Some Muslim men abuse polygamy. Why? It’s the question more Muslims should ask and answer. Commentators here at polygamy 411 speak of the abuse often.
It’s not a matter of whether Allah allows polygamy. It’s a fact that He does. There is no need for a Muslim to waste her or his time in debate or argument about it.
The question isn’t whether to regulate or ban polygamy either. Allah places restrictions on polygamy already. It is that a man may only have four wives at one time. Additionally, he may not marry two sisters at the same time.
I’ve summed up polygamy and its restrictions in a nutshell. I’ve already discussed in another post the restriction on polygamy with regard to justice. It is about justice to orphans. The link to the post is: Allah Allows Men Four Wives In Polygamy
How do some Muslim men abuse polygamy?
One way some Muslim men abuse polygamy is by keeping some of their wives a secret. For instance, they don’t let the one wife know about the other. To hide and lie to their wives is their norm. Furthermore, it’s not uncommon for them to degrade their wives by having them live as mistresses.
After the marriage, the man may tell his wife that he already has one, or the wife may find out later on her own. The discovery messes her up. She is now in way over her head and is at a loss about what to do. She has put a lot of time, energy and emotions into the man who is now her husband.
Another way some Muslim men abuse polygamy is by not seeing a wife often enough, or they do not spend their wealth on her. As a result, the wife feels abandoned. She may feel as though she has no husband. A feeling of loneliness comes over her.
Why do some Muslim men abuse polygamy in the ways mentioned above?
It is because they fear others. The others usually are their other wives. They fear the wives they married first. They fear the first wives may seek a divorce. Furthermore, the men fear losing their children
The man may fear the other woman may not marry him, if she knows he is already married. Not only non-Muslim women reject polygamy, but many Muslim women reject it, as well. As a result, the man takes the easy way out. He does not tell her that he is already married.
The husband may not let the other wife know because he has a duty to his parents. The parents arranged a marriage for him. He goes along with the plans even though he loves another woman. In fact, the man has a wrong belief that he must marry who his mother tells him to. He fears upsetting his mother and his family instead of having fear of displeasing Allah.
When some Muslim men abuse polygamy in the ways described above, they wronged their own souls
Most people think that when some Muslim men abuse polygamy as mention above, they have wronged the woman. What is more serious is that they have wronged their own souls. The man is really paving his way to the Hell Fire. He fears other than Allah. Although, Allah tells us repeatedly in the Quran not to fear anyone, but Him.
The men have made their wives or parents their lord in that they fear them. They don’t fear Allah. We must remember that Allah is One God. He has no partners or equals. The husbands disobey Allah to obey their wives or parents. They do what the wives and parents says, and not what Allah says.
Lack of faith causes some Muslim men to abuse polygamy. Apparently, the men don’t believe in Allah. Not only they don’t worship Allah, but they follow their own desires and lusts.
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