Should she obey her polygamous husband? Some Muslim men say to their wives, something like, ‘you’re not being an obedient wife.’ Note that there is instruction in the Quran for a wife to obey her husband. On the other hand, a wife should know that Allah says do not obey anyone who is negligent in remembering Him. What a person says and does lets us know if he is remembering Allah at the time or not.
We should know what it means to remember Allah. Particularly, we need to know what Allah tells us to do and what He expects of us. Reading the Quran is how we learn it. Furthermore, we need Allah to give us understanding of the Quran. He says it is a perspicuous book, and says He has made it easy to understand and remember (for the believers). When a wife knows her religion, only then can she make her intent to do or not do as her husband says, when he says it. Allah tells us to judge others. He says judge with what He has given us to judge with, which is the Quran.
When answering the question, should she obey her polygamous husband, she needs to take a good look at him
SOME Muslim husbands see their wives as their slaves or their property. They may know little if anything about their religion-Islam. They don’t fear Allah and know nothing about ‘obedience’ to Allah. But they know they want obedience to them from their wives. Some embrace Islam solely for the polygamy and to own wives. Maybe they get an ego boost from it, as well.
Should she obey her polygamous husband? To answer it, a wife should ask herself whether he makes an effort to do what Allah tells us in the Holy Quran to do. For instance, is he kind and just to her and to others? Does he do the acts of worship that all Muslims must do? For instance, does he offer the salat (five daily prayers), fast, give in charity etc.? A wife should look more to his intent and effort than to his acts, as an act can’t be done unless Allah wills it to happen.
A believing man who obeys Allah doesn’t hammer his wife with the saying, ‘obey me.’ He tells her to obey Allah. The believing husband knows that when his wife is obedient to Allah, she will obey him. First, we’ve got to learn Islam and live it. When a wife wonders if she should obey her polygamous husband, she needs to ask herself if what he is instructing her to do is correct. It requires a judgement call.
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