Should She Obey Her Polygamous Husband?

should she obey her polygamous husbandShould she obey her polygamous husband? Some Muslim men say to their wives, something like, ‘you’re not being an obedient wife.’  Note that there is instruction in the Quran for a wife to obey her husband. On the other hand, a wife should know that Allah says do not obey anyone who is negligent in remembering Him. What a person says and does lets us know if he is remembering Allah at the time or not.

We should know what it means to remember Allah. Particularly, we need to know what Allah tells us to do and what He expects of us. Reading the Quran is how we learn it. Furthermore, we need Allah to give us understanding of the Quran. He says it is a perspicuous book, and says He has made it easy to understand and remember (for the believers).  When a wife knows her religion, only then can she make her intent to do or not do as her husband says, when he says it. Allah tells us to judge others. He says judge with what He has given us to judge with, which is the Quran.

When answering the question, should she obey her polygamous husband, she needs to take a good look at him

SOME Muslim husbands see their wives as their slaves or their property. They may know little if anything about their religion-Islam. They don’t fear Allah and know nothing about ‘obedience’ to Allah. But they know they want obedience to them from their wives. Some embrace Islam solely for the polygamy and to own wives. Maybe they get an ego boost from it, as well.

Should she obey her polygamous husband? To answer it, a wife should ask herself whether he makes an effort to do what Allah tells us in the Holy Quran to do. For instance, is he kind and just to her and to others? Does he do the acts of worship that all Muslims must do? For instance, does he offer the salat (five daily prayers), fast, give in charity etc.? A wife should look more to his intent and effort than to his acts, as an act can’t be done unless Allah wills it to happen.

A believing man who obeys Allah doesn’t hammer his wife with the saying, ‘obey me.’ He tells her to obey Allah. The believing husband knows that when his wife is obedient to Allah, she will obey him. First, we’ve got to learn Islam and live it. When a wife wonders if she should obey her polygamous husband, she needs to ask herself if what he is instructing her to do is correct. It requires a judgement call.

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22 Comments

  • anabellah

    June 18, 2016

    kadija,

    I loved hearing you say that your husband tells you and the other wife to obey Allah. What he said is so true. If you obey Allah then the wives would have nothing to worry about or disagree over. Your husband has got it going on. He’s the type of husband to obey because he’s doing the opposite. He doesn’t tell you and the other wife to obey him. He tells you and the other wife to obey Allah. The husband who tells the wives to obey him is the one to watch out for and probably not obey. The ones who say obey Allah are the husbands whom the wives probably should obey. He’s the husband who is probably conscious of Allah and loves and fears Him. Alhumdulliah!

  • ummof4

    June 18, 2016

    As-salaamu Alaikum and hello to all,

    Kadija, I agree with your husband; it’s just that simple.  Obey Allah.  However, I would like to add one point.  In order to obey Allah correctly one has to study Islam from the Qur’aan and the Sunnah, not from a cultural base.

  • Kadija

    June 18, 2016

    I’ve read a few of your posts now and it’s so refreshing to see someone advocating the needs of putting Allah first before anyone or anything else. 

     

    When my husband was looking for another wife I adviced him to tell her such and such and such about his personal wants and desires so that she knows what to cater towards as all men have needs. He told me,  kindly,  that he’s not fussed about such things.  It’s running joke in the family that he’d happily live off tea and biscuits if that was easier for his wife. All he asks if that we obey Allah. His logic is that if we all obey Allah then we have nothing to worry about or disagree over. Those who obey Allah by default will obey their husband also and support their cowife and adore all the children in their family. As Allah is all about love and kindness and everyone having the same goal (jannat). When everyone is on the same path we can better help each other reach said goal :’)

  • anabellah

    May 17, 2016

    Lynnette,

    It is so good to hear from you, Sis. It’s been a long time, no hear from. Thanks for your valuable imput on the theme/post 🙂

    About the angry people out there in cyberspace, I just don’t understand it. Life is difficult enough as it is without getting involved with other people’s business who aren’t bothering them or concerning oneself with what doesn’t concern them. It makes no sense to me. And I can’t understand how some people believe everything that someone says, knowing the information is coming from someone whose hating on the person. How does someone spend so much time hating on someone who’s not a part of the person’s life.

    I I would write more to you, but I’m on my crazy cell phone too.

  • Lynnette

    May 17, 2016

    (can’t really edit on the Apple device…makes me very sad…)

    That entire “blog” that was formed of disenchanted Polygamy411 users and their moderator seems chock-full of lies, half-truths, and anger.  Why is ANYONE so angry in cyberspace?  

  • Lynnette

    May 17, 2016

    As Salaamu Alaikum, Sisters!

    What a pleasure to obey a good, Godly husband who lives his life in pursuit of Allah (swt) and the role model set forth by His Prophets!  A man who loves his LORD, his family, and who strives to be just in all his dealings is a rare jewel. To find such a man would be a blessing from Allah (swt) indeed!  He would certainly be worthy of my praise, as well as my obedience.

    And when Allah (swt) blesses me with such a man for my husband, I will obey him.

    Until then….https://www.polygamy411.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_bye.gif

    And Sister Ana, no good befalls the one who lies about another Sister’s character.  It matters not who is the liar.  Allah (swt) is a most just judge.

  • Laylah

    May 17, 2016

    @Ana

    A lot of what you said resonates. It makes me sad that there are facets of my husband’s life that I can no longer be a part of. I have also had to stop him from using me as a support for his other marriage. So he is adjusting also. This woman is very young and very selfish. She is pleasant enough. But it is a surface pleasant that disappears very quickly if she doesn’t get what she wants. I have had enough run-ins with her to feel that we need to give each other space for quite some time. She feels guilty about how she acquired my husband and insecure about it. She accuses him of marrying her for sex. And all of that makes her spiteful and hurtful. I feel discouraged by how he has handled this. Sometimes he has been grossly unfair. At the same time I know he is trying to make up for it. It’s tough and messy. And now his son will be born in August. Making things more complicated. She lives in a house with her brothers who are drug addicts.  How do you raise a kid there? I have forbidden my own kids from going there. I don’t know. If she were a stranger I would not befriend her. For my husband to choose to lie with her, procreate with her.. Beyond me…. How ever I  will definitely take into consideration everything you have said.  I need to think about everything. Shukraan x  Something else that you said… For years I was not taking care of myself. I was immersed in looking after my family. After this, I have changed. I am aware of what I need. When I am sick I rest, and if he is home he needs to pick up the slack regarding his kids. No more sacrificial lamb stories for me…

  • anabellah

    May 17, 2016

    Laylah,

    You said, “Because of him taking another wife, I have to almost unravel my identify . Redefine myself as an individual on my own, separate from him.”

    It is true. It’s what must be done. You are absolutely correct. Monogamy is not polygamy. They are two different animals. I think realizing it takes time. The wives are inclined to hang onto the way that things used to be and how they did things. “Used to”   is over.

    The one wife is no longer the only wife and therefore is not priority. There is a conflict of interest. A husband can’t look after all the wives best interest. It’s similar to a defense attorney can’t represent two defendants in the same case. There is a conflict of interest. I think it’s impossible for a husband to do it. It’s why the wives have to look after their own interest and stay on top of it. It doesn’t mean be self-centered and selfish. It simply means stay on top of your game. No what time it is.

    It’s why the wives have to have their own separate bank accounts etc.

    A wife needs to investigate who her husband is married to, as well. I think if the husband is married to a descent Muslim woman who is trying to do the right thing Islamically, there is no need to be super cautious of what you do that benefits the husband and, in turn, benefits the other wife and her family. It would be nice to live as a family, but apart (separate dwelling), helping and loving one another. I personally think it’s rare today. It’s good to help one another and gain barakat (blessings) for doing good deeds WHILE BEING CONSCIOUS OF ALLAH.  One must do it seeking the good pleasure of Allah and not the pleasure of the husband or the co.

    On the other hand, if the husband is married to an undesirable, or someone Allah says don’t marry, I don’t see how any good could be derived from sticking ones neck out to do good when the whole situation was built on the wrong foundation – if you know what I’m saying. Why help someone you know cares nothing about Allah and rejects Allah. Allah doesn’t tell us to do that.

    People are quick to say that no one knows what is in another person’s heart. They are wrong. Allah in the Holy Quran tells us the characteristics of people. He tells us what they do. He tells us what they think etc. He tells us about the unbeliever; mis-believer; disbeliever; hypocrite; rejecter of faith; Muslim; Believer; and unbeliever et al, if I missed any. He tells us their characteristic. He tells us all about them. Why? So, we can make a judgement call. So we can know who to avoid and who to associated with.; who to help in charity; who to spend our wealth on; who to love; who not to love; who to befriend; who to take into our intimacy; who not to take into our intimacy; who to marry; who not to marry.

    People who say that no one knows what is in another persons heart is wrong. It’s probably is just a cliche or a saying to fall back on when up against the wall or it’s vogue to say it or it sound good to them.

    Allah tells us to investigate. Why? He doesn’t tell us to do something  in vain. He doesn’t tell us to do something useless.

    It’s not judging about how someone dresses or superficial stuff. If a believer sits with someone or is in the presence of another for a good amount of time, the person can tell a lot about the persons level of faith.

     

  • anabellah

    May 17, 2016

    Laylah,

    I don’t think there is any getting around having the low self-esteem that a woman has when she finds herself in a polygamous marriage. We simply did not grow up wishing to be married to a man who has another or other wives. All wives, regardless of the order they married in will catch a hard time from society about it. Just like a woman never dreamed or imagined living that way, People in this society can’t understand why any woman would live that way.

    Now, let’s look at it a another way, and this is the way we should look at it. Living in a polygamous marriage can make one feel quite special. Take a moment and consider that a wife in a polygamous marriage is living the way the Prophet Muhammad’s (PBUH) wives lived. How beautiful is that?  Of course, the wives living it today aren’t married to the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) or anyone like him, but it doesn’t matter. It’s not the point. We’re talking about we women. Forget them (the husbands).

    Now, think about this. Facts: We cannot enter Paradise/Jannah without accepting the entire Quran. We cannot enter Paradise/Jannah with an impure heart. A woman who is in a polygamous marriage and accepts it WILLINGLY has so much to gain. PolygamY is the only thing I’ve ever rejected about Islam. Imagine if I continued to reject it because I was selfish, jealous, hateful, envious, possessive and more. Well, then, I rejected a part of the Quran. My heart is impure full of all the blameworthy characteristic that I just mentioned.

    Being in a polygamous marriage may be a woman’s ticket to Paradise, if it’s the only thing that she had rejected about Islam. She has a chance to make sure she accepts it and she works on the purification of her soul. It’s all good. https://www.polygamy411.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_wink.gif

    We need to change our way of thinking.

  • Laylah

    May 16, 2016

    @Ana

    That is true. On reflection, that is what he meant. That is really hard to accept. I mean, even though that is his condition, I feel that it reflects negatively on me. I never realized how my sense of worth was tied up within how my husband treated me or percieved me? Because of him taking another wife, I have to almost unravel my identify . Redefine myself as an individual on my own, separate from him. And yes I have had to turn to my creator to accomplish this. I had no idea how much I had buried myself within being a mother and a couple. And my husband took advantage of that to a certain extent. Part of his journey has made him realize this. He is with a woman who is more vocal about her requirements. I think I lost where I was headed with this train of thought…

  • anabellah

    May 16, 2016

    Correction, I said the women would be wondering what they did wrong. They won’t wonder. They’ll have their book of deeds that will tell them.

  • anabellah

    May 16, 2016

    Laylah,

    No, you definitely are not losing it. You’re making total sense to me. I agree with you about all that you said Islam should be about for Muslims. I think You are on the right track. It’s the many Muslim men who aren’t tracking. I’m sure there are probably a lot of Muslim women who are jacked up out there too, but we’re only hearing about the men.

    There is no different between a man who says he is Muslim and a non-Muslim who doesn’t do anything that we should do in terms of worshiping Allah. Islam is for everyone on the planet. It that not everyone will be Muslim and live Islam. Virtually the Muslim in name only is an unbeliever. Allah says the person must not accept portions of the Book (Quran) or the person is no better than an unbeliever. We have to accept the entire Quran and live it to enter Paradise/Janna. The problem that arises is that the Muslim in name only is an unbeliever, but just because the Muslim in name only says he is a Muslim people expect more from him.

    You heard what Spirited has encountered in her pursuit of a Muslim husband. What she’s been seeing and who she’s been communicating with is REAL. That is what’s out there. It’s what many of the Muslim men are about. It’s why many have no problem marrying non-Muslim women who reject Allah who is God, reject what He says and He tell us to do. They are equally unbelievers, but we don’t want to see them for what they truly are. Are they hypocrites? They very well may be too.

    Your husband said he can’t be Muslim without having polygamy. He is truthful with you about it, so there is no reason for you to disagree with him. He wants more than one woman. There is nothing wrong with it. If he can’t have that then he’d have to leave Islam and go fornicate or commit adultery. He’s telling you that it’s what he needs. It’s what I’m getting from what you said.

    For many of these Muslim men they embrace polygamy and you’d think they should take all of the religion – Islam with it, but they don’t. It’s a fact. It’s the reality. They live for this world’s life. This earthly life is their Paradise the same as it is for the non-Muslims. There is no difference. They follow the lust of their hearts and Allah says those who follow the lusts of their hearts will be lead astray.

    Be grateful to Allah that your husband is saying good thing to encourage you to serve and worship Allah and is not telling you the opposite or doing things to get you to turn away from our way – Islam subtly. You have to concern yourself about you and your faith. You will stand alone on the Day of Judgement bare and alone. Your husband and no one else will be there with you.

    I know exactly what you’re dealing with. You’re trying to get someone whom you love and care about deeply to do the right thing for his own soul. You can’t do it. He knows what he is suppose to do. You are not his keeper. He’s doing what Allah has written for him to be and do. You’ve got to find a way to let it go. Let him be. Stop focusing on your husband. It’s easier said then done, but you’ve got to do it. It’s preventing you from remembering Allah the way you should and from accepting His decisions.

    Your husband will account for himself to Allah. Allah tells us in the Quran not to tell people to do those things that we ourselves don’t do. I, myself, have to be very careful of what I tell everyone on this blog to do and make sure that I’m doing it to, because Allah doesn’t like those who don’t.

    You’re just battling with what you see that you believe isn’t right. See it; recognize that it exist and leave it all to Allah. You’ve got to get to a point in which you accept things the way that they are, if you can’t see a way to change it or else you will go mad. I understand what you’re going through.

  • Laylah

    May 16, 2016

    @Ana

    You are right. You do get all sorts of men practicing polygamy. I just get so steamed when I hear stories of women who have been ill treated within it! What I’m trying to say is, should polygamy be the sole religion a guy has? My husband once said something I totally disagree with. He said, polygamy isIslam, for him. If he doesn’t have polygamy? He can’t be Muslim. I just tend to feel, I don’t know I could be wrong, that maybe the first focus should be your Ibadat ( acts of worship) . Salaah, fasting, Quraanic recitation. And the reason is, I feel like in order to do a good job in polygamy or even monogamously, you need Taqwa. So that you fear repercussion for oppressing your wife, or preventing her education. I’m not being judgmental. I just hear so many times, turn to Salaah, make thikr, have Taqwa, all from my husband. Regarding polygamy. While all this is true, it’s not just incumbent on a woman to exist in polygamy, but also on the man, so he practices correctly? Ok now I’m not sure if I… @Ana, am I losing it? Whadya think?https://www.polygamy411.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-monalisa/icons/wpml_wacko.gif

  • anabellah

    May 15, 2016

    Marah S,

    It is very sad what those young girls are taught. But it’s not just the young girls. It’s reverts of all ages, as well. When I first became Muslim, I read ALL KIND of Islamic books. I have a library of Islamic books by Sheiks, scholars, including some Hadiths. I read all that you said in your post about the sayings that are circulating out there. It’s very sad that emphasis is placed on those things, making life about a husband. Sadly, the masses of Muslims women believe it.

    It’s very hard to believe that our beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) who received the revelation (the same message that all the other Prophets received about the one and only God) talked about someone bowing down to anyone other than God. If he did, it must have been taken out of context by the people who are repeating those sayings today. If indeed he said it, he must have been talking to his righteous, pious followers and their believing wives. NOW, today, all these so call Muslim men, many of them are Muslims in name only are out there talking that rhetoric. They aren’t telling the women to obey and worshiping Allah. They want the women to worship them. The women are not learned. They don’t learn from themselves. It’s like most people out there today; they believe anything that anyone says. They don’t confirm it. They don’t verify it. They just take it as truth.

    The women listen to these men who are leading them straight to the Hell Fire and the whole time the women think they are headed to Jannah/Paradise. There’s an ayah in the Quran that goes something like – the Hell Fire is waiting for some in ambush. They will spend all their lives kissing their husbands butts and bowing down to them only find themselves in the Hell Fire, wondering what they did wrong.

  • Marah S

    May 15, 2016

    ASA,

    Since I was young one of the things that was taught to me in the masjid was that women have to obey their husband in all that he says unless he tells her to disobey Allah (for instance tells her to drink alcohol), I’ve always been told things like The prophet Muhammad said if he would order any women to bow down to someone other than Allah he would order her to bow to her husband. And that if a woman dies with her husband unpleased with her than she will go to hell, even if the husband is an unreasonable and tough person to make happy, it is the wife’s job to make him content with her. It’s quite sad when I look back now on the things young girls are taught at the masjid.

  • anabellah

    May 15, 2016

    Anyhow, while I’m on a roll, some people have emailed me about what some wanna be out there in cyberspace is saying about me. in particular they speak of “Kim” AKA (also known as) “Unchained” who used to be here on this blog for years until I banned her. She spends her waking days and nights talking about me out there in cyberspace. I guess she has nothing useful to do. She’s quick to talk about what I have and what I do not have, without knowing me or having any evidence of it other than what some haters/liars out there make up. However, Kim was on this blog talking about having been evicted with no place to live. Based on what some people have emailed me, she’s on another blog talking about living with her children and grand children because she can’t afford her own but yet she talks about what I have and don’t have with no proof other than what she makes up in her head or what someone else makes up. She has no husband. The one she had took all her money and divorced her for a Muslim woman. She can’t get another husband. Kim hasn’t a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. Instead of trying to get her life, she makes her life about me. She has no life of her own, so she worries and obsesses about me. Sounds like a person with a mental problem. So, anyhow, I’ve gotten it off my chest, so we can move on and have no further discussion about it, unlike the person named Kim who is unhinged and needs to be chained. How pathetic and sad that she thrives on thinking about me. Her daily conversation is about me all day and night.

  • anabellah

    May 15, 2016

    Talking about men not wanting women to learn the Truth about Islam, they mislead men (humans) from the path of Allah. It’s just like the people who used to come here and tell everyone that they need to learn the Quran in Arabic or they won’t understand the Quran. They mislead men from the path of Allah. I nip it in the bud quickly. It discourages people from accepting Islam or from wanting to read the Quran.

    One of the liar out there in cyberspace among the group that makes thing up about people and the ignorant believe anything that is said by any commentator said I don’t encourage anyone to learn Arabic because I can’t learn it myself. How would she know what I can learn and can’t? They live in make believe worlds in their heads. They talk out their @sses. I say my salats in Arabic and I learned several surahs in Arabic as well. It’ll all of Arabic that I want to learn and no more – just to get the record straight for the ones out there who idly sit about discussing me all their lives. Poor thangs.

    I tell everyone to learn the Quran in whatever language they can learn it in. Allah didn’t make everyone an Arab. If he wanted everyone to speak Arabic, it would be the universal language that EVERYONE speaks.

    Some people can’t read their own language let alone trying to learn Arabic. By time someone learn the Arabic language, they may be dead before they got a chance to read and learn the Quran. Some people memorize Quran in Arabic and that’s all they got from it. They have no clue of the meaning. All they’ve got is the recitation.

    Again, people need to learn for themselves. What I say about Islam can be verified in the Holy Quran.

  • anabellah

    May 15, 2016

    I think a lot of people take certain liberties. For instance, there are some people who say certain women shouldn’t have kids. Who is anyone to say who should and shouldn’t have a kid? Of course there are ideals, but we don’t live based on someone’s ideal other than Allah’s. A drug addict; a prostitute; a teenager; a lesbian; a 72 year old woman who may make it to 92 when a kid is 20 years old; a mentally challenged person; a dwarf; a midget; or you name it and she gets pregnant – who’s to say she shouldn’t have a kid? It’s what I mean about people taking certain liberties. We lose focus when we begin to talk about ideals and not deal with what is real. What is real is that some jacked up Muslim men engage in polygamy along with the ones who are believer and get it right.

  • anabellah

    May 15, 2016

    Laylah, Wa Alaikum As Salaam,

    I totally agree with you about the mentality of some men who don’t want their wives to learn for themselves about Islam. Thank you for sharing the stories that you learned from your grandmother. If the women were to learn the Truth about Islam, the husbands wouldn’t have the control over the wives that they once had when the wives were ignorant and in darkness. It’s why Muslim women need to learn for themselves and not rely on anyone else to teach them.

    The first thing the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was ordered to do was to “READ”. I just learned recently that the word Quran means “read.” My wali told me that it’s what the Arabic word “Quran” means. Reading is so important. It’s vital. There are Muslims who discourage people from reading the Quran on their own. It’s crazy how these people think. Years ago, there was a Muslim brother-in-faith here on the blog who said that a Muslim has to learn from – he named like five different types of people. I never even heard of some of the titles that he rattled off. I’m like – how ridiculous what he said was. It was outlandish. Another person responded to it by saying, oh you’ve got to be of the elite to learn the Quran? He was baffled about what the person had said, the same as I was. A sister wrote me and I didn’t post it. She said a person can’t learn the Quran on her own because she’ll learn it from Satan. How foolish. Is she saying Allah gave us a book that no one can understand? But, how would those people know anyhow, if they think that way, believe it and don’t read the Quran.

    Allah clearly in the Holy Quran, several times in one Surah, says that He has made the Quran easy to understand and remember. He says that it is a perspicuous book. It’s an easy book. Only the believer, a person looking to learn the Quran for one sole purpose, which is to live it will get it (understand it). Allah says He places a veil between the reader and the Quran when the person reads it for any reason other than to learn it and to live it. Some people read the Quran to discredit others or to find fault or flaws in it etc. Allah says He teaches. In the Quran, Allah goes as far as to tell us when the best time to read the Quran is and how to read it – out loud in a slow rhythmic tone. He tells us to seek refuge in Him from Satan the accursed before we read it. The masses aren’t teaching this because they don’t want anyone to know. They especially don’t want women to know or they themselves don’t know.

    Laylah, I get what you’re saying about only a certain caliber of men should engage in polygamy. It would be nice if it were the case, but it’s not. The way I see it is that whomever engages in polygamy, Allah decided it. Maybe He decided it so the person could go further astray. Maybe he decided it so the person could grow nearer to Him. Maybe it’s a blessing and maybe it’s a curse for the man, only Allah knows. It’s a privilege that Allah has given to men. I don’t think it’s really right to say which man should do it and which man shouldn’t because Allah didn’t give us that right. I’m not going to try to play god and say who should and who shouldn’t engage in it. Yes, I believe that only a believer is going to do it well. The person will have to account to Allah for how he lived his life.

    Also, I am aware of a young Muslim guy who said he didn’t want a Muslim wife. He has a non-Muslim girlfriend. In fact, I know a number of young Muslim men who are like that. They date non-Muslims. Some Muslim men say they are Muslim, but don’t want to live the religion, which is why they go for the non-Muslim women.

  • Laylah

    May 15, 2016

    Salaam x 

    Shukraan, this is such an important post. My grandmother tells us stories about how when she moved into her atea, her family were of the few that owned a car. So she would fetch some of the Ladies and take them with her to the masjid, that was holding Classes for women at that time. As the women learnt more about their deen, and to question certain of the things , their husband’s said…. Their husband’s actually started refuse to allow their wives to attend classes! So this is a problem since time immemorial. Infact what we have a lot of in our community, are Muslim men, who are reluctant to allow their wives who have reverted to Islam to learn further. Infact, a young lady, our family knew, became Muslim when she married her husband. When she became a practicing Muslim. He left her. It’s so sad. These circumstances. I think, that polygamy is a privilege for a certain caliber of Muslim man. One who understands that inherent within that privilege? Is responsibility towards safeguarding and uplifting the women and eventually, children, in his care. And carrying out that duty with justice as far as he can. If he is not of this caliber? Should he have the privilege of being polygamous? I don’t think so. 

  • anabellah

    May 15, 2016

    Spirited, Wa Alaikum as Salaam,

    I think just about everyone can relate to the type of man that I depicted in this post/theme. When I first became Muslim, a non-Muslim family friend was visiting us. I was living with my mom at the time. He was telling me that he heard Muslim women make really good wives because they are obedient. I just shook my head and thought – seriously? The word is out that Muslim women must obey their husbands. My husband sometimes play around with me and says, “Obey me, woman.” “You have to obey me,” he says. I get a chuckle out of it. I know that what is said in jest is usually true, but the person says it’s a joke so not to offend.

  • Spirited

    May 15, 2016

    Salaam!

    Ana, I love it! This can actually be said for monogamous Muslim guys too. I personally know a woman whose husband acts very much like this, though he only has her as a wife (as far as anyone knows– who can be sure with these “men”? lol).