For a woman, there are important things to do before marrying a Muslim man. She needs to know that he may become polygamous. It means he may have up to four wives at one time. When a woman thinks about marrying a Muslim man, she should know that polygamy could become part of her life. It may not matter if she wants it or not.
Women could put in the marriage contract that the men won’t become polygamous. It doesn’t matter. If it’s meant for him to marry more women, he will. Although, she could still seek a divorce. If a wife objects to her husband having more than one wife, he could sneak and do it. He could go behind her back, and have a secret wife on the side. It has been known to happen.
Things to do before marrying a Muslim man: one, the woman should investigate him
It is especially true when the man is Pakistani and the woman is a foreigner as in American. Many Pakistani men seek foreign women to gain citizenship or a “Green Card” or for money. They do it so that they and their families could leave Pakistan. After all, Pakistan is a very poor, “third world country.” They want a better life for themselves and their families who are back home in Pakistan.
Most women don’t know that many Pakistani men marry their cousins. They must obey their mothers as well, who seem to rule their lives. If the mother says divorce the foreign wife, the son will usually obey her. All the man’s money goes to supporting his family and the wife in Pakistan. The foreign wife amounts to a meal ticket.
Thing to do before marrying a Muslim man: two, the woman should learn about the culture that the man is from
Many women don’t realize that the western concept of love is not the same as that of men from other countries. Survival and being able to financially care for their families is the moving force for most of the men in third world countries. It is especially so in Pakistan. The foreign wife isn’t seen as family. She is not a blood relative. Some may know the song by Tina Turner, “What’s love Got to Do with it?” It is true. Those men could take love or leave it. They do not care about love the way Westerners do.
Many a woman assume the man will adapt to her way of life. She thinks she will continue to live life as she has known it. The woman may not understand or know that he has a culture that is different from hers. It’s one that he is not willing to give up. He may expect her to do exactly as he says and have no say in the matter. The husband may not like being questioned and may expect to come and go as he pleases. Basically, he may go without saying that he is going and where. The foreign wife may work with no problem from him. If she works, there is more money for his family in his native land.
Things to do before marrying a Muslim man: three, she should think with her brain, not with her heart
When a woman first meets a man and thinks she is in love, she tends to overlook all else. She thinks love will conquer all. If from the West, the woman usually had no family member or guardian to check out the potential spouse. She jumped into a relationship without taking precaution. After all, it’s how it’s done in the West. Isn’t it?
When a woman thinks about marrying a Muslim man, it’s important that she thinks smart. She needs to do her homework. She needs to know what she could be getting herself into before she gets into it. No marriage is free of problems, however, when spouses add cultural or religious differences to a new marriage, their problems could become over the top.
You now have your list of things to do before marrying a Muslim man. Be wise and think before you leap.
For more on marrying Pakistani men, visit: Marry a Pakistani Man? Beware
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