aslam o Alykum all,
    This detachment sound like to me be patience at all time.

    Allah(SWT) tells us in Quran 2:153
    O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient one.

    This has always worked for me.
    Allah (SWT).

  • anabellah

    November 9, 2014

    I found some good in the video. What I gathered from the video is that we chase material things such as wealth, clothes, houses, money, cars, etc., thinking we will be happy once we get them. When and if we get them we find, after a while, we still feel the same as we did before we got them. We feel no more secure with what we’ve received than we did when we were without. We’re always looking for and wanting more.

    We chase after something things we want. It’s because we’re caught up on the created thing and not the Creator. We rely on the known to get what we want. We don’t rely on the Creator; although we may say we do. We look to what we have in the bank or our pay check, or an inheritance or an investment or an Income Tax Refund etc. We rely on our limited knowledge and what we can see.

    We need to believe that Allah provides and He provides from means we may never have thought of or envisioned. The problem is hardly anyone believes. We only believe in what we can see or what is within our means. We limit ourselves. We don’t believe all things are possible. We believe in poverty that Satan threatens us with.

    We don’t need an idea of where we will get something. We chase security and what we chase runs from us. We suffer anxiety and undo stress due to an attachment to material things and relying on ourselves instead of relying on our Creator – Allah.

    Once we turn away from created things and turn to the Creator – Allah – we will find our lives improve. We’re content and at peace. We have joy in living. Allah will give us the things that we want and need, if those things are good for us. He says He gives the Believers good in this world and good in the Hereafter.

  • ummof4

    November 8, 2014

    As-salaamu Alaikum and hello to all,

    Ana, I agree with you. Take the good from this concept and leave the bad. The problem is that some people do not know enough about Islam to know what to take and what to leave.

    I feel uncomfortable about the universe that is mentioned several times.

    May Allah guide us all and protect us from falsehood and false beliefs. May He guide us only to the truth and to the true worship of Him alone.

  • anabellah

    November 8, 2014

    This is a nice video. Please note and remember well that the video shown below is not Islamic material. You have to be discerning. You must know what to extract from it that coincides with our teachings of Islam based on the Quran and what to leave behind that is not relevant. Nothing is absolute except Allah. Allah is the truth. Allah is the reality. You must know what Allah says in the Holy Quran and differentiate between what is truth and what is falsehood.