Things to Know About Polygamy

things to know about polygamyThere are things to know about polygamy in Islam that will make the life of a wife easier, if she is in such a marriage. First, she needs to let go of yesterday. Yesterday is long gone, but what is happening today is real.

There is no need for a wife to dwell in the past about how her life once was when her marriage was monogamous. Certainly, we can’t travel back in time. There is no reliving days gone by. When a marriage turns polygamous it is a new day, and a wife has to keep moving forward if she wants to or not. It’s because time stops for no one.

Wanting a monogamous marriage after it has turned polygamous makes a wife unhappy. It’s because when one follows desires she or he does not obey Allah. We must get in the habit of asking ourselves if we follow the way of Allah’s Prophets. Is it the way that Allah has laid out for us in the Quran? If it is not, then the wife follows her own gods. Often, what a wife desires becomes her god.

Allah tells us to commemorate the stories of His Prophets. A wife should think of them and not about what she did yesterday, as it will hold her back. What did the Prophets do when in various situations? A wife should learn what they did, and let it be her guide. Our prescribed way of conduct is in the Quran.

Among things to know about polygamy in Islam is that a wife can’t prevent her or anyone else fate

A wife must learn to humble herself to Allah’s decisions. She, her co wife and their husband are in a polygamous marriage because Allah decided it. A wife could try to manipulate and control a situation if she wants. Yet, if Allah has not decreed what she tries to make happen or what she wants, then it won’t come into being. She’s wasting her time. She hurts herself when she tries to get what she wants, but Allah has not written for her to have it.

It’s a sign that a wife is weak in faith and knowledge when she tries to change her husband or tries to prevent something from happening. An example is a wife who tries to stop her husband from becoming polygamous. She may try to put obstacles in his way. For instance, she may threaten to seek a divorce or tells him that he can’t afford more than one wife.

If we follow the lusts of our hearts, we will go astray. An example of following lust is a wife who tells her husband that he can’t have another wife. It’s opposing Allah. When a wife does what she wants to do and not what Allah says, well, it’s about lust for her. Lust is complex.

All that we need to know is in the Quran. Patience, perseverance and prayer are keys to our happiness. The above are just some of the things to know about polygamy in Islam. Stay tuned for more.

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3 Comments

  • Mari2

    May 29, 2017

    Khadijah,

    May Allah give you a good husband. I am sure there are many good widowers or divorced men of good character looking as well for companionship. I pray Allah guides one to you.

  • anabellah

    May 29, 2017

    khadijah, As Salaamu Alaikum. Ramadan Mubarak,

    Long time, no hear from. It’s been a couple years since you’ve last joined us. I didn’t know if you were new here or not, so I checked and found one of your posts

    Don’t despair about having another husband. Make duah that Allah will give you a righteous, pious one. Allah is a Doer of what He wills. I pray the best for you. I’m glad you liked the article. Thank you for commenting. Insha Allah, you’ll stay with us 🙂

  • Khadijah

    May 29, 2017

    very good article. jazaka Allahu khiran
    inshallah one day i will be married again. too much happened in my marriage with my co-wives…just to give peace to my husband and his family from all the problems that was going on.. too much fitnah i asked for divorce. inshallah Allah will give me another husband again one day at my age and not able to have children it is much harder to find a husband. it would be nice to have companionship again. Allah knows best. Polygamy can a wonderful thing. but it takes all to make it work. you should want for others what you want for yourself. But i learned the hard way many do not. May Allah have mercy on all and make things easy for people.