Unhappy wives who live in polygamous marriages are many. They are unhappy because their husbands married other women. Sharing a husband is not liked by most women. One can understand how a wife will be sad and depressed for a time after her husband marries another woman. Undoubtedly, she will feel that way, if she never wanted a polygamous marriage to begin with.
As the lifestyle is new to her, it will take a lot of getting used to. Some wives find that to live in such a marriage is unbearable. They don’t know why they suffer or what they could do to stop it. For some, it seems there is no hope for them to come out of it.
Unhappy wives who live in polygamous marriages remind me of a writer who was once here at polygamy 411
She was a sister-in-faith who was here off and on for a while. I don’t think I’ll ever forget her. Her complaint was always the same, which annoyed me. She made it seem as though we force wives to stay in the marriages and make them feel badly. She said that we made them think that they were not believers, because they did not embrace polygamy. Wives don’t have to accept polygamy; it’s not mandatory that they do. It what she used to say.
She was very unhappy with her life. She failed to know and understand that Allah places wives in polygamous marriages. Allah decided it for them. If the wives suffer in it, and it seems forever, they are doing something wrong. Perhaps they don’t obey Allah.
Allah tells us in the Holy Quran what we must do to live a life of comfort and ease. He tells us the truth. If one doesn’t have comfort and ease, then one is doing or believing the wrong things.
She said that she knows unhappy wives who live in polygamous marriages, and they are believers
She said one was in a polygamous marriage for nineteen years and was still suffering terribly. I said to her that those like her never accepted polygamy. They simply tolerate it. I further said that if the wives do what Allah tells us to do, they’d be at peace. Allah promises it for the believers.
The writer always had the same old song and dance and I got tired of it. She said, if it takes the wives away from their Lord (Allah), for instance, if they can’t offer Salat (the five daily mandatory prayers) or read the Quran etc., then they don’t have to accept polygamy. If the wife is so messed up to the point that it stops her from doing those things then she should leave the marriage, she said. It was her argument. She then wondered why she was so unhappy in her polygamous marriage.
When unhappy wives who live in polygamous marriages are that distraught, the problem isn’t polygamy
When unhappy wives who live in polygamous marriages are that devastated, they need to turn to Allah in prayer more than ever. Running away doesn’t fix the problem. They need to make sure that they continue to offer the five daily prayers and read the Quran then more than ever. We must do all acts of worship that Allah has prescribed for us, regardless of the situation.
When our Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was at war and the enemy was killing, dismembering and injuring his men, did Allah excuse them from Salat? He did not. He let them know how they were to pray during battle. Being at war, subjected to dismemberment and death are far more distressing than sharing a husband in a polygamous marriage. Do you think? Those believing men offered Salat with enthusiasm. The men looked forward to it, despite their hardships.
Wives use the excuse that they cannot do acts of worship because of polygamy. Yet, they are the cause of their problems. Polygamy isn’t. If they can’t do acts of worship, it’s because of what is in their hearts. There hearts are dark. They have impure hearts.
Many unhappy wives who live in polygamous marriages find reasons to reject polygamy, and it doesn’t help them. No one wants the label of unbeliever, but if the shoe fits, then wear it.
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